Broken
by jarielynn
Summary: Three people: two brothers and one girl. The Cullen brothers both love the same girl, Bella Swan. Emmett is her high school sweetheart; Edward is the man helping her through her pre-law classes. Who will she choose? Inspired by the song- Need You Now.
1. Prologue

***** Here it is! My new story.. I hope you like it. **

*****Thanks to my betas from PTB- Jessica0306 for sticking with me and kimmcarr for working with me for the first time.. **

*****Disclaimer- I do not own any of these characters, Stephanie Meyers does, however this story will be OOC and AU so I think I can say the plot is mine. **

*****I do need to thank Lady Antebellum for the song **_**Need You Now**_**- it gave me the inspiration to start this. **

**Prologue - Need is a Powerful Emotion**

She held the phone tightly in her hand, staring at the blank screen, fighting against her urge to call him. She promised she wouldn't. She swore to him and to herself that she wouldn't call, but her resolve was weakening with every minute that passed. It was a quarter after one in the morning and he was probably sleeping, curled up in his bed, snoring the night away.

On the other hand, _she _was pacing the living room. The lone hall light was the only bright spot in the otherwise dark apartment. The darkness consumed her, like the blackness of her heart - he was her light, but she couldn't let him shine there. Although she couldn't stop thinking about him, she knew it needed to stop, but she couldn't and she wondered if it was possible that he was awake and thinking of her as well. Her heart pounded in her chest while her brain screamed at her to put the phone down.

She stopped in front of the television- it was at eye level. She could reach the top without bending over or reaching high up. All she had to do was raise her arm just a little and lay the phone on top of it. Her hand trembled as she placed it there, and she turned away, running down the hall to her bedroom. Tears trailed down her cheeks. She threw herself on the bed as her heart pounded in her chest, her brain screamed and her body trembled. Her shoulders shuddered and large gasping sobs emitted from her mouth.

She was out of control. All she could think of was him. She wanted to beg God to forgive her so she could go to him. She pictured him when he stood before her and she told him goodbye- the heartbreak on his face, the understanding and acceptance that this was what they had to do.

The ringing of her phone stopped her dead in the middle of a sob. Hope sprang alive in her chest as she sat up, her skin tingling, and her ears perked to hear the sound. She jumped off the bed when she heard it again and made the mad dash into the living room, grabbing the phone off the television and pushing the green button.

"Hello," she answered, a little breathless from the dash, still crying from all the raging emotions pulling her down.

It was quiet, but she could hear his breathing. She knew it was him - his name had come across the screen - and she dropped down to the floor, crouching there, breathless and waiting for him to speak.

On the other end of the phone he sat, desperately trying to convince himself to hang up. But he was selfish and his body trembled at the thought of not hearing her voice or seeing her face. He couldn't let her go. He spent hours that night, drowning himself in whiskey, praying for the emptiness of sleep. It had not come and the alcohol only made him feel more desperate.

"I need you." His voice cracked as he took a shuddering breath. "I need you and I shouldn't, but it doesn't matter. It should matter… I shouldn't do this, but I can't help it. Please. Come… I _need_ you here with me." He clutched the phone, his eyes closed, head bowed. If she denied him, he would die.

It was impossible for her to say no. His words echoed every emotion she had been feeling. "I'm on my way." She kept the phone to her ear, listening to his breathing as she tore around her apartment, stopping once to slip on her shoes and throw on a jacket. Her keys made a loud noise as she yanked them off the hook they hung on by the door. Her eyes scanned over the pictures in the hallway, and her heart lurched into her throat.

She turned away from them. She wouldn't think about that- she couldn't.

He sighed on the other end and it only made her more anxious to get to him. "Hurry," he pleaded. "I feel like I'm coming apart. God… Why cant I just let you go?"

The same thought was running through her mind as she stepped outside. The cold wind was like a slap in the face, forcing her to stop and think about what she was doing. She was not this person. She was not a liar or a cheater. She was the good girl, the one everyone went to when they needed help or advice and here she was - possibly about to make the biggest mistake of her life. Her hands shook and she almost dropped the phone.

Sensing her hesitancy, his frantic voice broke through to her. "No, don't think about it. I know… just, please… don't… " He was afraid she would change her mind, not come to him. Nothing had ever made him feel as desperate as the thought of her not coming to him. He shuddered under the weight of the strain on his emotions. The ache was overwhelming, and he whispered her name.

At the tortured whisper her heart clenched and she ran to her car, hopping inside and racing the few blocks to his apartment.

He was there, standing in the hall, looking destitute and broken. She wound her arms tightly around him, burying her nose into his chest, breathing him in. His scent usually calmed her, but not now - she was still trembling. Her hands found their way to his chest, where her fingers stroked. Small gasps of air were being pushed from her lips as she stared at his chest, afraid to look up into his eyes. Once there she knew she would never again be able to find her way home.

His hands grasped the sides of her face and forced her to look up at him. "I'm so sorry."

His eyes moved over her, taking in her appearance. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying. He could read the panic in them, the guilt and the love. Her cheeks flushed as he stared at her. He swallowed as his own guilt stirred in his chest, but he pushed it down, wanting to feel only her.

She nodded, looking up at him. He was just inches from her lips- just a small press forward and they would be kissing. Heat radiated from him, as if his entire self was in flames, and her body vibrated from the feel of him under her hands.

Finally, no longer able to help herself, she raised up and her lips touched his. A tormented sigh broke from his lips as he again whispered her name and his mouth moved over hers, urgent and needy.

Her back hit the wall as he pushed her against it. His hands greedily moved across her body, and he sucked on her lips and moved along her chin. He wanted to taste all of her; she was intoxicating. She moaned and moved against him, her fingers gently winding through his hair.

Months of denial, of repression and withheld need, came down to this one moment and it wasn't pretty or full of love and beautiful words. It was hard and fast and full of desperation and guilt and sorrow. They never made it past the hallway, and their clothes didn't come all the way off. It wasn't what either had imagined it would be.

She cried when he entered her, burying her face in his shoulder, trying to hide her tears from him. Her unforgivable body reacted to each move he made, coming alive beneath his touch, his mouth.

He groaned and swore and apologized, over and over, her name pouring from his lips. She moved against him as everything around her exploded and time stopped, and for just a minute all she could think of was him… all else was forgotten.

He grabbed her hard as he came, his words muffled against her throat, his open mouth breathing warmth against her. His mind was full of her- her scent, her taste… everything.

Without looking at her, he dropped to his knees, leaning his head against her stomach and taking deep breaths in. His hand ran down her leg to cup her foot, raising it and removing her shoe. He repeated the process on the other foot, his hands gliding up her hips and pulling her pants the rest of the way down and off. He caressed back up her legs and moved up her thighs and waist. Her skin was soft and supple, and he allowed his hands to linger, taking their time, loving each inch of her. He pulled gently on her shirt, lifting it up and over her head. Deftly, he unsnapped her bra, freeing her breasts. His breath caught as he stared, his fingers twitching to touch them.

A soft moan escaped her as she watched him look her over, the desire apparent in his eyes. He stepped back and slid off his own pants, tossing his shirt onto the pile of clothing on the floor.

Gathering her to him again, he lifted her up into his arms, his eyes locking on hers, his expression soft and worried. He carried her to his room and laid her down on his bed. Pulling the covers over both of them, he snuggled against her. His arms wound around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"I couldn't do without you. I needed to feel something other than the loneliness." His voice caressed against her, and she turned in his arms so she was facing him. He gazed into her eyes, and found peace. At least now, in this moment, they could relax. His breathing slowed and his heart calmed.

Her fingers drew imaginary lines across his chest and she breathed in his scent, her body finally relaxing, her mind quiet. Sighing heavily, she burrowed closer to him, her lips kissing along his collarbone, and her leg tangling in between his.

She felt him stir against her, and she pushed against his chest so his back was to the bed. Straddling him, she bent down, kissing every detail, memorizing every curve. His breathing quickened as she rose over him to slide him inside.

He grasped her hand, squeezing it tightly, his eyes wide and wondering, his mouth slightly parted. He was amazed at the riot of emotions and sensations pulsing within him. His fingers dug into her hips and he rose off the bed, pushing himself deeper inside her.

She watched him as they came together, setting to her mind every breath he took, every noise he made, and every way he moved. She took a mental picture when he threw his head back, his eyes closed, face flushed, mouth open and yelling that he loved her.

They collapsed together, satiated, and slowly their breathing returned to normal, but his grip on her did not lessen, even after he fell asleep. He was afraid she would leave him during the night, and he thought if he held her tight enough she wouldn't be able to go.

She was glad for the tight hold, because she didn't even want to contemplate leaving yet. Not yet. Right now they felt so right together, fit so perfectly.

But she knew it wasn't right. It was so very wrong.

-xx-

On the other side of town a lone figure lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was thinking about her again. He missed her. His heart was aching and he turned on his side to gaze balefully out the window. A large gust of air pushed out from his lips, followed by a small moan of discomfort.

He couldn't sleep. Would he ever be able to sleep again?

Giving up on the idea of getting any rest, he finally stood and went into the kitchen. He wondered where she was. Why didn't she answer her phone when he called? Was she just sleeping or was she out somewhere?

Two days ago she had left him. Two days ago his world had stopped.

As dawn broke through his window he stood, deciding he needed to talk to her again. After showering and dressing, he made his way over to her place. She wasn't there. It was like a slap in the face. _That didn't take long, _he thought angrily, slamming his fist into the door, before turning and walking quickly away.

He went back home and stood on the middle of his living room, his arms shaking as anger surged through him- anger _and _hurt. He didn't know what to do with himself.

He was lost.

****So… What did you think? Intrigued? I was so excited to finally be able to post this. This stories format will be very different from SINE, the chapters will be shorter and it is written in third person. I hope you all like this as much. **

*****Welcome to my new readers! Welcome back to those who have been with me before- I love you guys!**

*****Please review. Let me know what you think. You can also visit my blog for teasers, pics, and music- .com/?zx=22bb2a5825e81337**


	2. Chapter 1

***** Thanks to my betas- Jessica0306, who is still sticking by my side- God Bles her and Izzzzy from PTB for betaing this chapter.  
***Disclaimer: Stephanie was the genius who invented Edward and Emmett Cullen. I just like to play with them. (Oh, Please...)**

_**Chapter 1 - Young Love**_

Emmett looked over at his girlfriend with a goofy smile plastered across his face. She was standing on the sidelines in a blue cheerleader uniform, pom-poms shaking, chanting out a cheer for the team. All the girls were lined up, but he only had eyes on one - Bella. His eyes narrowed on her thighs as her skirt swirled tantalizingly around them. Every once in awhile it would flare up and he would catch a glimpse of creamy, pale skin before it fell down again. Her waist was so tiny he could fit his hands around it. His heart hurt when he looked at her. God, he wanted her... more than anything ever in his life.

She was perfect. Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail that shook when she moved. The tight sweater she wore clung to her curves and his eyes blazed as he watched her perky breasts bounce under it.

He wanted her, but it was so much more than just a physical attraction. He was just sixteen-years-old but he knew that he loved Bella. He wanted to stay with her forever. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to give her anything she wanted. She was everything.

A hand waved in front of his face and he turned, meeting the angry scowl of the coach. "Cullen, get you head in the game and out of Miss Swan's pants."

Saluting Coach Barnes, Emmett again focused on the task in front of him - winning the game. The score was thirteen to seven. The visiting Cougars were up by one touchdown and there were only two minutes left in the game. The defensive line had held fast, keeping the opposing team from scoring another touchdown. It was time.

He jogged out onto the field, surrounded by his teammates. His best friend Mike swatted him on the back. "Just throw it to me. I'll be ready."

Bella turned just in time to see Emmett throw the ball downfield. She held her breath as it flew over the players' heads and landed right in the waiting hands of Mike Newton. Jumping up and down, she screamed, egging Mike to run faster. Her smile broadened when Mike crossed the goal line, and she turned her head to look at Emmett. He was standing back, grinning, holding his helmet.

Her eyes took him in- the wet hair that clung to his forehead, the dirty jersey, his tight waist and butt. She wrinkled her nose and looked down at the ground, wondering if anyone had seen her ogling her boyfriend's butt. She would be so embarrassed. She looked around, but luckily everyone was still entranced with the game. Eric Yorkie had just made the winning field goal.

The stands erupted in cheers, and Bella ran out onto the field, her eyes focused on only one boy. Emmett's arms swung down around her. Lifting her up in the air, his hands slid under her skirt as he felt her ass and raised her high. She giggled, looking down at him, and fisted her hands in his jersey. She slid back down, her fingers running along his waist. He was so big, and he swallowed her whole when his arms wrapped around her this way. She felt safe, loved. He made her so happy and she never would've thought it could happen to her, but she loved him. She loved the way he looked at her like she was his world. She loved the way he talked to her, so soft and sweet - different from how he was with his friends.

He bent down to whisper in her ear, "My parents are here." He looked at her with blazing blue eyes, the deepest, sweetest dimple, and a killer smile made to make even the coldest person's heart melt.

She quickly let go of him, took a step back and looked around her nervously. He laughed, grabbing her and pulling her close again. "It's okay. I didn't mean to scare you. Come on so you can meet them. My brother's here too."

He walked her over to his parents, smiling and holding Bella's hand tightly. He knew she was nervous and he gave it a little squeeze of reassurance. He stood up a little straighter when he saw his older brother, Edward. He was excited that Edward had been there for such a good game.

"Great pass." Edward congratulated him, his eyes flickering to Bella and back, questioningly.

Emmett looked down, smiling at Bella. "Edward, this is my girl, Bella."

Bella smiled at Edward shyly, gripping Emmett's hand tighter as Edward's warm eyes met hers. He was really cute, and Bella felt her cheeks heat under his gaze. He had the same messy, reddish-brown hair that Emmett sported, only his was longer. That was the only similarity between them. Edward was long and lean, Emmett tall and broad. Edward had grey eyes mixed with green, and Emmett's were bright blue. Both were handsome and Bella swallowed, looking between them and wondering how she had gotten so lucky to be standing between the best looking boys in town. She knew her girlfriends would be totally envious and couldn't wait to talk to them about it.

Edward and Emmett's parents stood off to the left. Esme Cullen was a petite woman with a warm smile. She boasted Emmett's dimples and blue eyes. Carlisle Cullen was tall, like his sons, with blonde hair and Edward's green eyes. Bella looked over the family in amazement. How could one family be so beautiful? She felt even more plain than normal standing next to the Cullens. This made her blush harder and stare at the ground.

"She's a little shy," Emmett explained, rubbing her hand, softly.

"Don't worry, honey. You'll fit right in with us soon." Esme's soft voice tried to reassure Bella while she reached out to take Bella's free hand. Bella looked up when she felt the small squeeze and met warm, caring eyes. Esme's smile was soft and giving, and Bella felt herself begin to relax.

After all the introductions were made, Emmett took off towards the locker room to change. Bella was left alone with the family, and she stared at the ground, fidgeting with her skirt nervously.

A soft, deep voice spoke from beside her and she looked up at Emmett's brother. "Meeting the parentals can be rather nerve wracking." He smiled at her, the left side of his mouth rising slightly.

Bella blushed and stared at her shoes. Edward was five years older than her and in college and she had no idea what to say to him. Her eyes flicked to the locker room, longing to see her boyfriend emerge and run to her.

"Emmett wasn't kidding when he said you were shy." His eyes appraised her silence and he grew curious. "How can you be a cheerleader and be so shy? I saw you earlier out there shaking and yelling just like the other girls."

When she did nothing but shrug and look down at her feet, Edward laughed and looked towards his mom. "Where's Alice when you need her?"

Alice was their sister and Bella really did wish she was there right now. She felt much more comfortable around Alice, who was only a year older than her.

Finally, after what seemed like hours to Bella, Emmett reappeared and they all made their way to the parking lot. Emmett and Bella got into his Jeep to follow his family to Pizza Hut.

"So… how was meeting everyone?" Emmett asked, pulling out behind his father's SUV.

"Okay." Bella shrugged staring out the window. She really didn't want to tell Emmett what a monumental failure she was at talking to his family. She'd barely said two words to any of them.

Once they were at the restaurant, Emmett came over to help her out of the Jeep. "Bee, don't be so nervous." He pulled her close, rubbing his hands down her arms. "Alice is coming and Edward's cool once you get to know him. My parents already like you. My mom told me. So, relax."

Over pizza and Cokes, Bella got to know the Cullens. They were a tight-knit family and before long Bella was starting to feel like one of them. She watched the playful banter between the three siblings. Emmett and Edward teamed up on Alice, teasing her mercilessly about her boyfriend Jasper.

"Alice," Edward said, perking up and glancing at his sister. "I here you have a new boyfriend? Why haven't I met him yet?"

Alice scowled darkly at him. "_Why? _Are you kidding? I know you. You just want to try to scare him away… and I'm telling you right now Edward Cullen, don't even try it." She shook her fist at him, her icy stare meeting his across the table.

Emmett laughed, nudging Edward in the side. "I think it may be time for a little Brothers Cullen action."

Alice's mouth fell open as she gaped at them, a soft strangled sound coming from her throat. "Mom!" She turned frantically to Esme. "Please tell them to stop. Emmet is threatening Jasper again."

Esme looked indulgently at her boys, trying her best to frown at them before her grin broke through to the surface. "Boys, behave."

Bella was mesmerized by the way the boys bowed their heads, but still managed to look up at Alice, mischievous grins on both their faces. Bella had never seen a family act like this before. Her mother and father were quite different and she had no brothers and sisters.

She was sitting there quietly musing when a straw wrapper suddenly hit her nose. Surprised, she let out a little squeak and looked around the table, her eyes landing on Alice. She was covertly pointing to Edward.

Edward was leaning back in his chair with a smile, watching her. Her cheeks burned under his gaze and her eyes flickered briefly to Emmett, who was also staring at her. She cocked her head to the side deciding that she could play this game. She swallowed her embarrassment and asked, "Okay. Which one of you did it?" Alice was still pointing at Edward, and he smirked as he swirled his straw in his cup before taking a long gulp of Coke.

Alice broke into a fit of giggles and Emmett barked out a laugh, his arm reaching out and settling on Bella's shoulders. He liked watching the way his family was responding to her. He knew they would like her. He was so happy to see her lighten up and not be afraid of them. She was so timid sometimes.

Now he would be able to bring her over to their house. He smirked while thinking of Bella in a bikini, sitting by their pool. Shaking the image away, he grinned across the table at his brother, mouthing the words _thank you_.

Emmett stopped the Jeep a few blocks down from her house. He didn't want Bee's father coming out and scaring the hell out of him again. He still hadn't recovered from the last time Chief Swan decided to check on his daughter.

Now, sitting in the darkened car, he reached out for her, pulling her close. "You were great with the fam, Bee. They loved you. I told you there was nothing to worry about."

He brushed her hair back away from her face. She had such beautiful, cinnamon colored eyes. He always got lost in them - tonight was no different. His lips met hers, carefully grazing over them, pressing against her, just enough to get a good feel of her. She was still very innocent. Emmett loved that about her. He loved that he was the only boy to kiss her. Tonight she was a little more aggressive and she deepened the kiss, opening her mouth and touching her tongue to his lips. Emmett's eyes flew open in shock, but he followed her and opened his mouth. She ran her tongue over his lip once, and the tiny jolt it caused in her surprised her and she pulled away from him, staring up at him, a look of wonder on her face.

Emmett smirked, his confidence building. "You liked that?"

At her nod he pressed forward again, kissing her harder, a bit more passionately. His sixteen-year-old body responded to the kiss and he groaned against her, pulling her closer to him.

Bella's heart was racing. No one had ever kissed her like that before and she liked it. But as Emmett's hands began to wander, she began to panic and pushed firmly against his chest, turning her head away from his kiss. "Emmett, we need to stop."

He did, but he sat their grinning, his breath fast and his heart thundering. "Wow," he whispered and Bella smiled.

She was still thinking about that kiss as she lay in her bed later drifting off to sleep.

-xx-

At the Cullens' house, Emmett and Edward sat in the kitchen chatting while they ate huge bowls of ice-cream.

"She's great, Emmett. Very pretty. Wished she talked more, but maybe I'll be able to catch more from here when I'm home for Christmas."

Emmett nodded, spooning his ice cream. "She will, just give her time. It took me three months to get her to even say hi to me. And another two to get her out on a date." He laughed, shaking his head at the memory.

"You had that much patience? Doesn't sound like you."

"I've gained way more patience since dating Bee. She's worth it." He smiled at Edward before going to the sink to rinse out his bowl. "You leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah, gotta get back."

"See you in the morning then. I'm beat." He thought about Bee some more before falling asleep. He was so lucky to have her. He loved her and tomorrow he would tell her that.

*****Thanks for reading, now tell me what you think. **

*****Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter. I love you! I recieved dozens of emails of readers adding me to their faves list.. yet I only have 11 reviews. :( Please hit the buton and tell me what you think so far. I live for reviews... tell you what- Review and one of my boys (not teling who) will send you a little something extra.  
**

*****Yes Edward and Emmett both have red hair.. I know Emmett usually has black or dark brown... get over it. :) I almost made them both blondes.**


	3. Chapter 2

*****Thanks to my beta's Jessica0306 and JulieGirl from PTB**

*****Disclaimer: Skiward is mine, thank you very much. **** All twi characters belong to Steph.**

**Chapter 2 - Edward**

It started out as an innocent trip to his parents' house. He wanted to watch Emmett play a little football, and it had been months since he saw Alice. Edward was tired; college was wearing him out and he needed a break.

He was looking for some peace and quiet, a vacation from his life. Then he met _her_. She was young - only sixteen-years-old and he was twenty-one. Edward reminded himself of this repeatedly. That in itself was bad enough, but it wasn't the worst part. The worst part… she was his brother's girlfriend.

They stood in front of him, arms around each other, Emmett with a dorky smile on his face and Bella staring at the ground. It was when she finally looked up at Edward with those big, brown eyes of hers, that he forgot everything else. His heart skipped a beat and he couldn't remember what they were talking about.

_Beautiful_ was his only thought. He stared at her for what felt like hours, but in reality it was only a few seconds. Her eyes had quickly flittered away from his back to the ground. Something had happened to Edward in those few seconds, and he swallowed, looking panicked and confused.

Emmett left them to go change and Edward was left alone with her. He knew he needed to say something, so after clearing his throat he said the first thing that came to his mind. "Meeting the parentals can be rather nerve wracking."

There was a slight nod of her head while her eyes focused on the locker room across the parking lot. He guessed she was looking for Emmett. He felt a small twist of jealousy and was disturbed at the fact that it bothered him. He was confused and took a step back, away from her.

He tried to speak to her again. "Emmett wasn't kidding when he said you were shy. How can you be a cheerleader and be so shy? I saw you earlier out there shaking and yelling just like the other girls."

He was curious about her. She seemed unable to speak to him, her face aflame, nervously picking at her skirt. Only ten minutes ago she had been in front of an entire crowd, yelling and shaking her cute little ass.

He suddenly wished his sister was there. She would be able to get Bella to come out of her shell and maybe help to distract him from the maddening thoughts that were running through his head. "Where's Alice when you need her?"

Emmett was on his way back and she ran to him. He pulled her close, bending to kiss her softly before looking up at us. "I'm starving. Let's go."

Edward cringed away from the sight, suddenly very envious of Emmett. He shook himself, willing to let it go, to not even consider looking at this girl that way. He had just met her. What the hell was going on? He tried not to think about her as he drove to Pizza Hut.

He couldn't stop.

He never felt like this about a girl before. Classes kept him too busy and he didn't waste any time on girls. His future was too important. He wanted to be a lawyer and not just any lawyer, but a damn good one. So he studied and busted his ass to get the grades that would lead him to the finest law schools.

But after just one peek at this girl, Edward was ready to give it all up just to be close to her. He'd heard of love at first sight, but this was ridiculous.

He stared at them while everyone sat at the table in Pizza Hut - the easy way she laid her head on Emmett's shoulder, the affectionate look in his eyes as he pulled her close against him. Edward almost choked on the pizza he was eating. Shit… Emmett was in love. This wasn't just any girl. This was _the _girl. It seemed they had more in common than Edward thought.

Edward still teased Bella, trying to get her to come out of her shell. She was so quiet. He picked up his straw and blew on the end, sending the wrapper sailing across the table and hitting her in the nose.

Finally, playfully, she gave some back. "Okay. Which one of you did it?"

Her soft voice sent a jolt right through his groin, and he grabbed his Coke gulping it down, trying to drown in the sweet, sticky fluid. To cover his suddenly uncomfortable situation, he laughed, shifting in his seat to relieve the overwhelming pressure there. She laughed, making it worse. Then Emmett guffawed, before bending down to kiss her forehead.

His hard-on was successfully deflated.

_Fuck my life, _Edward thought. He had to get out of there. He left before they did, rushing out to his car and speeding down the road. He had just pulled into the driveway when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was Alice.

_Your face showed it all, big brother. Stand back and forget about it. He's in love. Besides… isn't she a little young for you?_

Shit, was he that obvious? Had Emmett noticed? Had Bella? He threw the phone on the passenger seat, choosing to ignore it for now. He pulled into the driveway and sat there in the dark, thinking. _Let's be reasonable. I don't know her. We barely said two words to each other. Yes, she was cute, more than cute. _He thought about her standing next to him on the sidelines after the game.

It was no use letting his thoughts linger on her. He knew he had to get away. He would leave tomorrow and go back to campus, back to studying. Light reflected in his rearview mirror; Emmett was home. Prepping himself for the inevitable discussion on Bella, he exited his car.

Emmett smiled brightly at him. Edward followed him inside and they made their way to the kitchen. Emmett pulled out the chocolate chip ice cream, and Edward got the bowls and the spoons. This was their ritual. Whenever they wanted to talk, they did it over ice cream.

It started when Emmett was six years old and came to Edward crying over the death of his pet lizard. Edward made them both giant bowls of ice cream and they sat there reminiscing about the good times spent with Larry the lizard. Ever since then, this was the way it went.

Tonight was no different. Emmett wanted to talk. Edward swallowed and tightened his shoulders, taking a seat on the other side of the table.

"So... What did you think?" Emmett asked, taking his first bite.

_She's beautiful, breathtaking. She makes my heart stop. _He said none of these things. "She's great, Emmett. Very pretty. Wished she talked more, but maybe I'll be able to catch more from her when I'm home for Christmas." _What if this didn't go away? What if I still feel this way in December?_

"She will, just give her time. It took me three months to get her to even say hi to me. And another two to get her out on a date."

Edward sincerely hoped not. If he was in this condition just from seeing the girl, how would he be if he actually got to have a real conversation with her?

He told Emmett he would be leaving tomorrow before going to bed. Once he laid down and closed his eyes, he was assaulted by images of Bella. Yeah, he definitely needed to run away - run hard and fast.

-xx-

It took two weeks to get back into the grove of things at school and Edward still thought about Bella. He dove into his studies, spent hours at the library, and partied hard with his friends until he was obliterated and exhausted. It helped. He was able to stumble into bed each night and enter a dreamless slumber. In the morning, he would wake and start again, forcefully shoving all thoughts of her from his mind.

He didn't go home for Christmas. The few conversations he had with Emmett proved he wasn't ready. He used a ski trip with his friends as an excuse. Hi mother was upset, and he felt bad for that, but there was just no way he could go home.

It was a good decision because on the ski trip he met Vicki, and he wasn't thinking about the girl in the blue cheerleader uniform so much.

He was sitting in the lodge, lacing up his shoes when she walked by. His head lifted when he was assaulted with the scent of oranges and cream. There was a girl with long, curly red hair and legs that went on forever. She glanced over her shoulder, throwing a smile at Edward. It left him warm, and he smiled back. Bright green eyes met his before she turned and continued her way outside. He stood, grabbing his jacket, and followed her.

She stopped to wait for him, a small smile lifting the corners of her mouth. "Hi," he said, stopping next to her. "I'm Edward."

"Vicki. I was about to go up. Come with me?"

She stayed with him that night. The sex was incredible. They fucked everywhere, in every position known to man. She was crazy, and hot, and he was extremely happy.

After that they were inseparable. Edward didn't get much skiing in for the rest of the trip. Most days they spent locked in his hotel room. She was incredibly sexy, and he couldn't seem to get enough of her.

They continued to see each other after they got back to school. He couldn't keep his hands off her, and she was the same way. Edward's roommate began to complain about them, and the lack of sleep he was getting. Edward and Vicki were there almost every night.

To appease the roommate, they spent more time at Vicki's place. It only seemed natural to move to the next step and before Edward could blink, he was moving in with her.

For a little while, he forgot all about Bella Swan.

Until Emmett called.

He needed advice for prom. He was planning something special. Edward concentrated hard on the image of Vicki, but Bella was infiltrating his brain again. He was pissed, angry at himself for being so stupid. He loved Vicki… didn't he?

Confused again, he sat in his bed holding his head in his hands. No matter how he tried he just couldn't figure out how that… _girl _made such a big impact on him in one night.

He attacked Vicki as soon as she got home. They screwed on the kitchen table and when they were done, Edward thought of Bella. He tried again later that night in the shower but as he fell asleep, he thought of Bella.

The next week he worked hard again to forget her. When it didn't work, he decided to go home. He would see her, then he would know there was nothing special about her, just an exaggerated memory. He could come home and be with Vicki and everything would be fine.

*****Another chapter… What'd you think? Is Edward a bad boy for wanting Bee? Is she too young? Should Edward stay away?**

*****I can beg, plead, sob, and promise goodies in your mailboxes to get reviews. Please, please, please. **


	4. Chapter 3

****Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine- if it was I would have been at the Eclipse premiere and no there.**

*****Thanks to my beta Jessica0306 and to PTB for betaing this chap. **

Chapter 3 - Awkward Situations

The house was quiet when Edward opened the front door. He called out to his mom as he made his way back to his old room but got no response. Wearily, he stepped inside looking at the freshly made bed in anticipation. He barely made it there before he fell asleep.

He awoke about an hour later. Groaning, he sat up in the bed, and looked around the room. His mother hadn't changed much since he moved out. His soccer trophys still stood on the dresser; the same bed spread covered the bed.

The house felt oppressive and muggy, or maybe it was just him. He wasn't sure. He stood and walked under the air vent, pulling out his shirt to allow the cool air to flow underneath. His hair clung to his forehead and he pushed it back leaving the short tendrils sticking up slightly in disarray.

Edward thought a dip in the pool might refresh him, maybe help to calm his nerves before dinner with the family. He quickly pulled off his shirt and threw on a pair of swim trunks before he headed outside.

His feet refused to move past the patio door.

His mouth fell open in shock while his eyes widened and he took in the scene playing out in front of him. Bella and Emmett were in the pool. She was facing in Edward's direction with her arms wrapped around Emmett's neck. Her hair was wet and slicked back away from her face, and the upper half of her body was exposed and gleaming in the sunlight. Bella's blue bikini top lay in a heap on the concrete deck beside them.

Edward's eyes swept over her breasts, her lush skin and smooth shoulders. She was gorgeous. His cock twitched under his swim trunks and his pulse leapt, causing a feeling of lightheadedness to sweep over him. He closed his eyes as he swayed backward and stumbled over his own feet, crashing against the door.

The noise startled the couple in the pool, and a wide-eyed, frightened Bella pulled away from Emmet to gasp at Edward floundering on the ground. Quickly submerging herself in the water, she swam over to her top, grabbed it and put it back on.

Emmett looked over his shoulder to see his brother and busted out laughing. His grin was infectious and soon Bella was laughing too.

Edward stood, embarrassed, and wiped his hands down his trunks, brushing himself off. "I guess that's one way to make my presence known." He cast his eyes down, the image of Bella's breasts burned into his retinas. He swallowed and excused himself, going back inside to grab a glass of cold water.

He stood at the kitchen counter, breathing heavily. _Son of a bitch_. He came here to prove he wasn't attracted to her and the first thing he sees is her tits! A laugh burst from his mouth and he couldn't stop. He doubled over, alone in the kitchen, laughing hysterically at the situation he'd found himself in.

_Unbelievable._

-xx-

Bella sidled up to Emmett and smiled. "Good thing that was just Edward and not your dad. I shouldn't let you get me so carried away." Her cheeks flushed slightly as she thought of what Emmett had been doing to her just moments before. If Edward hadn't shown up, maybe they would have been able to try making love again.

Edward… she had seen him standing there staring at her. His eyes bore into her, heating her skin from the inside. She was so stunned that she couldn't move. Only one other man had looked at her that way and he was her boyfriend. She had to be mistaken and when Edward stumbled and fell she breathed a sigh of relief. Now that he was no longer looking at her, she felt silly. Why would Edward want her? She peered at Emmett when he laughed loudly and smiled herself. She shook her head and swam over to Emmett.

Emmett lifted her up against his chest and kissed her soundly. He was a little disappointed about Edward's interruption, but not angry. Things were getting a little heated with Bee. He wanted to wait until the right moment. Their first time together hadn't been what he had hoped and he wanted to do it right next time.

He wanted to talk to Edward.

-xx-

Dinner was served at promptly six o'clock in the Cullen house. Esme Cullen had prepared a feast of roast beef and potatoes, green beans and rolls. She was excited to have her whole family in the house again and flittered around the table arranging plates and napkins.

Edward stood next to his mother and kissed her cheek fondly before taking a seat next to Alice and across from Emmett and Bella. His father, Carlisle, sat at the head of the table, his mother at the other end.

He tried to keep his eyes off Bella and Emmett, but it wasn't easy. Bella's shy smiles and polite conversation drew him to her like a bee to honey. His gaze kept drifting, noting the color of her hair in the light or the way her hands moved as she cut into her meal. He watched as a bit of potato disappeared between her lips. A small smudge of gravy stuck to the outside corner of her mouth and his fists clenched against the almost irresistible urge to wipe it off for her. He watched while Emmett lived out that thought and gently wiped the gravy away with his thumb, before sticking it into his own mouth and cleaning it off.

Esme cleared her throat, watching the look of want on her eldest son's face. She was shocked at the depth of emotions she saw ranging there. Her eyes met Alice's and they shared a worried look. Alice had seen it too. Esme spoke to Edward hoping to distract him, to draw his attention away from the girl, before Emmett noticed.

"Edward, dear, how's Vicki? You haven't spoken much of her since you came home. Is she well?"

Edward tore his eyes away from the other side of the table, directing his gaze instead on his mother. "She's well. I just haven't… um…" He twisted his napkin in his lap, not knowing what to say. " ...things with her are okay, Mom."

The knowing look on her face threw Edward off balance and his eyes narrowed in worry at her. She smiled softly at him and shook her head. _She knows_, he thought, swallowing harshly. He was immediately ashamed with himself for being so obvious. What the hell was wrong with him? He needed to stop.

Bella shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She felt warm, and uneasy. She hadn't imagined the look at the pool. She was sure now. Edward Cullen gaped at her the entire dinner. She was sure everyone else could see it. Emmett didn't. She was relieved that Em didn't seem to notice his brother's attentions and a bit ashamed to say that she was flattered. He was so much older than her and in college. She didn't know what he could possibly see in her. She steadfastly avoided Edward's gaze and focused instead on her dinner plate or Emmett.

Emmett's attention was too focused on his thoughts and the conversation he hoped to have with Edward. How would he bring it up? What should he ask? When he looked up from his plate he witnessed the quiet interaction between Edward and their mom and wondered what the trouble was. He hoped it was nothing too serious as he needed Edward's help.

He watched Bee as she sipped her iced tea. She glanced over at him and smiled softly, her hand slipping under the table to rest lightly on his leg. He sighed in contentment and took it in his, squeezing gently.

Feeling even guiltier after witnessing the exchange between Emmett and Bella, Edward kept his focus on the conversation between his mother and father, injecting appropriate comments now and then.

After everyone was finished, Esme asked Edward to help her in the kitchen with the dishes. He knew this was her way of getting him alone so they could talk.

"What do you think of Bella?"

He grabbed a dish and scrubbed it furiously under the water. "She's nice." His voice was barely a whisper and it cracked a little.

"What do you think about her and Emmett?"

His face flushed scarlet and he turned to his mother scowling. "I know, alright? I'm sorry. They're great together. Obviously in love. It's okay. I'm well aware of what a prick I'm being."

Esme's face softened and she put her hand on her son's cheek. "What is it? Is it just an attraction? Why _this_ girl?"

He shook his head, his eyes downcast, not meeting her gaze. "I don't know."

"It needs to stop, Edward." Her voice was a little more forceful. "You'll only end up destroying yourself and Emmett going this route." She let go of his cheek and turned back to the dishes, ending the conversation.

Edward stood quietly beside her, taking a dish at a time, drying it and sitting it on the counter.

Unfortunately for Edward, he was unable to escape to his room. There was one more person that wanted to talk to him. After the dishes were complete, Emmett came into the kitchen and pulled out the chocolate ice cream.

Edward watched him and wondered what made him look so uncomfortable. He prayed Emmett had not noticed his horrible behavior during dinner.

Emmett's eyes were troubled as he turned to face Edward. Emmett wasn't sure how to start up a conversation about sex. He was sure Edward would have some good advice, if he could only find the words to say.

The boys sat there and ate their ice cream as Edward impatiently waited for Emmett to explain what was going on with him. He figured it couldn't be about him otherwise Emmett wouldn't have waited so long to bring it up. At least he hoped.

Emmett cleared his throat, his face red while staring at his half eaten bowl and forced the words out. "BeeandIhadsexanditdidn'tgosowell."

Edward's grip on his spoon tightened, a feeling of utter helplessness washing over him. He stared at Emmett, feeling nauseated.

"I was hoping you could… maybe, give me some advice. You know, so the next time is better." Emmett finally looked at his brother, his eyebrows raising when he noted the paleness of Edward's face and the blank stare of his eyes. "You okay?" he asked.

Edward nodded, carefully sitting his spoon in the bowl. He shook his head slightly and took a deep breath, willing himself to give the advice that was needed. Just like he would any other time. His stomach churned as he asked, "Was it her first time?"

Emmett nodded, looking chagrinned. "I hurt her. I tried not to, but I did and then I…" He looked at Edward and scratched his head. "I didn't last very long." He ended in a whisper mortified to admit such a thing.

Edward smiled a little, feeling some humor at his brother's expression. "It was your first time too?"

Emmett nodded.

He asked the first important question that came to mind. "Did you use protection?"

"Bee's on the pill. Her mom put her on it as soon as we started dating. I guess she wanted her to be safe - in case we- you know." Emmett was glad Bee's mom had the forethought. God only knows he sure hadn't.

Edward swallowed down all thoughts about who he was talking about and gave the best advice he had.

-xx-

Edward lay in bed, thinking about the conversations he had with Emmett and his mother. He thought about stumbling in on Emmett and Bella and about the way Bella had looked at Emmett during dinner. He could see that she loved his brother, and Emmett was clearly smitten with her. He worried that his mother would not forgive him for his feelings. She was right about it having to end.

He understood now. His feelings were nothing. He had to ignore them, get a grip on himself. His family was more important than any infatuation he may have.

He thought of Vicki at home. He would like to see her again, to get lost in her and forget all that was causing his stress here. He wondered what she was up to. Grabbing his phone, he sent her a text message asking if she would like to join him next weekend.

*****SO- I need your help. I'm having some trouble writing. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job. This chapter was tough- I deleted half of it and rewrote it numerous times. I think it's because of the third person writing. I don't know. What does everyone think? How are things going so far? Let me know. **


	5. Chapter 4

*****Thanks to PTB for betaing this for me! This round goes to Wendy5542 and JulieGirl18**

*****Disclaimer- I have no ownership of anything Twilight. Although I do love Edward.**

**Chapter 4 - Right**

Bella sat in front of her mirror, staring at the reflection in front of her. What did they see when they looked at her? She saw a plain girl with a broad forehead, tiny nose, full lips, and boring brown eyes; nothing that stood out. Yet that night, two boys had stared at her like she was beautiful.

She never understood what Emmett saw in her. He could have had any girl at school he wanted, but he chose her. He said she was beautiful inside and out. That her smile lit up a room and her hair was soft and pretty. She believed him when he said these things. She could see the truth shining in his eyes.

But to see Edward Cullen look at her in the _same _way - that was different. What would a man such as him see in her? He was older- a college man. He was smart and admittedly gorgeous. He had to have a girlfriend back at school, yet his eyes bore into her. His gaze made her uncomfortable. The green eyes staring out from his pale face were startling in their intensity. She was afraid for a minute that he was going to jump across the table and attack her, or at least kiss her.

Thank God Emmett hadn't noticed. Bella could only imagine how that would've turned out. When Edward finally left the table to help Esme, she had sighed in relief. Not realizing how tense she had been, she felt her shoulders relax. Afraid Edward might come back, she asked Emmett to take her home.

Now she sat there, contemplating those intense green eyes, so different from Emmett's soft blue. His look made her pulse jump but she couldn't understand why, and she didn't like it. She preferred Emmett's soft gaze.

With that thought, her mind wandered to prom and the night that lay before her. She stood to look at the dress in her closet, pulling it out and holding it against her. She smiled, thinking of Emmett and his reaction. Pink was his favorite color on her, and she had picked the dress accordingly. She swayed some and closed her eyes picturing them dancing together on the school gym floor. She felt warm and easy again, and sighed before hanging up the dress. _Next weekend_.

Her mind was full of prom and thoughts of Emmett in a tux as she pulled on her pajamas. Once in bed she lay for awhile and thought about the plans they had for that night. Finally she fell asleep with a smile on her lips.

Her mind was so full of Emmett. So why then were her dreams haunted by eyes the color of emeralds?

-xx-

Prom was finally here. Bella had barely been able to control her impatience throughout the week. Emmett's kisses had grown longer, slower and full of anticipation. She knew what he was planning for after the prom and she was so ready.

She wore the pink rose corsage he bought her proudly on her wrist and showed it to all her friends. They of course noticed that she was now wearing Emmett's class ring on her thumb. Emmett had given it to her last night as a way to confirm to everyone what they already suspected. Emmett and Bella were together.

They shared a few dances, her head resting on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her waist. Soft music blended with the chatter from nearby friends and the night went by quickly.

They didn't stay there very long.

Maybe it was cliché, but Bella didn't care. She didn't care about anything when Emmett kissed her. His warm lips made her feel tingly all over and the feel of his hands gave her goose bumps. When he pulled her hand gently towards the door, she followed him easily. She knew what she wanted.

-xx-

It was a warm, still night with a bright moon lighting the area in front of them. It shone off the lake reflecting out and bouncing off the trees. Emmett lay the sleeping bag down on the ground by the Jeep before pulling Bella close to him and kissing her softly. He looked down at the girl he was holding. He stroked her face and ran kisses along her neck. His breathing picked up and his heart pounded. He remembered what Edward had said about taking things slow, about giving to Bee before taking. He took a deep breath and deliberately slowed his movements.

He pulled her gently down onto the sleeping bag, his fingers running over her shoulders and down along her stomach. He hesitated slightly before drawing her dress up to caress the inside of her thighs. Leaning over her, his eyes swept down her legs, her pale, soft skin. Reverently, he brought his finger to her warmth and touched her. He held his breath waiting for her to ask him to stop. Instead, a gentle moan broke from her lips, encouraging him to move forward.

He pulled back as she struggled to sit up, taking her hand and pulling her up alongside him. She sat up kneeling beside him, then turned to allow him to unzip her dress. He stared at the exposed skin, as it was revealed. He gradually slipped the strap of her dress off her shoulder so that it fell gently along her arm.

"I love you," he whispered against her skin. His heart was beating incredibly fast and the excitement of touching Bella almost got to be too much. He slowed again, kissing her neck and breathing in deeply through his nose, counting to ten in his head to calm himself down.

Bella turned back to him, her eyes wide, her face pink. "I love you, too."

Slowly, they explored, learning what felt good, how to touch, and at what speed and pressure. Soon both were completely undressed and staring at each other.

Bella slowly relaxed under Emmett's hands as he stroked her body, his lips leaving trails of moisture along her stomach and thighs. The two stared at each other as they came together. Bella's mouth parted, falling open in surprise, as her eyes widened and her legs tightened against him. She hadn't expected it to feel so good. Flashes of pleasure ran down her body, and she gripped Emmett's hips, pulling him in closer.

Emmett smiled down at her, watching her tremble under him, his own body quivering above her. The breeze off the lake caressed them, taking their soft moans and carrying them across the field.

He touched her, and loved her, stroking along her breasts, watching as her expression changed from wonder to want and finally ecstasy. He gave in then, unable to hold back any longer and quickened his pace, burying himself deeply inside her. When she called his name, it was like nothing he had ever heard. He felt her tighten around him and moaned into her neck. "Oh.. Bee.." He groaned loudly before he was consumed with his release.

His breath was unsteady as he moved off of her. He drew the blanket around them, pulling her in close. His hands shook a little, because he loved this girl beyond reason. "Are you okay?" he whispered in her ear, stroking her hair back away from her face.

"Yes." She turned to snuggle up against him, her face buried in his chest. "I'm more than okay." He smiled at her words and wrapped her up tight.

-xx-

Edward was truly happy to see Vicki pull up in the driveway. He knew when he saw her that he had made the right decision in asking her to come. He immediately felt the tension from the last week drain out of his body.

He walked outside to meet her, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her to him. She smelled like oranges and he breathed in the familiar scent, basking in the comfort that seeped into his pores. She lightly kissed his lips, and reached to brush a strand of hair off his forehead. He looked down at her quizzically. He wasn't used to such affectionate gestures from her. She just smiled and stepped back, asking for his help.

"I only brought one suitcase - which as you know is a miraculous feat for me - but it is rather heavy."

Vicki looked stunning as usual. Her long, red hair was down. She wore a green tank top and shorts that showed off her long legs. He loved her legs. They were slender, but shapely, and strong. He'd felt the power of Vicki's legs wrapped around him many times, and it was something spectacular.

Edward grabbed the suitcase, holding her hand with his free one and led her inside.

"Edward, it's really good to see you," she said, following him.

"You too."

Esme was waiting for them on the threshold, unable to contain her excitement. She was so happy that Edward had brought a girl home. Now maybe this nonsense with Bella Swan would end.

"Mom, this is Vicki."

Esme smiled broadly, and enfolded Vicki in a hug, looking over her shoulder at Edward. She winked, and nodded her approval. Edward knew she was mostly just happy that he wasn't going to be mooning over Em's girlfriend anymore. And that was okay.

He showed Vicki to the spare bedroom, helping to set up her suitcase. "Mom has a rule about boys and girls not staying in the same room." He smiled at her sheepishly and shrugged.

"That's okay, I don't mind." She stepped closer to him, laying her palm against his cheek. Her head cocked to the side and she studied him intently.

He squirmed under her gaze and laughed nervously. "What?"

"Nothing." She leaned in and brushed her lips against his. "I'm just glad you invited me."

He took her out and introduced her to small town life, showing her the local grocery store, eating at the Diner. She met the rest of his family and everyone seemed to approve. Emmett made a low wolf's whistle after she left the room, jabbing his brother in the side.

"Where the hell have you been hiding her? Have you guys been dating for a while?"

"We live together."

Emmett's mouth fell open in astonishment. "No shit. Why didn't you ever say anything?" Emmett was somewhat hurt that his brother hadn't confided in him. Especially after all he had told Edward about Bella.

"Ummm… I guess it never came up." Edward quickly changed the subject glad Emmett didn't know the real reason he hadn't told him about her. Another girl had been on his mind lately.

Slowly, Edward let himself go, enjoying the time he spent with Vicki. One of the reasons he liked being with her so much was because she made everything so easy and fun. They went home together on Sunday.

Once through their apartment door, they met in a frenzy of longing. She was more passionate than Edward remembered. Her kisses were long and drawn out, her caresses soft and loving. He wondered about the change.

After they were satiated they lay in bed, legs entwined, his hand running along the curve of her hip. She propped her chin up on her hand to stare at him. Her eyes scanned his face, her fingers tickled across his jaw.

"Where have you been?" she whispered, as her thumb outlined his bottom lip.

"What do you mean?"

"You were gone from me. I thought I was losing you, but now you're back." She smiled and bent to place a kiss on his chest, before moving in closer to him. "I thought maybe… you had found someone else?"

Edward sighed, feeling a bit guilty over how he had acted before he left. He had basically ignored her the past few weeks. "I'm sorry. I had a lot on my mind."

She looked up at him, her bright green eyes burning into his. "Edward, I know this - we - started out crazy, but I think…" Her eyes cast down to the bed, before boldly staring into his again. "I think I could love you."

His eyes widened and a smile broke out on his face. He was completely taken by surprise to hear this from her. "Really? I thought this was just… I don't know... fun for you?"

"It started out that way, but when I thought you were leaving me I was very upset. I didn't want you to leave." Her mouth turned down into a frown and her eyes reflected her sadness back to him.

Edward pulled her close, his heart picking up the pace. Being with Vicki would be so easy. They were good together, fun - light. He needed some light in his life. He rubbed his thumb along her mouth before kissing her. Her hand curled along the nape of his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

He hoped he could love her too.

*****Thanks to all the reviewers of the last chapter. I appreciate all your encouraging words. I was a little stuck, but I think I'm on a roll now. **

*****Don't forget that for Bee and Em it is their second time. How many times did it take you to get it right? **

*****Review for treats and tweets. Send me your twitter address so we can talk. I'm jarielynn. **


	6. Chapter 5

*****Thanks to my fab beta jessica0306 and my new and ultra great beta juliegirl118! So glad to be working with both of you to make this story great. **

*****Also thanks to the quick and stealthy twilighted beta nowforruin. **

*****Disclaimer: Not mine. Stephanie would probably shudder at my misplacement of her characters. Eh… **

**Chapter 5 - If You Only Knew**

_Three years later…_

Emmett looked at the clock- four o'clock. Bella's last class was at three so she should be home soon. He opened the oven and surveyed the contents inside. The lasagna had started to bubble; the smells wafted out of the oven and engulfed the kitchen. He stood, reclosing the oven, and smiled. _Not bad for my first try_. He silently thanked his mom for her help over the phone as he put everything together this afternoon. He had wanted to do something special for Bella.

He had found something earlier that scared him - an application to NYU. Was she thinking about moving away? She hadn't said anything to him about it. He felt panicked when he thought of her leaving and he wanted to remind her of what they had together. Maybe it was just that they hadn't seen each other much this month because of her late night study sessions and his football practices.

He set up the table and jumped into the shower. He pulled on a pair of jeans, taking extra special care selecting the right shirt. He chose a light blue cable knit sweater that he knew she liked on him. Back in the living room, he slipped in her favorite CD and sat on the couch. He was excited and squirmed a little in his seat, impatient to see her.

Thirty minutes later he sent his first text. _Hey, babe. Checking in. All ok?_

An hour later he called and left a message on her voice mail. "Okay, I'm starting to worry. Are you alright? Wondering where you're at. Umm… yeah. Just call me."

He tried texting her a few more times. _Call me._ _Worried, please call. _

By eight o'clock he was ready to start calling hospitals. He was frantic and paced the living room worriedly, throwing continuous glances at the clock. He rubbed his forehead and was about to try her friend Angela when he remembered the lasagna still in the oven and cursed loudly.

He pulled out the blackened mess and sat it on the stove. He leaned against the counter, again grabbing his phone. The key clicking in the lock stopped him from dialing the number. His shoulders slumped in relief and a slow smile spread on his face. It was quickly replaced with a dark scowl as warring emotions ran through him - relief that she was okay and anger that she hadn't bothered to call.

Wiping his hands down his jeans, he walked into the hallway, taking a quick survey of her. Nothing broken, no apparent injuries, no tears… _okay so what happened? _Anger laced through him and the words that fell from his lips sounded harsher than he intended.

-xx-

Bella walked up the stairs, her thoughts dwelling on the dismal grade she had received on her term paper. She had worked so hard and it had amounted to nothing. She had been so upset that Angela had called an emergency study session at the library. They exchanged notes and worked through the next chapter. Bella was determined to do better; she would just have to invest more time in studying. This class was tough, but she needed to get through it to reach her goal- law school.

She opened the door slowly, the smell of singed cheese meeting her nostrils, and she briefly wondered if Emmett had burned his grilled cheese again. Tossing her bag against the wall, she began pulling off her coat when she heard him come out of the kitchen. She was about to smile in relief when she took in his angry stance. He looked livid. His face was flushed, his usually light blue eyes were dark and stormy. She stopped, staring at him, her heart fluttering wildly in her chest as she wondered what had made him look so upset.

"Where were you?" Emmett asked, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes piercing into hers.

Bella sighed heavily and her shoulders tensed at the rancor she heard in his voice. "I was at the library. Where do you think I was?"

His eyes narrowed on her and his mouth turned down in a frown. "You said you would come home after class today. When you didn't show, I got worried."

"Well, something came up and I ended up meeting Angela to go over some class notes."

"You couldn't have called?" His eyebrows raised in question as he stared her down, dumbfounded at the attitude that seemed to be radiating off of her. _What is wrong with her?_

"I turned the phone off in the library and forgot to turn it back on. Sorry, I didn't realize I needed to check in." She stared at the wall over his shoulder, her face blank, but inside her stomach churned. Her earlier resentment over the term paper resurfaced. "You know, I'm not like you. I actually want to graduate. I need to study."

"What's that suppose to mean?" He took a step towards her, his anger rising. He cared about his studies, but it just wasn't his whole life. He had a balance, she didn't. Lately nothing else seemed to matter to her… even him.

"Forget it." She walked past him and went into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. She gasped when she walked through the door. The table was set up with candles and she eyed the blackened lasagna sitting on the stovetop. Guilt ripped into her heart as she turned towards him and her shoulders slumped in contrition. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." She wanted to reach out and take his arm but he moved around her, grabbing the lasagna and throwing it in the trash - pan and all.

"If you had shown up you would've known."

He walked past her and into the living room. She followed him, her eyes trained on his back and the tightness of his muscles beneath his shirt. He was tense and she wanted to help him relieve it. She felt badly for reacting the way she had. He was right, she should've called; she just hadn't thought of it.

He stood in front of their desk and slid open the right hand drawer.

_Shit,_ she thought. She knew what he was going to pull out before he even did it.

Emmett took out the folders he found earlier. He threw them on the couch, grimacing and pointing down at them. His heart raced and he choked on his words, wanting to know, but afraid of her answer. "What are these?"

Bella looked down at the college pamphlets and applications she had gotten from NYU. She closed her eyes and swallowed. "It's nothing, just wishful thinking." She picked up the papers from the couch and stacked them neatly back in the drawer. Her dream. _He won't understand. _

"You want to move to New York? I thought you were happy here. I left home to come here with you, now you want to move to New York!" He didn't understand her. Why New York?

"No." The word trembled on her lips. "Of course I'm not going to New York." Her voice reeked with bitterness and he stared at her wondering why this was the first time he had heard it.

"Why have you never talked about this before?"

"Because you wouldn't understand and I don't know what there is to talk about. I'm not going. It was just a thought I had, but I know you wouldn't go with me so… I won't go." She looked up at him through her lashes. She wanted him to go with her. She wanted him to tell her he would follow her anywhere.

"No, I wouldn't. If it was up to me, I'd move back home." He missed his family and friends. He missed the small town he grew up in. The city just wasn't for him and to imagine being in New York... _No. _

Anger laced through her again. "You don't have to go anywhere, Emmett. We'll do whatever _you _want. Okay?" Her throat clogged and her eyes welled with tears. Blindly, she turned around and walked away from him, locking herself in the bathroom. Leaning over the sink, she gave into the sobs. It had been a shit day. First the term paper, and now this awful fight with Em. She stood for a minute to compose herself, willing away the tears.

Turning on the faucet, she splashed some cool water on her face. She dried off, feeling a bit more together and ready to talk to Emmett, except when she walked out into the living room he wasn't there. He wasn't in the kitchen or their bedroom, either.

_Fine_, she could play this game. She called some friends to meet her at the local pub. She needed to relax and if Emmett wasn't going to help her, she'd go somewhere else.

-xx-

Edward sat at the bar nursing this beer. He was down. He kept thinking about the conversation he had with Vicki this morning.

"You don't love me." She glared at him in accusation. "Don't you think I feel that? Why do you stay?"

He stood, staring at the floor unable to argue with her. She was right, he didn't love her. He wanted to. Damn, she was perfect - they had a great time together, she loved him, but his heart just wouldn't cooperate.

A broken whimper brought his eyes up to her face; she was crying, her eyes filled with hurt and sorrow. "There is someone out there who will love me the right way, Edward. I deserve that."

"Vicki…" He didn't like hurting her and he had to work hard against his instinct to comfort her.

She grabbed a bag from their closet and hurriedly threw some clothes inside. Flinging it over her shoulder, she turned to look at him one last time. "I'll come by tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff."

"No." His hand encircled her arm as he tried to stop her. "This is your place. I'll leave." He felt awful. He wanted to hold her and try to make it better, but knew that would only make it worse.

She jerked her arm out of his grasp and pulled herself up. Taking a deep, shuddering breath she said, "I'm staying with Kate and her brother James. I don't want to stay here anymore. Stay if you want… move… I don't care."

Then she was gone and he was alone.

He sat at the bar and contemplated what to do next. He was in his last year of law school. Just one more year and then he would be ready to take the Bar, become a lawyer and work for a firm of his choice, he hoped. He had to stay close to the campus and the apartment allowed him to keep his car in the garage. He just wasn't sure he could handle the rent on his own. He supposed he could go full time at his job, but that would cut into his study time and he did _not _want to do that.

The band started to play a cover of Shinedown's _If You Only Knew_. He turned around, leaning his back against the bar to watch. His eyes roamed from the band and over the crowd that was there.

That's when he saw her.

And it was like the last three years hadn't changed anything.

*****I seem to have acquired some new readers. Where did you all come from? Is someone out there rec'ing my story. Let me know.**

*****I want to thank all my reviewers for your support and validation. You make me so happy!**

*****I want to hear you. What is going on in your heads. We just made a huge jump- three years. Are you happy about this? Sad to see cutsie Em and Bee go or are you ready for the turmoil and angst?**


	7. Chapter 6

*****Disclaimer: Steph's characters but the words are mine.**

*****Thanks to fab betas Jessica0306 and JulieGirl18 and my twilighted beta nowforruin.**

*****Thanks to Kelly Twific Promotions for rec'ing my story. Everybody should go check it out. Link is on my home page. **

**Chapter 6 - Something's Never Change**

When Emmett got back to the apartment and Bella was gone again he was furious. He had only left for a few minutes, taking a walk around the block to clear his head. His anger quickly changed to despair, though, as he remembered their fight. He took the NYU folder back out of Bee's drawer and sat down to look at it. Did she really want to go? Should he be more receptive to her wants?

He would do anything for her. He moved here for her, away from everything he knew, to start over. He got her this apartment when the dorm rooms were too crowded. Luckily, they both had free rides to school with full scholarships, but still - the apartment wasn't cheap.

He worried. Why hadn't she ever told him how she felt? Why hide this desire to move? He sat back on the couch, questioning himself and their relationship. He loved her so very much, he sometimes felt she didn't comprehend it. He hated fighting with her. Maybe he could move to New York for a few years, just until she finished law school. Then maybe she would be ready to settle down somewhere rural, more like home.

He sat in the dark, alone, thinking about her and a possible future with her. He curled up, not wanting to go to bed, afraid he wouldn't hear her come in. Soon he fell asleep.

-xx-

Bella sat at the table with Angela and Ben. Angela was curious as to what had happened between Bella and Emmett, but Bella didn't want to talk about it. She flirted shamelessly with the waiter who accepted her fake ID that said she was a thirty year old named Nina Sanchez. She sat there drinking beer and an occasional shot while she watched the band.

Bella wanted to feel numb. She was tired of fighting. First her professors and peers, now Emmett. Tears filled her eyes as she thought about the hurtful words they said to each other. What was going on with them? She hated that they fought. She loved him. They had shared so much together.

She asked the server for another shot of tequila and Angela stared at her wide-eyed. "You're going to make yourself sick if you don't slow down," she said, shaking her head at Bella's determination to get completely smashed.

"No class tomorrow, no reason not to."

A few more shots and another beer later she was up on the dance floor, laughing and dancing. Her hips swayed back and forth to the beat of the drums. She was free and all her worries were pushed down low where she didn't have to think about them.

Edward watched her as she danced. The way her body moved to the music, her arms swaying back and forth, her ass on display grinding to the beat. His eyes were glued to her, and he was infused with a heat so intense he had to grip tightly to his chair to prevent himself from going to her. She turned towards him, the floor lights enhancing her features, and he swore softly as he took all of her in. Her eyes were closed, her head thrown back, and her hair fell around her like a halo. He swallowed thickly and licked his suddenly dry lips. His gaze ran down her like a drowning man, soaking up the air in front of him. His hands began to sweat and he was as still as a statue. His mind was blank except for the picture before him.

She opened her eyes then and suddenly she was staring at him. His heart raced and he blinked out of his trance to take in a much needed breath. He wondered if it was too late to make a run for it, but she was already on her way over.

"Edward Cullen." She sat on the stool next to him, staring at him, shaking her head. Her finger poked into his chest as she leaned over. "Where have you been hiding yourself? Your brother misses you." Her smile turned into a scowl as she thought of Emmett, and she called the bartender over, ordering another beer.

"Bella Swan," he whispered as he gazed longingly at her face; she was even more gorgeous than he remembered. She was all grown up, her face leaner, cheekbones more prominent, fuller, juicier lips. He was filled with the same want he had first experienced years ago, when he had first seen her. His cock pressed against his pants and he shifted slightly on his stool.

"I've called," he said for lack of anything else better to say. He had been avoiding his brother for the past three years, due mostly in part to this woman sitting next to him. His pulse leapt higher, if it was possible to go any faster, when she licked her lips. He covered his mouth with his hand, stifling the moan that threatened to break free.

"It's alright. I really don't want to talk about that." Her arms waved expressively, sloshing the beer over the cup and down her arm. "Shit," she mumbled, sitting down her beer and wiping her hand across her chest.

"You should dance with me." Bella stood pulling on Edward's hands, trying to coax him to the dance floor. She was already swaying a little, her hips gyrating along to the guitar rhythm playing.

_This is not a good idea_, Edward thought, but allowed her to lead him out to the dance floor anyway.

Bella wasn't thinking of much, just the feeling of freedom, dancing with a good looking man, the music pulsing in her blood. She moved in closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, swaying tantalizingly close.

Edward's eyes widened and his hands held her waist, angling for distance before she discovered just how bad off he was. But it was too late. Her hip rubbed against his cock and he closed his eyes, unable to hold back the groan this time.

Bella giggled, her eyes slits of chocolate as they peered up at him. "You like me." She laughed again. "I remember the way you looked at me. I saw you ogling my boobs when I was in the pool." She looked down at her chest, a pout forming on her lips. "They're bigger now you know." She laughed again and fell against him.

Edward grabbed her arm before she fell over. His heart was already racing at what she was saying, and a sweet heat traveled down his chest, pooling in his groin. She pushed herself in closer to him, her face inches away from his. "Do you still like my boobs, Edward?"

"Uhh…" He was stunned into incoherence. He didn't know what to say. He figured the resounding _hell yes_ echoing through his brain was probably inappropriate.

She was so close to him he could feel every inch of her pressed up against him. He wasn't sure what to do. He should push her away; she was obviously very drunk. He should be angry that she was acting this way - she was his brother's girlfriend. But he didn't and he wasn't.

Instead, his hands had a mind of their own and reached up to pull through her hair. _So soft_. He yearned… God, how he yearned to pull her to him. The urge was like nothing he had ever experienced and he fought hard against it.

Bella sighed at the comfort of warmth surrounding her, of gentle hands in her hair. A faint tugging in her mind alerted her to where she was, who she was with, and she squinted up at Edward. Her thoughts raced. That look was on his face, the one from years ago that still haunted her dreams, and her heart raced and she was afraid. Not of him, but of something else, something she couldn't put her finger on.

She pushed back from him, her mind going back to Emmett, and she was saddened. Her mouth turned down into a frown and suddenly she was crying.

Her heart broke open as she thought of Em. She wanted to go home. She hoped he still wanted her. Her heart hurt at the thought of him rejecting her. She forgot that it was Edward Cullen standing in front of her; he was just a comforting shoulder.

She leaned into Edward, burrowing her face into his neck. Her sobs shook her body and she clung to him, her body molding to his. She sniffled loudly, her snot mingling with her tears on Edward's tee-shirt. His arms wrapped around her waist and he walked her off the dance floor and back up to the bar.

He hated to see her tears and he felt like a total asshole to have taken advantage of her on the dance floor. If she hadn't moved away from him, who knows what he would've done. He was disgusted with himself.

She backed away from him, wiping at her tears, raising the hem of her shirt to dab at her face. The expanse of skin revealed was enough to draw Edward's attention, and he quickly glanced away, staring at the empty space behind her.

She looked at him, her eyes rimmed in black, swollen and tear stained. "Your eyes are so intense. They made me shiver when I first saw that look. They're the same now."

Edward looked at her alarmed, hating himself for being so damn easy to read, but Bella just hummed and turned, walking towards the door.

"Wait! Bella, where are you going?" He followed after her.

"Home. I just want to go home." She swayed and lunged to the right. Edward grabbed her arm and helped to steady her.

"Why not let me drive you?" he asked. She was in no condition to walk, much less drive.

Bella didn't answer. Instead she lurched sideways and bent over the street curb. Horrible retching sounds emitted from her as the alcohol she had consumed came back up and out onto the street.

Edward stood to her side, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. He placed a hand in her hair, pulling it back away from her face and let her puke. He averted his gaze, staring up at the stars, feeling even more like an ass than before.

After she had finished, she began walking down the street again. He followed her until she came to a small brick building where she stopped and dug into her pocket producing a set of keys. She handed them to him. "Apartment five," she muttered.

She leaned heavily on him as he helped her inside. Her eyes were focused on the floor. He didn't need to unlock the door. It was open, and his brother that he hadn't seen in over two years stood there, surprise clearly written on his face.

Bella looked up and saw Emmett standing there, leaning against the doorjamb, arms folded, and burst into tears. She rushed towards him and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, Em. I'm so sorry I screwed up your lasagna and I don't need to move to New York, either. I'm so sorry."

Emmett's hand ran down her hair as he shushed her, pulling her inside. He nodded his head at Edward, gesturing for him to come inside. He continued to hush Bella as he led her into their bedroom. Edward stood in the entryway, listening as Emmett spoke softly to Bella. The soft rustling of clothing and the sound of running water came form the other room. He sat on the couch rehearsing what he was going to say.

Bella was to the point of hysteria when they reached their room. Emmett sat her down gently on the bed, engulfing her in his arms, whispering his reassurances and love until she began to calm down.

"Sit here, baby. I'll be right back." He stepped into the bathroom and fetched a cool wash cloth and a cup of water. Returning to Bee, he sat next to her, gently wiping the cloth along her cheeks and eyes. He kept whispering to her. "It's okay. I know. We're okay, no need to be so upset. I love you."

"You're going to leave and go back home."

"No, I'm not leaving."

"You don't like my boobs anymore."

A short laugh burst from Emmett's lips. "Bee, what ever gave you that impression? I love your boobs."

Finally, she smiled, the tears slowing, her head resting against his chest. He pushed gently on her shoulder, so that she would lie back in the bed. Her eyes were drifting shut and he pulled the blanket around her. He stayed for a minute, watching her sleep before he remembered that Edward was sitting out in the living room. His hands rubbed over his face as he wondered how Edward had ended up walking Bella home.

*****Here we go…. Are you ready? **

*****Next up we have Em and Edwards big brotherly talk. Any questions you want answered?**

*****Thanks to everyone for all those great reviews! Loving it. Now to all you stalkers out there who added me to their favorites list but didn't review I'm asking for a word or a phrase. Why did you add me to your faves? What do you like about the story? Let me know and I will send teasers!**


	8. Chapter 7

_*******_**Thanks to my betas Jessica0306 and JulieGirl from PTB. You two are wonderful. **

****Disclaimer: The characters are Stephanie Meyer's but this plot is mine. **

_**Chapter 7 - Regrets**_

Emmett sat down on the couch next to Edward. His arms rested on his legs and he stared down at his feet that tapped nervously against the floor.

Edward leaned back against the cushions, his arms laid out on either side, his legs stretched out in front of him. He eyed his brother warily and immediately went into an explanation as to why he was with Bella.

"I saw Bella at the bar. She looked pretty drunk." _It's the truth_, he justified to himself. "I didn't think she should walk home by herself."

Emmett ran his hands over his face once and looked over at Edward. "Yeah, she's kind of a mess." He thought of Bee's tears and felt ashamed. She had been so torn up and he felt responsible. "I know why she's upset. It's something we need to work through." He stopped - he didn't want to talk about his relationship with his brother.

"It's been a long time." A million questions were running through Emmett's head; _Where have you been? Why don't you ever call? Why did you disappear? _He started with what he thought would be the easiest one. "Why do you never come around? Mom misses you." _So do I. _He frowned, thinking about that first year without his brother. He had been so hurt and confused when Edward quit returning his calls, quit visiting.

Edward didn't know what to say. He wasn't prepared for this. No well rehearsed speech, no easy lie, would spring to his lips. "It's a bit late for this conversation, Emmett. Maybe we can talk about it some other day." Procrastination was a technique that Edward had gotten very good at when it came to his family. "Besides, I talk to mom and I've been over to see her and dad."

"Just not me," Emmett muttered. "Come over tomorrow night. We can have dinner... talk. Bella will be home. She's important and I really would like for you two to get to know each other... under different circumstances."

Edward's face paled and he grimaced as if in pain. He couldn't even think about the three of them having dinner together without feeling very uncomfortable.

"What the hell?" Emmett's scowl darkened as he took in what looked like disgust on Edward's face. "What the fuck did I do? You drop out of my life for three years and now you sit here like you can't stand to be around me. Why do you hate me?"

Edward stared at his brother as the consequences of his actions stared him in the face. "I don't hate you. I never meant for you to think that." He didn't know what else to do or say. If only he had a good explanation. He couldn't tell him the truth. What could he say?

"What was I suppose to think?"

Edward wanted to be as honest as possible. He didn't want to lie. "Shit…" He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands. "Look, I can't talk about this now. I'm not ready. Let's just say I had a lot going on and I had my reasons. I can't tell you them right now. I don't hate you, Emmett. Don't ever think that. You're my brother; I'll always love you."

"Then, what? You'll come over on Saturday?" Emmett was still confused and unsure, but he wanted to see his brother. He'd missed the closeness they used to share.

"Yeah." Edward would do it. He had to. He owed Emmett some sort of explanation and for God's sake, he did have some self control. He could and would handle his attraction to Bella.

-xx-

Bella awoke the next morning with the worst headache she had ever had in her life. It felt like her head was going to detach from her body. Groaning, she rolled over and a wave of nausea made her clasp her hand over her mouth.

_Why did I drink so much last night? _

She sat up slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. She felt awful as she stood up, and hoped she could make it into the bathroom before the contents of her stomach ended up on the floor. She gripped the white porcelain and moaned. God, how much _had_ she drunk? She tried to remember, but her brain was fuzzy. She had a clear thought of seeing Edward Cullen and she blanched as flashes of their conversation filtered into her conscious. Had she really asked him if he liked her boobs? She groaned again, her face turning bright red.

Jesus, what else had she said? What did she do? How did she get home? She stood, brushed her teeth and turned towards the shower. The hot water cleared her head a little, but she still had a lot of black holes in her recollection of the prior nights events. When she got out and stepped into the bedroom, Emmett was sitting on the bed.

"How you feeling?"

"Like something crawled inside me and died." Her lips twisted in a self-depreciating grimace and she looked at Em carefully, afraid of what he thought about her.

"I made some coffee." He spoke softly, trying to gauge her state of mind. Yesterday had been hard on them both and he felt he had some damage control to do. He stood and walked over to her, slipping his hand behind her head. Gently, he touched her lips with his, before pulling away and walking out to the kitchen.

She got dressed quickly and went out join him. He was sitting at the table reading his Business Communications text book. She stood for a minute, watching as his brow furrowed in concentration. While he jotted down notes, Bella thought of how much Emmett wanted to open his own shop - a place where he could fiddle with cars to his heart's content. _He wouldn't be able to do that in New York_. A small frown crossed her lips, before she quickly wiped it away and went to grab a cup of coffee_. _

Emmett looked up when Bee walked into the room. He stopped his writing to watch her as she poured herself a drink and sat down across from him. Determined, he closed his book and reached across the table, taking her hand in his.

"A lot happened yesterday," he began, then stopped to clear the lump out of his throat. "I learned something about you, when I thought I knew everything."

She looked at him, puzzled. He _did_ know her.

"Why haven't you ever mentioned your desire to go to New York? I knew you hated Forks. It's why we decided to go to Washington University and move to Seattle, but I didn't know you were interested in going somewhere else." His thumb rubbed along the back of her hand, as he earnestly searched her face for an answer.

"It was just something I was playing around with. I… I don't want to leave you, Em. I just thought it would be exciting. There's so much going on there, you know? It's the heart of everything." A light began to shine in her eyes and Emmett caught it, and a sharp pain twisted in his heart.

"NYU is amazing and the city is so alive. There's Broadway and Central Park, and Manhattan..." Her voice trailed off as she realized what she was doing, how she must sound.

"It sounds like more than just something you've been playing around with, Bee. You should go. We could put some funds together so you could go see things for yourself. Maybe take a mini-vacation?" He'd been thinking about this all morning. Maybe if she went and it wasn't all she thought it would be, she would change her mind and be happier here.

Her face lit up and she smiled, her excitement over the idea written plainly on her face. "You'll go with me?" she asked. It could change things, if he went. She could show him what she sees - maybe then he would want to move along with her.

He nodded and smiled back at her. If for no other reason, at least they would have some time away together. It could be nice.

-xx-

Bella didn't stop thinking about it all day, not even when Emmett told her Edward was coming for dinner. She had a momentary bout of nervousness, wondering how she had acted last night. However, she was too excited about the prospect of going to New York to let it bother her too much. That was, until she talked to Angela.

"I was so worried about you. One minute you're dancing, the next you were gone. Bella, you didn't go home with that guy, did you?" Angela had been worried about her friend. She wanted to call her, but was afraid who would pick up the phone.

"What guy?" Bella asked, feigning stupidity.

"The guy you were hanging all over on the dance floor. The one with the messy red hair and long legs. The hot guy… the one you spent most of the evening with. Ring any bells?"

"I was hanging all over him?" _Oh, no._ Was it worse than she had thought?

"Uh… yeah! You don't remember?" Angela let out a disbelieving laugh. "You're just lucky Emmett never showed up. He would've killed that guy and you would've had a lot of explaining to do."

"Damn, Angela. That was Em's brother Edward."

"What? No way." Angela thought of the way the guy had been looking at Bella. "What?"

"Yeah, he walked me home. I don't remember much. How much did I drink anyway?"

"I lost count, too much obviously."

"Oh my God."

"What?"

"He's coming to dinner tonight. I'm so embarrassed. How can I look at him again after I behaved that way? Crap, he must be mortified."

Angela's laugh cut off Bella's rant. "He really didn't seem to mind."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean for someone who has a brother dating you, the guy sure didn't seem too upset about your roving hands. Actually, he seemed to like it."

It was Bella's turn to shout now. "What?"

"I'm just saying. He looked like he wanted to throw you over a bar stool and have his way with you."

"You're wrong." But Bella knew Ang was right. She remembered now. The intensity in Edward's eyes, the feel of his hands in her hair. "Damn…" she breathed. "What am I going to do? He's Em's brother! What do I do?"

"Pretend like you never talked to me, remain oblivious. Blame it on the alcohol. If you don't remember, it never happened, right?"

It sounded like good advice to Bella.

After she got off the phone with Angela she ran out to the grocery store to pick up supplies for dinner. Her thoughts kept going back to last night, to the feel of Edward against her when she danced. She had liked it. _What is wrong with me? To even think about another guy like that is wrong. _It must have been the alcohol. She only wanted Emmett. He was the only man she had ever wanted.

She absent-mindedly picked a tomato, not really paying any attention to it until it compressed in her grasp, the juice squirting out all over her top and down her arm. She stared at the tomato like it was some sort of omen. A feeling of dread settled in her stomach as nausea once again made her clasp her hand to her mouth. Her heart pounded and she looked around quickly. Seeing no one in sight, she sat it back down, left her cart in the center of the aisle, and ran out the door.

They would have pizza for dinner.

-xx-

Edward stood in front of the door, his hand poised to knock, but something was stopping him - fear, guilt. In his other hand he held a paper bag full of Heineken. He figured he might need a few beers to make it through the night.

Finally, swallowing down his nervousness, he knocked. Smiling and calm, he was ready when Bella opened the door.

"Hi," he said with more bravado than he felt.

"Hello," she said, as a disturbing flutter ran through her stomach.

Behind her, Emmett stood, looking over Bella's shoulder and noticing Edward's awkward posture and smile. He chalked it up to tension for the upcoming evening and quickly strode forward to reintroduce his girl to his brother.

***** Just a little step- but things are starting to happen now. With dinner in the next chapter, what do you hope to see? **

*****Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chap I appreciate it and love you! Thanks to everyone who is reading this I hope I can keep you interested in seeing what's going to happen next. **


	9. Chapter 8

_***_**Thank you to my super beta's JulieGirl and Jessica0306. **

*****A big thanks to Nowforruin, my twilighted beta for her super quickness and encouragement of my story.**

*****Disclaimer - The characters are Stephanie's, she is why we love Edward, Bella, and Emmett. But this story is mine. **

_**Chapter 8 - Pizza with a side of Deception**_

Bella took the beer from Edward, offering her thanks, and walked into the kitchen. She stood in front of the refrigerator, her hand pressed against her abdomen. Taking in a deep breath, she silently encouraged herself that she could get through this. _Just pretend like nothing happened. _She turned to go back out to the living room where she could hear Edward and Emmett talking. Emmett's voice was light, happy. Her mouth turned up a little. He really had missed his brother and she hoped that maybe this could be a reunion for them, leading to more time together in the future. If she could just get past last night's stupidity. She handed the guys each a beer and sat on the couch next to Emmett.

Emmett reached over and took Bee's hand. She looked nervous and he wanted to reassure her. She always got so nervous when meeting new people. He leaned in to give her a quick peck on the lips and grinned as he watched the blush creep up through her cheeks.

Edward looked down at the floor, his leg shaking, and counted to ten before looking back up again. He was going to be okay, or so he kept telling himself.

The doorbell rang and Bella jumped up, glad for the distraction. "I hope you don't mind pizza, Edward. I didn't get to the grocer's as planned."

"Depends on what's on it." He looked up at Bella, his smile widening so that the corners of his eyes crinkled. It was infectious and she smiled too.

"Anchovies and jalapeño peppers," she teased.

Emmett snorted and gave Bee a little shove with his foot. Bella winked down at him and went to go get the pizza. While she was away she took a minute to calm herself. Edward seemed fine; he wasn't acting weird or anything, so maybe Angela was exaggerating. She took a few deep breaths while paying the pizza guy.

Emmett watched Bee walk away and smiled over at Edward. "She's amazing."

Edward nodded in agreement, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"You know, she's taking pre-law classes. She wants to be a lawyer. You're in law school, right?" Edward choked on his beer. He coughed and sputtered as images of Bella in a courtroom flooded his mind.

_Her hair was pulled up, but random strands escaped to surround her face. The skirt she wore rode up her thigh as she sat in the chair opposite him. She looked over at him, a delicious smile on her face, her voice soft and pouty, "He's guilty." _

Emmett laughed, bringing Edward out of his fantasy. "Having some trouble there?"

_More than he knows_, Edward thought, trying desperately to forget the image.

They heard Bella call them and both stood. Edward took another drink of beer. _Jesus, get it together. Just sit and eat and quit thinking so damn much. _

Edward sat at the table, his gaze landing on Bella and all his "control" went to shit. He couldn't stop watching her. He wanted her so bad that he could feel it in the pit of his stomach. He loved the way her fingers curled around the beer bottle, how her lips wrapped around it, how her throat moved as she swallowed, and the way her tongue came out to catch the drops of beer that were left behind on her lips.

He wanted to get up, grab her and press her against himself the way she had been last night. He could still feel her hands in his hair, even now while her fingers were playing along Emmett's neck. He watched as Emmett smiled and turned to look at her, bending down to kiss her. Seeing her lips on Emmett's filled Edward with jealousy. _He_ wanted her.

He concentrated on the pizza in front of him, picking it up and taking a bite. He heard Emmett say his name and looked up at him. Emmett was staring at him expectantly. Edward had no idea what he had said.

"Did you want another beer? Bella was going to get us one."

"Yeah, thanks."

Both Edward and Emmett watched as Bella walked away.

Emmett was smiling, thinking how sweet she was being and glad everything seemed to be going good so far. He was relaxing along with the night. There were still some things he and Edward needed to talk about, but he felt confident that all issues could be resolved. It was just nice having Edward here.

Edward stared at Bella's ass as she walked away, watching it sway tantalizingly in front of him. His dick pressed against his jeans and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. _Fuck fuck fuck… _He wasn't going to make it through the night. He was going to do something stupid, he could feel it. He glanced at Emmett, relieved to see he wasn't paying any attention to him.

He stood abruptly, excusing himself, and made his way to the bathroom. Once inside, he leaned against the sink. He needed to get it together. He couldn't keep doing this. He thought of Emmett's face if he saw him ogling his girlfriend. Would he be hurt? Angry? Amused? _Fuck… _He just wanted to go home.

He thought of any unsavory image he could, anything to deflate the pressure in his pants.

-xx-

Back in the dining room, Emmett was talking quietly to Bella. "I want to ask him why he was gone so long, but I don't know how to bring it up. I don't think he wants to talk about it," Emmett confided in Bee, looking for some advice.

Bella rubbed her hand along the back of his neck, soothing him with her touch. "Why not just relax through dinner and afterwards I can make some lame excuse to leave you guys alone. You can talk to him then." Her fingers massaged away the tension in his neck. "Just ask him, baby. It'll be alright. He owes you an explanation. I'm sure he knows that."

Edward walked back into the room, his eyes landing on them. He laughed a little, watching the affectionate gesture Bella was giving Emmett. Shaking his head, he sat back down and took another drink of his beer. At this rate, he'd be drunk within the next hour.

Bella's hands fell from Emmett's neck. She had a sudden recollection of how Edward's hair felt under her fingers. She scowled and shook the thought off before helping herself to another slice of pizza. She didn't think she would be able to eat much, but at least it gave her something to do.

"You've been to New York City, haven't you?" Emmett asked Edward. "Bee and I are going to take a trip there. I was thinking over spring break."

Edward's eyes widened and he cocked his eyebrow at Emmett. "You're going to New York?" Edward loved New York. He had spent a semester there last year. He had wanted to stay, but at the time he was with Vicki and they had missed each other, so he came home.

"Yeah, Bee wants to see New York." Emmett reached under the table giving Bee's hand a little squeeze.

Bella squeezed back, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"You'll love it," Edward said, his hand clenching around his bottle when she blushed. _This is ridiculous_. "It's truly amazing." He focused on his last trip to New York, getting lost in the memories. "If possible, you should go see a show while there. I saw Memphis when I went last year. It was incredible. Broadway is just… it's hard to describe really. You get this sense you're in another world."

"Oh! I really want to see that. I've been to a few shows here in Seattle, but I know Broadway would be so much better. To walk the street, see the marquis. I can't wait." Bella's eyes started to shine again; just the thought of attending a Broadway show was enough to bring her excitement over the trip back to the surface.

Edward was glad to have something to talk about, something to take his mind off the glow in her eyes, the smile on her face, the way her mouth moved as she talked… _Damn!_

"There are so many places you should go. The Met is one of my favorites. I could suggest a few good restaurants and a nice place to stay while there."

Bella giggled and sat forward, her elbows on the table as she focused completely on Edward and his words. "The Met," she said reverently. "Oh my God. The art… Oh and of course the top of the Empire State Building. I've wanted to go up there ever since I saw _Sleepless in Seattle _as a kid."

Edward and Emmett were enthralled. She was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. Her face was flushed with her excitement. She was leaning over the table, and her hair hung down along her shoulders, haloing her.

Even though it was the conversation Bella was so engrossed in, Edward couldn't help but think she was leaning in to him. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. The words were spilling from his lips, telling her everything he knew of New York, anything to keep her looking at him that way.

Emmett sat quietly, watching her. His heartbeat sped up a little and he reached out to touch her hair, pulling it so that it swung back over her shoulders. She turned to look at him, noting the look of want in his eyes and smiled softly, her eyebrow arching in question. His hand ran down her arm, taking her hand in his. She leaned over and gave him a short peck on the lips before turning back to their guest and continuing the conversation.

"You could tell us where to go? That would be so nice. It's such a big city and I don't want to miss anything."

Edward did his best to ignore the looks and touches that happened occasionally between the two. He discussed different restaurants and shops they had to visit while there. His eyes were glued to Bella when she laughed at the idea of window shopping at Tiffany's.

They finished the last piece of pizza before Bella realized that Emmett hadn't said anything in awhile. She glanced over at him and he smiled. "Em, we totally got caught up in our talk. Isn't there anything you want to see in New York? You can't just be going for me."

Emmett gave her hand a squeeze. "That's exactly why I'm going. Though I guess we could go see the Statue of Liberty while were there."

Edward pulled his eyes away from her to look over at his brother. One hand was wrapped around Bella's and his other was pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Jealousy ripped through him and he spoke, anxious to get Bella's attention again.

"Emmett tells me you're taking pre-law classes right now. I'm in my last year of law school."

Bella turned to gaze at him again and he smiled. "Really? Did you take all the classes here?"

Edward nodded, glad to have regained her attention. He felt a small pang of guilt, but shoved it aside. "I bet I had some of the same professors you have. If you're having any problems with anything, maybe I can help."

Bella was distracted by Emmett shifting in his chair and she glanced over at him. He was fiddling with his beer bottle, his face bored. She laughed. "I think we are boring Em with that talk. Maybe we can talk more about it another time."

She stood, picking up the empty plates and taking them into the kitchen. Emmett stood and motioned towards the living room.

"I'm glad you and Bee get along so well. Not like me and Vicki, huh?" Emmett started right out. He wanted to get Edward to talk about his time away. He'd always blamed it on Vicki and he wanted to see if it was true. "I never really got the chance to know her since you never brought her over after that first time."

Edward was glad Emmett brought up Vicki; he had already decided to use her as the excuse for his absence. He absolved himself of any guilt by rationalizing the fact that she was no longer around and would never know.

"She was difficult." The lie fell smoothly from his lips. "She wanted me to herself. She didn't like sharing me with anyone, even my family. I was able to get away a few times to see mom, but it was tough. I thought I loved her so I put up with it. After awhile though, I couldn't do it anymore. She moved out a couple weeks ago."

Emmett nodded. "I always thought it had to have something to do with her. But couldn't you have at least called, let me know what was going on?"

Edward shifted uncomfortably as another lie formed in his mind. "I was embarrassed. I didn't want anyone to know."

"She's gone for good now?'

"Yeah, she won't be coming back." At least that was true.

Bella walked into the living room and sat next to Emmett. Her hand rested lightly on his thigh, and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

Edward felt sick to his stomach from the lies, the guilt, and the want that was still making its presence known. He was ready to go home.

As Edward left, Emmett invited him over for poker the following Sunday. Jasper was coming over along with another friend of theirs. They needed a fifth player. Edward accepted but only after finding out that Bella was not going to be there. He didn't think he could handle another night like tonight.

Edward stood outside the closed door, his body in turmoil. Lust riddled him, slamming him with guilt and disgust.

When he got home, he stood in the shower thinking about her. He pictured her flushed face and wide eyes as she had stared at him. His hand ran along his length as he thought of her lips on the beer bottle. The image shifted and her lips were on him. He groaned aloud in the shower and his hand moving faster. He came imagining her warm tongue stroking over him.

Afterward, he lay in his bed and thought about her some more. He wanted her. Tonight they had talked and he grew to know her more. He liked her. She was funny and smart. He was afraid of what was happening to him. He turned on his side, staring out into the darkness, alone.

*****Gasp! So… what'd you think? Edward is hurting, Emmett is clueless, and Bella is... Confused? Tell me your thoughts. Hit that review button.**

*****I have gotten loads of new readers. I had two reviewers tell me the story was rec'd by xrxdanixrx author of Hate Me. How wonderful! Thank you so much. I will be sure to check out this story. Were the rest of you rec'd by her or someone else? Leave me some words. **

*****There were a few late reviews I didn't get to reply to and I apologize, I always reply! But I was trying to finish this.. And I was a little caught up in this story- Under The Apple Tree. You might have heard of it. **** Anyway, I promise to reply in the future and I really do appreciate you all. *Hugs***


	10. Chapter 9

_*******_**Thanks to my awesome betas JulieGirl and Jessica0306. They were quick getting this back to me! And allowing me to post it tonight! **

*****Disclaimer - The boys and the Volvo belong to Stephanie. The Mustang, the pool, and the poker? They're mine. **

_**Chapter 9 - Boys, Pool, and Poker**_

Emmett finished ringing up the last customer and walked over to Jake. He was leaning over an old, red Ford pickup.

Jake and Emmett had worked together at Black's Garage for the last year. Emmett loved the job. Fixing cars didn't feel like real work to him; he liked it too much.

"Any luck?"

Jake shook his head, frowning down at the engine. "Not this time. I'm afraid the old girl's finally gone."

"Damn," Emmett muttered, leaning over to take a look. "Mrs. Hale is going to be heartbroken." Emmett hated when they lost one, especially when it meant as much to someone as this one did to Clara Hale.

"I'll call her," he told Jake. He was a lot better at delivering bad news than Jake was and he knew Clara well since she was a repeat customer to the shop.

He walked back to the desk, sighing before picking up the phone and making the call. As predicted, Clara took the news hard. The truck had been her husband's, who has been gone now for two years, and she had clung to it like a lifeline.

Emmett went outside for a breath of fresh air, feeling guilty and wishing he had the money to just replace the damn engine himself. He sipped on his Coke as he watched a familiar looking silver Volvo pull into the parking lot.

Edward got out of his car and looked around at the building. _What am I doing here? _He thought. The car needed some work and he wanted to talk to Emmett, away from any distractions - just one on one with his brother.

"You still have that piece of crap?" Emmett's voice rang out from across the lot.

Edward turned to look at him, smirking and cocking his eyebrow. "Fuck you. I didn't get it that long ago." Actually, Edward had been sixteen when his dad pulled this car into their driveway as a birthday present.

"It wasn't new then." Emmett cracked a smile and walked up closer to his brother.

"So what? How old's that bucket you're driving?" Edward pointed to the rust colored Mustang sitting by the garage door.

"That car's a classic, a work in progress. You just wait. A few more months and she'll be perfect." He walked around Edward, his hand running up the side of the Volvo. "So, what brings you here?"

"It's running like shit. I have no idea what's wrong with it."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "You never could tell a carburetor from a dipstick," he joked.

"Yeah, well do you know the difference between an appeal and an acquittal?" Edward challenged.

Emmett smirked, nodding his head. "Acquittal - dismissed charge or being found not guilty. Appeal - request for review of a case. "

Edward glanced over at him, astonished. "Fuck..."

"I have a girl studying law, jackass. Of course I know a little. Ask me a harder one next time."

Emmett reached in the car to pop the hood and missed the tightening of Edward's jaw as he clenched his teeth at the mere mention of _her_. Edward stood stiffly by while Emmett checked out his car. The joviality he had felt before, the easiness of talking to his brother had vanished.

After giving the car a good appraisal, Emmett let Edward know what was going on and how much it would cost to be repaired. "Should only take a couple days. I'm about to get out of here. Wanna go for a beer?"

Edward rolled his shoulders to release the tension, thinking that a beer sounded really good right then. "Sure."

-xx-

The beer was cold and felt good sliding down Edward's parched throat. He sat next to Emmett at the bar that was just down the street from the garage. The bartender, Tanya, stood close by and kept flicking her eyes over him appreciatively.

"I think she's interested. Why not get her number? She's hot and a real sweetheart." Emmett had known Tanya for awhile now and liked her. She was a nice girl and he thought it would be great if Edward started dating her.

Edward had noticed the girl - it was hard not too. She had smiled at him a few times, and flirted some while getting his drink. He didn't know if it was worth pursuing. Would it be pointless to try and go out with another woman after his dismal failure with Vicki? Plus there was nothing pulling him to her. He felt no _need_ to talk to her. _Not like with Bella_. He shook his head and stared down at his beer, admonishing his own wayward thoughts.

Emmett shook his head and wondered if maybe Edward was still hung up on Vicki. He could think of no better way to get over that shit than to spend some time with someone like Tanya. Apparently though, his brother did not feel the same. He decided to give the guy a break and pointed over at the pool tables. "Pool?"

Edward stood and made his way over to the tables, glad to get away from the bar for a bit.

-xx-

"You're an asshole." Emmet scowled darkly at Edward as the eight ball sunk in the corner pocket.

Edward snickered and stared across the table at his brother. "And you always hated to lose."

"I never lost. You must've gained skills over the last few years."

"Or maybe I just quit letting you win." Edward grinned down at the table and began racking up the balls for another game.

"No way." Emmett's mouth dropped open and he narrowed his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. No way had Edward let him win. No way!

"You were a fucking whiny ass. I let you win so I wouldn't have to listen to it." Edward took another sip of his beer before looking mockingly at his brother once again.

Emmett's face darkened as he leaned over the table, muttering, "No freebies. I'll show you."

Three games later they were tied two to two and ready to call it a night. Emmett stopped drinking during the second game as he figured he'd be the one driving home. "Guess I'll be driving you home."

Edward just grinned.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Emmett glanced at the clock on the wall. "Shit, I better call Bee. She's probably wondering where the hell I am. I usually stop by for a beer with Jake, but we never stay out this late." Pulling out his cell, Emmett quickly dialed Bee's number, relieved when she answered on the first ring.

Edward had been so relaxed that he hadn't even thought about her, but as soon as Emmett said her name, _Bee_, a jolt shot down his spine. His smile fell, and he stepped back, trying like hell to not listen in to their conversation. He sat on a nearby stool and willed himself to not feel anything.

"She lost track of time while studying for some damn test. She has this professor that's really giving her a hard time - a real asshole." Emmett noted the change in Edward right away. His smile was gone, replaced with a severe grimace and he sat rigidly in the chair while staring hard at the floor. Emmett stepped up and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you okay? Was it something I said?"

Edward started, and looked up. He had been lost in thoughts of the girl again. His need for her pulsed inside him and he felt sick with want. He needed something to replace it, something to make him forget. Just then the bartender, Tanya, caught his eye. She smiled at him brightly when he made eye contact with her and he felt a little lighter.

"Maybe I won't need that ride after all," he said to Emmett before walking over to the bar and taking a seat.

Emmett drove home a bit later wondering about Edward's sudden mood change and the change of heart towards Tanya. Of course, he knew it had nothing to do with Edward's heart. He snickered as he thought of the way Tanya was eyeing Edward like a piece of meat. Emmett was all for it if it helped him get over Vicki.

-xx-

"This is bullshit," Emmett muttered, staring down at his totally useless hand. He glanced across the table, eyeing Edward's growing pile of cash enviously.

Edward smiled over his cards at Emmett. "What's the matter, another bad hand?"

Emmett scowled and quickly tried to compose his face into an indifferent mask. It was no use, he was a terrible bluffer and Edward knew the truth. Emmet sucked at poker.

The boys were joined for the game by Emmett's friend Jake and their sister's boyfriend, Jasper. Alice had stopped by briefly to speak with Edward. Alice had been another casualty of Edward's disappearance and the two were no longer close.

Jake laughed as he laid his cards on the table, face down. "I fold."

Edward smirked and followed him. "Full house."

Jasper and Emmett yelled and threw their cards down on the table. Emmett pushed back and stood, scowling and mumbling under his breath. He hated losing and was sulking as he stalked into the kitchen to get more beer.

"Going off to pout?" Edward yelled after him, knowing it would piss him off even more.

"Fuck you! I'm getting a beer." He shook his head, grabbed a few beers and headed back to the table.

"You a card shark now, Edward?" Jasper asked while shuffling the cards for the next game. "When'd you learn to play poker?"

"Vicki taught me. She could've played professionally if she wanted to." Edward took a swig of beer. Every time he thought of Vicki, he felt guilty for how he'd left, how he'd treated her, and the lies he told about her.

Emmett stood in the doorway and watched the frown that crossed Edward's face when he mentioned that bitch's name. He hated that she could still affect Edward like that and wished he could just get over her. "You really need to move on. That bitch is no longer here to strap you down."

Edward tensed and his voice sliced through the air, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and stare at him. "Don't call her that." He couldn't let Emmett talk bad about her, even if it was his fault that Emmett thought those things. In reality, Vicki had always been sweet and cared for him. He was the asshole in that relationship.

"Why not? I still don't get why you let her tell you what to do. You know, letting a woman get between you and your family is just wrong."

"You're right. Why the hell do you think I stayed away?" Edward responded before putting thought to his words and groaned when he realized what he'd said.

Emmett look at him puzzled and Edward just shook his head, rubbing his hand across his forehead. "You have no idea."

Jasper spoke up, hoping to break the suddenly tense atmosphere. "I'm going to ask Alice to marry me."

The three boys turned to stare at him as a sheepish smile spread across Jasper's face. "I haven't asked her yet, so don't give it away. I know you and your big mouth, Emmett - keep a secret for once.

The room relaxed as the boys teased Jasper on being chained down. He laughed along good naturedly and a new game started.

Edward still felt angry at Emmett's disparaging of Vicki, as irrational as it may be. He was the one who led Emmett to believe that Vicki had been a possessive and jealous shrew, but Emmett's statement about not letting a woman come between them hit too close to the mark. He found himself thinking about Bella again and he wondered when she was due home. To his shame, he hoped he would get to see her.

A few beers later and Edward's thoughts were free of anything distressing. When it was time to go home, he was in no shape to drive. He wobbled on his feet and leaned against the wall. It had been a long time since he had gotten this drunk and he blinked his eyes as he tried to focus on the wall in front of him.

"You're toasted. Crash on the couch." Emmett threw an extra pillow and blanket on the sofa and Edward collapsed on it immediately. He left one foot on the floor to keep the room from spinning and closed his eyes, passing out.

Emmett took one last look at his brother before snickering at the leg hanging off the couch. He trudged into his room, ready to sleep. Glancing at the clock, he grabbed the phone to call Bee.

She answered on the second ring, her voice light and giggly. "Hey, baby. I'm still with Ang. I should be home in a little bit. We're watching a movie."

"I'm crashing, so tired. Will see ya later. Love you." Emmett hung up and fell across the bed, a giant, snoring heap of humanity.

*****I know you are getting impatient for some Bella and Edward interaction? Aren't you? **** I know because so am I.. but we need these boys to show us how they interact, to see how they feel about each other. And there are a few other teeny tiny hints in there. Did anyone catch them? You can mention them in your reviews, but I'm not going to tell you if your right or not. Whahahahaahh! **

*****Once again I need to bless all those readers out there who are pimping my story. Every time I read a review from someone letting me know they got it as a rec, I am overjoyed. **

*****I tried to answer all the reviews this time. I got a bit confused and felt like I may be doing it twice in hopes of not leaving anyone out. **

*****One more thing- if your checking my blog I know you weren't expecting this chapter. Look at my last post as a teaser for the next chapter.. This one just came to me and the boys were pretty insistent about being heard, so….**


	11. Chapter 10

*****I have to thank my betas JulieGirl and Jessica0306. **

*****Usual Disclaimer- I don't own anything relating to Twlight. If I did I would be in LA/ England or wherever the hell Rob is. ;)**

_**Chapter 10 - Things You Aren't Meant to Hear**_

The room was dark and warm as Bella walked in from outside. The cold night air followed her in and a sense of dread sent a chill up her spine. _Was someone there? _

"Hello?" she called out, her voice trembling.

There was no answer and she carefully stepped forward, noticing a lone figure lying on the couch. "Emmett?" she called. She swallowed nervously and reached for the light switch. The bright glare of the light briefly blinded her. She jumped slightly as her eyes adjusted. _No, not Emmett_.

"Edward? Damn it! Why didn't you say something? You scared the crap out of me." She scowled at the man as he sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Didn't hear you. Emmett said I could crash on the couch." His sleepy eyes focused on her, taking in her blue shirt and jeans. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. "You look pretty."

She flushed a cute shade of pink and rolled her eyes at him. "You sound surprised." Making her way into the kitchen, she threw her book bag on the floor and laid her jacket over a nearby chair.

He watched her walk by him and stood up, compelled to go after her. He was still a little woozy and had to lean against the wall for a second to get his bearings. Once he felt he had it under control, he followed her into the kitchen. He sat down at the kitchen counter and rested his chin against his hand as he watched her. She was making a sandwich and his pulse picked up when she leaned over the counter to grab the bread. His mouth fell open at the display in front of him and he couldn't help but stare. It was beautiful, round and tight, perfect. "You have a really nice ass."

She turned, her eyes wide and her mouth turned up in a slight smile. "What did you just say?"

Edward gaped at her. Had he said that out loud? "Uhhhhh… I… shit. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, it's just..." He stumbled over his words, feeling like a complete idiot.

"That's what I thought." She took a bite of her sandwich and stood in front of him, contemplating. "Well, thanks." Bella shrugged her shoulders and opened the refrigerator to pull out the milk. She was a little taken aback by the comment, but chose to let it go. What the hell else was could she do, after all?

"Want some?" she asked, her voice muffled from another bite.

He nodded, thinking he should probably get some food in his stomach to counteract the alcohol. He really didn't need to say anything else that stupid.

Bella hurriedly threw a sandwich together for him, pushing a glass of milk his way. He sat and stared at the sandwich awhile before picking it up to eat. They stood quietly, staring at one another across the counter as they ate.

He gazed at her face. Her eyes were such a deep, rich brown. He wanted to get lost in them, and was only able to pull himself away when she took another bite of her sandwich. Her pink, full lips drew his attention as they puckered slightly while she chewed. He licked his lips as he watched her, his desire growing.

Bella stared at him, watching his eyes move over her, and the way he licked his lips as he stared at her mouth. Her heart slammed in her chest and she began to sweat nervously.

The silence between them was deafening and they each felt that any second the room was going to implode.

"How was class?" he blurted, trying to fill the empty space. Trying to take his thoughts away from the path they were on; trying to keep his eyes away from the curves of her body.

Bella relaxed as an easy topic was given. "Professor Banner is hard as nails. I don't think I'll ever get it all down. How did you do it? I feel like I don't have enough time to breathe, much less study. And forget about having a life…" Her voice trailed off as she thought about Emmett sleeping in the other room. She had been so busy lately they had been unable to spend barely anytime together. Her gaze shifted out toward the bedroom and she gave a soft sigh.

Edward took in her sullen expression as her gaze drifted away from him. "Yeah, it's tough, but so worth it. Just wait until you get to go to your first case." His voice held the passion he felt for his chosen profession.

Bella felt the same passion well within her and smiled. "God, I can't wait." Shoving the last bite of sandwich into her mouth, she turned to put her glass in the sink.

"If you need any help with anything, I'd be glad to lend a hand." He felt the need to help her. _Yeah right, you just want to see her again. _Shaking his head at the thought, he drank the rest of his milk and stood. He had to pass her to get to the sink and he stood awkwardly looking at the sink, then at Bella. He sighed and walked around the counter, brushing against her arm. "Fuck…" he muttered as desire ripped through him. Standing so close to her he could smell her, and the need to reach out and touch her skin was almost unbearable. He put his glass in the sink and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Well, back to the couch." Slowly, he backed away from her, his eyes never leaving her face until she was no longer in his line of vision.

Bella stood in the kitchen as he walked out, finally letting out her breath when he was out of sight. _What the hell was that? _She wondered.

Giving her body a good shake, she turned out the lights and headed to her room. "Goodnight, Edward," she whispered as she stood in the hall, facing the couch where she could see him sprawled out.

"Goodnight, Bella." Edward swallowed hard and turned on the couch, his ears attuned to her footsteps as they shuffled down the hall. He listened as she turned the knob to the room she shared with his brother. He lay on the couch listening to the soft words that came from the bedroom. Unbidden, a feeling of pure jealousy shot through him. Fisting his hands into the blanket spread over him, he willed it away. _What the hell am I thinking? She's Emmett's. _

Rolling on his side, facing the back of the couch, he tucked the pillow firmly around his ears, blocking out all sight and sound. Slowly, he fell asleep.

Bella stood at the foot of the bed gazing down at her boyfriend. She tapped his foot lightly, calling his name. She was met with loud snores and a muffled grunt as he turned on his other side. "Emmett?" She tried again.

Disappointed, she slipped out of her clothes, sliding on a t-shirt and crawling into bed. Sighing softly, she stared at the wall, hoping she would fall asleep soon, but her mind wouldn't let her. She couldn't stop thinking about what just happened in the kitchen. Was she making too much of it? What really had happened? So he thought she had a nice ass, she guessed she did, so it was okay for him to say it… wasn't it?

The next morning, she awoke to the feeling of being watched. Slowly, she opened her eyes to peer up at Emmett as he leaned over her.

"Good morning." He smiled, his dimples deepening as he brushed her cheek lightly with his thumb.

She smiled up at him. "Hi." She felt timid, almost shy around him. It had been awhile since they had been together.

He was so happy to wake up to her this morning. He missed her. He could barely contain himself as he bent to kiss her; every thought in his mind was consumed by her. His heart began to pound as she responded to him, her soft lips opening beneath his. God, she tasted good. His hand trailed up her leg, stroking the soft skin of her thigh. He groaned when her soft hand curled around his neck, pulling him closer. He deepened the kiss, his tongue delving into her mouth, his hands pulling along her panties. "Bella," he breathed against her lips.

Her eyes opened and looked up at him. His face was so open, full of adoration and her heart filled with his love. She sighed in contentment, feeling safe and warm in his arms. She adjusted her hips so that he could slide her panties down, a murmur of need now rising in her throat.

He pressed himself against her, unable to wait - it had been too long. His mouth placed kisses along her throat and shoulder. As he slid into her, he let out a deep, long groan. _Oh, how I missed this. _He moved over her, every cell in his body attuned to her. He felt every move, heard every sigh. When she began to coo softly he knew she was close. His arm went under her, lifting her closer.

"Oh.. Oh…..please, Em…" The ball of pressure inside her was tightening and she clung to him, her mind lost as she felt his hands move over her. His body shifted deep inside her.

"Uhhhhh…" he moaned against her neck, as she tightened around him. Buried deeply inside her, he stilled while the tremors raced through him.

He fell against her, breathing heavily and pulling her close. He was kissing her neck softly when the shrill sound of the alarm interrupted him. "Ignore it," he whispered, his lips still against her neck, but he could feel her tensing, pulling away from him.

She sat up, grabbing her shirt and slipping it on. "I can't. I have to be at class in an hour and I need to take a shower."

"Come back to bed. Can't you just skip class today? I miss you." His hands reached out to pull her to him again, but were met with empty air as she stood.

"You know I can't. Besides, don't you have to get ready for class too?" She didn't understand him. He knew it was important that she attend all her classes.

"I dropped that class," he mumbled, rolling onto his back and looking up at her. His eyes were dark and he looked angry. He _was_ angry. Was there ever going to be any time for him?

Shocked, she turned to him. "What? You quit? You didn't even say anything..."

"When have we had a chance to tell each other anything?" He turned to stare at the wall, feeling a bit childish but not caring. "You probably didn't even notice that I haven't been going to class for two weeks."

She stood there, her eyes wide and bewildered. She hadn't noticed and she bit her lip while staring at the floor. _How had I missed that? _"I… I... Emmett, I... " The blinking of the clock caught her eye again. Damn, now she would be late! "I have to go."

He was quiet as she went into the bathroom, listening as the shower started. He was sorry for being so petulant, for not being the man she needed, but he needed to be with her. She was so committed to her classes and he loved her tenaciousness and commitment. He just wished he had no need to be jealous that she spent more time with her college professors than she did him.

Bella stood under the shower, sorrow filling her at the thought of the lost morning. She was sorry they couldn't spend the day in bed; everything had started out so wonderful, but now they were arguing and he was upset and angry with her.

-xx-

Edward sat in the living room, feeling as if he were in hell. He _heard _them. Bella's moans and cries echoed down the hallway. He could barely stand it, but some sick fascination made it impossible for him to leave. He felt ill.

When he heard the telltale sound of the bed hitting their wall he stood, his stomach churning. He had to get out of there. Throwing on his jeans, he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

"Oh… Oh.. please, Em." Bile rushed up his throat as he threw the door open and slammed it behind him. He stood, leaning against the door, taking in deep breathes. He knew staying there was a bad idea.

_It's no more than you deserve_. He ridiculed himself over his stupidity. How could he be so damn ignorant? So fucking selfish and disgusting? He could _not_ be falling for his brother's girl. What kind of sick fool was he?

He had made it down to his car and he sped out of the parking lot, desperate to get away from that apartment, away from her. His hands shook against the steering wheel, and his face burned. He pushed the car to go faster, needing distance, but no matter how far away he drove he could still hear them. He groaned as he pulled the car into his parking space.

He beat the steering wheel with his fists, his eyes swimming and his blood boiling. What the hell was he supposed to do? He couldn't run again. He wouldn't be able to stay away from her without isolating Emmett as well. Just what the hell was he supposed to do?

****This chap is up fast. I already had it mostly ready. Dont expect the next one this quickly. I still need to write it! **

****Thanks to all who review. I love you. I lve reading the reviews, they are awesome!**

****I had a request for an Alice outake on the conversation between her and Edward. It's not written yet, but it will be. Check my blog if you're interested. **


	12. Chapter 11

*****Thanks to Jessica0306 and JulieGirl my fantastic betas whom without you would be reading a grammatical mess!**

*****Thanks to nowforruin, my twilighted beta.**

*****Disclaimer: Twilight and all things related, including Bella. Emmett, and Edward (sigh…) do not belong to me. **

_**Chapter 11- Library Rendezvous**_

Bella sat on the couch in her living room, her recent term paper clenched tightly in her fist. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she took a deep, shuddering breath. She was a failure. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't do well in this class. She was either going to have to drop it or risk failing. Neither choice was a good one; she didn't want to have to repeat the class again next semester. It was a requirement and she didn't want to fall behind.

Dr. Banner had torn the paper apart, picking at every little detail. There was absolutely nothing that the man had liked about it. Tears leaked from her eyes again and she brushed them away, frustrated.

She looked up when she heard the door open. Emmett walked into the living room, taking in his crying girlfriend, and frowned. He rushed to her side and sat down, taking her hand in his. "What's wrong?" His eyes full of concern met hers and she burst into tears. "Bee…" he pulled her close and cupped her chin, his thumbs tracing the tears on her cheeks. "…what is it?"

Unable to speak through her sniffling, Bella thrust the paper at him. Emmett took it and sighed heavily at the grade written on the top - 60? "Oh, baby, I'm sorry. You worked so hard."

"Not hard enough apparently. It sucked. He hated it." Bella pulled back from him to look down at her lap, her face filled with sorrow and confusion. "I don't know what else to do."

Emmett couldn't stand to see her cry and thought about what he could do to help. He knew nothing about what she was studying. An idea hit him - he may not know about it, but his brother did. "Maybe Edward can help? Didn't he have this class too?"

Bella nodded and looked up at Em, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. Edward had offered his help… he had also stared at her ass. She bit her lip and thought. She could really use his help, but _was_ he attracted to her? Did it matter, when she was this desperate? She decided not. She could deal with Edward's inappropriate looks if he would help her through this class.

"I'll call him now." Before she could offer any form of protest, Emmett had his cell pressed against his ear. He stood and walked across the room "Hey, Edward…"

-xx-

Edward nervously tapped his fingers along the top of the library table. He shifted in his seat and glanced at the door again. _What am I doing here? What in the hell am I doing? _He should let Bella deal with another tutor. It would be the right thing to do, before he fell any deeper into whatever this thing was with her. _I can help her better than they can. I have experience with Banner. _That was why he was here. "Damn lie…" he muttered

aloud. Who was he kidding? He was here to see her. 

He glanced up at the wall clock again for the twentieth time in the past ten minutes. She wasn't late - he was early. He had been too anxious to wait and had shown up thirty minutes ago. He tried to curb his impatience, but he felt like a small child waiting for Christmas morning.

He swallowed heavily when he caught her coming across the room. _Damn, she looks beautiful. _He felt like he was caught in some bad slow motion effect as he watched her walk towards him. Her hair flowed around her, and her eyes came up to meet his as a smile formed on her face. His eyes traveled to her shoulders and widened at the sight there. The shirt she was wearing fell off her shoulders exposing them to his hungry gaze. Softly sloping, smooth, and bare - he'd never wanted to touch something so badly in his life. He licked his bottom lip as his hands clenched into fists. "Fuck…" he swore, the sight of her enough to undo any form of restraint he might have had.

Bella sat down across from him and smiled. Inside, her stomach twisted and heat trailed up her chest and over her cheeks at his intense gaze. His grey eyes were swimming with green flames that were shooting out at her. Unconsciously, she leaned back away from him, fearing the burn. "Thank you so much for helping me." How she managed to sound so calm when he looked at her like that was beyond her.

Edward started at the sound of her voice and jerked his eyes away from her shoulders. He cleared his throat and put on a nice smile, before looking into her face. "It's no problem."

Bella sat there, stunned by the angelic smile he threw her way. Just a minute ago he looked like a demon ready to devour her and now he… she was so confused. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and tried to remember why she was here in the first place. _Oh yeah, Banner. _Her smile fell and she pulled her paper from her notebook. "I suppose we should get started since we only have a few days."

While Bella filled Edward in on her class and where in the book they were, Edward took some time to pull himself together. Slowly, he relaxed. The ideas and theories she was presenting interested him and took a front seat in his mind. She was brilliant, and he had no idea how she could be doing so poorly in class.

When she handed him her paper, his fingers brushed against hers. He closed his eyes briefly at the slow burn traveling up his arm. Bella pulled her hand back and stared at it as if it were a separate entity. Her fingers tingled. She shook her hand, trying to remove the disturbing feeling and looked up to watch Edward study her paper.

After finishing, he rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced. "It's not bad. Certainly worth more than the grade he gave you, but I think I can see where you made your mistake."

Bella leaned forward, her attention completely focused on his words, taking in every detail and every bit of advice. She nodded and hummed as he pointed out things to her.

"We'll need to do a bit more research." Edward stood and walked away from the table, toward an aisle of books. He turned and cocked an eyebrow at her, wanting her to follow him.

There were shelves and shelves of law books. Bella had no idea where to go and followed closely behind Edward, who stopped at a kiosk with a computer. After scrolling through pages of material, he found what he wanted and quickly jotted the information on two scrap pieces of paper. "Here, you go down that aisle and look for these and I'll be over there." He pointed to the aisle next to hers and disappeared around the shelves.

Bella read the paper and began her search. When she finally found one, it was way out of her reach. Exasperated, she looked around for help, but of course there was no one there. Stretching up as far as she could and standing on the very tips of her toes she could just reach the book's binding. Before she could get a good grip on it, she lost her balance and stumbled backwards.

Strong hands encircled her waist, steadying her. "Whoa there, stretch. Take it easy before you kill yourself."

Edward's hands tightened on her waist as the warm smell of cinnamon washed over him and Bella turned to face him. Her eyes came in contact with his chest and suddenly she burst out laughing.

He released her and took a step back, his brow furrowing in confusion, wondering what she found so funny. "Nice shirt. Do you always wear pictures of naked women?" Her laughter tittered off as her finger came in contact with his chest and he looked down.

Heat radiated out from that one digit and flowed through his chest. He backed away, nervously running a hand through his hair before flashing a cocky smile. "Not usually, no." Reaching up, he plucked the elusive book down from the shelf. "I think we have everything to get started."

She walked in front of him on the way back to their table and he couldn't help but admire her ass again. "It's art, you know?" he pointed out.

Bella turned to glance at him in confusion and shook her head. "The shirt. It's a photograph by Jody Schiesser."

Edward sat down at the table again, piling the books in front of him. "Maybe you should sit here so we can look at these together." He pulled the chair out next to him and gestured for her to sit down. He kept his eyes glued to the books in front of him, turning the pages. "I have more at home if you like it."

"Books?" She asked, once again unsure of what the hell he was talking about.

Edward pointed to his shirt. "No, the photographs. She is really an incredible artist. I have a book showcasing her work."

"Ummm... I think I'll pass," Bella muttered, trying to imagine looking at photos of naked women with Edward. Her face flushed and she grabbed at the book in front of them. "So what did you want to show me in this book?"

Edward began to talk, and as the facts spilled from his lips, Bella unconsciously leaned toward him. She was resting her chin in her palm, her eyes studying the book as he pointed out varying sentences and facts she could use in her paper. Her pink tongue slid out to run along her bottom lip and he had to stop speaking for a second as his heart leapt to his throat. He pulled another book over to cover for his distraction.

The closer Bella leaned into Edward, the warmer she got. Her mouth was dry and her hands sweaty. She wiped them on her jeans and looked up from the book at Edward. He was leaning down, concentrating on reading the words in front of him. She noticed the strong jaw line he had, the strength in his profile. His eyes met her and his mouth curved into a small smile.

Hours had passed without either one of them noticing and they seemed to be at a lull as they stared at one another. Bella's heart raced when Edward reached forward and touched her ear, his finger running along the shell and grasping her earring lightly. "You like butterflies?" he asked, his voice deep and husky.

Her eyes were wide and startled, and he released her ear, looking away from her and back to the books. "You know the turquoise stone stands for strength and protection." He looked back up at her again. "Do you need protecting, Bella?"

She licked her lips again and his eyes dropped to her full, pink mouth. He wanted so badly to kiss it - she was so close. He leaned in a little as if to do just that.

Bella gasped and stood up from her seat, looking much like a startled doe. Her movements were frantic as she gathered up the books. "I'll just go put these on the return shelf. I think we have enough info for now." She stumbled away, her breathing erratic. _Had he been about to kiss me? _After depositing the books on the cart, she turned to see Edward following her across the room. He reminded her of a lion stalking its prey and she wondered if she did need protection from him.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she reached in to answer it. "Hi, Em. Yeah, we're just finishing up. I'll see you in a minute." A deep feeling of guilt washed over her. All this craziness with Edward and Emmett was home, waiting for her. What the hell was going on? Why was Edward Cullen doing this to her?

Edward stopped in his tracks at the sudden ferocious glare that Bella shot his way. She looked livid and very upset. Tears were welling in her eyes as she made her way over to him. Grabbing his hand, she yanked him out of the library and out onto the street.

"What the hell is up with you? Why do you look at me like that? Did you almost kiss me in there? You do remember that I'm dating your brother, right?" She stood glaring up at him, her pulse racing and her body vibrating with energy. She was so angry with him, but more at herself. Why hadn't she stopped it right away?

"I really need your help, Edward, but not if it means this. It's not worth it." She let go of his hand and with one last glare, ran. She ran like her life depended on it.

*****Has it really been a month since I posted? So sorry for the lag, but I lost the writing bug for a bit. It's back though so I hope to keep posting more regularly. **

*****I love answering my reviews and I hope to hear more form you lurkers out there. I know you're there. Let me know what you think.**

*****I would love to start rec'ing fics. So… if you are an author let me know so I can go check out your story! You all already know about **. Hate Me » by xrxdanixrx . **You should check it out if you haven't read it yet. **


	13. Chapter 12

_********_**Thank you to my betas JulieGirl and Jessica0306. Love you encouragement and help. **

******Disclaimer: all things Twilight related including the names of my characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

_**Chapter 12 - Rabid Minds and Meandering Brains**_

Edward stood there with his mouth gaping open, his arm extended, and fingers curled. He could still feel the warmth of her hand in his. He was stunned silent and completely immobile. When his legs finally began to answer the pleading of his brain to go after her, it was too late. She was long gone.

What would he have said anyway? Sorry for being an asshole? Or maybe he could've just acted more inappropriately and humped her leg in the middle of the street. He was fed up with his own ignorant behavior.

Bella's panicked expression continued to play through his mind. The sharp words she had spoken to him rang in his ears and even though he couldn't see her anymore, he wanted to shout after her, "Of course I know you're with Emmett, I think about it every damn day!"

Slowly, he came to his senses and began to walk down the sidewalk, following the way she'd ran. He would have to go see her and apologize; if nothing else he owed her that. _What if she doesn't want to see me again… ever? _His steps faltered and he stopped his mind going blank at the very thought.

He stood in the middle of the sidewalk, confused, staring hard at the ground. The few students passing by looked over their shoulders at him, seeing a pale faced man, dead still, with a slack expression. Some of them contemplated stopping to see if he was okay. One girl and her friend peered out the window of the doughnut shop, thinking maybe he needed a cup of coffee.

But before anyone could do anything, Edward's feet began to move. His brain began to function again, as he shook his head. _No, I will go see her. _He _had_ to. As the decision was made, he walked into her apartment building.

-xx-

Bella ran. She ran hard and fast, never once stopping to catch her breath. She felt like the devil himself was on her heels. When she finally got to her apartment, she slammed the door behind her and leaned on it heavily. Her heart raced , her breathing was labored, and. her hands were shook as she bolted the door and backed away from it. She knew she was being silly; it wasn't like she was afraid of Edward in any physical sense - she didn't think he would hurt her. It just felt better to have the bolt locked, keeping him out should he follow her. She wasn't sure if she was ready to speak to him right now.

She was still so angry, but there was more. She was exhilarated. Today had been a break from the norm, a change. Everything was different. Edward's words and the way he had looked at her made her feel jittery, nervous, and elated. But the elation was mixed with a good dose of anger. Anger at Edward, anger at herself. Still, she felt alive and this confused her because at the same time, she was terrified. She walked to the window to peek out through the blinds and saw the tall figure rounding the corner. Her breath caught in her throat and she backed away. Her face flushed, and she wrung her hands nervously in front of her.

What would she say to him? _Why was he here? Couldn't he just stay away? Where was Emmett? Shouldn't he be home? _Her mind was a whirlwind of questions, never stopping on one for long, and she cowered back against the wall when the knock sounded on the door. The irrational fear took hold of her again and she was frozen in place.

Edward stood outside, his hand clenched and raised prepared to knock again, but something stopped him. He laid his palm flat against the red door, feeling the texture of the wood under it. "I'm sorry, Bella," he murmured, and then he turned and walked away. He didn't look back, not willing to give himself the opportunity to change his mind. He shouldn't have been there. He'd call her later, after giving them both some time to collect themselves.

Inside, Bella's phone rang out and she jumped, still feeling skittish. Emmett's name flashed across the screen and his short text sent a sigh of relief through her.

**Went to get pizza, on the way home now. See you in a minute.**

No more knocks came from the other side of the door and she, finally, was able to push herself away from the wall. Her knees were still shaky. She went into the bathroom, running the cold water, before splashing her face.

She began to feel silly as she thought about what had happened today. Really, it wasn't much. Why had it caused such a reaction in her? Yes, Edward had seemed a little forward, but had she overreacted? Why had she been so frightened, or felt the need to run away?

After toweling off, she went to the kitchen to get some plates and glasses ready for when Emmett showed up.

-xx-

Bella and Emmett sat on the couch, watching a movie and eating pizza. She had her feet tucked under her, her knees bent and resting on Emmett's legs. He had one hand resting on her knee while the other helped itself to a slice of pizza. The TV was on and they were both immersed in the movie. It was movie night number two and they were watching _Harry Potter- Chamber of Secrets_. They planned to watch all six movies before the new one came out that November.

As the pizza vanished, Emmett pulled Bella in closer to him. She adjusted herself, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt safe and warm, the turmoil from earlier in the day almost forgotten in Em's familiar embrace.

Emmett leaned back against the sofa, his arm casually draped across Bella's shoulders. He loved watching her facial expressions as she watched movies. The widening of her eyes as if surprised, the scowls when something didn't happen quite like it should, or the way her lips moved to the memorized lines. She was adorable and he was content to let her snuggle against him and get lost in the movie.

She had seemed upset when he first got home, very agitated. He had asked her what was wrong, but she had been vague and quickly changed the subject. She was relaxed now though and for that he was grateful. He had some news to tell her, news that he hoped would be considered good. To him it was, but he wasn't sure how Bee would react to it.

After the movie was over he reached for the remote and turned off the TV. "Bee..." he started out strong, but his voice wavered a bit at the end. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Bee, Billy has asked me to manage the shop." He looked over at her out of the corner of his eye. She turned to face him, a smile lighting her face.

"That's great." She leaned forward and pecked his cheek lightly. "You'll be able to learn even more about running the place."

"Yeah," Emmett said before blowing out the breath he was holding in. "I'll be working a lot more now. He'll need me more during the week."

Bella's smile turned down slightly and she met his gaze with her puzzled one. "He's going to work around your classes though, right?"

Emmett shifted nervously in his seat. "Ummm... no. I've decided to work full time. That really won't leave much time for classes." He nervously awaited her response, watching for any sign of distress or anger in her expression.

Bella turned to face him, her face growing red, her voice tittering off into a low screech. "You're quitting school? What about football? You're just going to waste the last year?"

He took her hand in his and gently stroked her palm with his thumb. "I can learn just as much from Billy as I can in class. More, really. And football just isn't fun anymore. It's become more of a chore than something I enjoy." Sitting up in his seat, he turned to face her head on, his hands reaching out to hold tightly to hers. "Bee, I just... I hate college. I _hate _it. I've wanted to quit for awhile and this opportunity is too good to pass up."

Bella looked down at her hands. She knew he had never enjoyed college, but she'd hoped that playing football would keep him interested. Still grasping for any reason for him not to take the job she asked, "What about Jake? He's Billy's son. How come Billy isn't giving the position to him?"

"Jake has no desire to work anymore than he already does. He doesn't want the responsibility that goes along with it." Emmett pushed the stray piece of hair hanging along her cheek behind her ear. His fingers lingered there, before sliding back down. "It's a good thing. We'll have more money, and I'll be gaining a ton of experience for when I'm able to get my own place."

"I'll miss you at school," she whispered as she shivered a little against the sudden cold she felt seep through her skin.

"I'll miss you, too. _But_ this is a going to be a good thing. We'll see each other more. No more football practice, no more early morning classes."

Bella rested her head on his shoulder. She was upset that he had quit school; she had always felt it was really important to get a degree, but she just didn't have the energy to be angry with him. Strong arms wrapped around her, while firm lips brushed against her neck. "Are you okay with this?"

She shrugged a little. It wasn't like she really had a choice not to be… it was already done. She understood it and she would just have to accept it. It was what he wanted.

She had a hard time falling asleep that night. Her brain just wouldn't allow it. Every time she closed her eyes she either saw Emmett telling her he quit college, or Edward stalking her across the library. She tossed onto her side, her hair tangling beneath her. Her nerves shot back up from the harsh tugging and she clenched her hair in her fists, pulling it free.

Her head hit the pillow with a vision of Edward fiddling with her earring. What had he said about the turquoise in them? Why did he touch her ear? What did he mean - did she need protecting? From what?

Then, just as quickly, another change of thought - Emmett quit school. She just couldn't get a handle on it. She had at least six years left. What was that going to leave them with? Would he stay here all six and wait for her to finish? Then what? What was in their future?

She wanted Emmett to hold her, to help her calm down, but she didn't want to wake him. Plus, she wasn't sure what she would say. She didn't want to tell him she was disappointed or worried. She wanted him to be happy and she knew if she told him what she was really thinking, it would only hurt him.

Emmett lie next to her, feeling the bed shift every time she moved. He sensed her disquiet and wanted to reach out and hold her, but he was afraid. Maybe she was more upset about him quitting and taking the job than he thought. So instead of reaching out to her, he turned on his side, away from her, and stared at the wall. He listened to her sighs and hums until, finally, he drifted off to sleep.

-xx-

Edward walked into the silent apartment. Flicking on the kitchen light, he grabbed a bottle of water form the fridge. In the living room, he sat on the couch, took a drink and laid back, staring up at the dark ceiling.

The first thing that came to mind was Bella - the way she felt when he held her, or how smooth the curve of her ear was. He pushed the picture of his fingers on her skin to the back of his mind. Instead, he focused on how upset she was when she left - the look of scorn and anger on her face and her biting words.

He had been such a complete asshole.

What if Emmett had seen him shamelessly flirting with his girl? That would've been it. He could've lost his brother right then. Shaking his head, he rubbed his eyes and sighed wearily. All Bella had wanted was his help in her class. He hadn't even been able to give her that.

He still wanted to help her. He knew he could. She was really very intelligent, and with just a small push in the right direction she would pass Banner's class with flying colors. Couldn't he just help her? Couldn't he just be her friend?

Friends… with someone he wanted as badly as he wanted her? Was it possible? Could he do it?

His phone went off, jerking him from his musings and he grabbed it, checking the screen - _Alice. _She hadn't spoken more than one sentence to him since he saw her at Emmett's a few weeks ago.

"Hello?" he asked, somewhat anxious to be talking to his baby sister.

"Edward," Alice acknowledged. "I think we should talk. It's been too long and I miss you. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow? My first class isn't until ten."

Edward grinned, happy that she wanted to see him. "That would be great. I miss you too, Ali." The childhood name slipped from his lips easily, and he smiled remembering the Alice who used to follow him around everywhere when they were kids.

After picking the place and time, Alice hung up and Edward's mouth set in determination. Tomorrow he would reconnect with a part of his family and instead of destroying the other half, he would fix it. He would make it right somehow and forget his desires and remember all the things that are so much more important than that.

****Didn't take as long this time. I enjoyed writing this chapter. What did you think?**

****Thanks to every one of my reviewers your words help me to write. **

****Fic Rec- One of These Nights by MellieB40 - http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6243744/1/One_of_These_Nights**

**She grabbed my attention right away and if your all for canon this one might not be your thing, but it is addicting and very well written. Bella does piss you off a few times, but… maybe she has a reason? And Angela is awesome and sad and I really love her story and am hoping Mellie writes more about her. You should jump over and check this one out. Be sure to leave her a review too!**


	14. Chapter 13

******I really want to thank my favorite betas Jessica0306 and JulieGirl! They are the best. **

******Disclaimer: Anything that is remotely linked to Twilight isn't mine. **

Chapter 13 - Second Chances

The Starbucks was fairly empty, so Alice was easy to spot sitting at a small table in the corner. Edward sat down across from her, holding a Café Americano between his hands.

"Hi, Ali." His eyes searched her face, looking for any sign of how she was feeling - all he saw was her love.

"I've missed you," Alice said softly. She reached over the table and patted the top of his hand.

"I've missed you, too." Edward peered over his cup at his sister, taking note of all the changes that had occurred within the past three years. "You look different."

Alice scoffed and her finger nervously fidgeted with her hair. "Well, it has been three years. I was bound to grow up at some point. Plus, I cut my hair off."

Edward nodded. He had noticed that when he'd seen her at Emmett's. "You're still short though." He smirked and sat his coffee down.

Rolling her eyes, Alice broke into her first wide grin and Edward was so happy to see it, he finally relaxed and leaned back in his seat. "What have you been up to the last few years?" he asked.

The conversation revolved around old memories and new ones they had missed. Edward filled her in on law school and how excited he was to be graduating this year. Alice spoke about the Chemistry degree she was working on. Edward was surprised at her choice, never realizing his baby sister was geared that way. Science? Chemistry? But as he listened to her speak he realized she was as passionate about her degree as he was his.

Talking to Alice remained easy and light-hearted until she decided to talk about Emmett and Bella. Edward tried very hard to keep his face carefully neutral as she went into detail about their relationship and how it had been such a big step when they moved in together.

"You know, Emmett talked to me about asking her to marry him. Can you believe it?"

Edward's fist clenched under the table and his jaw tightened against the surge of jealousy that flowed through him. He quickly sought to change the subject and teased, "Yeah, well I see he's not the only one with marriage on the mind." Jasper had asked Alice to marry him last weekend, and Edward stared pointedly at her engagement ring.

Alice lifted her hand to admire her ring, a small smile on her face. "Yeah... isn't it lovely? We want to get married this summer. I know it's quick, but we just don't want to wait." Alice chewed her bottom lip, contemplating her brother through narrowed eyes. "Edward..."

He looked up at her quizzically, his brows raised. "Yeah?"

"Why did you leave? Was it because of how you felt about Bella?"

Edward's eyes widened and his mouth parted in shock. "Why would you think that?"

"I remember how you looked at her. You were so intense and I knew you had a thing for her then. So did Mom."

Edward just shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face, not liking the turn of conversation.

"It was all over your face three years ago and just now, when I said her name… it's still there."

Edward glared into his empty coffee cup, the easy morning suddenly turning dangerous. He hated that Alice could read him so easily, even when he thought he was covering up his feelings. "No, Alice. It's like I told Emmett. Vicki wanted…"

"Do you love her?" Alice interrupted.

"I thought I loved Vicki, but..."

Again, Edward didn't get to finish his sentence before his sister broke in. "Not Vicki, -Bella"

Edward scoffed and shook his head, unable to meet her questioning gaze. "I barely know her."

Alice's brow furrowed as she scowled crossly at him. "So?" At Edward's silence, she gave an exasperated sigh. "That doesn't mean you don't feel something for her, right?"

Edward finally raised his eyes to hers but said nothing, neither admitting nor denying her question.

"Oh, Edward... what are you going to do? Emmett loves her so much."

"I'm helping her with her class. That's all, Alice." Alice's faced scrunched up, her mouth twisting. "What? I would never deliberately hurt Emmett, no matter how I may feel." It was as close as he would get to admitting anything to her.

"I don't know. What if the feeling gets stronger? It's already been three years. You weren't even around her, yet nothing changed. You still feel just as strongly as you did before and it's only getting worse, right?"

As Edward listened to Alice, he tensed in anger. He was getting sick of hearing her tell him how he felt. "What do you want me to do, Ali? Run away again?"

"No. Just stay away from her"

"Emmett asked me to help her. I have to help her. If I avoid Bella, I avoid Emmett. Besides, she loves him, too. She doesn't want me."

Alice interrupted, leaning across the table, her eyes frantic. "No. Edward, no. Get someone else to tutor her."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? I'm you're sister. It's my job to tell you when or if you're fucking up and Edward, you're fucking up. You know you can't be around her. You have to stay away from her."

"No, I won't." Edward stood back from the table. "I _can_ do this. You haven't even been around us. You don't know. Hell, I haven't even seen you in three years and you think you know me well enough to tell me how I feel or how I will react to a situation! Well, you're wrong. I can help her and be her friend _and_ nothing more. I'm not falling in love with her!"

Alice frowned, her eyes laden with sadness. "I never said you were." She reached up to grab his hand, giving it a good squeeze. "Please sit back down."

But Edward was done talking and he shook his head. "I have to go."

Alice stood and wrapped him in a completely one-sided hug. Edward remained still, like a statue, cold and hard. "I love you and I'm only trying to help prevent an outcome that could hurt both you and Emmett very much. Please be careful." She kissed him lightly on his cheek before letting him go.

With a curt nod he turned and left.

-xx-

Edward walked straight to the library, unable to get Alice's words out of his head. _Do you love her? You feel just as strongly now as before… _ He scowled down at the sidewalk. Why would she ask him that? Of course he didn't love Bella. How could he? He barely knew her. She _was_ beautiful and smart, and sure, he was attracted to her. But love?

He didn't think about where he was going as he walked and when he looked up, he was facing the campus library. Glancing at the time on his phone, he realized it was the same time they had met yesterday. Could Bella be in there right now, studying? She did still have a paper to finish. He had promised to help her with it. Plus he needed to talk to her. There would be only one way to find out. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door

Once inside, his anxious eyes scanned the area and found her immediately. Her back was to him, and he watched her for a minute as she brushed her hair over her shoulder. She was sitting at the same table they had shared last time. There were already books scattered around her and her face was buried in one of them. He took the seat across from her, his hands lying flat in front of him.

"Bella?"

Startled, Bella glanced up, her gaze fixing on Edward. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help you get an A on that paper."

Bella stared at him, her eyes gigantic in her pale face. She swallowed and stuttered out, "Y... you arrrre?" She couldn't believe he was here, and she didn't know if she should ask him to leave or thank him for his help.

"Yeah. Can I see what you've got so far?"

She handed him all the notes they had compiled last week and a few new ones she had taken today.

Edward read through them, picked up a book and started to add more. Bella looked down and stared hard at her notebook. She kept taking notes, even if she had to write the same thing twice - anything to keep her from having to look across the table.

They worked quietly - both a little apprehensive about actually speaking to each other. Edward got up once to go get another book and instead of sitting next to her to share the reading, he opened the book and slid it toward her, pointing out the information he wanted her to see.

She peeked up at him through her eyelashes and wondered if perhaps she was losing her mind. Gone was the flirtatious man from yesterday. Had she imagined him? Edward made no offhand remarks, didn't try to touch her, and when he did look at her, kept his gaze carefully focused on just her face. Should she bring up yesterday or let it go? Maybe he didn't know what to say to her. Maybe he was just trying to put it past them and work around it. That would be just fine with her. She wished she could forget everything that happened yesterday.

The rest of the day went by fast and when the clock struck seven, Bella could barely believe it. Her stomach let out a loud grumble and she grabbed it as she blushed and ducked her head.

She managed to glance up at Edward, despite her mortification, to see if he had heard.

Sure enough, he grinned at her in amusement. "I think we should quit now before your stomach eats itself."

Bella smiled, letting loose a tiny laugh. She grabbed her books and began shoving them into her bookbag. Edward stood, walked around the table, and perched on the edge next to her. His hands were shoved deeply into his pockets, and she swore his cheeks flushed a faint red.

"I'm really sorry for yesterday," he muttered, his voice so low she had to strain to hear him. He cleared his throat and looked up at her. "Friends?"

Bella's voice squeaked as she answered, "Sure."

Edward nodded, standing once more. "See you tomorrow, same time?"

Bella nodded again and watched as he walked away.

Outside, Edward leaned against the wall and took in a deep breath. Everything had gone fine. He had kept himself in check and Bella hadn't noticed how his heart leapt when she laughed. He noticedand as he stood there, a silent desperation filled him. He began to wonder if maybe Alice was right about him. Just what exactly did he feel for Bella?

Thursday went on much the same way. Conversation was limited only to the subject at hand; Edward remained across the table, glancing at her only when needed. As the night came to an end they had an outline, a header and a conclusion. Bella was going to finish the rest of her paper on the computer at home.

There was one difference that day - Edward waited and walked Bella outside, holding the door open for her as she passed through. "When will you find out how you did?" he asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Bella eyed his hands, recognizing this as something Edward seemed to do often. She wondered if it was because he was cold, or if there was something wrong with his hands. She'd never noticed anything strange about them before. She looked up to see that Edward was watching her stare at his hands and she quickly tried to remember what he had asked her. A faint memory stirred in her and she blurted, "Banner usually hands back papers after the weekend. So… probably on Monday."

"Will you call me and let me know how you did?"

"Sure. I'm a little it anxious about it, but I think it's going to be good." Bella nodded her head, positively. "Thank you for your help"

Edward lips turned up into a small smile and he finally let his eyes meet hers. "You're welcome."

"Well, I should go. See ya." Bella turned and walked up the sidewalk. She clutched her jacket around her as the breeze turned icy and wondered how far Edward had to walk. He hadn't been wearing a jacket. Turning her head, she glanced over her shoulder, imagining that he would be watching her walk away.

He wasn't and she was oddly disappointed. 

-xx-

When Edward's phone went off on Monday, he was happy to see that it was Emmett. "Hey, bro. What's up?"

A small giggle sounded over the line and Edward's face broke out in a huge grin. "Bella?"

"I got a ninety-six," she squealed into his ear. Bella's laugh was loudly interrupted by a snort.

"Did you just snort?" Edward teased, his own grin spreading from ear to ear.

"What? I... Edward! Did you hear me? I got a ninety-six." Bella was blushing on the other side of the phone, but she continued to laugh, an indelicate snort breaking through her giggles now and again.

Edward chuckled and shook his head, his eyes alight with amusement. "Congratulations. You deserved it. You worked really hard."

Suddenly serious, Bella's laugh fadded off. "It's because of you, Edward. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much your help means to me. I just... I was so lost."

Edward sat on his couch, listening to her thank him. His fingers caressed the sofa arm as he thought about her and the last few days. "You don't need to thank me. I was more than glad to help."

"Listen," Bella's voice trilled across the line, "Emmett is putting an impromptu party together for tonight. Really it's just dinner out. My friend Angela is coming and Alice and Jasper. Please come."

Edward closed his eyes. He wanted to go, but Alice was going to be there. He couldn't help but think of their last conversation." I don't know..."

"Pleeeasssse... I owe you so much. Just come."

Edward couldn't say no to that and he smiled as he accepted her offer.

*****Epic review reply fail! I know… sorry. But please keep reviewing, because I did read them all and I love you for it! **

*****I am do some other writing, one shots, my novel (gasp!) so updates may be a few weeks between. don't worry and please hang with me. I promise that I will finish. I would never, ever! quit writing this. Until it's finished. **


	15. Chapter 14

*****Can it really be an update? Yes, ladies it is. I am so excited to be posting this after such a long lull. I hope it was worth the wait and it is a tad longer than usual.**

*****Thank you to my awesome betas JulieGirl and Jessica0306. They helped me realize that sometimes moving forward is a good thing. (You'll see)**

*****Disclaimer: Yes, Edward and Emmett, and Bella belong to Stephanie.. But the rest in this chap is all mine. **

**Chapter 14 - Jealousy?**

Edward stood in front of his mirror, fidgeting with the collar on his shirt and thinking about Bella. He missed seeing her. The last week was lonely and he hated it. He really missed the study sessions and the time they shared together. He'd thought about going over to see her, but knew it was a bad idea.

He was excited about finally having a reason to be with her, but he was also nervous.

He had done well with Bella the last few days at the library, but this would be in a much more relaxed atmosphere. What if he fucked up? What if he slipped and did something wrong? What if… what if… he was driving himself crazy thinking about all the possibilities.

He would just have to relax. Relax and be himself. He laughed aloud - _be himself_. Yeah… if he did that he'd really be in trouble.

He was knocked off his feet the moment she opened her front door. Her hair had been pulled back and she was wearing the same butterfly earrings she had worn to the library. His eyes drifted down, along the curve of her neck, skimming across the pink shirt she wore, and landing on the soft swell of her breasts. He quickly brought his eyes back up to hers before she could notice and clutched the gift he had brought tightly in his pocket.

The gift. He assured himself it wasn't inappropriate to give her something to congratulate her on a job well done. Friends bought each other gifts, didn't they?

Bella smiled, and his heart skipped a beat. "Edward, I'm so glad you came." She reached out, took his hand and pulled him inside. "We're almost set to go, just waiting on Emmett."

"Good." He took the gift out of his pocket and held it out to her. "I can give you this while we wait."

She looked at it and arched her eyebrows at him in surprise. "You didn't need to get me anything."

Shrugging, he slipped it into her hand. "It's not much, just a way to say good job."

She opened the box and let out a small gasp, her eyes widening and lifting to meet his. "A _little_ something?"

Emmett stepped behind Bella and peeked over her shoulder. He smirked, a short guffaw slipping through his lips. "You bought her a pen?"

Edward was ready with a quick come back, but Bella beat him to it. She turned and scowled at Emmett. "You're being rude. It's a nice gift and besides, it's not just a pen. It's a _Cross_ pen and it's lovely." She took it out of the box and held it up, examining it. "It's too much. You must have paid a lot for it."

Edward shoved his hands in his pockets and swallowed before speaking. "No, it wasn't much. I thought you could use it when you start visiting the courtroom."

"That's a long time away." She grinned at him, her eyes shining. "I don't think I'll wait until then." She put the pen back in its box and looked up at him again. "Thank you." Her arms went around his waist and Edward was suddenly engulfed in a warm hug.

He stood very still, afraid to move, only breathing deeply and sighing at the smell of her cinnamon scented shampoo. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer; he _wanted_ to never let her go.

After she stepped away from him, she grabbed her purse and slipped the box inside. "Ready?" she asked Emmett, her voice wavering a little.

Edward took in her rapidly rising chest and flushed cheeks. He wondered if it was their hug or the gift that caused her to appear so flustered.

-xx-

Bella grasped her purse tightly, not wanting anyone to notice the way her hands shook. The gift from Edward had surprised her and she was a little overcome with his generosity. She had hugged him in gratitude, but was unprepared for the spark that tingled up her spine when she touched him.

She decided to ignore it and took Emmett's hand as they walked outside.

-xx-

Bella was sitting next to Emmett, who had his arm around her shoulders. They were talking quietly to each other, and Edward stared down at his plate riddled with jealousy. The half eaten cheeseburger suddenly lost its appeal, and he pushed the plate away in disgust. His gaze kept lingering on Bella and his thoughts were leading him in  
directions he didn't want to go.

If he could only stop watching them.

He looked down the table, hoping to catch someone in conversation, but came to the realization that he was the only single person there. Everyone else belonged to someone. Loneliness hit him like a tight fist to the stomach and he leaned forward, his hand covering his eyes.

He wanted what they had. Actually if he was honest, he wanted what Emmett had. Fuck if Alice hadn't been right. Every time Bella smiled, every time she said his name or glanced his way, his heart skipped a beat. It seemed impossible. It should be impossible, but somehow he had fallen in love with her. Maybe he had always loved her.

He wanted to run away. To leave the restaurant, to never see them again, but he knew he couldn't. There was no way he could willingly walk away from her. He would have to watch as Emmett lived his dream. There was nothing he could do about it. Nothing.

He felt himself sink lower into self-pity. He realized he could sit there and wallow in it or _maybe _he could get up and go talk to the girl who was eyeballing him at the pool table. _Maybe_ he could go over there and get away from watching Emmett kiss Bella the way he was now. _Maybe_ she could help him get away from it all.

His gaze focused on the small slip of a girl with a riot of curly brown hair. She had a nice curvy shape and a pretty smile, which he got to see first hand when she glanced over her shoulder at him.

Part of him didn't want to go. Part of him wanted to stay where he was, close to Bella, and when he looked across the table to see her watching him, he almost did. Her mouth was curved in a slight smile, and her eyes met his. For a moment he thought he saw something in them, a longing that he recognized all to well, but then she turned to Emmett and he brushed her hair off her shoulder. Emmett's gaze was full of all the love that he felt for Bella. Edward could read it in his eyes and he had to look away.

Fuck... he really was despicable to think of Bella in any way other than as Emmett's girl.

He had to stop.

He pushed back from the table, a fake smile plastered to his face. "I think I'll wonder on over there and talk to a pretty lady. You guys have fun. Bella..." He nodded in her direction before turning and heading to the pool tables.

-xx-

Bella drank her beer and watched him walk away. Emmett's arm was heavy on her shoulders and she shrugged a little to dislodge it. She turned to him, laying a short kiss on his cheek to make up for it, but her eyes drifted back toward the pool table.

She talked to Alice and Angela, felt Emmett's hand on hers, but she couldn't stop watching Edward. She watched as he walked up to the girl who had been eyeing him all night. Bella had noticed her checking Edward out, but when Edward paid her no attention, Bella assumed he wasn't interested. Bella thought Edward was a bit out of the frizzy-headed girl's league anyway.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a question from Alice and she answered, but she wasn't really there. She nodded and met the eyes of the others in a pretense of caring what they were talking about, when all she really wanted to know was what Edward was saying to that girl.

Frizz-head laughed loudly and placed her hand on Edward's chest. Bella's eyes narrowed as a ripple of something she didn't want to name pierced her. She felt Emmett's hand around her arm and turned away, disappointed to not see what was going to happen next.

"Bella, quit watching my brother. You're giving me a complex." Emmett's teasing voice filled her ears and she blushed at being caught. Damn it, what was wrong with her? Why was she paying so much attention to what Edward was doing?

She tried to justify her behavior to both her boyfriend and herself. "He seemed really lonely tonight, so I was glad he went to talk to someone." She quickly glanced at Edward again. "Though I think he could've made a better choice. She seems so plain."

Emmett laughed. "Maybe he should've went for the hot blonde?"

"Edward doesn't like blondes."

"Really? How do you know?" Emmett turned her to face him, his eyes searching her face.

Bella swallowed, trying to get her shit together, unsure of exactly what she was trying to say, or why she was saying it. "Umm... I don't. I just know his last girlfriend was a red head and... he seems to be more attracted to brunettes." _Why not just put your foot in your mouth, Bella? _she scolded herself. What the hell was going on with her? She leaned in to kiss Emmett and refocused all her attention on him. "Enough about Edward. Tell me how it's going at the garage."

Emmett quickly filled her in on his new job and she was happy to see him smile. He seemed to love it. His face lit up as he told her about a car that had come in today… a Camaro. His eyes filled with excitement and he practically bounced in his seat while he filled her in on how much he loved working on that car, on just how amazing it was.

He took her hand in his, and leaned forward, "I'm not boring you am I?"

Bella shook her head no, and sipped her beer. Watching his animated face could never be considered boring. His boyish excitement had trickled over into her and she was ready to have some fun. The bowling alleys looked interesting.

Everyone else thought it sounded like a spectacular idea as well and they all stood and made their way over to the alleys. Emmett called to Edward, and he grabbed frizz-head's hand and tugged her along behind him. Bella's nose curled up in distaste as Edward brought her over and introduced her to everyone.

Bella's first impression was that Jessica was a bubble-headed idiot. She seemed unable to do anything other than giggle and shake her ass at Edward. After listening to the girl mindlessly prattle about the benefits of a smaller ball, Bella rolled her eyes and selected one of her own.

Bella sat next to Emmett, awaiting her turn and drinking her beer. Emmett went first and scored a strike. After giving him a well deserved kiss, Bella stood and made ready to try her hand.

A high pitched laugh startled her just as she was releasing the ball and instead of rolling down the lane, it plopped down on her toes. Howling in pain, Bella hobbled over to a chair as tears filled her eyes.

"Bee, are you okay?" Emmett knelt before her, untying her shoe and gently taking it off.

He felt her toes and she jerked her foot away. "Ow! Damn it, Emmett, that hurt!"

"Sorry. Let me go see if I can get you some ice." As Emmett rushed away, Bella realized she was the center of everyone's attention. Frizz-head had even stopped shaking her ass long enough to show the proper amount of concern. Bella's eyes flashed as they narrowed on her. It was her fault she had dropped the ball. Her and her ridiculously loud laugh.

Jessica met Bella's stare and took a step back from her, her eyebrows raised and her mouth formed a small "o". Bella wanted to get up and kick her, only she was afraid she'd hurt her toe even more.

Emmett came back and gingerly placed the ice on her foot. Bella sulked quietly as she sat and watched as the others played. Her attention again wandered to Jessica and Edward.

Frizz-head seemed unable to keep her hands to herself, constantly fondling Edward. Bella thought the girl should at least show a little restraint. Her antics were quite disgusting. She was astounded to see that Edward seemed to be enjoying himself. His eyes kept focusing on Jessica's mouth, his hands fit around her waist, and Bella squirmed when he pulled that girl close against his body.

She overheard their conversation and wondered how Edward could even stand to talk to somebody so vapid. "Me and my girls come here a lot. We love to play pool and drink beer. I've never seen you here before. Do you go to UW? Oh my God, really? So do I. What are you taking? A lawyer? Wow... I'm in design."

Bella rolled her eyes and smirked as the girl babbled. No way could Edward find someone like that girl to be interesting.

Emmett sat next to her, his hand sweeping back her hair. "You don't like her, do you?"

"Ugh... No."

"Relax, Bee, I don't think she'll be a permanent fixture on Edward's arm. He's just looking for a warm body to get through the night. You were right earlier - he is lonely."

She should feel better knowing that Edward wouldn't get serious with a girl like that, but she didn't. Instead her mind filled with pictures of Edward kissing frizz-head, of him taking her to bed, and it was horrible. Her stomach clenched and her head started to pound. She was tired of watching them. Why should it matter if Edward wanted to settle for someone like Jessica? That was his business.

"My foot still hurts. Can we go home?" She wanted to leave. She didn't feel much like celebrating anymore.

She let Emmett help her to her feet and went to say goodbye to everyone. When they stopped in front of Edward and frizz-head, Bella stared Edward down. "We're leaving. Are you ready?"

She expected Edward to come, to follow them. Instead he wheedled Jessica for a ride. "I rode with them, so… I guess I have to go now."

Frizz-head pouted and shook her head, her squinty, beady little eyes pleading up at Edward. "Stay. I can get you home."

Bella and Emmett left by themselves. Edward stayed behind with _her_.

Bella tried not to think too much about it. It didn't have anything to do with her and she'd spent far too much time focused on them. She had neglected her boyfriend and was feeling guilty over acting like a complete bitch.

Emmett helped her into the car and then got in to drive. "How's your foot?"

"It's feeling better. I'm sorry for snapping at you when you were checking it over. It was just sore." Bella leaned her head back against the seat and looked over at Emmett.

"It's okay." He smiled and squeezed her hand before starting the car.

The lull of the road and the soft music playing calmed Bella's nerves. Emmett sang quietly along with the radio and she smiled at his off key rendition of _Maybe_ by the Sick Puppies.

Before she knew it they were home and Emmett's strong arm was wrapped around her in their warm bed. She snuggled into him, letting everything else fade away except his warmth.

*****Once again I have failed you in the review reply department. My excuse is the same one I am giving you for the long wait- Real life can be a bitch sometimes… Please forgive me and continue to review because they really make my day. **

*****I did post a couple one shots. If you read them you will notice the way they are angsty and sad. That is the way I had been feeling and why I stayed away from this story for a minute. You didn't want Emmett to shoot Edward did you? At least not yet anyway. **


	16. Chapter 15

*****Yes it's a new chapter already. Hopefully I can keep going like this. **

*****Thanks to my terrific beta's JulieGirl and Jessica0306.**

*****Disclaimer: yeah, Emmett, Bella, and Edward aren't mine. I know this.**

_**Chapter 15 - The Calm Before the Storm**_

Emmett glanced over at Bee often as he drove. He knew exactly when she fell asleep. Her breathing slowed, and her chest rose and fell deeply, a soft hum drifting from her lips like she was singing a song. Emmett smiled as he listened to her, the familiar sound relaxing his shoulders. He reclined back against his seat as he settled in for the drive.

The road wound endlessly before him, allowing his mind the freedom to think about the events of that night. It hadn't gone as well as he'd hoped. Bee was supposed to have a good time and relax. Instead, she ended up angry and injured. Her behavior still confused him. He had never seen her be out right rude to someone before, but she sure had hated Jessica. He didn't know why. Maybe the girl wasn't very smart, but she was nice enough, and the attention she was giving Edward was great. Edward needed someone to pay attention to him.

Emmett had noticed the way Edward had slowly withdrawn from the conversation at the table. He had grown silent, almost sullen. Emmett had been relieved when he got up and went to talk to Jessica.

Bee let out a whisper beside him and Em looked over at her. She was still asleep, her mouth was partially open and her brow was puckered. Emmett reached across the console and took her hand before turning his attention back to the road. Even in her sleep she couldn't relax. Emmett hated that. She needed some fun time, some time to let loose, like she used to.

He would have to seriously start researching this trip to New York. Maybe there, away from the worries of school, she would loosen up and have fun.

He parked and rushed to the other side of the car to help her out. She was still groggy and he wanted to help her. She leaned on him as they walked, but he ended up carrying her up the stairs and through their door. She was so light and warm, and he watched her face as he laid her down on the bed. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her awake. He urged her to a sitting position, carefully removing her shirt.

His eyes glazed over at the site of her chest, but her eyes were still closed and she appeared to be sleeping. "Bee?" he tried.

She slumped a little to the side and Emmett eased her down onto the bed. Untying her shoes, he removed her socks, then her pants. Her blue cotton undies made him smile, and he laid a gentle kiss on her hip, before pulling away.

He rose over her, looking down at her sleeping form. She was the only person he knew who could sleep so deeply. He could probably yell directly into her ear and she still wouldn't wake up.

Pushing himself up, he discarded his own clothing and lay down next to her. His arm wrapped around her and he pulled her close as he buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply. His fingers ran over her arm and across her shoulder. His touch was light. His eyes scanned over her form, as his heart filled and lifted. Holding her like this always did things to his heart. She was so beautiful and he just couldn't get enough.

He nipped lightly at her neck, feeling a bit guilty about trying to wake her up, but needing her. His hands ran over her, and he squeezed and kissed her gently until she started to squirm against him.

Smiling, he turned her over. Her eyes were open now and she had a smile on her face.

"I was sleeping."

"I know, sorry." He dipped his head, his lips touching hers as he breathed out a sigh.

"It's okay." Her arms wound around his neck, her fingers tangled in his hair and she pulled him closer.

"I love you," he whispered against her mouth.

-xx-

The next morning he awoke alone. Bee's side of the bed was cold, and Emmett frowned as he squinted at the time. It was nine, so she must've already left for class. He had the day off and planned to lay around being lazy.

He stood and slipped on a pair of sweat pants, his old Seahawks t-shirt and socks. Stretching, he made his way out to the kitchen. There was a note laying there for him.

_I'm going to go to the library after school. Meeting Edward there. Won't be long, just a little research. Trying to keep ahead of the game rather than falling behind. Will stop and get dinner (?) Text me if you want something special. … Last night was wonderful. I love you. - Bee_

Emmett sat the note down as he poured himself a glass of coffee. It was cold, but he didn't care. Grabbing a donut, he made his way into the living room. The computer taunted him from the corner. He really needed to start looking up flights and hotel rooms for New York. He groaned just thinking about it.

He sat down, moving the mouse around until the screen lit up. It only took a few seconds to pull up pricing and locations. His mouth fell open at the cost of the plane ticket - three hundred and eighty dollars each!

He leaned heavily on the desk, his face a mask of shock. How was he going to do that? Quickly he scanned hotel pricing, which was anywhere between one hundred and forty to two hundred and seventy dollars a night.

Leaning back in the chair, he stared at the screen. He had some money saved up. He had been stashing money away for the last year, trying to save enough to buy Bee the ring he had seen at the jeweler's. He wondered if he should use it for this instead.

He recalled the tense look on her face as she slept last night in the car and decided that he would. He would just have to start up a new savings when they got back, or get a smaller ring.

He hesitated as he went to book the flight, his finger stalling over the mouse. He heard in his head the sound of Bella's excitement as she went on and on about their trip. She really wanted to go and Emmett really wanted to give her everything she wanted. _Click_- the flight was saved, the date set during Spring Break.

He printed out a confirmation for the tickets and decided to leave it on the kitchen counter. Bee always went into the kitchen as soon as she got home. Something about doing schoolwork made her hungry. She would see it there.

He was quiet when she walked in, lying on the couch. He heard a gasp and the padding of running feet. She jumped on him and he gave a loud _umph. _

She was giggling and placing kisses all over his face. "You got the tickets! You wonderful man. We go in March? Oh, Em, I can't wait."

He grinned broadly, grasping her hips and pulling her further down on top of him. He watched her laugh, and he was elated. She was so excited, and he was sure now that he had done the right thing. Any price was worth paying to see her like this.

-xx-

The following Friday morning, Bee stood in front of her closet, scowling and muttering under her breath. "I have nothing to wear! Do you know where my red shirt is? I swear I left it right here…" She bent over, burying her head further in the closet and giving Emmett a nice view of her round ass.

Emmett leaned back, enjoying the view. "Last time I borrowed it, I gave it back to you." He grinned, when she stopped her search to glare at him menacingly.

"Ha, ha."

"Just wear a different one. That one purple top looks good on you." He liked when she wore purple. It did something to her skin… he didn't know; she just looked hot. Getting out of bed, he helped her find it.

"Damn it, I'm going to be late." She hurried off to the bathroom, and Emmett threw on his jeans and went out to the kitchen to make some coffee.

He had a cup ready for her when she ran out, along with a toasted bagel. They kissed and she left. He got ready to go to work, happy, and singing along to the radio.

Business at the garage was slow, with only two new customers coming in. He had an appointment with Mrs. Hale. She was looking to buy a car and asked for his help. She offered to pay him and he almost declined, but he knew every penny would help, so he accepted. She reminded him of his grandmother, so he felt a bit guilty taking money from her, but he would help her however he could.

The little white haired woman came up to just below Emmett's shoulder. She had a laptop in her hand, and Emmett's smile grew as she sat down next to him and popped it open. "My granddaughter got me this, wants me to email her or some nonsense." She harrumphed as she pushed the button to start it up. "Still not real sure how to use it for anything other than that." She glanced up at him and batted her lashes and Emmett laughed loudly. "You're such a sweet boy. I'm sure you can help me?"

"Of course, Mrs. Hale."

"Oh, dear, please call me Clara."

"Okay, Clara. There are a few sites we can hit. Once we find something you like, I'd be glad to go with you, make sure everything is on the up and up." Emmett typed in the first site to visit and the rest of the afternoon passed quickly. They had called on about three potential cars and lined up appointments to go see them after Em got off work.

He called Bella to give her the news, hoping he wasn't too late. She didn't answer so he left her a message, promising to call again if he would be much longer.

The first two cars were absolute shit, and it pissed Emmett off that they were trying to pawn them off on a little old lady. Clara spoke to him quietly. "Don't you fret now, young man. They'll get what's coming to them."

As they drove, she spoke about her family. She had two sons and a daughter, five grandsons and one granddaughter. "She's lovely. It's too bad you're already taken or I would introduce you. Spit fire though, hard to handle sometimes. A lot like her grandpa." She smiled at Emmett and he saw the thin layer of tears at the mention of her husband.

Shaking her head, she quickly changed the subject. "Tell me more about your girl. Bella is it?"

Emmett nodded, a small smile playing across his lips. "She's everything- beautiful, smart, caring. Her eyes are the biggest soul searing brown eyes I've ever seen. She wants to be a lawyer and is taking classes at the University. It's everything to her and she's going to do it." Pride seeped into his voice as he thought of Bee's determination. "I can already see her in a courtroom with the jury under her spell."

"You sound like you're smitten."

"You could say that." Emmett grinned and looked back out the window; the last lot was just ahead.

They found the car for Clara there. It was a Toyota Corolla, in great condition and perfect for her. She thanked him profusely as she settled in to her new car, perching her glasses on the tip of her nose. "You head on home now and give that girl of yours a kiss for  
me."

Emmett nodded, accepting the firm grasp of her hand in his. He stood and watched as she drove away, before getting into his car and heading home.

He tried to call Bee again and this time she answered. She was laughing and Emmett smiled at the sound. "Hey."

"Em, hi. Are you on your way home?"

"Yeah, just finishing up."

"That was really sweet of you to help that lady - what was her name?"

"Mrs. Hale... Clara."

"Yeah."

"I should be home soon. I thought I'd stop and get a few tacos. Would you like something?"

"Oh... no. I ate already. I ran into Edward at the store and invited him to dinner. When I got your message, I figured I would still cook dinner for us." She giggled and he could hear Edward's voice on the other side.

"Poor guy," Emmett cracked. "Did he run for cover? You didn't make him sick did you?" Bee was an awful cook, and he liked to tease her. Not that he was any better. He wasn't sure how they survived.

"No... I kind of burnt it." She laughed loudly and he joined in.

"She almost set the whole place aflame!" he heard Edward yell in the background.

There were sounds of a scuffle and laughs. "Edward ended up making us this killer omelet. It was to die for."

"Is he staying? I should be there soon."

"Yeah, we rented a movie."

Emmet groaned, "Oh Bee, tell me you didn't." 

"What?" Her innocent tone didn't fool Emmett.

"Which one?" Emmett was smiling, waiting for her to tell him her movie choice. She always picked something that was made in the eighties. He had seen every John Hughes movie ever made, every movie staring Molly Ringwald and John Cusack, but those weren't her favorites.

"April Fool's Day." Campy horror movies were her favorites.

"I don't think I've seen that."

"Nope. I think you'll like this one. Believe me, it's much better than what Edward wanted to watch."

Emmett grinned, pulling into the Taco Bell. "Yeah, what was that?"

"Delta Force." Emmett wasn't sure what that was. "With Chuck Norris." Bee laughed and he heard Edward again, but he couldn't understand what he was saying.

"He loved Chuck Norris when we were kids. I would've thought he'd grown out of that." Emmett shook his head, remembering all the arguments he and Edward used to get into over who would kick whose ass, Chuck or Jean-Claude.

"Listen, I'm going through the drive through at Taco Bell. Are you sure you don't want some nachos?" She loved nachos and Emmett knew she wouldn't be able to say no.

"Ohhh… yeah. That sounds yummy. I guess you should get off here so you can order. See you when you get home."

.

*****I'm keeping this short and sweet because I am really tired. I love your reviews and support, Thank you. Now, I also want to thank Twific Promotions because Broken was the fic of the day on The Twilight Awards. (I would post links, but 'm too damn tired.)**


	17. Chapter 16

*****Thanks to my very supportive beta's JulieGirl and Jessica0306**

*****Disclaimer: You know... I don;t own anyting Twilighty... ydayadayada**

_**Chapter 16- Tired**_

The next week at the library found Edward sitting uncomfortably in his chair across from Bella. She was upset with him and he had no idea why. Had he done something wrong on the night of her birthday? He had escaped from their table before he could do anything stupid, and the rest of the night he had spent with Jessica.

He had focused only on the little brunette, avoiding Bella as much as possible. He hadn't even looked at her until she came over to say she was leaving. He had decided to forgo the pain of watching her and Emmett from the back seat. Why he had driven with them in the first place was still a mystery. It had been torture.

The evening had turned out okay with Jessica as a nice distraction. She was cute and bubbly and gave Edward something else to think about. He hadn't stayed the night with her. She had asked him in, but Edward found that he just couldn't do it and that pissed him off. Why couldn't he get lost in the arms of a woman who wanted him? Why did he have to think about the life changing, bottomless, amber eyes of the one who didn't?

He stared into those same eyes across the table from him. Bella had looked up from the book in front of her and locked eyes with his, an angry scowl on her lips. He raised his brows in question, exasperated with her attitude. "What is wrong with you today?"

Sighing heavily, she shook her head as her eyes crinkled and her head tilted to the side. "Nothing."

"Nothing? Well, your _nothing_ is driving me nuts. How about we call it a night?" He started to get up, figuring he'd had enough and would try again tomorrow.

"Wait." He paused and looked down at her. Her cheeks were tainted a faint pink and her fingers were tapping against the table. "There is something I want to ask you."

Edward sat back down and looked at her expectantly.

"Did you sleep with her?" The question surprised him and he was unable to respond. "I guess that's a yes." Bella looked angry again and she shoved her books in her bag.

Edward reached out and stilled her hands, his hand grasping hers. An answering jolt traveled up his arm and he quickly let go. She stared at her hand, her eyes wide. When she looked up at him, her face was a mask of confusion.

"I don't understand."

_She_ didn't understand. The hell... "Look, Bella. I don't know what's going on. You seem... different. Maybe you just need some time to get yourself together. We can meet up again tomorrow."

The scowl was back, and her eyes flashed at him angrily. "_I_ need to get myself together? You're the one who should be working on that. Do you always hook up with random sluts, Edward? Or was this a first?"

Edward leaned back in his chair while he contemplated her. She was upset about him being with Jessica. _Why? _"I didn't hook up with her. We just had a fun time and then we went home." As she rolled her eyes he reiterated. "Alone... separately."

"You didn't sleep with her?"

"No." He rested his elbows on the table and tentatively reached over to her, his hand again resting on hers. "Did it bother you to think I went home with her?"

Her head jerked up and she pulled her hand away. "Only because I thought she was awful. You could do so much better than her."

"She was nice," he said as his eyes scanned her face. His heart was pounding in his chest as he searched for a sign of some feeling, something to tell him if what he was starting to think was true.

"She was a bimbo."

Giving a harsh laugh, Edward rubbed his hands over his face once before looking at her again. "So this is all because you don't think she's good enough for me. Well... you don't know me all that well and you don't know her at all."

"Are you seeing her again?"

_Why did she care? _"We're going out this weekend."

Bella huffed and glanced to the side, her hands clasped on top of the table. "You _like _her?"

"I don't know yet. Isn't that the point of dating?"

"Whatever..." She stood, throwing on her jacket and her bag over her shoulder.

Edward reached out, grasping her hand firmly and she looked down at him. He tried to read what she was thinking; she looked upset and he wanted to know why. "Bella, why do you care so much?"

"I told you..."

"Why are you so upset about me dating Jessica?"

She glared at their clasped hands before pulling away. "I don't know! It's just… she… and you..." Her cheeks flamed and she closed her eyes, shaking her head. "She just didn't seem like your type. Maybe I was wrong." When she opened her eyes again, they stared at each other. Edward's heart pounded and his brow furrowed as his eyes searched her face.

"Bella…"

"I have to go. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" She left it open as a question and he nodded.

"Of course."

After she left, Edward sat at the table, confused and hurting. He didn't know what the hell was going on with her, but he was tired. He was tired of the jumble of emotions he felt every time he saw her. He was tired of the sickness that he felt when she left.

-xx-

Bella walked briskly down the sidewalk, her lips moving as she silently berated herself for her actions. She didn't understand anything that she was feeling. She tried to break it down, but it was all such a jumbled mess. She was so wound up she was on the verge of tears.

When she walked into the quiet apartment, she breathed a sigh of relief. Here was familiarity. Here she knew exactly how she felt, how she was supposed to feel and act and be.

She made her way into the kitchen to get a glass of water. There were some papers lying on the counter and she read them over as she took a drink. She almost choked when she realized what they were - tickets to New York.

A smile lit up her face. _Emmett. _She ran out of the kitchen and saw a familiar pair of feet hanging off the couch. Finally, feeling good and right and happy, she sailed across the room and dove on him.

She couldn't stop the eruption of giggles, all the tension from earlier escaping with laughter. She placed kisses all over his face as her eyes again filled with tears. "You got the tickets! You wonderful man. We go in March? Oh, Em, I can't wait."

He pulled her in close to him, his smile big, and Bella kissed him once more before burying her face in his neck and breathing deeply.

-xx-

Bella walked into the library, apprehensive and contrite. The more she had thought about yesterday, the more she realized how wrong she had been. She really had no right to tell Edward whom he should and shouldn't date. If he liked frizzy-haired, skanky hoes, that was his prerogative. A brief grin flittered across her face, until she saw Edward sitting in their usual spot.

Her breath caught as she walked toward him. He looked rather disheveled; his hair was more of a mess than usual, his face was covered in a day's growth of beard, and when he looked at her, his eyes were dull and tired. Bella's guilt increased and she sat down next to him, placing her hand on his arm.

He tried to pull away, but her fingers gripped the sleeve of his sweatshirt, holding him in place. "What's wrong?"

Edward shook his head and looked away. "Edward?"

"I don't want to talk about … I _can't_ talk about it."

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I was a real bitch." Bella bit her lip and reached for his chin, pulling him around to face her. "I want to be your friend and if something is bothering you, I want you to feel free to tell me, without the fear of me acting like a harpy."

Edward's eyes bore into hers and for a minute she thought he was going to open up and talk to her, but instead he just smiled. It was a shadow of the smiles she had seen before.

"Really, it's nothing. Let's just get to work, okay?"

Bella nodded, but kept a close eye on him the rest of the night. She invited him over to see Emmett, hoping maybe Edward would talk to him, but he declined. The night ended with a still silent Edward, and Bella squeezed his arm before standing. "Call me if you need anything."

Edward stood and nodded and walked with her outside. "Bye, Bella." He sounded so forlorn that Bella wanted to reach out and stop him from walking away. Her heart gave a tug toward him and she frowned as she watched him walk away.

-xx-

She didn't see or talk to him again until Monday after school. He was there waiting for her and he looked much better. Whatever had been bothering him must have been solved, and Bella was glad to see his smile again.

They studied side by side. He helped her to understand all the new legal terms that were getting thrown at her on a daily basis. "How has class been going lately?" he asked.

"Better. Professor Banner seems to have backed off a little. It's nice. I feel like I may actually be learning something now."

"Hmmm. That's a good thing." Edward smiled and closed the book in front of them. "What do you say we call it a night? I have a few things to take care of at home. You know… I do have some studying of my own to do." He smiled at her and Bella looked down at the table flustered.

"Oh! I have been totally monopolizing your time! I'm so sorry." Bella felt terrible. All she had thought of was herself and her need for help, not about Edward and the fact that he was graduating this year and then had the BAR.

"It's not that big a deal. I have plenty of time usually. I just need a bit more tonight." He stood and put his bag over his shoulder. "You ready?"

They walked outside together just as the sky opened up and rain poured down on them. Edward grabbed her arm and pulled her back underneath the overhang. It was too late though, she was already soaked and it wasn't long before she started to shiver from the cold.

"You know, Bella, this is Seattle in November. You may want to start wearing a coat and carrying an umbrella." Edward shook his head and smiled as he pulled off his jacket. "You're freezing. Here, wear mine." He placed the jacket around her shoulders and pulled it closed.

Bella thanked him, but continued to shiver. The jacket had helped, but she was still cold. Edward ran his hands up and down her arms, trying to generate heat. Bella swallowed as her body flushed and she took a step away from him and back inside.

"Christ, you're still shivering. Come with me." Taking her hand, Edward led her back to the restrooms in the back. "I think they have a hand dryer in there, and if not at least they have towels. You should try to get yourself warm." He brushed her hair back from her forehead and pulled it back behind her, running his hand along it as he tried to pull it into a pony tail.

Bella stood stock still as his hands wound in her hair. Her eyes widened and her pulse pounded. "Thanks."

"Sure." Edward's voice cracked and he cleared his throat, as he stepped back from her. His hands disappeared inside his jean pockets. "You should go." He blinked at her. "Get dry."

Bella went inside, drying herself off as best she could. When she came back out, Edward was waiting for her with a brand new umbrella. "Luckily they sell these up front."

-xx-

Edward texted her later that night, asking for a few days to get his things in order. He stressed that if she needed anything, advice or if she had a question, to call him. Otherwise he would see her next Monday.

Bella frowned, saddened at the thought of not seeing him until then, but shrugged it off. She could live without his help for a few days, she was sure.

-xx-

Edward sent the text and sighed, leaning back into his chair. His place was warm, and he'd turned on the TV. He had lied. He didn't need time off to study; he was doing just fine, but he did need some time away from her.

She was being so nice and… friendly. He almost spat the word. He wanted to reciprocate, and he was doing it, until they went outside. Until she was doused with rain water and her shirt clung to every curve she had. Her nipples had pebbled up under her shirt, and it took every ounce of strength in him to not stare.

She was shaking and shivering so he gave her his jacket, glad to cover her up in more ways than one. Then he had played with her hair, and even wet it had felt like silk. He caught himself winding it through his fingers and dropped it.

He needed a few days to himself. He had a date with Jessica on Saturday. He needed to get his head off of Bella and onto something or someone else.

The next few days were quiet. He studied. He watched TV. He read. He listened to music. On Thursday, he hung out with a couple guys from class, shooting pool and playing darts. He kept busy, but he missed her.

Friday he went grocery shopping and there she was, pushing a cart up the cereal aisle. She wore her hair up, had no make-up on, and was dressed in baggy jeans and an old sweater. He'd never seen her look so beautiful.

*****I need your help. I need a summary. For this story. One that will draw people in... make them want to read it. Is there anyone out there good at summarizing? I suck at it. Anyone? Anyone?**

*****I live for your reviews. Please leave me some words and tell me why you're here. What do you like about the story? Thanks! And for those of you already reviewing- I 3 you. **


	18. Chapter 17

*****Thanks to my betas extraordinaire JulieGirl and Jessica0306. Keep warm ladies! **

*****Disclaimer - These characters are not mine. They belong to Mrs. Meyer.**

_**Chapter 17 - It Happened One Night**_

Bella lifted her gaze from the cereal box and saw him. He had the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up, but she could still tell it was Edward. Her eyes drug over him, watching as his fingers tightened around the jar of sauce he held and his mouth curved upwards into a smile. He walked over to her, his gait slow and cautious. "Hi," he said, his voice wavering a bit.

"Hi." The hood obscured his eyes, but she could still see his lips, and for some reason they fascinated her. They seemed fuller, pinker, just more… there.

They worked to form words and she stared and listened. "Fruity Pebbles, Bella? Really?" he said teasingly and she smiled back, finally lifting her eyes from his lips. Her attention was now brought to his eyes. They stood out against the grey sweatshirt. Startling and vivid, more green than she'd ever seen them… or had she just not been as aware of them before?

Befuddled, she threw the box of cereal in the cart and pushed forward. Edward's eyes widened and he yelled, "Hey!" as the cart connected with his toe. Placing his hand on hers to stop the movement, he grimaced.

"I'm so sorry." Bella pulled the cart backwards, only to connect to his toe again. "Oh my God! I don't… just back up before I take off your foot or something." She was completely mortified. What was wrong with her? She shook her head, throwing off the cloud that seemed to surround her when Edward was around. She needed to pay better attention to what she was doing, instead of staring at his face.

Edward took a step back. "Death by shopping cart?" He smirked at her before looking down at the items in the cart. "Pizza rolls, Doritos, hot dogs… do you eat any _real_ food?"

Bella scowled down at her cart, pulling out the box of macaroni and cheese. "This is real."

He laughed and gave the cart a little push with his injured foot. "Yeah... Okay." Again Bella was caught up in him, this time his smile. Edward smiled with his whole face- his eyes crinkled, his forehead scrunched, his lips opened to reveal white teeth. " I was getting something for dinner. I hate grocery shopping. Walk with me?"

Nodding, she walked down the aisle. "Since I did just injure you and all… you could come over to our place for dinner." It would be good if he came, Emmett would be there.

"And eat what? Macaroni and hot dogs?" He put his spaghetti sauce in the cart and pushed his hands in his pockets. He turned around, walking backwards to see her.

"You know, it's not like jarred spaghetti sauce holds a lot of nutritional value. And no. I'll cook something." Bella blinked and looked down. Had she just said she'd cook? What the hell was she going to cook? She hated cooking.

"In that case, sure. Beats eating alone." There was that forlorn tone to his voice again and Bella glanced up as Edward looked away, but not before she saw the sadness in his eyes. She felt bad again for her attitude towards Jessica. Maybe he did need somebody. Her gut twisted at the thought.

They stood in front of the meat cooler and Bella chewed on her bottom lip, eyeballing the different choices in front of her. Her mom used to make the best pork chops, maybe she could too. Now if only she could remember how to make them.

Edward was watching her, his eyes darting between her and the pork. She grabbed the boneless chops. They looked the easiest, because no way was she going to try and cut out any bones. She shuddered just thinking about it. With an air of false confidence, she headed to the next stop. After selecting potatoes and green beans, they then made their way to the registers.

Edward wanted to pay, but Bella insisted that he was her guest. They compromised on each paying half, although she still thought this was unfair as she had a lot of other items in the cart that weren't for tonight.

On the way home she got a text from Emmett saying that he was helping a customer purchase a car. That meant she would be alone with Edward. Her stomach twisted in trepidation as she swallowed down her own misgivings about that situation.

-xx-

Edward hadn't expected her to invite him over for dinner, but he said yes anyway. She was laughing and smiling and didn't seem angry with him anymore. For this he was grateful and he wanted to spend more time seeing her this way.

As she started cooking dinner, he leaned back on the counter watching her. It was quite amusing. Although she was trying to hide it, he could tell she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. Her back was straight, and her brow was furrowed in concentration as she set the oven and mixed together the ingredients. She popped open a couple beers and handed one to him. The kitchen was getting hot, so he pulled his sweatshirt over his head and threw it over one of the chairs.

The t-shirt clung to his skin and he pulled it away from his torso, fanning himself to cool off. "It _is_ hot," Bella muttered, her eyes flicking over to him and quickly glancing away, her cheeks tinged pink. Clearing her throat, she opened the can of green beans and put  
them on the stove. "Okay, let's get out of here. I'm melting." She walked from the kitchen and he followed closely behind, watching the curve of her neck and the bead of sweat there that rolled down and disappeared underneath her collar. Small pieces of hair, curled and wet, clung to her skin and he wanted to reach out and touch them.

Instead, he turned to look at the pictures that were hanging in her hallway. They were all pictures of her and Emmett and their family. His eyes got stuck on a younger picture of her, like when they first met. She was smiling and holding Emmett. He took another drink of beer, feeling the familiar weight of guilt settle on his shoulders. Edward knew he wasn't technically doing anything wrong by being there. He also knew that his thoughts weren't as pure as his intentions.

Bella stood next to him, pointing at a picture of her and an older man. "That's my dad." She smiled wistfully and pressed a finger to his face. "I miss him a lot sometimes, you know?"

He nodded and they both moved to sit down on the couch.

Conversation was easy as they talked about her classes and what to expect from the ones awaiting her in the future. She asked if he was ready to graduate and he asked if she was excited about interning next quarter. They talked and laughed and he watched. He watched her hands flutter as she motioned about her. He watched her lips pucker and her tongue rewet them as she spoke. He watched as her eyes lit up when she got going about a case she was studying. Her excitement shown through in the way her speech sped up… her legs crossed and uncrossed in front of her… her foot tapped against the coffee table. She played with her hair... a lot. First she would pick up one strand and curl it around her finger, let it go, and then moving on to another.

She got up to get them another beer and answer her phone, and he watched the way she moved, her hips swaying. Her fingers curled around the phone as she texted back a message. When she mentioned Emmett's name, it did nothing to break the spell she had over him. Edward was too far gone.

It wasn't until they smelled the unmistakable scent of smoke that his attention was drawn elsewhere.

Bella's smile fell as a look of shock took over her features. Jumping from the couch, she yelled, "Oh, no!" and ran to the kitchen.

Edward followed closely behind her.

She pulled open the oven and billows of black smoke filled the room. The fire alarm went off, the loud, harsh beeps filling the air. Edward was looking up when Bella screamed and the pot she was holding fell from her bare hands.

Edward scrambled forward and grabbed her, leading her to the sink and turning on the cold water. "Shit! Are you okay?" He briefly looked over her hands before letting go to assess the situation. "Leave them under there while I shut off the alarms." Grabbing a broom from the closet, he waved it over the alarm to dispel the smoke and then he used the handle to turn it off. In the living room, he opened the sliding door, allowing the heat and smoke to escape.

Back in the kitchen, he turned off the stove and oven, grabbed some ice from the fridge and went to help Bella. Her hands were red, blisters already appearing on the tips of a couple of her fingers. Taking her hand in his, he rubbed the ice cube along the blisters carefully. 

The ice was cool and he watched as it melted along her fingers, the droplets pooling along her skin and dripping into the sink. Her hands were soft, and Edward lost himself as he touched them. The ice quickly disappeared, but he continued to touch - his fingers massaging along hers.

After a few minutes he looked up at her. She was watching him, eyes wide, lip caught between her teeth. He quickly let go of her hand. "Better?"

She nodded and wiped her hands on a towel, wincing a little before looking around the kitchen. Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she scowled. "I can't cook."

Muffling his laughter, Edward took a potholder and grabbed the pan from the floor. It was black. "Maybe we can salvage it..."

Bella's eyebrows rose and she stared from him to the pan in disbelief. She took a step forward and poked at the food with her finger. "Ouch! Hot..."

She stood scowling before him, her face pink, hands red, one finger in her mouth and he laughed. She looked cute, and bemused, adorable in her anger. "Edward..." she whined. "What are we going to eat now? I'm sick of pizza."

Stifling his laughter, he asked, "You got eggs?"

Fifteen minutes later, they were sitting down eating a ham and cheese omelet with toast. Bella made the biggest fuss, like it was the best thing in the world and Edward smiled proudly. He ate up her praise like a starving man, lapping at the warmth in her voice.

"You're like Mighty Mouse."

He looked at her, puzzled, cocking his eyebrow. "Mighty Mouse?"

"You know… 'Here I come to save the day' and all that. You swooped around the kitchen like some kind of hero and made this incredible dinner." She smacked her lips as she licked her fingers, and he stared a each digit disappeared between her lips. "You do know who Mighty Mouse is, don't you?" She shook her head at his negative response. "Oh, Lord." Her mouth dropped in disbelief and her eyes rolled back in her head. "How is that even possible?"

She bounced from her chair and grabbed her laptop. He leaned over her shoulder observing as she logged into her YouTube account. She pulled up a video and started it for him. A mouse wearing a cape flew across the screen. He looked up from the computer at Bella.

"So you think I looked like this?" He shook his head and appeared to be wounded, holding his heart. "I really need to work on my hero technique. I thought I looked more like Spiderman, or the Green Lantern at least."

-xx-

Bella was laughing when her phone rang. "Em, hi. Are you on your way home?"

"Yeah, just finishing up."

"That was really sweet of you to help that lady. What was her name?" He was always doing special favors for others. She loved that about him, his total selflessness.

"Mrs. Hale. Clara."

"Yeah…" Bella was distracted by Edward as he stood and turned the laptop toward her.

"… like something?" She only caught the end of Emmett's question; she was trying to see what Edward was dong on the computer.

"Oh... no. I ate already. I ran into Edward at the store and invited him to dinner. When I got your message, I figured I would still cook dinner for us." Edward looked up at her, his face a mask of horror as he waved his arms about. Bella giggled and scowled at him.

"Poor guy," Emmett cracked. "Did he run for cover? You didn't make him sick, did you?"

Bella rolled her eyes. Both Emmett and Edward now, teasing her about her cooking. It wasn't her fault she was helpless in the kitchen. "No... I kind of burnt it."

Edward scoffed and yelled, "She almost set the whole place aflame!" Music started drifting from the laptop. Edward had turned on _Burning Down the House _by the Talking Heads.

Bella flew at him, swatting him on the arm and shutting the laptop. She laughed and punched Edward once more as he feigned injury. He held his arm tightly, weaving about. "First my foot, now my arm…" He laughed and sat down on the couch, smiling and watching her.

"Edward ended up making us this killer omelet. It was to die for." She smiled over at him and he gave a mock bow, mouthing the words _thank you_.

She finished up her talk with Emmett and hung up. Edward was still sitting on the couch watching her. "You're still hungry?" he teased. She had asked Emmett to bring home some nachos.

"I'm always hungry for Taco Bell's nachos." Bella walked past him and grabbed the movie from the table. "He'll be home soon and we can watch."

"Great… can't wait to see what kind of crap you picked out for us to watch." They had stopped and rented a movie on the way back and had an argument over what to get.

"Please! Anything is better than watching Chuck Norris. How can you stand that?" Bella smirked and glanced at him sideways. She knew she hit a nerve. He had gone on for hours about how great Chuck was. "I just can't believe a man as intelligent and worldly as you would want to watch Death Wish 4."

"Hey! Chuck's classic. He's Walker Texas Ranger. You're one to talk - eighties horror movies? Besides, I picked out Delta Force… not Death Wish. Get your movies straight, Bella."

Bella rolled her eyes and scoffed. It amazed her that he like such nonsense, but then again, nothing about Edward was turning out to be what she thought.

"Your kitchen's a bit of a mess. I could help clean it up while we wait." He stood up and reached his hand down to help her stand. Taking his hand, she pulled herself up and together they went into the kitchen. She had forgotten all about the mess in there.

Filling the sink up with sudsy water, they talked about everything and nothing as they did the dishes. Edward washed as she dried and put away. He started teasing her again about her cooking as he scrubbed at the blackened pan and she blushed, mortified.

"You don't do that as much as you used to." Edward was looking at her face, studying her. "Blush, I mean. When I first met you, you could barely look at me without turning red."

Bella smiled and remembered that day and how nervous she had been about meeting Emmett's family. Edward had overwhelmed her- an older college boy, good looking- and she hadn't been able to act right with him around. "I guess I've grown up a bit since then."

Edward looked back at the water, his lips slightly turned in a small smile. "Yes, you have." His eyes flicked back to her, and she could see the admiration in them. "You've grown into a beautiful woman." 

Bella stopped drying the plate she held, caught up in Edward's gaze. It wasn't like she hadn't heard him say that before, but this time her heart flipped in her chest. This time her body hummed as they stared at each other. It felt like hours that they stood there, lost to the world around them when they heard the keys rattle in the lock.

Bella turned from him then to put away the plate before drying her hands and going to say hello to Emmett. Her face was still warm, and when she placed a kiss on Emmett's cheek, all she could think about was the way Edward had been looking at her. 

*****WoW! So… a lot of you expressed your need of Bella and Edward action. Does this suffice? Some wanted her to jump him. Hmm… May I say - Poor Emmett! Bella can't just jump Edward's bones ya know? Patience… **

*****Awesome reviews. I love you. I know I didn't get to answer all of them, but that is because I was writing in my free time. I wanted to get this chapter up. **

*****Keep leaving them. You never know when I might throw in a surprise for ya.**


	19. Chapter 18

*****Thanks to my beta JulieGirl for fixing this up for me and for your encouragement on the story.**

*****I want to give a final thanks and a good luck to Jessica0306. She has been a great beta and supporter throughout this story and my last one. She's about to have a baby and has no more time to spare and I totally understand that! I think all mother's would. **

*****Disclaimer: Stephanie gave us these characters, I just like to send them on hellish journey's. **

_**Chapter 18 - Closer and Farther Away**_

Edward laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about last night. He'd had fun. More fun than he'd had in a long time. That is until Emmett came home. The change in Bella's demeanor after that was startling. She still smiled, but gone was the carefree laugh. Instead, she seemed tense and uncomfortable and Edward felt so bad for making  
her that way that he left before the movie was over.

But before... before Emmett came home, she was transcendent. He thought of her now, laughing and swatting at him as he played music from her laptop. He remembered the connection he felt when their eyes met in the kitchen after he'd told her she was beautiful.

He wondered what might've happened if Emmett hadn't shown up right then. He swore he saw something changing in her, something that made her lean toward him a little more. Damn, he wanted to be like that with her everyday.

He wouldn't get to see her today since it was Saturday. He sighed and turned to look at the clock. It was only six o'clock in the morning and he had nothing to do until he saw Jessica later that evening. He frowned, no longer feeling remotely excited about going out with her. Maybe he should call and cancel.

He stayed in bed another hour, rehashing the prior night's events, recalling every detail and action. When he got up, he'd decided to call Jessica and maybe text Bella to see what her plans for the day were and if Emmett was working at the garage.

-xx- 

They met for coffee at Pike's Place Market. He brought a newspaper and they shared it, each reading through the news and current events. They shared their views on politics and found they were the same. They talked quietly and sipped their coffee. Their hands touched as they traded the sections of the newspaper.

Edward closed his eyes at the jolt that ran up his arm, and Bella ignored the way her heart raced when he said her name.

After they finished, he talked her into walking through the market with him. He was reluctant to let her go, wanting to cherish every moment they had together.

Bella watched his eyes, wondering if they were more green or gray today. It was hard to say and she was afraid to get closer to him to decipher their color. She wondered why it mattered and why she was so caught up in them. A sharp stab of guilt pierced her heart as she realized she was investing too much time with Edward. She was suddenly afraid and decided it was time to go.

Edward was confused over her sudden change. She had gone from warm and comfortable to fidgety and nervous. He walked her to her car and watched as she sped away. He felt empty and frowned as he made his way to his car.

Bella drove to Emmett's garage, deciding to surprise him for lunch. He was really busy and only had time to stop for a few minutes. Emmett was sorry he couldn't have lunch with her, but Bella smiled and said it was okay. She didn't seem okay as she walked away, and Emmett hated the way her shoulders slumped.

When he got home that night, Bella was quiet. They ate dinner not saying much, and she pulled away from him when he tried to hold her while they watched TV. She went to bed early. He hoped tomorrow would be better. It was Sunday and they could spend the day together.

-xx-

The following weeks leading to Thanksgiving were full and busy. Neither Emmett nor Bella had much time to think over what had happened that Saturday. Edward relished in the extra time he seemed to be spending with Bella.

They had coffee on Saturday and met at the library on Monday. Tuesday he saw her at school, walking in between their classes. He walked with her, talking and laughing over her description of Professor Banner's newest malfunction. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday they met at the library. They sat next to each other, huddled over the books that surrounded them. Edward took every opportunity to brush against her arm, lean close to her and smell her hair, or just plain gaze at her.

There was breakfast with her and Angela the next Saturday. After Edward left, Ang quizzed Bella on what was going on. Bella had no idea what she was talking about and Angela shook her head at her. It was obvious to Angela that something was happening between Edward and Bella and she was worried about her friend. Bella assured her that she and Edward were just friends.

They met at library on Monday. Tuesday, he walked her to her classes, carrying her books. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were spent at the library.

Edward and Bella met for lunch in the park on Saturday. It was an unusually warm day and he packed a picnic basket. They sat under a tree where she read and he pretended to, but instead chose to watch her and the way the sunlight shone on her face.

It was back to the library again on Monday and went out for coffee afterwards. On Tuesday, he met her outside Professor Banner's class and talked to the professor before taking Bella by the elbow and walking her across the quad. Wednesday and Thursday they met at the library.

Friday night he met her and Emmett for drinks at a local bar. It was not a good night for Edward. He hated watching Emmett touch Bella and felt incredibly jealous and angry. He hid it well by smiling at his brother and swallowing down his ire. Bella was uncomfortable. She couldn't relax and drank heavily. She ended up passing out in the car on the way home and Emmett had to carry her upstairs. As he laid her in their bed he touched her lips; they were drawn down in a frown. Sighing, he lay next to her pulled her close. Something was lingering in the air between them and he wished Bee would talk to him.

Bella and Edward went to a movie on Saturday, followed by lunch and a walk through the bookstore where he bought her a copy of _The Next Decade _by George Freidman. They had discussed it over lunch on Saturday. Edward had thoroughly enjoyed it and believed Bella would too. On Monday they met at the library again, going out for coffee afterwards and lingering over the apple pie. Wednesday, they met outside the library, deciding instead to go to dinner, where they discussed _The Next Decade_. She loved it, just like Edward thought she would. Thursday and Friday they met at the library and worked on her final paper that was due before Thanksgiving break.

Bella got home late Friday night, and Emmett was sleeping. He had to work early these days and they seemed to keep missing each other. She sat down on the sofa and opened the book Edward bought her, quickly becoming engrossed in the story. Emmett awoke early the next morning. Bella was still sleeping. He gave her a light kiss on the cheek before moving the book that lie open across her lap. He covered her up and left for work, a small frown on his lips and hoping again that tomorrow they would spend the day together. Sunday he wanted to take her to the movies, but she had already seen the picture with Edward. He was disappointed. Instead, they hung out at the apartment, each doing their own thing. Bella read, Emmett surfed the web.

-xx-

Bella awoke on fire, her hair matted to her head, her breathing erratic. The dream lingered in the morning light, without definition, without meaning. Drifting images of naked skin, entwined limbs, and ghostly caresses meandered through her subconscious. Reality drifted in and she shifted in the bed, reaching out for Em.

Her hand came up empty, the sheets cool beside her. Moaning, she turned over to stare at the ceiling. She felt a sharp pang of longing between her legs and pressed her thighs together. A soft moan broke from between her lips.

She tentatively reached down, rubbing over her panties, feeling the wetness through them. She wished Em was there. Her hand strayed under her panties and she pressed her fingers against herself.

The dream started to come back, pictures that made no sense. _Long fingers, running along the inside of her thigh… warm breath on her stomach, wet kisses on her hips. _She arched up into her hand as the pressure tightened. _Hair tickled her stomach; she touched it, running her fingers through it. _Her moan broke the silence in the room as her body moved harder, her eyes were squeezed tightly shut.

Warmth enveloped her as her back arched off the bed, giving in completely to the orgasm ripping through her. _Soft wet kisses moved up along her stomach, up past her breasts, stopping on her lips. A deep, rich voice broke through to her, "Bella…" _

Bella's eyes flew open and she sat up in her bed, clutching her sheet against her chest. That wasn't Emmett's voice.

Bella panicked and jumped from the bed. Her heart thundered as she ran to the bathroom, turning on the water in the shower. She stood under the scalding hot spray, letting the water run over her face, gasping for breath. Her hands held the bath puff, and scrubbed it vigorously against her body, leaving red streaks in its wake. She tried and tried to scrub the dream away, but the memory of it, now clear in her mind, haunted her. Tears ran down her face as she slid down the wall and sat huddled by the side of the tub. She didn't want to admit to the emotions that were filling her. She felt sick, angry, and disgusted with herself. Because how could she possibly be having these feelings for Edward, when she loved his brother?

-xx-

Bella sat at the table next to Emmett while his mother said grace over the meal they were about to enjoy. Alice sat across from her, next to Jasper and Carlisle sat at the head of the table holding Esme's hand. Emmett sat to Bella's right, his arm lying casually around her shoulders. Edward sat on her left. She felt every move he made. The way his shoulders moved with every breath. The heat rolling off of him blanketed her. She was tense and nervous, certain she wouldn't be able to eat a single bite.

Emmett sensed Bee's unease and tightened his arm around her. He was worried about her. She had grown so distant lately and he felt she was hiding from him. She picked at her meal and Emmett, feeling her sadness, no longer felt the desire to eat either. He sat beside her, talking to his family and responding when asked, but he was not the same.

Alice noticed her brother's withdrawal and her eyes narrowed on Bella and Edward. The tension was palpable. Bella's smile was tight, her fork clenched in her fist. Edward sat stiffly beside her, sipping the wine, his eyes darting to and from Bella. She _knew_ it. She had been right in warning Edward to stay away from her. Alice could see the disaster that was about to take place and threw herself in the middle of it, hoping to diffuse the situation and save her family. After dinner she stood and grabbed Bella's hand. "Bella, come with me. There's something I'd like to show you."

Bella followed Alice, glad to get away from the table. She felt she was loosing her mind sitting there between Edward and Emmett. She was surprised that Alice had grabbed her because they had never been especially close. Alice always seemed distant to Bella. "I wanted to show you some ideas I had for mine and Jazz's wedding. I need an unbiased opinion. You'll tell me the truth, won't you?"

Bella nodded and smiled for the first time that night. The rest of her time was spent with Alice going over wedding details and she ended up having a good time. It was nice to talk to Alice.

The tension between Bella and Emmett returned on the car ride home. They sat in silence. Bella stared out the window and Emmett caught glimpses of her from the corner of his eye. Upon entering the apartment Emmett started to kiss her and there was an urgency, almost desperation behind it. Bella gave back, reaching for the heat and warmth she felt whenever she had been with Emmett. He lea her into their bedroom, his hands urgent in their need touched her roughly, pulling her to him, grasping her arms, her breasts.

They fell on the bed in a tangle of limbs. Bella's mind flashed back to her dream, and suddenly her body flamed as green eyes replaced blue, and she moaned; a groan so loud, deep, and full of need that it brought her out of her thoughts. She pulled back from the kiss to see Emmett's blue eyes staring at her . She flinched away from him, hurt and confusion replacing passion. Bella's hand covered her mouth and she began to cry. Her shoulders shook, and her mouth silently begged no. Emmett pulled all the way back from her, his desire extinguished. He wanted to reach for her, hold her and beg to know what was going on, but he was afraid. So he stood and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him in frustration.

*****Thank you to everyone for leaving me a review! You are fantastic and I truly adore you. I love reading what everyone has to say. **

*****So….. What did you think of this one? Not much dialogue, but a lot of interaction and time going by. **

*****I am down one beta. I asked for prereader's before, but decided against it. Now I really need one. Any offers? I would love to get some early opinions. **


	20. Chapter 19

*****Thanks to my new pre-reader RoryCullen. You're reviews inspired me, now your thoughts shall enlighten me. **

*****A big shout out to my one and only beta JulieGirl. You have your work cut out for you, hon. Thanks for all you do. **

*****The usual disclaimer: Em, Ed, and Bee aren't mine. But damn do I wish those boys were!**

_**Chapter 19 - Something's Got to Give**_

When Bella woke up the next morning, her mouth was dry and her eyes were gritty. She stumbled into the bathroom to wash her face. The girl staring back at her in the mirror was barely recognizable. She had red, puffy eyes, swollen lips, and ratty hair. She looked like she hadn't slept because she hadn't. She had cried all night.

After Emmett had walked away, she had laid in bed hoping he would come back so she could apologize, though what she would say she was apologizing for, she didn't know. But he hadn't come back and when the bathroom door finally opened, Emmett had only grabbed his pillow before going out to sleep on the couch.

Bella knew she had to face him now, but was unsure of what she was going to say. Everything she was feeling was so confusing. Edward was causing her to do things and act in ways that made no sense.

She slipped into the shower, trying to let the hot water relax her. She cleared her mind, concentrating on only the warm water and the soft sounds it made while hitting her skin.

When she got out, she was ready to face Emmett, apologize, and try to make things better. She _wasn't _ready for Edward to be standing in her kitchen. She _wasn't _ready for the heat in his eyes when he looked up at her. She _wasn't_ ready for the coiling tightness in her stomach.

"What are you doing here?" she asked harshly. Her cheeks flushed as she heard the biting tone of her voice and saw the hurt look in Edward's eyes.

Emmett stepped into the kitchen and glanced her way. "My car wouldn't start this morning. Edward came to give me a lift."

Bella nodded while pouring a cup of coffee. The pot shook in her hand and she had to brace it with her other before she spilt coffee on the counter. She took a deep breath, assuring herself that she was okay, that Emmett and Edward would both be leaving soon and she would be alone.

She went into the living room, taking a seat on the sofa and curling her legs beneath her. Emmett came and sat by her side, his eyes meeting hers, a small frown on his face. He reached up and caressed her cheek lightly. "I'm sorry about last night."

She was about to speak when she felt the cushions on her other side sink in. Edward was sitting beside her. He leaned back and covered his eyes with his arm, his long legs stretching out in front of him. It felt like he was watching her,and the thought of Edward watching her and Emmett made her uncomfortable. His leg brushed against hers and she shifted her position further away from him. On her other side, Emmett scowled over at him before taking her hand and giving it a little squeeze. Bella's stomach turned and she felt ill. Her head swirled with her thoughts and she felt she would jump out of her skin, if someone didn't get up and move.

"Edward, can we have a minute?" Emmett asked.

Edward moved to get up, his leg pressing closer to her, and heat seared up her thigh.

_Can't I just sit here like a normal person and not feel this way? Why is my heart racing? Why is my skin tingling? Why is he touching me? God, I want him. No! Why? How can that be? I've been in love with Emmett for three years. Why is that changing?  
_  
Bella felt so lost that it scared her.

Edward's arm fell down to his side and he looked over at her, like he knew exactly what she was thinking. His eyes are so intense. Emmett's hand tightened around hers and she became increasingly aware of her position. Stuck between the two men. The irony of it didn't surpass her. She got it. There was a warm hand against her knee. It was Edward's.

_Is he trying to reassure me or drive me insane? _Could he read everything she was thinking? And if he could, could Emmett? Emmett always knew what she was thinking. Had that changed, too? How could he not see what was going on?

_If I don't get away from here soon, I'm going to burst into tears_. They were pressing down in her chest. Her lips trembled and she pushed up off the sofa as her stomach heaved and she clamped her hand over her mouth. Darting to the bathroom, she barely made it to the toilet before she threw up everything she'd just drank.

There was a gentle knock on the door and Emmett asked, "Bella, are you alright?"

She couldn't answer because the tears were falling. He opened the door, and Edward was standing behind him, a frown on his lips and worry in his eyes. Emmett knelt before her and stroked her hair.

-xx-

Emmett took Edward aside, leaving Bella in the bathroom to clean up. "Just give me a few minutes. I want to make sure she's okay. I may stay. Can you wait outside?" Emmett needed to speak to Bella alone. He hated seeing her this way.

Edward nodded and Emmett turned to go back to his girl. She had come out of the bathroom and was sitting at the table staring at nothing, her arms folded under her head. She blinked, and breathed, but was otherwise still. Emmett stood next to her watching her, a deep frown marring his features.

"Bee?" He stood and walked over to her, his fingers running through her hair. "What's wrong?"

Bella shook her head, her eyes closed. She swallowed harshly, a tightness in her chest making it hard to breath.

Emmett kneeled beside her, taking her face between hir hands. "What's happened? You have to talk to me. I'm worried about you." He didn't say he was also afraid. He felt like Bella was so far away from him and he desperately wanted to pull her back.

"I'm sorry." Bella, squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. Do you want me to stay here with you? I could call Jake, see if he could work today."

"No… I have a few things I need to do anyway. Go. I'll se you later." Bella forced herself to look up at him with a small smile.

Emmett kissed her lips softly. "Feel better. I love you. Call me if you need anything." He left then, with a strong sense of misgiving. He really wanted to stay with her, but she seemed to want to be alone.

-xx-

The entire drive to the garage, Edward was contemplating going back to see her. He needed to know if she was okay. When Bella had gotten sick, Edward had felt the need to comfort her, to take care of her. The compulsion to push Emmet aside had been strong.

He hated watching as his brother had comforted his girlfriend. Soothed her, babied her. Edward had wanted to scream. _He_ wanted to be the one doing that. _He_ wanted to make Bella feel better, to tell her he knew what she was dealing with. He _knew_. Maybe she hadn't said anything yet, but the pull between them was stronger and Edward was sure he saw want and indecision in her eyes.

It was wrong. His eyes flicked over to his brother, but his compulsion to see her was greater than his guilt.

After dropping Emmett off, he headed back to Bella.

-xx-

The soft knock on the door woke Bella from her slumber. She had lain down on the sofa after the guys left, exhausted and torn. Her mind couldn't handle all the questions swimming in it and had shut down.

She opened the door, and stood gaping at the man in front of her… Edward. It was too much. The site of him made her stomach heave again. Her mind awoke and started spouting off nonsense. Bella felt like she was loosing her hold on her sanity. She wanted to run- she wanted to stay. Never before in her life had she been so overwhelmingly confused.

Her hands shook and she pulled tightly at her shirt, tugging and twisting the material in between them. His closeness unnerved her. She could feel the heat radiating off of him, smell his musky scent, and see the fire that burned on his eyes. She shuddered as the burn raced down her spine.

What was wrong with her? Why was this happening? She was terrified by her body's reactions to him; by the way her pulse leapt, her breathing quickened, and stomach clenched. Bella was determined to ignore these feelings, to push them aside, but they kept pushing back and nothing she did seemed to work.

"Bella?" Edward's questioning gaze met her panicked one. His eyes roamed over her, taking in her shaking hands, rapid shallow breaths. His own heart began to thunder so loud he could barely hear himself speak.

They were getting lost in each other - startled, unsure, and frightened. "Bella?" Edward's fingers reached out and traced a path across the top of her hand.

She stopped breathing, her eyes briefly fluttering closed. "You should go." Her eyes flew open, silently pleading with him to let her be.

"I just wanted to be sure you were okay." Edward took a hesitant step toward her. "I thought maybe since you weren't feeling well, you might need something. Tea? Soup?" He knew he sounded like an idiot, but he didn't want to leave her. He wanted to be there for her, to take care of her. He wanted to feel the closeness that was always there when they were together.

Bella shook her head. "You should go."

"Why?" He asked, his brow furrowing, his gaze searching.

"Edward… please."

He moved closer and she took a step back, coming into contact with the wall behind her. He leaned over her, close... so close. Bella looked up at him, her wide-eyed, uncertain look meeting his. He angled his face so that his lips hovered above hers. His tongue peeked out, wetting them, and she shivered, standing perfectly still. Her breath came out in shallow gasps.

His finger traced the line of her jaw and up along her cheek. She rested her clenched fists against his hips as her heart pounded in her chest like it was trying to break free. She felt dizzy and overwhelmed, and there was a pulsing deep inside her that was making it difficult to breathe.

A door closed down the hall. Bella jumped and pulled back from him.

Edward glanced over his shoulder, but no one was there so he turned back to her. She was staring at him, stunned. Her hand covered her mouth, her eyes were narrowed, and watery.

"Edward?" she questioned, not sure what to say or do. Her heart began to ache and the buried feeling of guilt reappeared. She couldn't move as he was still holding her against the wall and her chest started to feel tight.

She needed to get away. What was she doing? What were _they _doing? Her hands shook as she pushed at him. "Get away. You... you need to go."

"Bella, no, no... I …" He looked over her shoulder at the photos on the wall and all the color drained from his face. Pain gripped his heart and he wanted to yell... to scream out his guilt and his want.

"Edward, please! Just go."

"Will I see you Monday?" he asked desperately. Even after the piercing of guilt he couldn't stay away from her.

She looked at him, willing her mouth to work around the word no. To tell him she couldn't see him anymore. But the words wouldn't form.

She nodded, stepping around him and walking away, going into her bedroom and shutting the door.

Edward stood there for a minute staring at the spot where she had just stood before his gaze once again focused on the pictures and the people in them. Emmett… God, what was he doing? How could he?

How couldhe not?

_-xx-_

The drive to the garage was quiet. Emmett was lost in his thoughts of Bee and what he was going to do to get her to talk to him. He had to know why she was suddenly so upset. What had happened? One minute they were laughing and planning the trip to New York; the next she was crying and pushing him away, moving away from his touch, turning from his gaze.

It hurt like hell.

Once at the garage, Emmett buried himself in his work, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. He was so distracted that twice his hand slipped off the socket wrench he was wielding. He rubbed the crease in his forehead, leaving a smudge of grease behind. He cursed the unmoving bolt, working his hand down further into the engine.

What was Bella doing right now? Was she still not feeling well? He wanted to call her, but something was stopping him. He'd never had doubts before when it came to her, but now he wasn't sure if she would want to hear from him. He knew the sadness in her had something to do with him… them. Was it New York and her dream to go to NYU? Was it the pressure of school? Was it something more? Something he didn't want to think about? Maybe she didn't not want to be with him anymore? Were her feelings changing?

Emmett swallowed harshly, his eyes widening at the thought. His hand slipped, and a sharp pain burned along his palm. "Fuck! Oh, fuck!." Pulling his hand out, he blanched at the site of his finger, at the jagged cut, and the blood running down his arm.

Jake rushed over to him. "Holy shit! That's bad. We need to get you to the hospital."

Emmett just stood there, wondering if he should call Bella.

*****I cannot believe how awesome you guys are! I asked for some help on the story.. I needed a pre-reader and the response was amazing. I wanted to say yes to all of you, and it was very hard to choose. Thank you so much!**

*****I am going to be bringing in one more pre-reader for the next chapter. AnotherJen. She's fabulous and has always been a great supporter of my story. I can't wait to start working with her! **

_***_**I have one question for you? Did you think they were going to kiss? You did didn't you? I actually wrote them kissing and then changed my mind. Neither was ready yet. Wahahahaha!**


	21. Chapter 20

*****I need to give big thanks to my "crew". AnotherJen- pre-reader, awesome enthusiast. RoryCullen- pre-reader, and the reason you don't hate Bella this chapter (you'll see). My beta - JulieGirl, long time ally in destructive punctuation. I never could have gotten through this chapter without all of you! **

*****Disclaimer: If Stephanie's Bella and Emmett were like these two, would we still have loved Edward as much?**

**Chapter 20 - In the End**

Bella was exhausted. She had been tired before the confrontation with Edward, but now she felt even worse. He had almost kissed her and she had almost let him. Why would she do that? She sat on the bed and stared blankly at the wall.

Her mind raced between green eyes and blue, between warmth and scorching heat. She didn't realize she was crying until the tears bounced off her hands as they fell down onto her lap. Curling up into a ball, she dozed, and dreamt of the lake and being young and in love.

_She was with Emmett, watching him toss the football with Mike Newton. She sat on his truck hood in her bikini, letting the sun warm her and listening idly to Jessica prattle. Em turned to her, a big smile lighting up his face, dimples deep, eyes sparkling. She smiled back, but then her heart giving a lurch as he tripped and fell in the water. She watched the surface of the water, waiting for it to break. When it didn't, she stood and rushed to the waters edge, her eyes darting about desperately. She couldn't see Emmett. _

_She turned to get Mike to help her, but he was gone. The sky darkened and the wind picked up as the first raindrops landed on Bella.  
_  
_Emmett!" she yelled. When she got no answer, she dove into the water, but it was hard to swim. The lake was rough from the storm, and the current kept trying to pull her further away. "Emmett!" Something grasped her around her waist and pulled her away from the water, away from Emmett. "No! Em! Emmett is in there..." She struggled within the strange grasp, panicking and yelling, but she kept getting pulled toward the shore. _

_Lightening flashed across the now dark sky and she gasped as the heat from it raced down her spine and settled in her stomach._

She heard a yell behind her as she was yanked out onto the sand. She turned, glaring over her shoulder and Edward was standing next to her, rain soaked and breathing heavily. He was the one who had tore her away. "You have to let him go, Bella. I've got you. Let me help you." His eyes flashed down her, and she felt herself grow limp in his arms. "I've got you," he said again.

Weakly, she fought against his hold. "No! He's lost. I can't leave him. He could be hurt. Emmett!" she yelled as Edward gathered her in close, firmly holding her to him. "Emmett!" Her voice cracked and the yell turned into a sob. "I can't."

Strong hands gripped her arms, forcibly shaking her. "Bella! Bee... baby, wake up. I'm right here."

Bella's eyes flew open, connecting with worried blue ones and she burst into tears, flinging herself against him. "Emmett." She cried, and sobbed for what felt like forever, while Emmett sat there and ran his hand along her hair, whispering softly.

"It's okay, baby. I'm right here, Bee... Shhh..."

Bella glanced down where his hand lay on his lap and gasped at the bandage there. "What happened?"

"It was stupid. I wasn't paying enough attention at work and I cut myself. No big deal, just a few stitches."

A few stitches? "You went to the hospital?" All the fear and worry from the dream pounced back into her and she pushed away from him and took his injured hand. "Why didn't you call me? You were hurt? Oh, God, are you okay?" The now familiar feeling of nausea flowed over her as she pictured Emmett hurt and bleeding.

He tried to hold her again. He could see the panic in her eyes, the tenseness in her face, but Bella stood and began pacing the room. A frantic aura surrounded her as she pulled and tugged at her clothing and hair. A riot of words fell from her lips rapidly, but he couldn't understand her. He made out a few words. "Hurt… pain… lost…"

He got up and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Bee, calm down. I'm okay."

"You didn't call. Why didn't you call?" She stared at him accusingly and Emmett shook his head, confusion over her present and past behavior settling like a rock in his chest. The first stirrings of anger bubbled within him, and all the turmoil he had dealt with earlier rose in him.

"It's not like things are normal around here. You won't talk to me. We haven't exactly been spending a lot of time together. Hell, I wasn't even sure you'd want me to call or that you'd care." He looked at her flushed face and stopped. His hand hurt and he really didn't feel like having this conversation right now.

All of Bella's pent up emotions surged forward as she jerked out of his grasp. She didn't even know what she was saying as the words spewed from her lips. "We don't spend time together? That's because you're always at work! You used to say _I _was never here. Now you're not! And… at least it was so I could study. But you… you quit school! How could you quit? What kind of future is _that_? I have years left - years! What are you going to do until then?" Her face reddened and twisted in an anger Emmett had never seen from her before. "Then there's New York and this _stupid _apartment. I hate it! I hate being trapped here. I can't breathe. I want to go... do things… be somebody. But you want to stay here. No! You want to move back to Forks. Forks! I never want to go back there. I fucking hate it there!" Bella stopped for a second, her breath leaving her as she deflated, her soul floundering as she struggled to right herself. Softly she spoke the next words. "And then Edward… he's your _brother_ and he's helping me study… but…" Suddenly aware of her horrible words, she shuddered. Her eyes were wide and swimming with unshed tears as she stared at him. Her hand covered her mouth and her knees almost gave out from beneath her. "Oh God, I'm so sorry… Emmett, I didn't mean .. I just… I can't do this anymore!"

Emmett's face was ashen and his mouth slack as he stared at her in astonishment. "Jesus, Bella." Slowly, he took a step back, faltered, and leaned heavily on the wall.

The hurt in his eyes almost tore Bella apart. She had to look away. Her chest heaved and tears poured down her face. "I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. Then you come home hurt and…" Her head shook, her hands wrung in front of her. "I can't stand to see you hurt, Em." Bella's sobs echoed throughout the quiet room.

She stood before him, broken, but this time he didn't go to comfort her. He'd never felt further from her than he did at this moment. He couldn't believe all the things she had said, all that she had been holding in. His eyes fixed on a small spot in the carpet - concentrated on it as he tried to pull himself together.

Bella's heart cracked a little further and she shook her head. "Em, I .." but she didn't know what to say. She knew she couldn't fix it, couldn't take back what she had done.

Emmett breathed a small sigh, not sure if he wanted to stay, but knowing he needed to get some space away from her to think. "My hand hurts. I'm going to take a few of the pills the doc gave me and lay down for a bit."

"Does it hurt much?"

His head turned toward her and she caught a glimpse of his eyes. They were filled with hurt and pain. Bella, gasped and her breathing stuttered. "Emmett…"

He held his hand up, stopping her. "No, Bella… I'm tired. I just want…" His voice trailed off as he headed back to the bedroom with his shoulders slumped and head bowed low.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as her legs finally gave out and she slid to the floor. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she rocked herself, silently weeping. Her whole world was turned upside down.

She stayed there long after Emmett had fallen asleep and the room had grown dark. She heard him as he tossed around in the bed, his small moans of discomfort catching at her heart. Walking into the bedroom , she stood by the bed worrying her lip and wanting to help him. He was restless, maybe dreaming. His body was tense and his feet and hands moved against the bed.

Without a word, she laid next to him. Her fingers played along the back of his head, tickling at the hair lying on the nape of his neck. Slowly, Emmett's tossing slowed as he calmed under her touch. His breathing evened out, once again falling into the gentle cadence of sleep.

She looked at the back of the head and broad shoulders that had become so familiar to her over the years. The creeping warmth, the safe, cocooning feeling of home she usually got when next to him, was absent. She felt alone and scared.

-xx-

Bella awoke to warm kisses on her shoulder, strong hands running along her hips, and a whispered voice in her ear. "Bee, please, I need you. Please..."

She turned her face toward him, and his lips met hers in a fervent kiss. "Don't turn away from me.," His words broke through the kiss, ragged and breathy. "I love you... please." He gripped her tightly and pulled her against him.

She gave in to the kiss, laying her hands on his shoulders, fisting them against his skin. It was soft and warm, but where was the heat, the fluttering in her stomach, or the rapid pulsing of her heart? Desperate to feel that again, she gripped him tightly and opened her  
mouth under his.

His touch was urgent, his fingers desperate and wanting. His breath poured over her as he gasped out his heart. "I love you. God, Bee… I love you."

Bella felt different. Everything had changed. As he made love to her she began to cry.

Emmett looked down on her and ran his thumb along her cheek, catching her tears. His face contorted and he pulled her closer, burying his face in her neck. "We can fix this. I can make it better."

She felt cool droplets hit her shoulder. He was crying. Oh God, Emmett was crying. Her arms wrapped around him and held him tight.

After, she laid on her back, separate from him, not touching, staring at the ceiling. He lay on his side on the far side of the bed, curled into himself, his breathing deep, his eyes wide open. He was falling apart, cracking, breaking, and his heart was shriveling. Whatever he had hoped for was lost. Everything had changed, _she_ had changed. Damn, he loved her so much, but to Emmett one thing was obvious - Bella's feelings toward him were shifting. He wanted to make it right. He wanted her back the way it was before.

"Is there anything I can do?" She sniffled beside him, but didn't answer. "You know I'd move to New York? If that's really what you want. If you want NYU, I would go with you. I love you, Bella. I would do anything for you."

"Emmett…" her voice quavered, and she reached over to take his hand in hers. "I don't know... maybe I just need some time."

He wanted to ask her if she still loved him, but he was afraid of her answer. As it was he could barely get the question he did ask out. "Are you leaving?"

"Do you want me to?" Bella felt like she was going to die. Everything hurt and she squeezed his hand, hanging on for dear life.

"God, no! Of course not." He squeezed back and turned over to face her.

They lay quietly in the dark looking at each other. He reached out as if to touch her, but his hand dropped useless between them. Finally Bella's eyes started to droop and he watched as she fell asleep, still clutching his hand.

*****Crap. I cried. Did you? This took forever to write. It was hard, hard, hard! I hope I did it justice. These two are killing me right now. **

*****I know I didn't reply to your lovely reviews and I can't apologize enough. (I always seem to be saying, I'm sorry lately) I read them all and love you all and can't believe the support you give me. Thank you so much. **


	22. Chapter 21

*****Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers - AnotherJenny and RoryCullen. You guys rock and if I didn't have you this chapter would not be what it is.**

*****Thanks to JulieGirl my fabulous beta. My commas are horrendous, my timing os bad. Thanks for you speedy reply so I could get this out before I leave.**

*****Disclaimer: I am not the creator of Edward, Emmett, nor Bella. I just like to play with them.**

_**Chapter 21 - Breaking Point**_

Edward could still feel the warmth of her breath across his lips. He could smell her on his clothing and he could see her standing in front of him, her eyes staring deep into his. He couldn't stop thinking about the almost kiss. He wished he had done it; despite the guilt,  
the pain, he regretted not kissing her.

This pull he had toward Bella was getting uncontrollable and he was tired of fighting it. Maybe she wasn't meant to be with Emmett. Maybe she was supposed to be with him. After all, if she had feelings toward him - which Edward believed she did - things with Emmett must not be right.

He couldn't deny that Emmett loved her though. There was no doubt about it, and Edward knew his brother would be hurt badly if things between he and Bella progressed.

Still, he wanted her.

Monday came fast and he sat impatiently waiting for her at the library. When she arrived, he watched as she walked across the room, his gaze never leaving her. His eyes trailed up her body and over her face. She looked lovely, but pale and she would not meet his gaze.

"Bella."

She nodded before taking the chair across from him. She quickly laid her books on the table and began going over the weeks assignments. She was very businesslike and there were no signs of the warmth she had displayed in their earlier meetings.

"Would you like to go for a coffee afterward?" he asked with hopes of getting her somewhere more comfortable so they could talk.

"No. I need to go home. I have to see Emmett."

The breath left Edward in a rush as he slumped over the table. She was leaving already, to see his brother. "Bella?" It seemed all he could say was her name, the rest of his words were left lodged in his throat.

"I have to go. He was hurt at work and he took the day off."

Edward raised his head, his shoulders tensed and his head tilted. "Hurt? What happened?"

"He sliced his finger. He wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and he hurt himself."

"That doesn't sound like him..." His voice trailed off as Bella scowled darkly at him, her eyes taking on a glow.

"It was my fault… because I was acting so stupid. He deserves better." She glanced at him pointedly and he understood her meaning.

He sat still as she walked away, until the panic began to over take him. Was she gone for good? Would he see her tomorrow or the next day? He hastily pushed his chair back, not stopping as it clattered to the floor. He nearly ran outside, but she was already gone. His heart pounded, fast and strong, and it was difficult to breathe. He leaned heavily against the wall trying to catch his breath as a wave of helplessness rushed over him. 

On Tuesday he met her outside her class like he had grown accustomed to doing, but it was obvious that she was not happy to see him. She walked far ahead of him, keeping her eyes on the ground.

"Bella." He called to her, but she ignored him, choosing not to answer.

He rushed to keep up with her, and he tried to see her face, but her hair hung down covering her. He wanted to reach out and take her arm, stop her and move her hair out of the way so he could see, demand that she speak to him. But he didn't. He just walked steadily along beside her until she disappeared inside her next class and he had to leave to go to his.

On Wednesday, he waited at the library for her. He texted her but got no response. He sat at the library table with his head in his hands for two hours hoping she would show up. He tried to read, tried to do some of his own work, but he couldn't concentrate. All he could think of was her. His fingers tugged at his hair and wiped down his face. His leg shook impatiently under the table. He watched the door and checked the clock constantly, but no Bella.

When he left, he was slow at getting home. He had no energy, no need to hurry back to his empty apartment. It was a long walk.

He met her at class again on Thursday. He couldn't help it. He couldn't stay away. He needed to see her. "Bella, what is it? What's going on? Why are you avoiding me, ignoring me? I'm sorry about the other day, but I …"

"I'm spending Christmas with my parents." She caught him off guard and he stopped, a puzzled frown marring his face.

"You're not going with…" the name got caught in his throat and he coughed and tried again. "You're not going to my parents?"

She blanched, blinked rapidly, and focused hard on her hands that were gripped around a book tightly. She continued moving forward, distancing herself from him.

He caught up with her and stared at her pale cheeks, her shifting eyes as they landed on anything but him. "Bella?"

"I just need to go home."

He could tell she was lying. She still refused to look at him, and her breathing was shallow and fast. He reached out and touched her arm. "Bella, what is it?"

Finally, her eyes met his, and they were narrowed and angry. "Emmet and I are having some… we… damn it, Edward! We are just spending a few days apart, okay?"

Edward leaned in closer to her. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" she whispered, then her voice rose, becoming strong and biting. "Why are you asking _me_ about this? He's your _brother_. Maybe you should go talk to him, lend him a shoulder. See how he feels. That is what you're supposed to do. Right? As his _brother_."

Pain ripped into him like she had stabbed him and he flinched away from her, his steps faltered. She quickened her pace, hurriedly striding down the sidewalk. When she was a few steps away from him, she shook her head, stopped and glared over at him. "I hate you."

The look he got from her was anything but hateful and he knew it. The problem wasn't that she hated him. She felt the same way he did; she wanted him and it was eating her alive.

She turned and walked away from him, but damned if he was going to let her get away now. Now that he knew, now that he was certain about it. He may go to hell for it, he may regret it later, but right then all he wanted was her. Damn himself, damn his brother, damn his heart. He wanted to hold her, to touch her. He couldn't avoid it anymore.

"Bella!" She rushed toward the corner, walking fast. "Bella!" He ran, needing to catch up to her. He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop and yanking her around the corner against a building.

She struggled against him. "Let me go!"

"No. I can't. I can't stay away from you anymore." His hands curled up around her jaw and his fingers splayed across her cheeks. His lips met hers, softly at first, but then harder, needy and passionate. Her lips gave under his and he felt himself slip away, his thoughts a tangled mix of emotions. She felt incredible, and his body leaned in to fit against hers. His hands slipped down to caress her arms and she shivered at his touch. "Bella," he whispered, breaking the kiss to move his lips down along her jaw and over her neck.

He had never wanted anything in his life as much as he wanted this girl, and all the reasons he had to stay away slipped from his mind as she melted into his arms. He gasped when her fingers tangled in his hair and gave a tug. She was responding. He was right, she did want him.

A surge of power and completion raced through his body. His mouth found hers again and his tongue slipped inside, finding hers. She moaned and he felt joy and elation. He pulled her impossibly closer, his hands sliding further down to run along her stomach, his fingers hooking the bottom of her shirt and pushing it up, giving him access to her skin.

She tensed against him, so he lightened the kiss, stopping to murmur words of assurance and want. "You're so soft, so beautiful. God, I want you so badly, have wanted you for so long." His fingers tickled across her skin, up along her rib cage and under her breasts, fingering the cup of her bra. He graced her nipple and she jerked in his hand, her body tensing, her lips no longer moving against his. "Please… Bella, don't… I lo…"

"I can't. We can't do this. Edward, stop. We have to stop."

He nestled in between her legs, pressing his hardness against her heat. His hand cupped her breast and the other moved to tangle in her hair and hold her in place. His mouth was urgent and demanding, and his teeth nipped her bottom lip, wanting to punish her for trying to push him away. He was out of control and he knew it, but he couldn't stop.

"Edward…"

He wanted her with an urgency so hard he trembled from it. "Choose _me_." He squeezed her breast possessively and licked along the shell of her ear. "Be with me." He needed her to know how he felt, how much he yearned for her.

"I can't," she sobbed, yet continued to hold him tight, her body giving her away.

"Fuck… I know you feel it, Bella!" His hand slid down, cupping between her legs, stroking along the seam of her pants. He was pushing her, trying to get a response, some acknowledgement of her feelings. He pulled back away from her mouth to watch her face, searching for an answer there. She was gazing at him, wide eyed and panting, worry and desire etched on her face. Her eyes… her eyes were full of heat and he grunted as his fingers caught the snap of her jeans. Her hips jerked back away from him as her hand encircled his wrist and yanked him away.

"Stop!" Her other hand came up and pushed at his chest, pushing him further away.

Why was she stopping him? God, he didn't want to stop. He wanted to feel her, touch her. "You want me. Say you want me." His voice was gruff and deep with his desire. He slowly began to come back to himself as her face crumpled in front of him. "God damn it…" Edward's hands pulled through his hair roughly as he stepped back. "Bella, just…say you want _me_." He wanted her to admit it. He wanted to hear her say she needed him as much as he needed her.

"You know I do," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Please… I can't do this by myself. I don't have the strength to resist you. You have to help me. We can't do this to your brother. He's a good man and doesn't deserve it." Her hands fisted at her sides. "Think of Em."

"Fuck…" he murmured. He wanted her so badly, and part of him didn't care about the consequences. .

Her body sagged toward his and he moved to hold her tight. When her shoulders started to shake, his hand lifted to raise her face so he could see. Tears were wetting her cheeks.

"I have to go. He's waiting for me. He's still hurting, he needs me. I have to go…" Bella backed away from him again and Edward's whole body felt bereft. He was empty.

"I'm hurting too, Bella. Please... don't go. I need you too."

Bella shook her head and turned from him. "I have to go." A sob racked through her body as she ran away.

Edward leaned back against the wall. He could still smell her all over him, but it didn't bring him joy. He heard her again saying she hated him. The words cut through his heart and burned his soul. She _should_ hate him; he hated himself for what he was doing. He raised his face to the sky and cursed loudly, the sound ringing out around him.

*****Ohhhhh… so they kissed. Was it as good for you as it was for me, or was it too heart wrenching? **

*****Love, love, love all your reviews and everyone who is coming by to read my little story. You guts are awesome. **

*****I am going to see Rob this weekend in New York City! That's right I am going to the WFE premiere. It is going to be a life altering experience. I mean.. Seeing that man up close is bound to change me forever. Squee! Follow me on twitter jarielynn. I will try to post pics. **


	23. Chapter 22

*****I'm back! Thanks for waiting.**

*****Disclaimer: Still Stephanies. **

"I'm hurting too, Bella. Please... don't go. I need you too."

She faltered. She wanted to turn around and go back to him, but she couldn't. She shook her head and looked at Edward one last time. "I have to go." The pressure in her chest exploded, and the sob that ripped from her throat was tortured.

She ran from him… _again_. Afraid she would turn around, she forced herself to focus on Emmett. He was waiting for her at home.

She walked quickly, her feet making soft sounds as they hit the sidewalk. She tried to concentrate on walking, one foot in front of the other. But she could still feel Edward's lips on hers, could still feel his hands on her skin.

Guilt hung like a dead weight around her neck. Emmett… oh, Em… what was she going to do? This week had been so awful at home- the silence, the fighting, the hurtful stares. Her mind flashed back, her guilt making her go over the past week with Emmett, reminding her how she had hurt him.

_Earlier That Week… _

Emmett's eyes were heavy, but he refused to close them. Slowly, he blinked and focused, and blinked again. He didn't want to fall asleep. This would be the last time he would lay with Bella like this. He knew it, felt it deep in his soul. She was going to leave him. If not tomorrow, then soon. He wondered again, what he could have done differently. If only he'd known earlier about New York, maybe that could've changed things.

He would go with her if she wanted him to. He was sure he could've made it work somehow. Home was wherever she was, didn't she realize that? Or did it just not matter? She was right, he did want to settle down and get married. Was that wrong? He wanted to be with her forever. He couldn't picture living a life with anyone else.

He traced his finger over her knuckle and along the curve of her hand. She made a little breathy noise and he looked up, afraid he had woken her. She was still asleep. He yearned to reach out and pull her close. Instead, his gaze followed a path down along her face, her neck, and the slope of her shoulders.

He couldn't bear it anymore. His hands twitched uselessly, as his jaw clenched and he blinked rapidly. He couldn't touch her. He wouldn't give in to the tears. Finally, he shut his eyes praying for blackness to over take him and let him sleep.

He awoke the next morning alone, but he could still feel her warmth beside him. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Emmett ran his hand over his head. He could smell coffee brewing as the sunlight made its way into their room. It was just another day, but to him it was anything but normal. He couldn't go back to work. He couldn't even visit Bee on campus… not now.

What was he going to do? The thought of sitting around the apartment alone made him queasy.

In the kitchen, Bella was drinking coffee from her favorite mug. It was one he had gotten her for one of her birthdays. It had Shakespearean quotes about love printed on it. He couldn't help but see the irony of it. They were both quiet, neither knowing what to say.

When she left she hesitated, her steps faltering, her mouth opening. He waited for her to say something… anything, but she left without even a goodbye.

He ended up lying on the sofa in his pajama bottoms, watching TV and dozing all day. There were half empty chip bags in front of him and beer bottles lying on their sides. His hand hurt like a bitch, and he was surly, angry and upset. He was mad at the world, and the position he was in.

He had thought about nothing all day, except Bella and why this was happening. He had made some tough realizations... some he didn't want to face and some that nearly killed him. He knew he had to ask her about them. Whether he wanted to hear the answer or not was another story.

The door made a soft sound as it closed. Emmett lay still on the couch, waiting for her to come to him.

"Hi." She stood in front of him, her eyes darting around, taking in the chaos in the room. "How's your hand?"

Emmett stared up at her from the couch and grunted. Why did she care? Soon nothing he did would matter to her.

Sighing softly, Bella bent to pick up the bottles and chips. "Leave it." Her head jerked and her eyes widened as she stared at him.

"I was just…"

"I said leave it."

She took a deep breath, and still holding the bottles, walked around him to throw them away.

Emmett stood and followed her into the kitchen. "You always have to have your way, don't you?"

Bella turned, facing him. His face flushed as he glared at her. He was so angry and it was all her fault. She had hurt him so badly last night- was still hurting him. Her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. "No… I… I'm just trying to help. When was the last time you took a pain pill? Does your hand hurt?"

Laughing harshly, his fists clenched as he looked at her. "I wish this was just about the pain in my hand, _that_ I could handle. No, this is about you always having your way. Everything I've done has been for _you_. This apartment, Seattle, college when I didn't want to go. Even the job. I mean… yeah, I love working at the garage. But all the hours I'm working? Too save money for you to go to New York." He laughed humorlessly. "Guess we won't be going there."

Bella just stared, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.

"I still don't understand. Is it because I quit school? Is that all it took for you to not love me anymore? Me doing something _I _wanted to do for a change? Because, Bella, that's just pathetic."

She shook her head as the tears fell. "No… I never said…"

"Please, don't say you still love me. Because that's bullshit and you know it." He watched her tears fall and felt nothing. He had seen her cry too many times lately and he just didn't care right now. "Why are you crying? You're _always _crying."

Astonished, Bella swiped at the tears with her hand. "I can't help it!"

"Are you going to tell me why? Or are you just going to continue lying?" He needed to know. There was more. "You didn't just wake up one day and decide you didn't love me anymore."

"Emmett, please quit saying that!" She couldn't hear it from him. It hurt, because she _did_ love him.

"Why, Bella? Why is this happening? Tell me!" His voice echoed in the small kitchen and she flinched back away from him.

"I don't know! Okay? I just… Everything just started to change. And I… God, Emmett. I don't know why. There are things I want that you don't. There's thing _you_ want that I don't. How can we fix that?"

"You just decided this all on your own? Without even talking to me about any of it? Sneaking around behind my back and researching NYU. Walking around here like you have some big secret you can't tell me." Emmett pressed his hands against his eyes, rubbing furiously. "You think I didn't notice? You think I don't know you anymore?"

"I know you don't want to live in New York, Em! And I wasn't trying to be sneaky. I just wanted to look. I didn't want to upset you."

"How do you know? How do you know what I want without even asking me, Bella?"

"You want to move home... You want a business... A family..."

"You _are_ my home, damn it! Wherever you are is my home. And yes I want a family. So what? I don't have to have one right now. I could have waited until you were ready, but you didn't even give me the choice. You decided the outcome of our future by yourself. Like I had no part in it!" He grabbed her coffee mug that was sitting on the counter. "You see this mug? I gave it to you because I _love_ you. I saw it and I had to get it. It was perfect." He tossed it up in the air and caught it. "Now? Now it means nothing." The mug shattered as it hit the wall, the pieces flying apart and landing scattered around the kitchen. Broken… like his heart.

Bella jumped, her hands clasped around her mouth, holding in her sobs. "Em… Why did you do that?"

"Because it's a lie. You're still hiding something from me, Bella. You're not telling me the whole truth." God, it hurt. So bad that Emmett thought he was going to fall over from the pain. He wanted to scream, he wanted to rage at Bella, and he wanted to cry. He did none of these things. Instead, he leaned back against the wall, defeated and tired. "I think you should stay with your dad over Christmas break." He didn't really; it just seemed like the right thing to do. He wanted her with _him_; he didn't want to let her go. But he couldn't keep going along like this. It was killing him. "I need some time. We need to figure this out, Bee." Emmett swallowed, silently begging her to say no.

Bella looked at the floor and nodded, her voice shaky as she answered, "Okay." She was worried. He knew she was hiding something. Of course he did. He knew her so well.

"I'll sleep on the couch until Friday." They stood across from each other, eyes locked, and he compulsively took a step toward her. His hand ached to touch her. Bella ached to reach out and take it.

She could read the hurt in his eyes and she hated herself more than ever. How could she be doing this to him? What was wrong with her? She wished he would hold her, but knew it was too much to ask. Edward's face from this morning at the library appeared behind her eyes. So much like his brother's in the hurt they conveyed. She was hurting both of  
them. Maybe it was good to go home. At least there she wouldn't be hurting anyone.

Emmett finally broke the look between them and went into the living room. Where could he go? How could he stay here for even one more day? Bella walked around him, her arm brushing against his back, and his mouth tightened into a thin line. He watched her walk down the hall to their room, the quiet click of the door sounding like a loud bang in  
his ears. Damn it, he just wanted to go to her. He was being pulled between the compulsion to stay and the need to leave.

He chose to stay.

Bella sat in her room, thinking about the day and the night that had followed. So much had happened and she was frantically sorting through the events and her feelings.

It started with seeing Edward in the library. She knew things had been building up between them. She had felt the pull he had over her. That day though, was different. She began to notice little things about him. Things she shouldn't have been paying attention to. Like how his eyelashes swept up from his eyes, surrounding them and lightly fluttering when he blinked or how long and elegant his hands were. His fingers seemed always in motion, either tapping the table or holding a pen, occasionally sweeping through his hair and sometimes, though still on the table, reaching out to her.

When he touched her, her face heated, her palms became sweaty, and a warm ache began deep in her abdomen. Her bodies reaction appalled her and she hid further behind her books. She wanted to feel nothing. She thought of Emmett and became angry - angry at herself for feeling these things and angry at Edward for making her feel them. She snapped at him as her turmoil curled around her.

His soft gray eyes were confused and hurt, when she threw in his face about Emmett's injury. She accused him, like it was his fault. Flashes of green reached out to her, almost pleading when he asked her to go out with him afterwards. She couldn't do it. She couldn't look at him another minute. There was a feeling growing in her heart and she was  
terrified of it.

Now as she sat alone in her bed, she began to understand. She was in love with Edward. The shocking realization made her fall back against her sheets. Her chest rose and fell heavily. Oh, no... she couldn't be. But as she thought about all the times they were together she knew she could no longer lie to herself. The looks they shared, the easy banter, the sparks that always flew when they touched, the way his eyes followed her everywhere and the jealousy and spite when he was with another girl. It all led to one thing.

This couldn't happen. No good would come from those feelings and if she just ignored them... Things were rocky with Emmett. Was Edward the reason why? Were all the other reasons just a front? She was afraid to answer her own question, because deep inside she knew the answer.

She had to stay away from Edward. Could she? The thought of never seeing him again brought an intense pain to her chest and she clutched at her heart desperately. The other option, continuing on this path and hurting Emmett… It brought on sorrow so thick she could scarcely breathe. They were brothers. It would break Emmett's heart. Her stomach turned as she thought of Esme and Carlisle. Could she be the rift that tore their family apart? And Alice... Oh God, it was just too much. Yes, she would go away... back home.. to think, and until then she would do her best to stay away from Edward.

Bella did try to stay away from Edward, but he wouldn't let her. He showed up outside her class on Tuesday. When she saw him she slipped into full blown panic mode and didn't stop to talk to him, didn't even acknowledge him. She didn't meet him for their study session Wednesday. Instead, she went home to see Emmett.

A silence hung over their apartment, neither said much. Bella's skin felt like it was being peeled off layer by layer and soon there would be nothing left of her. Emmett sat on the couch, hardly moving, just staring blankly at the TV screen. She made sure he took his meds and kept his doctor's appointment earlier that day. Part of her was ready for Friday. She needed out. She needed to go before she withered away to nothing.

Emmett felt Bella every time she walked by him. His heart beat picked up as soon as she walked in the door. His ears strained to hear her movements, her breathing. He felt pathetic and stupid for the way he was acting, but it seemed impossible to change.

Until Thursday, when Bella came home shaking and crying and hysterical. She wouldn't meet his eyes when he asked her what was wrong. Her lips were swollen, and there were red marks on her neck and cheeks. Her hair was a mess, and her eyes were filled with a look he hadn't seen in a long time. Emmett's life dropped out from under him, as a rage began to boil. Everything he had suspected but hadn't wanted to admit was true. _This _was the real reason she wanted to leave him. There was someone else. Bella wanted another man.

****I am making this short, because I know I can't apologize enough for the delay. I hope everyone understands.**

****This chap was a roller coaster, and we're still not off yet because the next one continues hwere we left off. I am sending it off to my pre-readers tonight, so no long wait this time! **

****I love you all. My readers and reviewers. Thanks for still being here. **


	24. Chapter 23

*****When I posted my last chapter I was in a flurry of excitement… I was overwhelmed that finally I had something to share with my readers and because of that I forgot to thank everyone who helped me get back on the saddle. - So, I dedicate this chapter to my hard working team who help me, and offer support when I need it. First there are my pre-readers RoryCullen and AnotherJen. They are the first to receive my mess of a chapter and help me make it better by adding and subtracting and making ideas clearer. Then my beta JulieGirl gets it and she adds her thoughts and corrects my horrible punctuation. Without these three girls the chapters you read would not be the same. _Trust me_. They deserve all the thanks in the world.**

*****Disclaimer- Twilight and all it's subsidiaries belong to Stephanie and Summit. **

_**Chapter 23 - The Truth**_

Bella stood against the door of her apartment, fighting for control of her emotions. She was still crying and her hands shook as she fumbled with her keys. She could still feel Edward's lips on hers, could feel his hands grasping her arms and pulling her close. God, he had felt so good. She had wanted him to continue kissing her forever, but the ever

present thought of Emmett stopped her. She couldn't allow it to go on.

She looked up at the site before her as she shut the door. Emmett was sitting on the couch, just where she had left him. His hair was a mess, his face unshaven, and his eyes had that dead, lifeless look to them.

That changed when he looked at her, and for the first time in days she saw Emmett's warring emotions.

Emmett quickly glanced over Bella, his eyes straying to her lips. A fire erupted deep in his gut, and he jumped out of his seat and stood in front of her, trembling. "Who were you with?"

Bella's eyes widened and she paled, her gaze dropping to the floor. "No one... just some people from class."

"You seem to be lying a lot lately." He moved closer to her, is hand cupping her cheek, his thumb tracing over her lips. "You've been kissed. Your lips…" His fingers spread out and traced a line along her jaw. "Who was it? Who left these marks on you?" His hand dropped by his side, clenching tightly into a fist.

"Em..." She couldn't look at him and she didn't know what to say. Oh God... what could she do?

His hand grasped her chin and pulled her up to face him. "You can't hide, Bella. Let me see what's written all over your face. Let me see your eyes and read the truth that you won't let me hear." Searing blue met sorrowful brown and he let her go. "This whole time it's been about another guy." It wasn't a question. He knew it was true. "Who? When did you have the time?" He closed his eyes and swallowed harshly, forcing himself to ask her the question. "Did you… have you?" He couldn't finish. It hurt too much.

"No. God, no. I wouldn't…"

He shook his head as he stared at her, his mind filled with denial. There was no way she would do this to him. "Who are you?" She was a different person, one he barely knew. The thought shattered him. Tears began to fall as he backed away from her. "Get out."

"Emmett, please... I'm sorry." Bella's chest was filled with sadness; her body grew cold and a broken sob forced it's way out from between her lips.

"Just get out."

Her shoulders shook and her hand covered her mouth as she walked away from him. Her breath caught and she felt like she was going to pass out. The world swayed around her and she blinked rapidly, searching for the door handle. She couldn't find it, all she could see was Emmett's face and the way he had looked at her. The guttural sounds behind her made her pause as her hand grasped the door. She wanted to turn around to say something. To apologize and beg him for forgiveness, anything to make him stop that noise. The sounds of his cries were breaking her heart. She had never heard him cry like that.

"Leave!"

She flinched and pulled the door open, exiting quickly. Once outside, she pressed herself against the door, unable to leave him completely. She could hear him inside. Something shattered and the loud cry that followed dropped her to her knees.

A neighbor came out to see what the noise was, her eyes landing on Bella. "Are you okay? Do I need to call someone?" Bella shook her head and pulled herself up. Slowly, she walked down the hall and down the stairs, the sounds of her betrayal ringing in her ears.

Inside, Emmett stood bent over, his hands on his knees. Taking deep gasping breaths, he tried to get a hold of himself. The coffee table lay in pieces on the floor. He couldn't comprehend what had just happened. It couldn't be. She couldn't... wouldn't. It wasn't possible. A ragged groan broke from his lips as tears streamed from his eyes. Stumbling, he made his way into the bedroom. He fell across the bed, praying for something to stop the pain. It only got worse. He could smell her everywhere.

-xx-

_Bella_... _Bella_... All he could see, feel, was Bella. His hand squeezed tighter as he moved it faster. He grunted and panted heavily. "Ungh." Her lips on his. Her nipple pebbling under his thumb. Her hands tugging at his hair. _Oh, God_. The tightness coiled inside

him- aching and throbbing. _Bella_. The coil snapped free, and his body shuddered.

Edward's head lay back on his pillow as he slowly came back to reality. The empty room was a shock to his system. The heat slipped away leaving him cold and alone. He made his way into the shower, letting the warm water wash away the remnants of his desire.

If only it had been real. If only Bella had been there with him. But that wasn't going to happen. She had run from him, gone home to Emmett. It was hard to be upset over losing something that was never his to begin with, harder still that she was his brother's.

The towel rubbed across his skin harshly, and after he was dry he wrapped it around his waist. The water still dripped from his hair, leaving trails down his back as he dropped the towel on the floor and crawled back into bed. The pulsing music from his phone made him raise his head, but he didn't get out of bed. He ignored it, burrowing further into his sheets. His eyes closed on a heavy sigh and his thoughts again wandered to Bella.

-xx-

The phone rang and rang, but he didn't answer. She probably shouldn't have been calling him anyway, but she had wanted to tell him about Emmett. It had nothing to do with her need to hear his voice. Nothing to do with the way her stomach ached and her nerves jumped. "Edward," her voice cracked. She took a deep breath in, trying to start again.

"Edward." Unable to go on, she gave up and hung up the phone.

She walked down the sidewalk, huddled into her coat. Her eyelashes felt frozen from her tears and the bitter wind. She just wanted to stop walking; she didn't want to think, didn't want to feel. She took her phone out of her pocket and dialed again. This time there was an answer.

"Hello?"

"Ang," Bella's voice broke. "Angela, can I come over? Please. I have no where else to go and I just don't know what to do. I need to talk to you. What can I do? Oh, Ang. It's terrible. I'm terrible."

"Slow down, Bella. What's going on? Where are you?"

"I don't know. Somewhere... on a sidewalk." Bella looked at the street sign above her head. "Madison Avenue." Bella stopped walking as the tears fell again, making it hard to speak. "Angela..."

"_Madison_? What are you doing there?"

"I don't know. I just walked and here I am. I'm cold. I don't know what to do." Bella looked around her in confusion. How had she gotten there? She didn't even remember walking all this way. "I'm by the campus, close to Sheldon Hall."

"Why? Why aren't you home? It's freezing out. Bella, go inside, I'll come get you. I'm putting my coat on now. I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay." Bella's teeth began to chatter.

"There's a little diner nearby. Go inside there, get a cup of coffee. I'm coming."

There it was- _the_ corner. The corner where Edward had kissed her. She walked over and stood, dumbly staring at the brick of the building. She could almost see him. He was blurry, but she could make out the outline of his hand as he reached for her. Leaning her forehead against the wall, she moaned. How could everything have turned out so

terribly? How could she have let any of this happen?

The wind whipped around her, turning her cheeks pink and tangling her hair, but she didn't feel it. All she could feel was hurt. Emmett's hurt, Edward's hurt, and hers all jumbled together.

"Bella!" She could hear someone calling to her, but couldn't respond. "Bella, where are you?"

Two voices passed closely by her, one she couldn't place. "How long has it been since she called?"

The other she knew well... Angela. "At least an hour ago. I went to the diner. She was supposed to be there, but she wasn't. We have to find her, Ben. This isn't good. Something bad has happened."

"Maybe she went home."

"No, I don't think so. I'm going to go a little further. She's out here somewhere."

"It's fuckin' cold, Ang."

"I know! That's why I have to find her."

Bella raised her head and tried to call out to her friend. "Angela," she whispered, her throat sore and ragged from crying.

A form came around the corner and walked toward her. "Bella?" Ben reached for her and pulled her away from the wall and into the light. Bella flinched and tried to pull away. "Angela, I found her! Over here!"

"Oh, thank God! Bella…" Angela took one look at her friend and her eyes filled with tears. "Oh no, Bella." Angela's warm arms wrapped tightly around her. "Come. I'll take you to our place. It's alright, Bella. Come on."

"I broke it. I broke everything. We kissed. I kissed Edward and now they're both broken. Emmett..."

Angela closed her eyes briefly, not from surprise at her friend's statement. No, she knew this would happen eventually… and that Bella was tearing herself up inside right now. "Shhh... shhh. It's alright; we can talk when we get home."

Ben and Angela helped Bella get in the car. Inside, Bella curled into Angela's side and clung to her tightly. Ben drove, getting them home as quickly as possible.

-xx-

Edward awoke to his alarm. Stretching, he slowly got out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen. The cold glass of orange juice tasted good going down. He made himself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the counter, taking his first bite. It was quiet this morning. And cold. He shivered and looked around his empty apartment. Sitting down his spoon, he ran his hand through his hair before standing up. He really wasn't hungry.

He dressed warmly and threw on a jacket. Everything he needed went into his book bag- books, pens, a couple notebooks and his phone. He remembered the call that came in last night and pulled his phone back out. He had a missed call and a voice message.

"Edward…" It was Bella. Her voice was ragged, her breathing erratic. "Edward…" He stood with the phone pressed to his ear, but that was all. All he heard was the sound of the dial tone.

"Fuck!" He dialed his voicemail again, but it was the same. What had she wanted? She sounded hoarse and he could hear traffic in the background. Where had she been? If only he had answered his damn phone last night. He tried to call her, but it went straight to her voicemail. "Bella. You called last night. I'm sorry I didn't answer. I didn't know it was you. Are you okay? You didn't sound okay. Please call me back."

He waited all day for her to call him, but the call didn't come through until eight 'o clock that night.

"Bella."

"We need to talk. I'm at my friend Angela's place. Would you come over?"

"Why are you there? What's happened?"

"Edward, please… just… I'll talk to you more when you get here."

*****How about that- only one week for a new chapter? Yay, me! This was crazy… and I am really on a roll, so more soon. **

*****Thank you all for all your wonderful reviews and for standing by while I got my shit together. **

*****If you reviewed last chap you got a teaser… I may be handing out more juicy morsels again for my reviewers. So, why not review? Let me here form all the silent readers out there. Let me know what you think. **


	25. Chapter 24

*****Wednesday? Nahh… but I have a good reason for posting early and a request. But we will get to that after the chapter.**

*****Thanks to my team again, for all their wonderfulness. **** JulieGirl, AnotherJen and RoryCullen- you know I couldn't do it with out you. **

*****Disclaimer- If I owned Twilight I would've been in Toronto last week… But I don't, so I'm here. **

_**Chapter 24 - Is it time for Goodbye?**_

Bella sat at the kitchen table nervously tapping her fingers against her glass. She sipped on the water Ang had given her, her eyes constantly darting between the clock and the door. He would be here any minute. She was nervous and sick, but knew what she had to do.

"Bella, you know you don't have to do this." Angela stood by her best friend, her gaze full of pity and compassion.

"I have no choice. This is how it has to be. He'll know I'm right. He'll understand." Bella took another drink, her hand shaking slightly. She was afraid to see him, afraid she would lose her sense of purpose. She squared her shoulders and raised her chin, nodding at Angela when a knock sounded on the door.

Edward walked into the small apartment, his eyes swiftly scanning the room for Bella. A smile curved his lips when he saw her. He strode across the room, his hand taking hers as he sat next to her. He had missed her and he wanted to assure himself that she was okay. She had sounded so forlorn on the phone.

Bella's heart stuttered at his smile and she had to push down the bubbling feeling of warmth in her chest. Gently, she pulled her hand away from his as she stood and took a few steps away, trying to distance herself and her feelings.

Swallowing her apprehension and building up her determination, she paced the room. When she was ready to speak, she turned to face him. "We can't do this, Edward."

Dread crept up his spine as he watched her pace. His smile disappeared and his eyes shut for a second before looking at her. "Can't do what?"

"This." Bella's hand waved between the two of them. "We can't continue this. Emmett knows. He doesn't know it's you, but he knows there's someone. We can't let him ever find out it's you." Bella took a cautious step towards him. "You _have_ to see that."

"I see only that you are running away from me." Edward rubbed his forehead, a sharp ache suddenly slicing through his skull. With his head in his hands he asked, "Does it mean nothing that I'm in love with you?"

Bella trembled inside, her heart pulsing at the declaration. Firmly, she pushed it back down, buried it under all her guilt. "Oh, Edward… you can't. Love is supposed to make you happy. It's supposed to bring you joy. Are you happy right now?"

"I would be if you were with me."

"Despite what it does to Emmett? Are you prepared to tell him it's you? That you… _love_… me? Are you ready to call Carlisle and Esme? What about Alice?" Bella picked up her phone, her fingers unsteady. She walked over and held it out to him. "Go ahead. Call them. Tell them what we've done. Tell them how Emmett is at my apartment, _crying_."

Edward's eyes squeezed shut and he swallowed. "Bella." He felt sick at the idea of Emmett crying because of him. His stomach flipped and his hands clenched as he rubbed his eyes.

"I refuse to do that to your family. It's wrong. You know it is. You _know_."

"Emmett's already hurt, it won't matter. My parents… they'll understand. It'll be okay." He was grasping at straws, because he knew everything would most certainly not be okay.

"I can't leave you. I did it once before, for Emmett, for my family. I want you for me! I won't leave you again."

"Again?" Bella gaped at Edward. "What do you mean, again?"

Edward let out a harsh laugh. "I've been in love with you for four years, since I first saw you. I ran away then. You were so young and obviously in love with my brother, as he was with you. I tried to stay away, but then you had to show up here. You just suddenly appeared at that bar. It was like I'd never left. I still felt just as strongly as I had then. You're why I broke up with Vicki. You're why I stayed away from my family for so long." His eyes raised to hers, so green, so desperate. "I love you and I'm not leaving you again… _ever_."

Bella stood, shocked and feeling herself losing ground. All this time he had _loved_ her. He had wanted_ her_. Biting her lip, she shook off the feeling, lifted her chin and stared him in the eye. "You don't have to leave. I'm going home for a little while to stay. I don't know for how long. There's so much I need to think about."

Edward panicked. His heart raced and his breathing sped up. He was losing her. She was leaving. "You can't…" He moved to take her arm but she put her hand solidly against his chest.

"I assure you that I can and I am." Bella shook her head, fighting for the strength to continue, to keep up the front, to make him understand. Pushing him back, she glared at him. Her face was impassive, neither the sadness nor the pain she felt shone through. "No, Edward. Not this time. I won't let you sway me. You cannot touch me like that. You cannot kiss me ever again."

"I could follow you." He sounded crazy, almost psychotic, but the thought of being without her was enough to drive him insane.

"You won't. You'll go home, see your family- see Emmett- and know I'm right." She knew once he saw his brother that he wouldn't risk hurting him anymore. She counted on Edward's love for his family to override his feelings or her.

Edward's entire body deflated as all the energy left him. "So this is it? You're telling me goodbye."

Bella nodded and clenched her teeth together tightly to keep from crying.

He looked around the unfamiliar room, feeling lost and confused. He licked his lips and stood, shoving his hands back in his pockets as he backed away from her. "I guess I understand why you feel you have to do this. But I don't like it. What about what _you_ want? What about what makes you happy, Bella? What about me? Why is it easier to say goodbye to me?" Edward looked up, his face tight, his eyes dark and sorrowful. "Why must we be the one's to make the sacrifice?"

"This _is_ what I want." She bit her lip to stop the trembling. "You wouldn't be happy with me. We wouldn't be happy. There's too much standing in our way, Edward. Don't think I didn't think about that. _You_ should think about that."

"I'm losing you. I won't be happy." Edward turned to go to the door, but she called to him.

"Edward?" He turned to look at her, revealing a last flicker of hope that Bella had changed her mind. "Emmett needs you. You should call him. He needs his brother. I've… I've never seen him like that."

Edward nodded, as he stopped to stare at her. "Can you just tell me one thing? I want a truthful answer." Bella nodded, eyeing him warily. "Do you have any feelings for me? Was I right? Do you love me?" Her breath stuttered and her eyes filled with tears. "Please, it's all I ask. Tell me."

She nodded and whispered a broken, "Yes… yes, I do."

"Then why?" He reached out to her, his heart in his face, his eyes pleading.

"Please... please… just go." Bella could barely force the words out. There was nothing she wanted to do more than take his hand and let him love her.

She watched him leave. A defeated man, with his shoulders slumped, his head bowed. She ached all over. She clenched her hands together and choked on the words rising in her throat. The door silently closed behind him and she collapsed on the chair. Her head fell on the table and she gave in to the tears she was holding back. Her heart hurt and every part of her screamed out to call him back.

Outside, Edward moved forward, further and further away from her. He got into his car and drove home. Once inside, he poured himself a shot of whiskey, the heat searing his insides. She'd said goodbye to him. She was leaving.

Thinking of being without her smile, her warm honey eyes, he poured another shot. After that he had another. She had asked him to check on his brother. He wished he could do that for her, but it was impossible. He couldn't talk to Emmett right now. Not without breaking down, not without screaming at him and telling him that he wanted Bella.

He could, however, call someone who would. Dialing his phone, he waited with baited breath, sure he would get an earful. He was unsure of how he was going to explain why she needed to check up on Emmett.

"Alice, I need you to call Emmett. He's in a bad way." His sister sat on the other side, confused.

"What's going on? Did you talk to him? Is he okay?" she replied.

"I can't, Alice. Just, please… call him, or better yet, go over there."

Alice's voice changed, becoming hard and accusing. "What did you do?"

"Please…" His voice cracked and Alice sighed heavily.

"It's Bella, isn't it? Edward, how could you!"

"It's not like that. Alice, he doesn't know... everything. Not about me. Please, try to keep it that way. Don't worry… I'm not seeing Bella anymore. She left. She's going away. She doesn't want this. Not me. Not Emmett. Not any of it."

"I told you this would happen, didn't I? Didn't I warn you to stay away from her?" Before he could answer, before he could tell her that he couldn't help it, that he was sorry and that it was impossible for him to stay away from Bella, she hung up.

-xx-

The incessant knocking was making Emmett's head hurt. Why was someone bothering him? He didn't want to see anyone.

"What!" he growled, opening the door.

His sister stood before him, her eyes wide. "Emmet."

"What do you want, Alice? I'm not feeling very good right now."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She brushed past him and entered the apartment.

Sighing, Emmett turned around facing her, closing the door behind him. "Everything's fine."

Alice's eyes brushed over the destroyed coffee table, the empty beer bottles, landing lastly on Emmett's disheveled appearance. "Everything doesn't look alright to me."

"How did you know?"

"Edward."

"How did _he_ know?" He stared hard at the floor, a vague feeling of unrest tingling up his spine. "Bella?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Regardless, I'm here now. Let's get you packed. I'm taking you home. It's almost Christmas you know. Mom's expecting us."

Emmett ran a hand over his head. "Alice, I'm not really in the mood to do this."

"Well you can't stay here." She gestured at the mess around her. "You can stay with me and Jasper until we leave. I'll come back and straighten the place up a little. Now lets pack a bag."

Emmett couldn't help but smile some at his sister. She never was one to listen. She just did what she wanted.

It felt good to get out of the apartment. Kind of freeing. He showered at Alice's and felt more like himself. He sat at the table and told her and Jasper what had gone on the night before. He gave them a condensed version, leaving out the gory details. Just that he had asked Bella to leave, and that he knew she was seeing someone else.

"Part of me feels like I should just let her go. Yet, another part wants me to fight for her. I love her. I've loved her for as long as I can remember." Emmett ran his fingers along the table, his head bowed and thought about going after Bella.

Alice's hand covered her mouth, stifling her urge to speak. She wanted to tell Emmett to get as far away from Bella as possible.

"There is so much between us. I can't picture being without her. Maybe it was just one kiss, maybe it was a mistake. What do you think?"

Alice stood and stared at him before turning to walk out of the room. "Alice?"

Jasper sighed. He knew it was difficult for Alice to keep quiet. "She cares about you and hates seeing you so upset. She's a little biased. I think she'd tell Bella to take a flying leap."

"Yeah, she probably would." Emmett turned to look at Jasper. "What do you think? What would you do? What if it was Alice? Wouldn't you fight for her?"

"Yeah, I would. _If_ she wanted me too."

"I don't really know how she feels. I know she's upset. She's cried constantly this past week. I yelled at her for that. I asked her why she was always crying, like it would be better if she didn't care at all." Emmett shook his head. "I don't know. I think we should talk. I'll have to call her. Tell her… something." Emmett's hand rubbed over his head, and he winced. Calling Bee would be so hard. What would he say? When should he call? Maybe tonight? Maybe they could talk a little tonight.

*****Here's the news.. I have been nominated for a Shimmer Award! ME! I have never been nominated for anything and I thank whomever did this. It seems that Edward in Chapter 4 was a bit Dazzzled- (when he saw Bella's boobs, perhaps) And Bella was equally dazzled in Chapter 13. **** So… Please go over and give the awards a look, vote for me! If… you think I deserve it of course (Vote for me!) ****http:/shimmerawards(.)blogspot(.)**** - y'all know to take out the parenthesis right. **

******Another nomination- at The Lemonade Stand. ****http:/tehlemonadestand(.)blogspot(.)com/2011/07/meet-poll-what-were-reading-this-week_**** There are some epic fics on this list… you know the ones that everybody and their daughter is reading. Still.. You can always go check it out and give me a higher percentage… right?**

*****Once again I want to thank you. The response to the last chapter was incredible. I am so close to 1000 reviews. wouldn't it be amazing to get there? I think so… **


	26. Chapter 25

*****If it wasn't for my great team of ladies, I'd be lost. Thanks to JulieGirl, RoryCullen, and AnotherJen for all that you do. **

*****Disclaimer- Twilight isn't mine, never has been, never will be. **

_**Chapter 25 - Always Searching**_

Bella was losing her mind. She had walked around Angela's apartment a dozen times that morning. She had left and walked down the street, only to return when she burst into tears at the Blockbuster Video store. A Harry Potter poster was hanging in the window reminding her that her and Em had only made it to the third movie. They were going to watch them all together.

She nibbled on toast and drank a Coke. She sat in front of Angela's computer staring at the NYU website, her finger hovering over the mouse, ready to click on the apply for admission button.

Edward didn't call. Not that she wanted or expected him. She thought of him constantly, like the way he had looked when he left; he'd looked as if he'd given up. She cried some more from missing him. Bella had never cried so much in her life as she had the last week. She wondered if the well would ever run dry or if she would continue crying forever.

She called her father and told him she was coming home earlier than expected. He tried to get her to tell him why and it only made her break down again. She could barely speak as she told him they would talk when she got home.

"I'm going back to the apartment for a bit." Bella mumbled, absently picking at the lint on her sweater.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Angela's concerned gaze swept over her friend. Bella was a wreck, her eyes were puffy, and she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"No… I just need to do _something_. I can't sit around here anymore. I'll pack and get some things ready to go home. I need to call Emmett… tell him I'm going. I wonder if he's there?" Bella's voice trailed off as she walked unseeingly past Angela. Grabbing her coat and shrugging it on, she pulled open the front door.

"Wait! It's freezing. At least let me drive you." Angela called to Ben that she'd be back.

Bella stared out the window the entire drive. Edward… Edward filled her every thought. She could still see him, the green in his eyes piercing her soul. His sadness filled her heart. A lone tear trickled down her cheek. She swiped it away, irritated at herself and her inability to just let him go.

Angela stopped in front of her building. "Do you want me to go in with you?"

"No, I'll be okay." She turned to Angela, giving her a small smile. "Thanks for everything. I may stay here awhile. I'll call you later." They shared a hug before Bella got out and went inside.

The inside of her apartment was a mess. Things were thrown everywhere and the cocktail table was crushed. That must have been the loud crash she had heard the day she left. Emmett's angry words rung in her ears as she clutched at her chest and recalled the hurtful expression on his face.

She somberly walked around the apartment, heartsick as all the memories collected in her head. She hesitated just inside the bedroom door, her eyes landing on the bed. Emmett's touch, his warmth, his love was given in this bed._ Their_ bed- now cold and impersonal. She dropped her face into her hands. It was so hard for her to think of all the time spent here and all the love that had been destroyed because of her.

Slowly, she began to clean up the place. She took the wrecked table to the trash piece by piece. It became suddenly very important to get things back to the way they were, the way they were supposed to be. She dusted and vacuumed, mopped and swept. She stripped the bed and did laundry. She lingered over Emmett's clothes, running her fingers along her favorite shirt. She came across a box of old photos and set them aside with shaking hands.

She was so focused on her task, she didn't even hear anyone come in until she felt their presence right behind her.

Bella jumped, dropping the pair of shoes she was holding. She looked over at Alice, shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to get some of Emmett's things and to clean up the place a little." She glanced about the clean apartment. "Looks like you've already done that." Her narrowed eyes landed on Bella, flashing her hatred.

Bella nodded and turned from Alice, unable to bear the animosity emanating from her.

"He told me what happened. How you came home - to _his_ home - looking like you had just been freshly fucked."

Bella's eyes clenched shut and she bit her lip. "Is that what he thinks? I didn't, you know. I mean, that's not what happened."

"Spare me the explanation, Bella. I know about you and Edward. I've always known about his obsession with you. I just never thought you would give in, that you would do that to Emmett."

Bella turned to Alice shock and surprise written all over her face. "How?"

"Not all of us are as blinded by love as Emmett. Edward couldn't hide how he feels about you if his life depended on it."

"We never…"

"Shut up. How could you? He's the sweetest man on earth and you've destroyed him. What's _wrong _withyou? They're _brothers. _You're disgusting. You make me sick." Alice's face was flushed and her words bit into Bella's skin, scarring her.

"I make myself sick. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt him…"

"But you made a choice. You could have chosen to stay away from Edward, but you didn't! You could have broken up with Emmett. Let him go the _right_ way. Not by cheating on him. Not by breaking him!"

Bella shook her head frantically. "You don't understand. I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand what was happening. I know I messed up! I'm sorry."

"You're _sorry_? Yeah, well that really doesn't help anyone, does it? What are your plans now? To run away with Edward? To destroy our family?"

"No… I… I'm leaving, going home. I told Edward we couldn't… _Please_, Alice. Please... I can't." Tears were once again falling and Bella felt like she was going to die. This entire week had been torture and now she was standing in hell.

"I'll leave you alone to wallow in your misery. I hope you're broken as badly as my brothers are. I hope you're miserable. I just need to get some of Emmett's things. We're leaving tomorrow."

After Alice left, Bella rushed into the bathroom. She heaved as she emptied the contents of her stomach. Gasping and crying, she shook on the cold tile floor. Her phone was buzzing in her pocket and with shaky hands she pulled it out. It was Emmett.

More guilt slammed into her and she threw up again. There wasn't anything left in her stomach. Dry heaves racked her body.

As the pain dissipated, she slowly stood and splashed some cold water on her face. She rinsed her mouth and went out into the living room, collapsing on the couch. Fatigue overtook her and her eyes shut. Her body sagged further into the cushions as sleep claimed her.

"Bella?" the soft masculine voice called out to her and slowly, she opened her eyes. Emmett stood in front of her, pale and drawn with dark shadows under his eyes.

"Em."

Emmett sat down next to her. His hands clasped in front of him as he stared straight ahead, not meeting her eyes. "You cleaned."

"Yeah…"

"Sorry about the table."

"It's alright." Bella struggled to find something to say, but everything she thought of was inadequate.

Emmett had come over wanting to talk to her, but now that he was there, he couldn't ask her all the questions brewing in his mind.

"I'm going home with Alice and Jasper today. Edward's coming in a few days." Emmett sighed heavily. "Damn it, Bee. I just don't understand. Don't you love me anymore?"

"It's not like that. I _do_ love you."

"Don't give me the 'I love you, I'm just not _in_ love with you' speech. Please, at least spare me that."

Bella swallowed nervously and twisted her hair through her fingers.

"Are you in love with him?"

"I… I…"

"Jesus… okay. I guess that's a yes." Anger lanced Emmett's heart again, but he pushed it aside. He didn't want to fight anymore. He just wanted answers. "Who is he, Bella?"

Bella's eyes widened and her tongue felt thick in her mouth. She sputtered and choked and said absolutely nothing that made sense. "Umm... He… I… class… ummm..."

Emmett shook his head and sighed heavily as he stood. "Alice told me you were here. I just wanted to see you. Maybe that was a bad idea." Emmett turned slowly away from her. "Bella?" He stopped to look her over one more time. "Will you just promise me something?"

"What?"

"Just think it through." Lifting his head he met her gaze full on, everything he felt shining in his eyes. "I love you, Bee. We've been together for a long time. Are you sure you want to give up on us? Are you positive that this is what you want?"

"Emmett…" She wished she was able to tell him what he wanted to hear. "I don't want to keep anything from you anymore." At least not anymore than she already had. "I'm going home in a few days. I'm not sure I'll be coming back here."

"You're leaving for good?" Emmett's distressed heart gave a jerk.

"Maybe… yes... most likely."

Emmett nodded, took one last look at her and walked out the door.

-xx-

Two long days had passed where Bella did nothing but look at old pictures and stare at the NYU website. She thought of Edward, she thought of Emmett. She spoke to Angela when she called or stopped by. She sat, she ate when she needed to, and slept when she could.

Her nights were filled with dreams.

It was always the same- walking alone in the dark, while a warm breeze swirled around her, beckoning her forward. She reached out, blindly searching, but never found what she was looking for.

That night was worse and she awoke screaming. She screamed and screamed, before realizing that there was no one to hear her.

Jolting upright on the bed, Bella looked around her desperately. She could still feel Edward's warmth wrapped around her. In the dream, the wind had led her to him. He'd been right there, but when she'd tried to reach out to him, tried to touch him, he'd faded away and left her alone, taking the warmth with him. She was left in the dark, cold and alone.

She cried into her pillow, sobbing for things she couldn't have, but, _oh God_, how she wanted them. How she wanted _him_. The weight of her decision to leave him was crushing her. The need for Edward rose in her with a roar and she shuddered. "No!" she yelled out, still not wanting to give in.

Her phone taunted her from the nightstand, blinking at her, beckoning. She picked it up and stared at the blank screen. She couldn't call him. She promised she wouldn't. She swore to him and to herself that she wouldn't call, but her resolve was weakening with every minute that passed. She glanced at the clock. It was a quarter after one in the morning and he was probably sleeping, curled up in his bed, snoring the night away.

She got up and paced the room, one hand clutching the phone, one pulling at her hair hysterically. The lone hall light was the only bright spot in the otherwise dark apartment. The darkness consumed her, like the blackness of her heart. Edward could be her light, if she let him. But if she did, it would cause everyone else too much hurt.

She couldn't stop thinking about him, even though she needed to stop. She _couldn't_ and she wondered if it was possible that he was awake and thinking of her as well. Her heart pounded in her chest while her brain screamed at her to put the phone down.

-xx-

Another shot of whiskey burned its way down his throat as he sat there staring at his phone. He desperately wanted to call her. She had said goodbye to him, but he couldn't accept it. How could he go on with this aching hole in his chest?

Edward's hands burrowed into his hair, pulling it in frustration. How was he supposed to let her go? It'd only been a few days since he last saw her and already he was half mad. How would he last forever without her?

The hours whittled by. He tried to sleep, but the alcohol in his system didn't help. Instead, it only made him think of her more. He tossed and turned before giving up and stalking around his apartment, pouring himself another glass.

He picked up his cell and stared hard at it. His fingers found her name, and he hovered, wanting to push send. _Fuck_… He threw the phone down, cursing. He thought he must be going mental as the desperation inside of him made his skin crawl. He saw her drifting in front of him, her lips turned up in a soft smile. She haunted him. She was there, always there.

"Fuck this," he mumbled bending to pick up his phone. This time he didn't hesitate to push send.

*****So, who knows where we are? Anyone? I, for one am really excited, but nervous. How are you all feeling right now?**

*****I only got to answer some of your reviews. But I figured you'd rather me get this chapter up. Right? I still read them all and love you for them. We are just a step away from 1000 reviews. I can't believe it.**


	27. Chapter 26

*****My team of awesome women mean the world to me and I need to thank them over and over again. JulieGirl, AnotherJen, and Rory Cullen- Thank you for being here with me. **

*****Disclaimer: We all know That Edward and Bella do not belong to me. If they had, I would have had them doing a lot more of this- **

_**Chapter 26 - Need**_

Bella went to lie on her bed, overcome with all her racing emotions. It was too hard feeling this way; if only she could stop. The ringing of her phone made her sit up as hope sprang alive in her chest. Somehow, she knew it was him… Edward. Her skin tingled and her ears perked to the sound as she jumped off the bed, making the mad dash into the living room. She grabbed the phone off the television and pushed the green button.

"Hello," she whispered, a little breathless from the dash, still crying from all the raging emotions pulling her down.

It was quiet, but she could hear his breathing. It _was_ him and she dropped down to the floor, crouching there, breathless and waiting for him to speak.

Edward sat on the other end of the phone, desperately trying to convince himself to hang up. But he was selfish and his body trembled at the thought of not hearing her voice or seeing her face. He couldn't let her go.

"I need you." His voice cracked as he took a shuddering breath. "I need you, and I know I shouldn't, but it doesn't matter." Edward rubbed his hand across his eyes. "It _should _matter… I _shouldn't_ do this, but I can't help it, Bella. _Please, _come. I _need_ you here with me." He clutched the phone, his eyes closed, head bowed. If she denied him, he would die. He had nothing left. Every part of him was split open to her. He'd given her his soul.

It was impossible for her to say no. The urgency in his tone, the anguish, all echoed every emotion she had been feeling. All the fight had left her; she wanted him too badly to stay away any longer. "I'm on my way." She kept the phone to her ear, listening to his breathing as she tore around her apartment, stopping once to slip on her shoes and throw on a jacket. Her keys made a loud noise as she yanked them off the hook they hung on by the door. Her eyes scanned over the pictures in the hallway, and her heart lurched into her throat.

Emmett's eyes stared back at her and she faltered, but she didn't stop. She turned away from them, refusing to think about anything else but getting to Edward.

Edward listened to her breathing, her movements. He heard her keys rattle and breathed a sigh of relief. She was coming. He was impatient for her to get there. He wanted to touch her, to know that she was his. "Hurry," he pleaded. "I feel like I'm coming apart. God… Why can't I just let you go?"

The same thought was running through Bella's mind as she stepped outside. The cold wind was like a slap in the face, forcing her to stop and think about what she was doing. She was not this person. She was not a liar or a cheater. Was she making a mistake? Should she turn around and go back inside? Her hands shook and she almost dropped the phone.

Edward sensed her hesitancy and panicked. His frantic voice broke through to her. "No, don't think about it. I _know, _Bella… just, please… don't… " He was afraid she would change her mind. And he was too desperate to see her to allow that. He shuddered under the weight of the strain on his emotions. The ache was overwhelming, and he whispered her name. "Bella…"

At the tortured whisper her heart clenched, making her decision. She ran to her car and hopped inside. She couldn't believe she was doing this after telling him she wasn't going to see him again. It had all been for nothing, because here she was, running to him. She took a turn too fast and had to brake hard, but still she continued. She almost ran a red light, her focus not on the road in front of her, but instead on the man waiting for her.

Then she was there. She stood beside her car, staring up at his building, her heart thundering, her blood churning. If she went in there, that would be it. She could no longer deny him. If she went in there they would do more than just kiss.

Edward observed her from his window. He watched her indecision and pressed his palm against the glass, willing her to come inside. As she stepped forward, he turned to meet her at the door.

He was standing in the doorway, looking destitute and broken. Without pause, Bella wound her arms tightly around him, burying her nose into his soft, blue t-shirt. Immediately engulfed in his scent, she hungrily breathed him in. She was trembling as her hands found their way to his chest, gently pushing him the rest of the way inside. She sighed deeply as her fingers played along his ribcage. Her eyes stayed averted from his, afraid to look at his face, for once there she knew she would never again be able to find her way out.

Edward's hands grasped the sides of her face, forcing her to look up at him. His eyes moved over her, taking in her ragged appearance. His fingers traced over her red, puffy eyes. She still had tear streaks on her cheeks, and her face was drained of all color. He could read the panic, and guilt all over her, but her eyes also shone with a soft brilliance as they met his.

Her cheeks flushed and he swallowed as his own guilt stirred in his chest. "I'm so sorry." Sorry that he couldn't completely take the hurt away. Sorry that everything was so difficult. Savagely, he pushed away the pain, wanting to feel only her.

He bent his head slightly, stopping before his lips touched hers. Insecurity and doubt trickled through him Was this okay? Would she push him away again?

Bella read the indecision in his eyes and gave a nod to reassure him. He was so close, just one small press forward and they would be kissing. Heat radiated from him, encompassing her like the wind in her dream. Her body vibrated, alive and tingling.

Finally, no longer able to help herself, she rose up on her toes and touched his lips with her own.

"Bella," Edward whispered as his lips moved over hers. A sense of urgency and need pulsed within him as he pushed her backwards until they hit the wall. His tongue ran across her lips and then swept inside. He groaned and deepened the kiss as his hands greedily moved across her body. Bringing her bottom lip into his mouth, he sucked gently. Dazed and wanting more, he kissed hungrily along her chin. He wanted to taste all of her; she was intoxicating. She moaned and moved against him, her fingers winding through his hair.

Months of denial, of repression and withheld need, came down to this one moment. After all they had been through, fought against, this was it - _their_ time to be together. They both realized this and carelessly surrendered to it.

Edward's hands shook as he undid her jeans and slid them down. His hands pushed between her thighs, searching, seeking her out. Once there he gave a groan, sliding over her and in her, feeling her. Bella arched against his hand, giving a gasp. She anchored herself on his shoulders and gave a soft grunt when his thumb circled her.

Taking his hand away caused both of them a moment of panic, loss sweeping through them. He yanked at his pants impatiently, driven to be inside her, needing to feel her wrapped around him.

Bella cried when he entered her, burying her face in his shoulder, trying to hide her tears from him. Edward let out a long curse, his fingers curving and digging into her sides.

Edward began to move and Bella clung to him. This was not what she had dreamt about. It wasn't pretty or full of love and beautiful words. It was hard and fast, full of desperation, guilt, and sorrow. It was them and how they had always been.

"Please, don't cry. I'm sorry." He hated that she cried. He turned his face to hers, kissing at her tears and whispering, "I'm sorry, Bella."

It was too much, yet not enough. Everything Bella had been feeling - the desperation, the need, the guilt - surged forward and she shuddered under the pressure. Her unforgivable body reacted to each move he made, coming alive beneath his touch, his mouth. "Oh, God," she breathed wetly against his skin.

Edward groaned and pulled her closer. "Fuck… It's so good, so _right_, it can't be wrong." He shifted against her, pushing himself in deeper. His eyes clenched shut and his legs shook. "I'm sorry, Bella. Oh, _God_, please forgive me."

Kisses deepened, as she tried to comfort him, to assure herself. They moved as one, his body tensing and shuddering, hers coiling tightly until time stopped and everything exploded. She cried out, "Edward…" and for just a moment all she could think of was him, all else was forgotten.

He grabbed her hard as he came, his words muffled against her throat. His open mouth breathed warmth against her. His mind was full of her- her scent, her taste… everything. He shuddered and gasped, shaking and spent.

Without looking at her, he dropped to his knees. Leaning his head against her stomach, he took a few deep breaths, trying to slow his racing heart as raw emotion consumed him. His hand ran down her leg to cup her foot, raising it and removing her shoe. He repeated the process on the other foot, his hands gliding up her hips and pulling her pants the rest of the way down and off. He caressed back up her legs and moved up her thighs to her waist. Her skin was soft and supple, and he allowed himself to linger, taking his time, loving each inch of her. Rising, he pulled gently on her shirt, lifting it up and over her head. Deftly, he unsnapped her bra, freeing her breasts. His breath caught as he stared, his fingers twitching to touch them.

A soft moan escaped her as she watched him look her over, the desire apparent in his snapping green eyes. He stepped back and slid off his own pants, tossing his shirt onto the pile of clothing on the floor.

Her gaze swept over his naked body. He was beautiful, with long lines and lean muscle. She wanted to kiss his chest, right over where his heart lay. She wanted to touch him.

Gathering her to him again, Edward lifted Bella up into his arms, his eyes locking on hers with a soft and worried expression. He carried her to _his _room and laid her down on _his _bed. He couldn't believe she was here. He pulled the covers up over both of them, as his arms wound around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"I couldn't do without you. I needed to feel something other than the loneliness." His voice caressed against her, and she turned so she was facing him. He gazed into her eyes and found peace. At least now, in this moment, they could relax. His breathing slowed and his heart calmed. He reached out and swept her hair behind her shoulder, letting the soft strands fall between his fingers before they brushed down her back.

Bella shivered, heat again beginning to pool inside her. She drew imaginary lines across his chest as she finally began to relax. His scent surrounded her; he smelled of early morning rain and spice and it quieted her mind. Sighing heavily, she burrowed closer to him, her lips kissing along his collarbone and her leg tangling in between his.

They lay together, enjoying the peace of the moment. Fingertips brushed softly, soft whispers gathered between them. Edward learned every part of her, traced every crevice and notch, marveled over every freckle. It wasn't long before he wanted her again.

Bella felt him stir against her stomach and she smiled, pushing against his chest so his back was to the bed. Straddling him, she bent down, kissing every detail, memorizing every curve. It was her turn to take all of him in. Her fingers moved along his chest, circling his nipples, tracing his ribs. She pulled him up so he was sitting, pressed against her. She kissed his neck and found a delectable mole right at the nape of his hair. She licked it, and gave it special attention when he groaned loudly and grasped her hips.

His breathing quickened as she knelt over him to slide him inside. Her head fell on his shoulder and her breath tickled his ear as she whispered, "Edward."

Grasping her hand, he squeezed it tightly, his eyes wide and wondering, his mouth slightly parted. He was amazed at the riot of emotions and sensations pulsing within him. He fell back on the bed taking her with him. His fingers dug into her hips as he rose off the bed, pushing himself deeper inside her.

She watched him as they came together, setting to her mind every breath he took, every noise he made, and every way he moved. She took a mental picture when he threw his head back - his eyes closed, face flushed, mouth open and yelling that he loved her.

He couldn't hold back, he gave her everything. "I love you…" His body shuddered and he clung to her urgently. His heart was full, and he felt like it might explode. "God, I love you."

Bella cried out and collapsed on top of him. Kissing her way up his chest, she met his eyes. She didn't say the words that were begging to get out. She felt them, but she couldn't share them.

She may not have said them, but Edward could see them shining back at him. He wrapped his arms around her, for the first time ever in his life feeling complete. But as he looked down at her head, a smidgeon of doubt crept in. He was afraid. Would she still leave him? His arms tightened and his eyes closed as exhaustion began to overtake him. Maybe if he held her tight enough she wouldn't go.

Bella was glad when his arms tightened around her, because part of her was screaming to run away - to get out and leave. The euphoria was slowly wearing off and the guilt and fear were resurfacing. Wrapped tightly in his arms she was unable to move and this was good. She didn't even want to contemplate leaving. Not yet. Right now they felt so right together, fit so perfectly.

*****Whoa, now that was kind of fun to write. ;) **

*****I received so many reviews the last chapter! I have 1040 reviews! That is awesome. I love you guys. Keep it up. I may send you something special this time around. **


	28. Chapter 27

**! It's 9:00 Monday night and I just realized that the chapter I submitted is not the one I wanted you to read... :( There's not much difference, but I went through and changed a few things here and there, tweeking it. I hope everybody gets a chance to read the corrected version. I like it so much better. !**

*****This chapter is dedicate to all my Emmett lovers. I love your hearts and feelings for the big man. **

*****Words can never describe my feelings for the beautiful girls that help me with this story. Thank you RoryCullen, AnotherJen and JulieGirl. xxooxx**

*****These characters are loosely based on Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. Therefore I do not own them. Thank you.**

_**Chapter 27- Betrayed**_

"_You're leaving for good?" Emmett's distressed heart gave a jerk._

"_Maybe… yes... most likely."_

_Emmett nodded, took one last look at her, and walked out the door._

Bella's words hung in the air around him, repeating in his head. She was leaving... _leaving_. Was she going back home to stay? Or moving to New York? So many questions that he had wanted to ask her, but hadn't. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answers, especially if it involved her being with someone else.

He headed for the highway, anxious to get home to Forks. He needed his family and the peace he hoped to find there. Everything was so messed up right now and he just couldn't deal anymore. Hopefully at home he could relax and think.

He pulled into the driveway with a long sigh, his body automatically sagging back against the car seat. He stared at the house for a while, unsure of how he was going to explain things to them. The front door opened and his mother came out. She walked to the car and opened his door.

"Are you going to sit out here all night?" she asked, bending to see him.

"Maybe…" His fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he looked up at her. Taking a deep breath, he slowly got out of the car, retrieved his bag and followed her inside. There were already some Christmas decorations up, and the hall was hung with old photos of Christmas' past. He stopped for a minute to look them over. He, Alice, and Edward as children smiled back at him, reminding him of simpler times.

"Alice and Jasper are already here. They went out to get a few things from The Home Depot." She stood beside him, anxiously looking him over.

Emmett nodded. He scanned the living room as memories of time spent with Bella mixed with those of his family. "No tree?"

"We were waiting for everyone to get here. Are you hungry?"

Shaking his head, he said, "I think I'll just go up to my room. I'm beat, maybe I can get some sleep." This was harder than he thought. He had hoped to find some peace, but he was being assaulted with the past. He and Bella had spent a lot of time here together and he knew it would only be worse in his room.

His large frame filled the doorway, and he paused to adjust to the emptiness that consumed him. Sitting on the bed, he put his head in his hands and tried to breathe. Would he ever be able to relax? Would he always feel this lost?

A knock sounded on the door. "Come in."

His mother's solemn face peaked around his door. "Are you okay?"

"Honestly? No." He looked at his mother, sorrow etched across his face. "It's Bella. She's... uhhh… Well, I guess she's changed her mind about us." At her nod, he gave her a rueful smile. "Alice already told you."

"Yes, she wanted to make things easier for you. I'm glad she did." She took a step closer to him, her hand extended to offer comfort.

Emmett rose and moved away from her. If she touched him, he wouldn't make it through this talk. "I think I'll go for a walk."

"Honey, it's late. I thought you were tired?"

"I just need to breathe. I need some space." He stood and opened his suitcase, pulling out an old sweatshirt. He choked as Bella's perfume slammed into him and his grip tightened around the shirt. _Damn it... _She'd worn this shirt _all_ the time. Alice must have unknowingly thrown it in his suitcase. Tears threatened to spill and his shoulders shook with the effort to not cry in front of his mother.

Esme walked to her son and took the offensive material away from him. She threw it in the hall and closed his door before wrapping her arms tightly around him. She hated seeing her big, grown son in so much pain.

"Mom..." his voice cracked as she rubbed his back softly.

"I know, baby. I know."

It was some time later before Emmett was ready for that walk. His mom brought in another sweatshirt for him to wear, and he gratefully slipped the clean shirt over his head before heading outside.

The cool, clean air felt good as it filled his lungs. He stayed on the porch for a bit, just looking around. He had missed this - the quiet, the fresh air, being able to see the stars. This was the only place where he felt like he could really think, where he could look at everything clearly without any distractions. Stepping down, he found some old trails leading into the woods. He followed them, taking his time and relishing the isolation. He didn't mind being alone when he was out here.

He'd only gone a short distance when he began to go over the events of the last year. Things hadn't been right with Bella for awhile. She was always busy with school, and she'd needed extra time to study. She had distanced herself from him, choosing to spend time with Angela instead. He hated that he'd been upset with her over it. College was extremely important to Bella. Emmett _knew_ that. It was why he'd asked his brother to help her. Edward had been able to bring a smile to Bella's face that Emmett hadn't. When she got that A on her paper, she had been ecstatic. It had been the first time in months that he had seen her smile like that. It hadn't changed anything though. She still needed to study and hours were spent at the library with Edward. For the first time, Emmett realized that it had bothered him more than he wanted to admit. She'd spent more time with Edward than she had with him.

He thought things would get better after he got the promotion at work. He'd hoped it would help since he would be home more, but it didn't. When he _was _home, she was withdrawn and it seemed everything he tried failed. The only time she'd been happy was when he'd gotten the New York tickets, but even that hadn't lasted. So he'd spent more time at his job and Bella spent more time with Edward. Suddenly, they were having coffee together and she was going to the movies and eating dinner with _him_.

Emmett stopped in his tracks, his brow furrowing, a deep frown marring his features. "Fuck!" he yelled out in anger. She had been spending so much time with _Edward_. Could they… Could Edward and Bella… He pressed his fingers against his temples, trying to alleviate the sudden, sharp pain there. No... _no_, that wasn't possible. He couldn't even think like that. Edward wouldn't do that. Emmett felt disgusted with himself for even entertaining the thought. Yet, it continued to poke at him, leaving him doubting and confused. He mentally pushed it away, forcing himself to not dwell on it.

Maybe he and Bella had subconsciously avoided each other, because they were afraid to talk about the way things were changing. So much had gone wrong, too many arguments left unsolved, too much time spent apart. If he was honest, he could see why things fell apart. Was she that unhappy? If only she had come to him, maybe...

Sighing heavily, he kept walking, until finally he was so tired he couldn't think anymore. By the time he got back to the house, it was late and everyone was asleep. He was exhausted, and he fell asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

-xx-

Sunlight streamed into his room, beaming across his bed and hitting him in the face. At any other time, a sunny day in Forks would be a welcome sight, but not today... not for Emmett. He tried to shut the light out; to fall back to sleep, to avoid, a bit longer, to no avail. He stretched his tired muscles, feeling achy from his restless slumber. Squinting against the glare, he forced himself out of bed. He shuffed to the window and looked out at a blanket of snow. The sun was reflecting off of it and everything looked serene and peaceful. Emmett turned from the window, yawning and looking down at his stomach when it rumbled, reminding him that he needed to eat. A clean pile of clothes lay stacked on his dresser and he felt a little better upon seeing it; silently, he thanked his mother. He slipped on some jeans and a t-shirt before going downstairs to join his family.

Alice and Jasper were sitting at the table, while his mom was at the stove, the smell of fried batter filling the air. Emmett sniffed appreciatively as his stomach let out a loud growl, reminding him he had skipped dinner the night before. His mom turned, a plate full of pancakes balanced in her hand.

"Sit. Eat." She sat the stack on the table and Emmett situated himself in front of them. The first bite melted in his mouth and he moaned in gratitude. They were good, and he enjoyed just sitting quietly and eating. He looked around the table smiling, happy to see his family all together. Alice and Jasper also had their mouths full.

Two people were missing though. "Where's dad and when's Edward getting here?"

Everyone grew still, Alice with a bite halfway to her mouth. His mom seemed stiff as she stared out the window. Finally, Jasper spoke. "Your dad's at work. Early morning shift."

He went back to shoveling in his pancakes. Emmett looked between his sister and mother, wondering about the sudden tension in the air. "And Edward?"

Mom turned, a tight smile on her face. "I'm sure he will be here soon."

Alice scowled, rolled her eyes and slammed down her fork. "I'm not hungry anymore." She left the room quickly.

"What the hell was that?" Emmett cocked his eyebrow at Jasper, who just shrugged a wicked grin lighting his face.

"I don't know. PMS?"

Emmett sputtered, his face growing red. "Ugh, that's my sister you're talking about." He let the subject drop and went back to his breakfast. "Mike asked me to stop by for dinner. Did you know that he and Lauren had a baby?"

Esme nodded, a small smile forming. "Yes, I saw them at the grocers yesterday. A beautiful baby girl. It'll be nice for you to see them again."

-xx-

The house was green, with white shutters, and a swing on the front porch. He parked in the driveway behind an old red tow truck, with Captain's Auto Body written on the side.

He was greeted at the door by the smiling eyes of Lauren Newton. "Emmett!" She hugged him fiercely and ushered him inside. "It's been too long," she admonished him teasingly. "We had to have a baby just to get a visit from you?"

Emmett shook his head as he realized it had in fact been over a year since he last saw them. Rubbing the back of his neck, he hung his head sheepishly. "Yeah... Sorry."

Lauren just smiled and took his hand. "You're here now, that's what matters. Mike is anxious to see you. He's in the backyard. Our baby girl is asleep right now, but as soon as she wakes up, I'll introduce you."

"Do you always grill out in the snow?" Emmett asked, shaking his head and smiling broadly as he walked out the back door.

"Hell yeah… whenever I feel like a good steak, you bet your ass. About time you got down here to see me." Mike slapped him a good one on the back before turning again to the grill. "We missed you.'

Mike handed Emmett a beer, and after throwing some steaks on the fire sat down with him. They talked while the food cooked, filling each other in on what was happening in their lives.

"I'm really sorry about what's happened with you and Bella. I know you loved her. Hell, she's the only reason you moved to Seattle. Remember how you practically cried when you left?" Mike snickered, moving the meat around the grill.

"I think you were the one with the tears in your eyes."

"Yeah. Maybe I knew things wouldn't be the same around here with you gone." Mike's face grew serious. "I have something important to talk to you about - a business venture. I need your help. First though we need to take these steaks inside. It's time to eat."

The baby woke, just as Lauren was sitting down. "It always happens this way. Excuse me for a minute."

Emmett swallowed hard when she came out carrying the baby. He blinked rapidly, and cleared his throat. He could only think of the future he had hoped for - he and Bella, just like this, with a baby, a house. However, as he sat there staring at Lauren, he realized that Bella had never wanted this. She never spoke about getting married or having kids. He was always the one to bring it up and she would get uncomfortable and blow him off, making a comment about them being to young or that it was something they could figure out much later.

Lauren squatted next to Emmett to show him her baby. "This is Annemarie."

The rest of the night was spent discussing the trials of parenthood, and Mike's new venture. He wanted Emmett to open a place with him. "Cappy's planning on retiring. I could buy the garage from him for a steal. But I can't do it alone. I figured that maybe now you could come home."

Emmett looked down at his hands. He would love to say yes, but there was Bee. He still loved her and he wasn't sure if he was ready to completely give up on her yet.

"I'll think about it, Mike. There's a lot going on with me right now, plus I have a job already... and... I just… let me think on it."

Mike nodded and the conversation turned towards old times, playing football and hanging out at the lake. Of course, that made Em think of Bella.

He was still thinking of her while he lay in bed, trying to sleep. He tossed and turned, and before he knew it was morning.

He gave up trying to get any sleep. He just couldn't stop thinking about everything going on in his life right now. He had too many decisions too make, too many unanswered questions. He got up and went out for another walk.

He tried to relax, to enjoy the cold air and new fallen snow, but he couldn't. He only grew more confused and tired. He wanted Bella, but he knew that probably wasn't going to happen. He'd asked her to think about them, to be sure. Was she sure? Mike wanted him to move home, open a shop together. Emmet wanted that more than anything. But could he just throw in the towel and give up completely on the life he'd lived for the past three years? Could he start over? And most painful and confusing of all was the still present thought of Bella and Edward. No matter how hard he tried to push it away, it wouldn't leave.

He went back to the house with the intention of going to see Mike. His friend wanted to show him the garage and talk over some improvements he wanted to make. Plus, maybe Mike could help. He wasn't in the middle of all of it; he would be an unbiased ear with honest advice.

Walking inside the house, he shook the snow off and hung his coat in the closet. He could hear voices coming from the kitchen.

Alice's words stopped him in the hallway and he leaned against the wall, quietly listening. "I just think he should know. It's not right - him being so unaware. I love them both, but what's happening is wrong."

"What good would it do?" His mom's soft voice trembled and he was certain she was crying.

"What about when he sees them together?" Emmett's face paled and he took a step back. His sister continued, her voice growing louder. "I'm afraid she's going to destroy our family. He's going to be so hurt, they both are."

Emmett's heart pounded in his chest as the reality of his situation rushed in.

_The way Edward looked at Bella, his eyes following her everywhere she went._

_Edward leaning in to her whispering and her soft laughter that followed_.

_Bella's actions when Edward had been with that girl. _

_Bella's refusal to tell him who she was seeing._

_Edward's recent absence and lack of calls._

Everything that he already knew clicked into place. Emmett's face reddened and his breathing accelerated. Entering the kitchen, he looked around at the shocked faces. "Emmett." His mother reached out to touch him, but he stepped away.

"Everyone knows but me? Dumb Emmett who is too stupid to see what is right in front of his face." Swallowing down the threatening tears, he scowled darkly. "Well, guess what. I _did _know. I just didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to believe that my own brother would do something like this."

Turning, he left the kitchen and ran upstairs. Once in his room he pulled out his phone, scrolled to her name, and hit send. He listened to the ring back, a favorite song of hers, and clenched his eyes shut tightly. There was no answer.

_He was a kid again, hurt, and bleeding. He'd crashed his bike, and his hands and knees were scuffed up. Edward knelt beside him. "It's okay, let me help you." His hand encircled Emmett's arm and pulled him up. Emmett leaned hard against Edward as they hobbled up the sidewalk towards home._

Emmett's hands clasped over his eyes, trying to get rid of the things he was seeing.

_Edward sat down next to him. "I got you something, too. Don't tell mom." It was wrapped in green paper, with the words happy birthday printed all over it. Emmett grinned and tore open the paper. It was a football. Emmett jumped up and yelled, giving a fist pump. He didn't think he was going to get one of these. Mom thought football was dangerous. "Let's go in the backyard and toss it around some," Edward said, standing and leading the way. Emmett grinned after him. He had the best brother in the world._

He tried Edward's number. It went directly to voicemail.

_Emmett and Edward sat eating pizza, while Bella went to get them a beer. Edward's eyes followed her, his lips parted as he watched her walk away._

With a growl he swung his arm out across the dresser, knocking old trophies on the floor, and breaking a lamp.

_Bella smiled at Edward, thanking him for the gift, and giving him a hug. She lingered with him a little and there was a slight blush on her cheeks when she pulled away. _

Emmett could no longer hold back the anger and sorrow as he yelled loudly, dropping to his knees. His door opened and his mom came in.

"Emmett.." She rushed to him, but he turned away from her.

"Get out." A hand squeezed his shoulder. "Please, just leave me alone." He knelt on the floor, knowing they wouldn't leave him be. He needed to get out of here. Grabbing his keys he hurried outside, ignoring Alice who was anxiously waiting in the hallway.

-xx-

Emmett barely felt the cold, or the sting of the wind and salt water spray. He felt like a part of him was dying and he'd never be the same. He walked along the shore, feeling like he could just keep going. Going and never stopping, never coming back. Nothing had prepared him for this. Losing Bella hurt, but losing his brother was killing him.

"_We'll stick together, you and me. Don't worry." Edward sat down next to Emmett on the porch. "I may be going off to college, but I'll be coming back all the time." Emmett sniffled and tried to hide from Edward. He didn't want his big brother to think he was a baby for crying. He was thirteen years old, he shouldn't cry anymore. "Emmett?" Sighing, Edward walked down the remaining steps. "I have to go now." Mom and dad came out ready to take Edward away. "I'll miss you, buddy." Emmett looked up at his brother, surprised to see tears on his face. He stood and hurried to him. They hugged, squeezing each other tightly. "I'll be home soon and we can have some ice cream while you fill me in on all I missed. Okay?" Emmett nodded and stepped back, crying a little more as he watched them drive away. _

The sky was darkening as the sun began to set. Emmett hadn't realized he had been out there so long. His fingers were numb, and his face burned from the cold. He'd ignored his phone while walking, so he wasn't surprised at the missed calls and urgent messages from his family. There were even some from Mike. They must've called him.

He didn't want to go home, knowing they would bombard him with questions as soon as he walked in the door. He thought about getting a room at the hotel. Instead, he called his father.

"Come home." There was a worried edge to his dad's voice and Emmett felt bad for causing it.

"I don't know if I can. It's too much. I can't be around anyone right now."

"I'll tell them to leave you alone." His dad sighed, "Son, come home."

And he did. He went back home and just like his dad had promised, no one bothered him as he walked upstairs to his room.

He lay on his bed and thought of her. He missed her. Edward's betrayal burned deep and he wanted to talk to his best friend, but _she_ was the reason for the betrayal. His heart ached and he turned on his side to gaze balefully out the window. A large gust of air pushed out from his lips, followed by a small moan of discomfort.

He couldn't sleep and he doubted that he would ever be able to again.

Giving up on the idea of getting any rest, he finally stood and went into the kitchen. Everyone was asleep and the house was quiet.

Bella should be at her dad's by now. She'd said she was going there. Why didn't she answer her phone when he called? Maybe he should try her parents' house, but it was late and he didn't want to wake anyone. Besides, maybe she was sleeping, or out with friends here in town.

He took his time drinking a glass of milk and eating a peanut butter sandwich. He grabbed a book from his dad's office and went back to his room. He sat and stared at it, but was unable to concentrate and after reading the same passage three times, he let it fall to the floor.

Dawn was breaking through his window and he stood, looking outside. He needed to talk to Bella again. He had to hear it from her that all this was true. He wanted to know why. After showering and dressing, he made his way over to her parent's place.

He knocked on the door, but there was no answer. It was early, but Bella's dad was usually up by now so someone should be there. He tried again, but still no answer.

She wasn't there.

Edward wasn't here yet either.

It was like a slap in the face and Emmett's head hung low as he grabbed at the sides of the door. _That didn't take long, _he thought angrily, slamming his fist into the door, before turning and walking quickly away.

He went back home and stood in the middle of his living room, his arms shaking as anger surged through him- anger and _hurt_. He didn't know what to do with himself.

He was lost.

****My heart is sick. Emmett... I hope this may give some insite to the few of you out there who seem not to care that this beautiful man is being hurt. All in the name of love. Sigh... *sobs***

*****Thanks you all for reading and please review. Hugs.**


	29. Chapter 28

*****I want to again thank the lovely ladies that work on this story with me. Such inspiration. JulieGirl, RoryCullen, and AnotherJen. Love ya!**

*****The usual disclaimer on how Edward and Bella aren't mine. **

_**Chapter 28 - The Bubble**_

He awoke warm, content… happy. His face was buried in silky brown hair, cinnamon floated around him in the air. A sheet was pulled up over them so he couldn't see her, but he could feel the soft curves as his fingers trailed down her arm and across her hip. Slipping her hair over her shoulder, he bent to place kisses there and at the back of her neck.

Bella stirred, the most delicious sensations awakening her body. "Hmmmm," she hummed, her head falling forward to allow him more access.

Edward slipped down as his lips brushed across her back, leaving open mouth kisses on her skin. He caressed the small curve of her waist, down along her butt, hips, and thighs. She sighed when his hand prodded her onto her back.

"Stay with me," he said softly, leaving small bites around her abdomen, below her belly button, and lower still.

"Edward…"

"For today, let's forget and just be." Lifting his head, he locked eyes with her. "Stay. Don't go to Forks yet."

She nodded and he smiled. It was brilliant and bright and she lost her soul a little bit more to him.

Then he was between her legs and there was no more coherent thought. Bella gave herself over to him, forgetting everything and seeing only Edward. He buried himself deeply, tasting and loving her. She gripped the sheets and squeezed her eyes shut, unable to look and feel at the same time - it would be too much. He groaned when she began to move under him as she fell apart, his own hunger swirling around him. Shaking, she called out his name, overcome and reduced to nothing but sensation.

Smiling devilishly, Edward kissed his way back to her, his mouth on hers, sucking at her lips, laving at her tongue. Bella could taste herself on him and it made her want him again. Wrapping her legs around him, she pulled him close, pushing her feet into his thighs until he moved and centered himself where she wanted him.

They loved each other slowly, taking their time, touching and kissing. Bella's fingers tangled in his hair. Edward's mouth explored, enjoying her collarbone, her breasts, the dip between her shoulder and neck. His tongue left her nipples erect and wet, and she bit her lip as she arched against him.

When the pressure built he moved faster, his eyes never leaving hers. Her face contorted in pleasure as her eyes rolled back in her head and her mouth fell open. Beautiful sounds and garbled words of need flowed from her lips. She opened her eyes to see Edward lose himself as his head dropped forward and his lips moved silently.

-xx-

Edward rose from the bed, his lean form drawing Bella's attention. Her gaze followed him as he walked around the room, naked and beautiful. He slipped on a pair of boxers and she groaned in disappointment.

Grinning, he turned to her, his eyebrows raised. Her bottom lip was sticking out in a cute pout and he bent to kiss her, biting it softly. "We need to eat."

To validate his point, her stomach grumbled loudly and he laughed. Her face heated as she flopped back against the bed mortified. His laughter faded as his eyes darkened, sweeping over her exposed and bare from the waist up. His fingers stretched out and trailed along her breast. Licking his lips, he continued down along her abdomen and across her hips. She looked at him, her eyes hooded and dark, her mouth slightly parted.

"You're hungry." His voice was low, deep and resonated through her, causing her to shiver.

She reached up, pulling him closer. "Yes... yes, I am," she breathed as he took her lips with his.

-xx-

The sun was high when they finally made it out of bed, both of them famished. Edward stood in front of the stove flipping grilled cheese sandwiches, while Bella sat beside him perched on the counter top.

When the sandwiches were done, they both sat at the table eating quietly. Edward watched her pick her sandwich apart, tearing each piece off before placing it in her mouth. Her leg brushed against his under the table and she sighed, a small smile on her lips as she gazed at him.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked.

"Green," she confessed while looking in his eyes. He smiled, and took a bite of his sandwich.

She watched him chew and swallow the piece before he took a long drink of milk. He had a little mustache when he set down his glass and she swept her thumb over it, wiping it away. Without thinking, she stuck her thumb in her mouth and licked it off.

Edward held his breath as her thumb disappeared in her mouth and with a wobbly voice asked, "What kind of music do you like?"

She thought about it before answering. "I love music, so I listen to almost everything. Except Rap." Her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Hardcore Rap is _not_ something I enjoy."

Edward nodded and stood, putting his empty glass in the sink. "Be right back." He left the kitchen and Bella stayed eating her sandwich with a smile. She felt more content than she had in a very long time.

Music filled the room, as Edward walked back in, his boxers slung low, a slight grin on his face. The song was slow, and the sounds of the piano melody made Bella smile when she recognized it. "Good choice."

Edward smiled while taking her hand. He pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arm around her, his hand gliding over her back, and resting at her waist. He placed her hand on his shoulder and let go, as he slowly began to sway. "Every time I listen to this song, I think of you."

Bella quieted, listening to the soulful sounds of Adele. She snuggled deeper into his chest as her hand curled up at his neck, playing with his hair.

_I dare you to let me be, your one and only. _

_I promise I'm worth it, to hold in your arms. _

_So, come on and give me a chance, to prove I'm the one who can _

_Walk that mile, until the end starts. _

She looked up at him, her eyes shining, a small smile on her lips. "I…" sighing heavily, she looked down as she bit her lip. Every time she tried to say it the thought stuck in her throat. She was frustrated with herself for not being able to express to him how she felt.

Edward hooked his finger under her chin, raising her face to his. His eyes searched hers as he bent forward, his lips hovering over hers. "I know."

The soft press of his mouth sent a shiver through her and she wondered how it was that he made her feel so complete.

They stayed in each others arms, as the song played on. His hand gently rubbing circles across her back, his eyes closed as he held her. She felt so right in his arms and he wanted to stay right there, in that moment forever.

But the song had to end and as a new one began, Edward broke the silence, resuming his earlier questioning. "Coke or Pepsi?"

She leaned her forehead against his chest, smiling. "Coke."

"Your favorite food?"

"Spaghetti and meatballs." He laughed and squeezed her to him. She looked up through her lashes, her voice tentative, questioning. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well… what's your favorite color?"

His fingers fanned through her hair, before settling on her neck. "Brown."

Bella sighed and pressed her cheek back against him. "And your favorite food?"

He grinned into her hair. "Burnt pork chops."

Slapping him softly in the chest, she giggled. "No, really."

"Apple pie. My mom always makes the best apple pie. And before you ask, I like Coke, too. So, you're lucky."

Bella had grown still when he mentioned his mother. He didn't want her thinking about all that, so he pulled her closer and asked her more questions, quickly drawing her away from her melancholy thoughts.

They remained in each others arms dancing, and quietly learning the things they didn't know.

-xx-

"Edward."

"Yes, Bella."

"_Please_..."

"Please, what?"

"Oh God..."

"I'm not sure he can help you right now."

"I can't take anymore. _Please_."

"But I like what I'm doing. I don't want to stop."

"Ahhhhh..."

"Mmm, is that better?"

"Yes, _yes_..."

"Ung…uh, that's not fair."

"Oh yes it is. It's my turn."

"Shit... Damn it, Bella."

"Hmmmm..." 

-xx-

The hot water poured over his tired body. He was exhausted, but had never felt so alive and he couldn't stop smiling. The bathroom door opened and he flicked back the shower curtain to see Bella's head sticking in past the door.

Water ran down his face, pooling along his upper lip and dribbling over his neck and shoulders. Bella swallowed, trying to remember what she came in there for. His smile grew as she continued to stare at him. "Want to come in?"

"I already showered," she mumbled, shaking her head as she remembered her purpose. "I'm ordering Chinese. What do you like?" She was wearing a pair of his boxers and one of his t-shirts. She looked incredible. "Edward! Food?" She smirked, liking the way she affected him.

"Get me a vegetable lo mien and a General Chou's Chicken with fried rice."

She stepped back out again and he turned back to the water, quickly rinsing, he got out and wrapped a towel around his waist. She had left him with a little problem and he needed to take care of it.

"We've only got ten minutes!" Bella squealed running from him. "How can you possibly be ready? Don't you need some recovery time or something?" She giggled as she dodged right and then left, barely missing his outstretched arm.

Edward scowled, stopped, and dropped the towel. "Does it look like I need a recovery period?"

Bella stopped, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as her eyes fixated on him. Edward growled and stalked toward her. He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom where he tossed her on the bed. Bella bounced and squirmed, sitting up and scooting away from him. He crawled towards her, grabbing her ankles and pulling her under him.  
"Tease."

Bella giggled again as she pushed on his chest. "Let me..." He wouldn't budge and she growled in frustration. "Edward! Let me on top."

Edward's smile fell as his eyes darkened. He flipped over, settling her over him. She smiled wickedly and bent to kiss along his neck, warm wet kisses along his shoulder and collar bone. Laving at his nipples, she hissed liking the feeling of being in control. He groaned and shifted underneath her. Her tongue traveled over his abdomen, licking his navel and trailing down along the muscles in his hips. He yelled out and his hips jerked when her mouth encircled him. His fingers twisted in her hair and his head lifted as he strained to see her. The sight sent him over the edge and his body shook under her.

Bella grinned, leaning on his thighs. A knock sounded on the door and she sat up. "Just in time. Luckily, it didn't take you very long," she jokingly mocked him.

Edward sat up, his eyes wide, shocked. "Hey!" He feigned injury, covering his dick with his hands, his pride wounded. He watched her walk away, a half smile on his face, his eyes wide in disbelief.

She stopped in the bathroom, grabbing a drink of water and giving herself a glance in the mirror. Her shirt was all crumpled up, Edward's shorts barley staying on, her hair was a rat's nest, but she didn't care. She just wanted the food and to quickly get back to Edward.

Bella was grinning broadly as she flung open the front door, money gripped tightly in her hand, but when she looked up at the person standing in front of her, her smile faded. She stepped back with a gasp and the money dropped to the floor. The bubble she and Edward had been spending the day in exploded with a resounding pop.

"Esme..." Bella gasped, clasping her hand over her mouth. Esme stood in the door, frozen, her face a mask of shock, her eyes roving over Bella.

Edward yelled from the bedroom, "Is that the delivery guy? I'm starving."

Bella shook her head, "I... umm... I'll go get Edward." Turning, she darted down the hall. "It's not the delivery guy," she muttered while pulling on her jeans quickly. Her face was flushed, her eyes half crazy as she picked up her shoes.

"Bella, what's wrong? Who is it?" He was worried; he didn't like the way her eyes looked everywhere but at him. Apprehension crept in, and he stood, reaching out to take her hand. "Stop. What are you doing?"

"I'm getting dressed! This is insane! I never should have... I can't…" She finally stopped to look at him. "It's your _mother_. Esme is here," she hissed. "She saw me... like this." Her arms waved about frantically as she neared hysterics.

Edward's pulse raised and he took a step back, before pushing his own feelings down and concentrating on calming Bella. He took her in his arms, leading her to the bed, talking softly. "It's alright. I needed to talk to her anyway. Just relax, please. Sit down and breathe. I'll go see her." He gave her one last squeeze before letting her go.

The sheets were askew, the pillows were on the floor, and it smelled of Edward and sex. Bella couldn't sit on it. It made her body ache and her heart stutter. She couldn't deal with that on top of the guilt and sadness eating at her. She shook her head. "No, I have to go. I need to go home." Pushing away from him, she practically ran out the door.

"Bella!" Edward called to her, cursing as he fumbled for his jeans, yanking them on.

Bella rushed past Esme, glancing at her once as guilt consumed her. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she passed.

Edward ignored his mother, all his focus on the girl running away from him. His heart pounded in his chest from fear. She couldn't leave. Everything had been perfect, she just couldn't leave. "Bella, please... stop. Talk to me. Don't run away." It was like she didn't  
even hear him, not even looking back as she moved further and further away from him. "Bella!"

She did hear him, but she couldn't look back, she couldn't stop. She was filled with guilt and all she could see was the look of shock and disappointment on Esme's face. She passed the delivery guy in the hall, the smell of food hitting her in the face. Her stomach flipped and she rushed outside as the tears began to fall.

Edward looked down when he felt the gentle clasp of his mother's hand around his arm. "Edward, let her go."

"I can't"

"It's for the best."

He glared down at her anger, emitting from him in waves. "The best? For who? Emmett? _ME_?" He went back inside, his mom following closely behind. "I listened to you all those years ago when you told me to stay away, to not pursue her. What good did it do? All I did was alienate everyone I cared about. To what end? To only see her again, and feel it ten times more strongly than before."

"It was to protect you. To protect Emmett."

"_Me_? Are you sure about that? Because that's not how it felt. That's not how it feels now. Do you have any idea how I feel? Do you even care?" He paced around the room, consumed with fear and anger. "I love her! I've loved her since the first moment I saw her. But she was with Emmett, so I backed off. I ran away. I destroyed the relationship I  
had with my brother and my sister, because you said it was best for me to leave. Do you know how lonely I was? I had no one."

There was a knock at the door and Edward's heart leapt, as he hurried to it. It was only the food, and his head fell in disappointment. Taking the food he paid the guy and turned to his mom. He held the food up. "Hungry?" he cracked, his stomach revolting at the idea of food.

"Edward..." Esme stepped toward him, her hand out. She took the bags from him and sat them in the kitchen. Turning back to her son, she sighed softly. "Of course I care, sweetheart. I don't want to see either one of you get hurt."

"It's too late. I am hurt. She's gone and I have no idea if she's going home or to her parents… or somewhere else."

A soft touch on his shoulder brought his head back up. "I never meant for all this to happen. I thought you staying away from her would help you - to find someone else, to forget. You'd only seen her a few times. I didn't know you felt that strongly. I hoped being with Vicki would work out for you. I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"She loves me, you know." Esme closed her eyes, shaking her head. "She. Loves. Me." Even if she didn't say it out loud, he was sure of _that_. He stopped finally, his shoulders slumped, defeated. "Why did you come?"

"We couldn't get in touch with you. I'm guessing you turned your phone off? I wanted to tell you that Emmett knows before you came home. I didn't want you showing up unaware. He's figured out that you're the reason he and Bella aren't together."

Edward gave a harsh laugh. "_I'm_ the reason. Of course. It has nothing to do with where they want to be in life, that they have two totally different goals. That they weren't getting along." Rubbing his face with his hands, he squeezed his eyes shut tight, willing himself to get under control. "I'll talk to him. I'm not sure what I'll say. I'm sure he hates me right now." He wasn't sure how he was going to do that, but it was long overdue and he owed it to Emmett.

Esme sighed deeply, she wanted to take him in her arms like she did when he was a child, and hold him to her, taking away all his hurt. "I'm sorry. I wanted to help, but instead it seems I only made things worse."

He took her hand, kissing it lightly. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry I yelled at you like that." Rubbing his forehead, he stared hard at the floor. "I've made such a mess of things." He sighed, letting her go and moving away from her. "Let me get a few things before we leave."

"It's late. We can leave in the morning." Esme watched him with sad eyes and a sad heart.

"Just... give me a minute and we'll decide what to do. I'm just…" His voice cracked and he shook his head as he walked into his room.

He stood in the center of the room, looking around at the scattered clothes and bedding. His eyes landed on the bed and he grimaced in pain. She had left… no, she ran. _Again. _His body ached with the need to see her. It was stronger now than ever, now that he knew what it was like to have her. Now that he knew what they could be together. He wondered how he would even make it through tonight, much less tomorrow. He pulled out his cell, all the while knowing she wouldn't answer, but he had to try. He left her a message, praying that she would listen to it. "I love you. Today was the best day of my entire life. Spending it with you... being with you, laughing together. God, Bella, please… just call me before you do anything. We should talk. Quit running away. _Please_. I love you so much. I can't do this alone. I need you." He hung up without any hope that she would call him back.

*****I am not the only one with a busy life it seems, as the girls who help me gear up for the new school year. This was a little late, but I couldn't submit it without them. So… Hope it was worth the extra wait. Naked Edward makes everything worthwhile I think. Don't you?**

*****The song used in this chapter is Adele's One and Only. You can listen here - **

http:/www(.)youtube(.)com/watch?v=wA4ppvp2IzY&feature=related 


	30. Chapter 29

******A big I 3 U to my beautiful beta and prereaders. RoryCullen made sure I kept Bella lovable. AnotherJenny made me believe I could pull this off(she was so excited!) and JulieGirl who despite the rigors of RL came through again to fix my shit! Thanks ladies!**

*****I"m still not Stephanie Meyer, and these characters are still not mine. **

_**Chapter 29 - Drowning**_

The last few days had been hell. Emmett was stuck in a deep funk. He didn't talk much, never smiled, and hardly ate. His face was drawn and pale with dark circles under his eyes showing his lack of sleep. He was surly and cross when he did speak and spent most of his time outside.

Mike tried to break through to him by inviting him over to watch the game. Emmett reluctantly accepted.

"I don't want to talk about it." Emmett practically growled the words when Mike asked if he had heard from Bella. No, he hadn't heard from her and he didn't expect to. She had obviously moved on and forgotten all about him.

"I'm just sayin..."

"Mike! Can we just watch the game? I didn't come over her to share my feelings like some pussy." Taking a swig of beer, he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He knew it had been a bad idea to come over, but he was tired of staying home. His family was driving him crazy with their constant questions and concerned looks. He just wanted to be left alone.

Mike didn't say anything else and they settled into a tense silence which was only broken when Lauren walked in the door. "Bella's back."

Emmett scowled and looked up at Lauren as she walked into the room. "What?"

"Bella's home… I mean I saw her, she's here." Lauren's eyes darted between Emmett and Mike. "I thought you might want to know."

Emmett took one more drink of his beer before he stood. His face scrunched and puzzled, he walked out the front door without a word or a glance back. He could hear Mike behind him. "Emmett... shit! Lauren, why did you do that?"

The door shut behind him before he heard her answer. It didn't matter anyway; he only had one thought in mind- getting to Bella.

-xx-

Bella sat in the kitchen, an untouched glass of water in front of her. She stared blankly at the table, unable to do much of anything else. She had been this way since getting home yesterday - unable to cry, unable to eat, or even think. Her body yearned for Edward's touch. Her heart ached for him even while her soul cried out in guilt and shame over Emmett.

Her mother popped in to check on her, upset over her daughter's appearance– the glassy eyes and lackluster attitude worried Renee. Bella had confided in her about the turmoil between her, Emmett and Edward. Renee was extremely worried that Bella would let it tear her apart. "Can I get you something to eat?" she asked as she stood behind her daughter and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Bella shook her head no as she stood and walked around her mom. Renee sighed and called to her softly, but Bella didn't want to talk to her mom right then. As she went up the stairs to her room, she pulled out her cell phone. Lying down on her bed, she dialed her voice mail. Listening to Edward's messages had become a compulsion for her. She just needed to hear his voice.

_I love you. Today was the best day of my entire life. Spending it with you... being with you, laughing together. God, Bella, please… just call me before you do anything. We should talk. Quit running away. __Please__. I love you so much. I can't do this alone. I need you._

She was such a fool. He had given her his heart and what had she done? Run away… left without a word. Her fingers trembled as she scrolled to his name, hovering there, wanting to push send. But she was afraid and consumed with her guilt. It felt wrong calling him. She wasn't even supposed to be with him. It was all _wrong_. Shivering, she pulled the comforter up and around her, but the cold still seeped in.

The loud roar of a truck's engine had her glancing at her window. The sound of a knock at the front door forced her to sit up. Voices echoed up the stairs and the familiar sounding deep baritone made her heart thump in her chest. She stood and tiptoed to the door.

"No offense, Mrs. Swan, but I'm not exactly in the best shape either, and yet here I am. I have to see her."

Quietly, she snuck down the stairs. "I'm afraid I can't have you upsetting her anymore than she already is, Emmett." Although Renee could see the desperation in his eyes, she was determined to protect Bella. She'd known Emmett for a long time and was sorry for what was happening, but Bella was her daughter.

"It's okay, Mom." Bella stood behind her mother, but her eyes were fixated on Emmett. She could cry over the way he looked at her with eyes so lost and hurt. She swallowed hard and laid her hand on her mom's shoulder. "Mom..."

Renee took one more questioning glance at her daughter before reluctantly stepping aside and letting Emmett in. Emmett walked past her, taking Bella's hand and led her into the living room. He stared down at their clasped hands and took a shuddering breath before releasing her. "You look like shit."

A harsh laugh broke from her lips. "So do you."

Emmett nodded, staring at the floor. He couldn't look at her. "Bee…" He wiped his hands over his eyes. "Why Edward?"

Oh god, _he_ _knew_. She tried to breath, but it stuck in her throat as her eyes filled with tears. "Emmett…"

"I mean… how… shit… I... Bella, he's my _brother_."

Bella didn't know what to say and probably wouldn't be able to speak if she did. She sank down onto the couch, her hands clasped in front of her. Emmett walked over and sat down beside her. They were both quiet, the room silent.

"I'm sorry," Bella finally choked out.

"I'm sure you are." His voice was tinged with anger. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. He didn't want to yell at her. Although he was upset and angry, he still loved her. "Was it something I did? Something that made you not love me anymore? What made you look to someone else?"

Bella squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head frantically. "God, no. It wasn't you. I wasn't looking for anyone else. It just... we just… oh, Emmett. Things were different between us. Everything got so hard. We each want different things from our lives. I loved you so much I just ignored what was happening. I hoped everything would go back to the way it was. I think I just didn't want to admit we were falling apart."

"You loved me _so much_? How is that, Bella? Because when you love someone 'so much' you don't get involved with their brother. Wanting different things doesn't explain why you turned to Edward." Emmett pushed the words out; despite how hard it was he wanted to know. He wanted answers, to understand.

"I should have talked to you... been honest, but I... It's so damn hard to explain. I know that doesn't help, but I was afraid. I love you; I never wanted to hurt you and this thing with Edward... I didn't plan it." She stopped, frowning when he flinched. "I don't know why it happened, but it did." She didn't want to talk to Emmett about her relationship with Edward. She didn't want to tell him how she fell in love with his brother. It would only hurt him and she had done that enough already. She looked out the window, running through things she could say, but finding nothing that seemed right.

"Are you in love with him?" he whispered, looking down at his hands.

Her eyes shut, as a tear ran down her cheek. "Emmett, I don't want to hurt you."

Emmett's frustration broke through and he practically growled, "You've already done that. Just tell me. Are you happy with him? Are you going to be with him?" He stood up, pacing around the room. "Do you _love_ him?" He stopped to stare at her, to see the tears streaking her cheeks, to see the sorrow and pain in her eyes. "Bella…"

"I do…" She broke, and bit her lip to hold in the sobs as she watched the anguish that crossed his face.

"Fuck…fuck." he muttered his fists clenching as he stared at her. "How is that possible? How do you fall in love with someone when you're already with somebody else? If you started wanting him like that you should have stayed away from him. I mean, you keep saying you love me. So why didn't you just leave him the fuck alone? But you didn't and that doesn't make any sense, Bella. I don't understand it. I don't understand you!" He hadn't wanted it to go like this, but he was too hurt to stop the anger from coming through.

"Emmett... I'm sorry." She was a twisted ball of pain, the unforgivable hurt she was causing him made her sick.

"What?" His voice rose as his face flushed and he was unable to hold himself together anymore. "Were you in love with him while you shared our bed? Were you thinking of him when we were together? Is he why you turned away from me? Is that why you cried? Because you were thinking of him?" His eyes flashed blue ice, his face burned with contempt and madness. "Oh, God…Did you… Did you _fuck _him?"

Bella covered her face with her hands, her head shaking back and forth, while broken sobs escaped between her fingers.

"I loved you! I would never have hurt you like this. Never! The girl I loved wouldn't have done this. It's like I don't even know you anymore." He stood over her as she sobbed on the couch - his girl, his _life_. "God damn you!"

"Emmett!" Renee's sharp retort echoed in the room and he spun around to face her. "I think you should leave."

Renee was right, he should leave. He couldn't stand to be there anymore. He looked one last time at the girl he loved, her confusion and sadness mirroring on his face. "Goodbye, Bella." He walked away from her, promising himself to not look back.

-xx-

Edward pulled up to his parent's house with a tightness in his chest. What the hell was he going to say to his brother? He had thought about nothing else the entire drive and still he had nothing. How could he possibly explain what had happened? Was there any chance at all that Emmett would understand? He seriously doubted it. If he was in Emmett's shoes he would hate him.

His mother pulled in behind him and waved for him to come inside. She stood on the steps and watched him fiddle with the steering wheel and shake his head nervously. There was a slight smile on her lips when he got out. "You and your brother are a lot alike you know?"

Grabbing his bag, Edward raised his eyebrows as he looked up at her. "In too many ways, apparently."

Her smile fell and she turned to open the door. Sighing heavily, Edward followed her inside. It was quiet and no one seemed to be home. Relief surged through him. He was so nervous about seeing everyone. He wasn't sure how they all felt about him right now or if they even wanted him there. Alice would be angry, he expected that.

Swallowing painfully, he looked over the pictures his mom had hanging in the hall. There were many of him and Emmett as young boys. In almost every picture Emmett was looking up at his big brother – trusting him, loving him. Edward's lip trembled and he turned away, heading up the stairs to his old room.

Once in his room, he dropped his bag and pulled out his phone. He needed to talk to Bella. He was hurting so badly and he just wanted to hear her voice, to hear her tell him that she wasn't leaving him. He'd tried numerous times earlier, always getting her voicemail and this time was no different.

"I'm home, in Forks. Are you here, too? I miss you, Bella. I can't do this without you. I'm here to talk to Emmett. I'm a nervous wreck and just wanted to hear your voice. I know he's going to hate me. _I _hate me." Sighing, he rubbed a hand across his forehead and closed his eyes. "Shit, Bella, please call me. I love you." He hung up and sat his phone on the dresser.

The loud thump of footsteps on the stairs made his heart shudder. Anxiously, he rubbed his hands along his jeans and turned facing the door. Emmett walked in, his eyes hard as he glared at Edward. "You son of a bitch!"

Edward did not want to fight with his brother, but he could tell by the look in Emmett's eyes that there would be no other choice. "Emmett, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Em's eyes narrowed. "_Sorry_?" He took another step forward.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I tried everything to stop it." Edward needed Emmett to understand. He couldn't lose his brother like this.

Emmett let out a bitter laugh. "But you just couldn't help yourself, right?"

Edward shook his head. "No… I tried! Damn it, I tried! But I love her, Emmett. I'm in love with Bella."

Emmett's vision swirled as heat infused his chest. With a low growl, he lunged at Edward and without even being aware of it, he found himself throwing Edward up against the wall as his fist connected to his nose.

Edward jerked back as pain radiated up his face and through his head. He didn't raise his hands to defend himself nor to retaliate; he just hung there loosely while Emmett shook him. Emmett's face was red and screwed up in anger as he spewed hateful words at Edward. "You stupid mother fucker! How dare you even touch her? Who the fuck do you think you are? She was mine!"

"Emmett!" Esme yelled from the door. "Stop!"

Edward could see her through a cloud of pain over Emmett's shoulder. His eyes welled up with tears, as they flicked back to Emmett. "I'm sorry… _so sorry_."

Emmett didn't register Edward's apology. He didn't hear his mom cry out for help. There was a loud ringing in his ears and everything was red. All he felt was betrayal and anger.

Jasper and Alice burst into the room. "Oh no!" shouted Alice as Jasper raced forward and grabbed Emmett around the shoulders, attempting to pull him away. But Jasper was no match for Emmett and he easily shook him off.

A hard fist landed in Edward's stomach, and he buckled forward, groaning. "God damn, you fucking asshole. I'm your brother! She was my girl! I love her!" Emmett yelled. A hard hit landed on Edward's jaw and he slumped over, falling to the ground. Esme screamed. Edward's eyes fluttered and he groaned as blackness surrounded him.

Emmett stood over him, panting, his anger dissipating and leaving him with a sorrow so deep, so powerful that he couldn't stand. He dropped to his knees as he looked Edward over. His face was a mess of blood and tissue, already swelling and bruising. Esme rushed forward bending over Edward, her frantic hands fluttering over him. Crying softly, she prodded his shoulder. "Edward." There was no response. "Alice, call for an ambulance." She ran and grabbed a towel, holding it against Edward's face. Her accusing eyes stared up at Emmett in disappointment.

-xx-

Edward's eyes never left Emmett's as the paramedics looked him over. He'd woken before they got there, but he'd stayed in his spot on the floor, too sore and dizzy to move. He tried to speak, but it hurt too much and he groaned instead.

Emmett winced, the painful sound going straight for his heart. Despair clung to him and he had to look away. Edward grunted loudly, calling him back and once again their eyes locked. Edward shook his head, wanting Emmett to know that he understood that he didn't blame him for kicking his ass. He stretched his hand out in front of him, praying for one touch, one moment of forgiveness. It never came.

So many parts of Emmett wanted to accept the offer, but he was still so hurt and angry, that he just couldn't. He ignored Edward's hand, but continued to stare at him, eye to eye.

Edward was the one who finally turned away. He couldn't bear the look of betrayal in Emmett's eyes. It was too much and he felt ill. His stomach ached, but he wasn't sure if it was from his guilt or the punch he had taken. _Everything _hurt, but Edward welcomed it, he deserved it.

"Your nose is broken and you may have a few cracked ribs. You ready to take a ride?" The paramedic's kind voice brought Edward out of his thoughts and he nodded.

His mother hovered nearby, her hands knitted together as she glanced between him and Emmett. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it probably came out as more of a grimace. It hurt to smile.

Emmett watched them wheel his brother out of the house. He watched out the window as they loaded him into the ambulance. He watched as it drove away, his mom and sister following after it in their car. In his room, he shut the door in a desperate attempt to shut everything out. He looked in the mirror, at the blood splattered across his shirt. Raising his hands, he looked over the reddened knuckles and the broken skin. His eyes welled with a surge of despair. What had he done?

-xx—

_I'm home, in Forks. Are you here, too? I miss you, Bella. I can't do this without you. I'm here to talk to Emmett. I'm a nervous wreck and just wanted to hear your voice._ _I know he's going to hate me. __I __hate me. Shit, Bella, please call me. I love you. _

Bella replayed the message a third time. She had missed Edward's call while Emmett was there. She needed to talk to him, to tell him that Emmett already knew. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. Now that Emmett knew everything, she felt like she could open up to Edward. The words were pushing to get out and she was anxious to call him.

She was sitting on the couch, her feet curled under her, holding her phone, when her dad walked in the door. He sat down next to her, a deep frown marring his features. Bella was immediately alert as a feeling of dread crept up her spine. "We received a 911 call from Alice Cullen today." He paused as she leaned forward, her hand clutching the back of the couch tightly. "An ambulance was needed at their house. Emmett and Edward had an altercation."

Bella gasped and leaned forward. "An altercation? Come on Dad... _what_? What happened?"

"Edward's in the hospital. He's pretty banged up."

She sat stunned for a moment before rising to her feet and looking around frantically. She found her coat and threw it on, her hands shaking as she fumbled with her keys. Edward was hurt. He was in the hospital… he was hurt. She needed to be there.

"Bella..." Her mom said softly, shaking her head.

"What?" She bit out impatiently. She had to go … now. Her eyes widened as she looked at her mother.

Renee was shaking her head, frowning. "You can't go, Baby."

"What do you mean I can't go? Of course I have to go…" Bella's voice rose to a screech before she quieted and clutched at her keys. Slowly, reality began to seep in. What would she be walking into? The family would be there. Emmett may be there. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "I can't go, can I?" Pressing her hand to her stomach, she squeezed her eyes shut. "He's hurt and I can't go." Rubbing her forehead, she turned away and took her jacket back off. Renee stepped forward, reaching for her. Bella held up her palm stopping her. "I would be in the middle. I would only be causing more trouble." She bliknked rapidly, staring at her mom. "Oh God… this is it. This is how it will _always_ be. Isn't it? Me on the outside. Edward having to choose…"

"Sweetie…"

Turning toward her dad she asked, "Is he okay? Do you know? What about Emmett?"

"Sounds like he's not too bad, a few minor injuries. He'll be home tonight. Emmett didn't go in, so I assume he is fine." He followed her into the living room, shifting awkwardly on his feet. "I can keep an ear out. Let you know if I hear anything else."

"Thanks, Dad." At least she had that; at least she knew they were alright. She stumbled up the stairs, feeling that at any moment her knees were going to give out. How much more could happen? Today had been the most awful day of her life and it wasn't even over yet.

She knew what she had to do next. She didn't want to, but she didn't have a choice. It would be hard. Harder than anything that had happened so far, even the confrontation with Emmett.

She waited while the phone rang, and his voice mail picked up. Her heart skipped a beat as his voice reached across the line to her.

"Edward." Pausing, she took a deep breath before continuing. "My dad told me about what happened between you and Emmett. I'm sorry you had to get hurt like that. Everything is such a mess and it's entirely my fault. I keep hurting everyone." Her voice cracked as the tears started to fall once again. "I wanted to come see you, but I knew it would only cause more hurt. I can't do that to you or your family… or Emmett. I'm so sorry, Edward, for not calling sooner, for hurting you… for all of it. And I'm sorry for what I am about to say, but I believe it is the only way. I have to go away for awhile. I know you won't agree with me, but I'm right. There is too much between us to make this work. I can't stand between you and your family. I just can't. I have some things to figure out, too. I have dreams that don't involve Forks or Seattle. Maybe I should finally live them. I have two exams left at school… and… I'm asking you to _please_ allow me to take them without trying to see me. I can't bear it. I need some time and some space. Please give this to me. You must know that I'm not doing this because I don't love you. Because I do. I love you so much it hurts. You need to know that. I never said it and I should have, but I couldn't while Emmett was in the dark. I love you. I know I'm a coward to leave this message while you're in the hospital., but Edward…" She placed her hand over the phone, fighting for composure, fighting to go on. "Edward, I _love_ you. I love you. I'll miss you. Please be okay. I can't…" She stuttered and choked. "It's too hard to say goodbye. Oh, please. God, I'm sorry." She hung up and lay on the bed sobbing into her pillow.

*****Whew... are you all drained from this chapter as much as I am?** **Are these three ever going to be happy? They're killing me. But I think the hard part is over... yes? Where shall we go next?**

*****As always I am awed and amazed by you wonderful reviews. You are amazing. Thank you. **


	31. Chapter 30

*****I must thank the lovely ladies who pre-read and beta for me. They are amazing and I will always know that without you my writing would not be the same. RoryCullen, AnotherJen and JulieGirl - hugs to you.**

***** Disclaimer: These characters have the same names as the characters in some book called Twilight. I didn't write that.**

_**Chapter 30 - January**_

The paper slid across the desk easily, as Bella grinned at her professor. She was finished and she had done well. It was the last exam of her last day at UW. The weight that lifted from her shoulders had her sighing in relief. To have accomplished at least one of her goals made her feel so much better.

As she walked outside, she pulled her coat around her tightly. It was freezing, and the bitter, cold wind blew in her face. Her hair blew around her carelessly as she hurriedly made her way across the parking lot. Angela was waiting for her in a nice warm car to take her back to her place. She was packing her bags for Florida tonight, to go stay  
with her grandmother for a little while. Maybe while she was relaxing on white sandy beaches she could get her head straight. She needed to figure out what she was going to do about Edward. She missed him so much. Not seeing or talking to him was agonizing, but she didn't know what else to do. She was so afraid of causing more trouble.

Truthfully, she was terrified of jumping into something with him, after everything that had just happened with Emmett. She felt they all needed some time to heal and think. But _oh God_, how she missed him. She missed his touch, his smile, his warmth... everything. She dreamt about him last night. Hell, she dreamt about him every night. She awoke hot, sweaty and riddled with want and desire almost every morning. Her heart stuttered as she replayed last night's dream in her mind.

Edward stood, huddled against the wind. The van he chose to hide behind did little to block it. He watched the door to the building impatiently waiting for any sign of her. He'd thought about nothing for the past week, but getting to her.

She had said not to come, but damn it, he wasn't listening. He needed her. Didn't she understand that? He needed her so much. The last six weeks had been hell on earth. Everything reminded him of her. Christmas was horrible. Unable to spend it with his family, he sat alone in his apartment wanting nothing more than to call Bella and beg  
her to come see him. Somehow he had gotten through it, but he was done waiting. He hadn't called, hadn't given her any warning that he was going to be here. He'd just shown up. And he'd be damned if he was leaving without her. Bella was going to listen to him. He was not allowing her to run away again.

He saw her as she exited the building, her form bent forward slightly as she tried to keep warm. Her hair blew around her face and Edward's heart swelled. He wanted to wrap the long strands around his fingers and bury his face in its silky warmth. His body pulsed with anticipation as he watched her move across the campus, walking his way.

Bella almost screamed when the dark figure emerged from behind the van. He was tall, wearing a black coat and black beanie. But as she looked up into his face, she could make out the grey-green eyes of her Edward. Her breath left her body in a rush, as her eyes devoured him. He had a weeks worth of whiskers covering his face, but she could still see the faint blush on his cheeks and the redness of his lips. Her hands twitched at her sides, aching to feel the gruffness of the beard under her fingertips.

Edward reached out and took her arm, pulling her along the van. He leaned her back against the door and cupped her face between his palms. His mouth opened as if to speak, but no words came out as he looked her over. Eyes searched her face- skirting along her lips and running across her cheeks and down her neck. He wanted to just hold her there forever and never let her go. It had been too damn long since he had last seen her, last held her. Wide, startled eyes met his, swimming with the love he'd been missing. "Bella..."

Her name danced across her skin and she shivered. "Edward..." Reaching fingers caressed rough skin as she gave in to her compulsion. They slid along his chin and up across his cheek. Her thumb stroked over his bottom lip and quivered when his tongue peaked out to slide over it. Bella's inside's shuddered and tightened with delicious anticipation.

Edward leaned forward, his chest pounding. Her hand slipped behind to curl along his neck, as his lips met hers softly, tenderly. Honey, and sweet, and Bella... Edward groaned, deepening the kiss. Tongues met as passion rose, each grasping, hungering... The cold wind swept around them, forgotten.

Seconds, minutes... time passed without either being aware. The sudden loud honking of a horn from a passing car finally reminded them of their surroundings. Edward pulled back, breathless and determined. "Come home with me."

"Angela's waiting." Bella glanced behind him and pointed at a red Camry sitting across the lot. Edward took her hand firmly and led her over to the car. Once there, he tapped on the window, bending to look in as Angela rolled it down.

"Bella's going home with me."

Angela's eyes flicked nervously between Edward and Bella before landing on Bella and arching questionably. "It's okay." Bella moved in front of Edward, leaning in to speak to her friend. "I want to."

"Are you sure? You're okay?" Angela asked.

Bella nodded. "I'll call you later."

A small smile formed on Angela's lips as she gave a rueful laugh. "No you won't. After that kiss, I doubt I'll hear from you before your flight. Don't forget about your flight, Bella." She looked at her friend pointedly before rolling up her window and driving off.

Edward's brow furrowed. "You're leaving tomorrow?" At her nod, he sighed. He'd hoped for more time. "Come on," he said as he tugged her hand. Quietly, she followed behind him.

-xx-

Emmett awoke with a smile. He turned his head, his eyes searching and his hand reaching out for her. She wasn't there and for a moment his brow furrowed in confusion. Then he remembered and the confusion faded, leaving behind the hurt. This happened almost every single morning. He was sick of it. He needed to get out of this damn apartment.

Getting out of bed, he stretched and quickly showered. He wasted no time with breakfast; he needed to get out of there. He walked down the hall, grabbing his keys, and looking back briefly at the boxes lining the room. Some were hers; she was supposed to come get them before she left for Florida. They had talked a few days ago, about her collecting her things, him moving out, her moving away… she had cried. He closed his eyes not wanting to think about her or any of it anymore. Outside, he took a deep cleansing breath and made his way to work.

A cardboard box full of his belongings sat in front of him on the shop's counter. Today would be his last day working at Black's Auto; his last day in Seattle. Taking the box outside, he popped the trunk to his Mustang and sat it inside. At least he had finally gotten some work done on the car. It helped having something else to keep him busy, something to take his mind off of her… off of _him_.

"Hello?" A soft feminine voice called from the shop.

Jogging back inside, he smiled at the young woman there. "Hi. Can I help you?"

Rosalie Hale stood in the middle of the lobby, stunned and staring at the man who just walked in the door. He had broad shoulders and wore a blue t-shirt that clung to him like a second skin. Jeans hung low on his hips and covered seemingly endless long legs. _Damn._.. Her insides melted as she pasted her best smile on her face, standing up straight and flipping her long blonde hair up and out of her face.

Her smile faded, when he turned around. Eyes the color of a stormy sky stared back at her. She'd never seen such eyes on a man. There was such sadness there and he seemed to not really see her as he continued forward to the counter. Rose's mouth fell open as she gaped at him, something stirring deep inside her.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, giving her a smile that did not quite reach the emptiness in those beautiful eyes. "Miss?"

She stepped forward, trying to shake the feeling off. "Hi, I'm having some trouble with my car. My grandmother sent me here, said to ask for Emmett?"

"I'm Emmett." Emmett moved forward, briefly glancing her over. "Your grandmother wouldn't be Clara, would it?"

Rose laughed and nodded. "How did you know?"

Emmett smiled. "She may have talked about you a bit. She's a really great lady. What seems to be going on with your car?"

Rose showed him her car and explained the terrible noise it had been making lately. Emmett raised the hood and quickly looked things over. Rose stood by, her fingers tapping along the car as she watched him. Blue eyes ran over a well defined back and a tight ass. She smiled a little and bit her lip.

"Can you start her for me?" Startled from her gawking, Rose started the car. "Okay." Standing, Emmett wiped his hands on a towel and led her back inside. Rose followed closely behind him, her eyes never leaving his body. She thought about asking him out, but worried about the sadness so apparent in him.

"Seems to be the transmission. May take a few days, but we should be able to fix it without having to get a new one. Today's my last day, but the crew here is great. Jake Black does an excellent job."

Rose felt a keen sense of disappointment. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah, I'm moving back home." Rose waited for him to continue, but he didn't elaborate, instead filling out the needed paperwork.

"Where?" She realized she sounded a bit nosy, but she wanted to know.

"Forks. My parents live there. It's where I grew up." Handing her the copies she would need, Emmett rubbed a hand across tired eyes. "The guys will call when it's ready. I'll see what I can do before I take off." He looked at her briefly before his eyes darted away to focus on the papers in front of him. He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little. He didn't look back up and Rose wondered if he even knew she was still there.

"Thanks." She stood in front of him another minute, before quietly sighing and turning to leave. She couldn't stop herself from looking at him one more time before she left. He was turned toward the back wall, his head hanging low. The urge to go to him and take him in her arms to just hug him was so strong. Clenching her fists, she forced herself back outside.

"My God…." She whispered while getting into her friend Maggie's car.

"What?" Maggie asked.

"I think I just met my future, but he's moving away... to Forks."

"Forks? Isn't that where Tommy's going to work at the Sheriff's office?"

Rose nodded as she absently stared at the window. The inside of the car grew quiet as her thoughts centered on a man named Emmett.

Emmett worked a few more hours on the car that was brought in. Mrs. Hale was a special lady and he wanted to be sure her granddaughter's car was taken care of. He knew the guys would do a fine job, but it was important to Emmett to take care of this himself. Besides, he wasn't in a big hurry to go back to the apartment.

He left after everyone else did and locked up the store one last time. He expected to feel some remorse or sadness over leaving, but instead all he felt was relief. He was ready to leave this part of his life behind him. Mike was meeting him tomorrow and they would load up his truck and head home. He was finally through with Seattle.

-xx-

Edward held the door to the complex open for Bella, watching as she walked past him. His arm slipped around her waist as they entered the elevator. He kissed her softly on the temple, his hand running under her hair and along the nape of her neck. Bella's breath caught and her knees almost gave out. Bracing a hand against the wall, she tilted her head sideways as his lips trailed along her ear. "I need you," he whispered, his breath tickling, arousing.

The doors slid open and he gripped her hips, leading her into the hall. Keys jangled as he unlocked the door and pushed it open. The dark apartment was warm, and he shrugged out of his coat before slipping his hands inside hers to gently pull it off. Placing a finger under her chin, he pressed gently upwards. Their eyes met- his questioning, yet determined; hers soft, and nervous. "Did you really think I would let you go so easily? I love you too much for that, Bella."

Bella licked her lips as words jumbled in her brain. All her reasoning had vanished, just like she knew it would if he was with her. "I asked you not to come. I thought you understood."

"I never said I understood." His eyes darkened fractionally, a small grimace lining his mouth. "I never got to _say_ anything."

Her hand rose to rub against the crease in his forehead, trying to smooth out his anger. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

"This," he kissed her softly, "would have been better. _Anything _would have been better than leaving me."

His mouth moved over hers and the words were lost. Bella's hands lifted as she pulled off the beanie covering his hair. Soft, feather-like tendrils floated through her fingers. She pulled at it gently when the kiss tapered off, only to clench it once again as his lips trailed over her throat.

Edward was lost in her taste. Her mouth was sweet, her skin sweeter. A shirt lifted and was dropped by impatient hands that wanted to touch her. Fingertips moved over pale skin, warm and pink, caressing and drawing moans and sighs from plump, ripe lips. "Baby..." he groaned gruffly, while hard hands lifted and anchored her legs around his  
waist. He carried her into his bedroom and laid her on the bed

Lost in emotion, Bella called out, "Please..." Her body was alive and tingling, pulsating to the beat that only Edward played. Every impulse fired within her, as she arched and squirmed beneath him. Her sensitive breasts brushed against rough fabric and she grabbed, pulling at his clothing, unbuttoning and jerking, throwing it all aside. Finally, he was over her with nothing keeping her from feeling him pressed against her skin. She reached between them, tugging at her own pants, wanting them off. Hands gripped her wrists, holding them tightly and raising them above her head.

Edward stared down at her, all stretched out before him, giving him access to every part of her. He started at her breasts, his mouth encircling each hard nipple, licking and lavishing attention. Her body shook under his mouth as raw, musical sounds burst from her throat. Smooth, firm lips made their way down across her stomach, skimming along the waist line of her jeans. Slowly, a button and zipper released. Bella lifted her hips, eyes following his hands as they pulled her pants down and off. Calloused fingers stroked along her thighs trailing upward. Wet and heat met invading, searching fingers that  
touched and pleasured. She undulated against his hand, as soft whimpers surrounded him, driving him to distraction.

Edward rose up lifting her hips, pulling her close as legs parted and pressed. Bella gasped, feeling him slide against her and wondering how she had lived through the past weeks without this… without _him_.

Heat encased him, and he groaned, losing himself in her. "Oh God, Bella…"

Bella arched, words whispered as her fingers reached. "I love you."

Edward took her hands, winding fingers together, clasping and holding. A smile lightened his face, eyes crinkled, as he pressed harder. "Say it again," he pleaded.

"I love you," she breathed, her face flushed, her eyes alight, holding his.

Lips crashed against each other, hips raised and thrust, and hands clenched as bodies shuddered. Cries echoed off the walls of the room as passions exploded, leaving two souls clinging together desperately. Sweaty and spent he collapsed, his weight pressing on her. Soft hands drifted down his back, comforting... soothing. Lips met soft and lovely, as breathing returned to normal.

Edward lifted off her and lay on his side facing her. "It's good to hear you say it out loud. Not a machine, but really you, here, in front of me." Lazily, he stroked her side, unable to keep from touching her.

Lips turned up in a smile as she touched his face, lingering. "I do."

"Don't you see, Bella? This, _us_, it's meant to be. Nothing else matters. Just this."

"Edward…" she paused, searching his face. "I'm not ready. They're not ready. We can't just jump into this. We can't just shove this into their faces. I…"

"Bella, you're breaking my heart." Edward flopped over onto his back, rubbing his eyes fiercely.

"Edward, I love you." She leaned over him placing soft kisses along his cheeks. "I want you. But… I just still feel so guilty, so responsible for all the hurt. Emmett… you, your family." She shook her head. "I need time to deal with what I've done."

"It wasn't only your responsibility. Blame me. I pursued you. I knew what I was doing. They're my family; I'm the one who has hurt them."

"That is why you need to heal too. You need to be with them. Explain, talk. Not just show up suddenly with me in tow. You know I'm right." Her cheek pressed against his chest as she sighed. Apprehension curled in her stomach as she traced lines across his stomach. "Edward…" She stopped and took a shuddering breath, suddenly afraid, nervous over what he might say or do. "I was accepted into NYU. I… I want to move to New York. It's something I've always wanted." She bit her lip and closed her eyes. "It feels right. But… you feel right, too." Her hand spread out over his heart. "I want both of you."

Edward ran his hand along her hair, breathing, thinking… "I love New York too, Bella. I could take the New York Bar exam. I can intern there." He swallowed thickly, as his hand stilled. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Bella lifted her head, tears on her cheeks, a smile on her lips. "You'd go because you want to? You'd be happy there? Not just to follow me, but because it's something you want as well?"

Edward nodded, understanding her questions. Knowing that this was something she had been unhappy about with Emmett. "This is something_ I _want. I've thought about moving there myself. I probably would have eventually on my own."

Pulling herself up, she kissed him lightly. Her finger traced along his jaw. "Then we'll go. Together?" Her heart pounded, her eyes misted and she trembled. Relief and love poured through her.

"Yes," he said as the biggest, brightest smile lit up his face. "When?"

"I start at NYU in September."

"I graduate in June."

They lay, staring at each other. Bella's legs sprawled between his, her hands on his chest, his on her back. "What about until then?" he asked. "What about now?"

"I'm leaving for my grandmother's in Florida tomorrow. My flight is at three. I'm going. I still think we need time. Your family, you, me, we need time to heal. _I_ needit." She wanted to give him time with his family. She wanted things to be right between them. Maybe not him and Emmett… but his mother, Alice… She needed to deal with the loss of Emmett, and the guilt and sadness it left behind. She wanted nothing to stand in her way of being happy, of being with Edward. Time apart would be good. She was sure of it.

His eyes closed, as his heart ached. "I'll miss you."

"I want you to call, text me, email… whatever. I'll miss you too." Her arm tightened around his waist. The thought of not seeing him hurt, but she knew she had to do this.

"I will. Okay…do what you need to do." He took her face between his hands, his eyes searing into hers. "I'll wait; I'll work on things with my family… but know this Bella, if you take too long… I'm coming for you."

*****I know this took forever. I have a lot going on in my RL. I really want to be through with this story by the New Year. So I plan to write my ass off to finish it. Now hopefully my RL will just let me do that. I foresee late nights and lots of coffee.**

*****Thank you all for reading and reviewing and recing! Speaking of recing, AnotherJen one of my fab pre-readers, rec'd my little story over on the fictionators. Check it out here and be sure to browse the blog. http:/www(.)fictionators(.)com/special/feature-for-education/**


	32. Chapter 31

_***** Been a long time. I know... All I can say is sorry.**_

_***** Usual disclaimer: Twilight was not written by me.**_

_*****Thanks to mt prereaders RoryCullen and AnotherJen. As always you are fabulous.**_

_*****My totally awesome beta, JulieGirl, was unable to beta this chapter for me. Her life is very busy right now. I didn;t want to make you guys wait any longer so here it is. You may notice the lack of grammitcal competency. This is why. :)**_

_**February**_

Emmett scowled darkly as he passed the shop window decorated in red and gold. Hearts hung down from the ceiling, candies and stuffed animals filled the once empty space. Fuck Valentine's Day. He had no need for it this year. It only served as a reminder of what he had lost, what had been taken from him.

Everyone was off doing there own thing. Mike and Lauren went on a trip to spend some needed time alone. Alice was with Jasper. His mom and dad were going out to dinner. Emmett planned on working. The shop needed a fresh coat of paint, and he was just the man for the job.

He was headed to Porter Paints when he was assaulted with all the hearts and flowers. They made him want a drink, and he decided to make a pit stop at the liquor store. It was just as bad there, with advertisements for champagne and wine surrounded by more red and pink hearts. Emmett grumbled to himself and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels. Beer just wasn't going to cut it, he needed something stronger.

He put the bottle in his truck before entering Porter's. He'd parked right outside, knowing he'd have a lot to load once he was finished inside. The bell tinkled as he walked in and Carl Jacobsen looked up from behind the counter. He'd run the paint store for as long as Emmett could remember and he looked exactly the same- blue overalls, paint splattered arms and hands. "Hey there, Emmett. What can I do for ya?"

Unlike the liquor store, Porter's was empty. It made sense. Everyone else probably had better things to do that evening. "Afternoon, Carl. Mike called an order in for some paint. I'm here to pick it up."

"Yes, of course. You and Mikey are redoing old Cappy's shop? That's a great thing, love seeing you back in town." He started to pull cans of paint from the shelf. Emmett helped stack them on a flat bed as he filled Carl in on the work being done to spruce up the garage.

"Excuse me," a voice broke in. An unfamiliar face, in a familiar Fork's PD uniform walked over. Seeing the uniform made Emmett think of Bella's father, which then led to thoughts of Bella. Grimacing, he bent to pick up another can of paint.

"Hi ya, Tom. What can I help you with?" Carl seemed to already know the deputy and Emmett wondered how long he'd been around.

"I need some paint brushes, rollers… anything I would need to paint a few rooms in my apartment."

"Emmett, have you met Tom Hale yet?"

Emmett stood up, giving the guy a cursory look. "Hi, Emmett Cullen, nice to meet you." He shook hands with Tom, nodding over towards the paint brushes. "I was going to get some of those myself. I can show you what you may need while Carl gets your paint ready."

Tom smiled, "Yeah, that'd be great, thanks." He turned back to Carl. "I think my sister may have called in an order for me. It may be under her name, Rose Hale."

Emmett waited, half listening to the talk around him about nosy sisters and paint colors…. He didn't really care. He just wanted to get the things he needed and leave. He was getting anxious to be on his way.

He let the conversation drift behind him as he wandered over to the brushes, grabbing the rollers that he needed some painter's tape, and brushes. Tom met him over there and Emmett pointed out the best ones for painting interior walls.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around. I work on all the cars for the department. A friend of mine and I run the garage on Winton Road." Emmett was beginning to feel nauseated by the sight of the uniform. His mind was being inundated with pictures of Bella and her father, of the times they'd spent together. He tried not to be rude, but he had to get out of there. He slowly backed away; giving Tom what he hoped was a smile.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks, for your help." Tom looked at him strangely before shrugging and turning away.

He paid for the goods, loaded them into the truck, and went back to the shop.

He spent the rest of the day painting and intermittently hitting the bottle of Jack. Emmett was usually a beer drinker, so the Jack hit him hard. Instead of helping forget what day it was and the memories that went along with it, it brought it all to the forefront of his mind.

Stripe up the wall- Bella in her blue dress, sitting across from him.

Stripe down the wall- Bella holding flowers and smiling.

Stripe up- Bella laughing, Stripe down- kissing Bella.

Stripe up- making love to Bella.

Stripe- Bella, stripe- Bella, stripe- Bella...

Emmett threw the paint roller against the wall, holding his head in his hands. He was truly sick of feeling sorry for himself, sick of seeing her every god damn time he closed his eyes. He just wanted it all to go away. Grabbing the bottle, he chugged the rest of it down. Coughing, he struggled to catch his breath as the liquid burned its way down his throat. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before picking up the roller again.

He made two, maybe three more swipes of paint before his eyes glazed over. The room swayed and he stumbled, leaning heavily against the wall. The wet paint smeared over his cheek and down his arm as he slid slowly to the ground. Landing on his butt, he fell sideways as everything went black.

He woke the next morning, achy and sore, with a throbbing headache. Looking around, he realized he'd passed out and slept on the cold, concrete floor. He stood, gripped by nausea and made his way to the bathroom. Splashing some cool water on his face, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He was barely recognizable. He had gray paint in his hair, on his face, and all over his clothes. His eyes were puffy and red with dark circles under them. He'd let his hair grow and it hung down over the collar of his shirt. He had a beard, for fuck's sake. Jesus... he was a mess.

This was pathetic... _he_ was pathetic… and ridiculous. He needed to get his head out of his ass and wake the fuck up. Bella was gone, that was it. It was over. Edward was gone. He would never have his big brother back again, _ever_. The Edward he knew didn't exist anymore. He decided right then and there that he was through feeling like shit over his brother and Bella, because they really weren't worth it. He was done with them and it was over. Time to move on.

Emmett stood up straight, mouth set in a thin line. He cleaned up and put everything away. He stopped at the barber shop on the way home. He stopped at an apartment building with a for rent sign in the window. It was small, but affordable, and it would be _his_. He took it, signing it immediately.

Emmett felt more like himself than he had in months.

-xx-

Edward sat at the kitchen table with his mother, his hands folded in front of him, his head bowed. "What do you want me to say? I've apologized. I know what a mess I made, I know I hurt Emmett. What do you want me to do now? I'm not giving Bella up so don't even ask me to do that." He lifted his head, his eyes boring into his mothers.

"I wouldn't, Edward. I know how you feel about her. It's just a very difficult spot I'm finding myself in. You're both my boys and I love you." With a deep sigh, Esme stood and walked over to the window. She remained quiet as she stared out at the front lawn.

"Mom?" Edward raked his hands through his hair, squeezing his head in frustration.

Esme turned, concern and sadness marring her face. "I want you to be happy, son, and I know that means Bella. I just wish things could be different; that you didn't have to choose between her and your brother."

"Mom… I…"

Esme stopped him before he could get any further. "Maybe that was unfair. I know you felt as if you didn't have a choice." Edward nodded in agreement. "I understand that, Edward. I saw the way you tried. How you stayed away and attempted to make a life with someone else." She stood by him and took his hand. Edward met her eyes and finally he felt she understood; that his mother forgave him.

Her head bowed and her eyes left his. "My darling, I love you. And I love Emmett." Sighing, she looked up at him with such sadness it broke his heart. "It pains me to see Emmett the way he is. He doesn't smile anymore. I miss his smile."

Closing his eyes, Edward slumped forward a little more. He'd hoped that his mom's forgiveness would help, that it would take away some of the guilt. But it didn't. It seemed to make it worse. "I've tried to call him. He won't talk to me."

"Did you really expect him too?"

He shook his head, his eyes focused on the table. His thumb ran over the table's edge as he swallowed the lump in his throat. His eyes teared and he blinked rapidly, clearing his throat before he spoke again. "I just..." He had to stop. Sometimes when he thought of what he did to Emmett, about the relationship with his brother that he had lost, it was just too much. A gentle hand smoothed over his head and landed on his shoulder with a slight squeeze. "Shit," Edward muttered, as a tear slipped away from him. "He's never going to forgive me, is he?"

His mother remained silent, giving him the answer he already knew.

-xx-

A FedEx envelope was sitting on the table waiting for her. Bella opened it, her eyes widening and her mouth forming a small "o" of surprise. Two tickets to New York slid out into her palm. There was no note of explanation, nothing but the tickets, but she knew who they were from. They were the tickets that Emmett had bought her for the  
trip they were to take together. She couldn't believe it. She had thought he had cashed them in or returned them somehow.

She wanted to call him, to thank him and ask him why he'd sent them. They hadn't talked in a while though and she knew her call would be unwelcome.

The trip was scheduled in just three weeks. Three weeks and she would be in New York. A smile lit up her face as she held the tickets tightly to her chest. She could use the time to see the NYU campus and maybe find a place to live. She'd already scouted around on the internet, now she could go look at the few places she had found.

Who would she take with her? Edward... dare she take Edward? Was it wrong? These were the tickets Em had paid for and it seemed wrong to use them for her and Edward. But wouldn't he already have figured that out when he mailed them both? She should probably just go with Angela. That would be the more thoughtful choice.

_**March**_

Bella relaxed back in her seat. Angela sat beside her, gazing out the window, her hands gripping the arm rests tightly. Bella reached over and touched her hand. "You alright?"

Angela turned to her with wide eyes, she swallowed nervously before speaking. "First time flying."

Bella nodded and gave a reassuring smile. "The take off is the worst part. Once we're in the air everything will be fine. Let's talk about something else to get your mind off of it. Is Ben still completely jealous that you're going to New York or has he gotten over it?"

"Completely jealous. He actually threatened to withhold sex if I didn't take him with me."

Bella laughed as she continued to pull Angela away from her frightened thoughts of flying. About an hour after they were in the air, Angela's head began to droop and soon she was sleeping. Bella smiled and took out her bag with her book and phone.

There was a missed text and her eyes lit up as she opened it. It was from Edward.

_As you fly into New York, I am gearing up to see go Alice. Your trip sounds like more fun. Wish me luck._

Bella's fingers traced over the words as her brow furrowed and she bit her lip. Alice…. Finally she was going to talk to Edward. It was about time. Edward had tried calling her so many times the last three months. Bella knew her disregard hurt him deeply. She was his baby sister and she meant the world to him. For her to totally ignore him the way she had been was awful.

_I hope everything goes well. I know how much you miss her. _

_I miss you._

_I miss you, too. _

_I want to see you after you get back from NY. It's been three agonizing months. Too long. __Remember what I said I would do if you were gone too long?_

_I remember. _

_So say, "okay", or do I need to come get you?_

Bella's heart fluttered as she thought of seeing him. She was ready. Although she was still saddened over what had happened between her and Emmett she had come to accept it and realized it was what was meant to be. Of course, she wished she had handled it differently, but it was over now and there was nothing to be done about it.

It had taken awhile, but when Emmett sent her the flight tickets it woke her up. It was almost like he sent them to her to let her know that he understood. It was weird and she hoped she was right since they hadn't really talked.

_Okay_

_Really! _

Bella's smile widened. _Yes. _

The phone began vibrating in her hand, and pushing the green button, she answered. "Hi,"

"Hi. So… when do you get back?"

-xx-

Emmett sat on Mike's couch nursing a bottle of beer, his eyes focused on the game playing out on TV. A cheer rose up as a basket was scored and Emmett smiled. Jumping up he went into the kitchen to grab another beer. Lauren was in there with a friend of hers, Kate. She smiled at him when he entered and he grinned back, his eyes doing a quick sweep over her. She was hot- small, yet curvy with curly blonde hair and sinfully red lips. Emmett couldn't help but look at the girl's cleavage spilling from her blouse. He was a guy after all and it had been a while since he'd been able to fully appreciate a woman.

Grabbing the beer, he went back out to the living room and sat down with the rest of the crowd. Mike's house was full of people. Some Emmett knew from high school, some were new friends.

Kate walked up to him and smiled down at him. "Is this seat free?"

Emmett nodded, even though his heart gave a slight tug. He ignored it. "Sure."

By the end of the game, Kate was firmly attached to his side. She was in town on spring break. She attended college in California and the fact that there was no possible chance for a relationship eased Emmett's mind. He relaxed while talking to her, for the first time in months enjoying a woman's company.

"In LA, it's always warm. You should visit there sometime. It really is like a whole different world. I love going to school there. It's weird being back home." She touched his arm lightly, her fingers trailing over his wrist. She was in constant motion, always chattering, and she had a very expressive face. He enjoyed the way her green eyes shimmered with interest and basked in the attention that she was paying to him.

"I'm not a big city guy. I enjoy more of a small town pace. Like here." He smiled as her hand landed on his knee, his eyebrows rising as she gave it a small squeeze.

"I can see that. You look comfortable here." Puckering her lips, her eyes flittered around the room. "Are you really into this game, Emmett?" A small thrill raced through him at the way she said his name. He shook his head; he hadn't even noticed that a new game had started. She smiled coyly, and took his hand. "Want to get out of here?"

Casual sex wasn't something Emmett did; Bella was the only girl he'd ever been with. So, he was a little reluctant at first. He reminded himself he was free to be with whomever he wanted. It had been three months. It was time.

"Yeah." Emmett was conscious of the eyes on him as they stood together. He looked over to find a smirking Mike, lifting a beer at him in a silent toast.

He took Kate to his apartment. They wasted no time, immediately undressing and falling into bed together. Emmett reveled in the feel of soft lips and skin, of someone touching him and making him feel alive. She was a loud, expressive lover and Emmett laughed out right a few times. She giggled and admonished him for laughing. The laughter died down as things got more serious.

Kate stayed for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. They ordered pizza and drank beer, talking and laughing. They went for round two and then three. Exhausted, she flopped back on the bed, trying to catch her breath. "Wow."

Emmett grinned, his arm resting along her body. "Yeah, wow."

She left with no promises of calls or letters. They knew what this was and both were happy without the entanglements.

After she left Emmett fell into a deep sleep, awakening the next morning refreshed and feeling better than he had in months.

-xx-

Bella and Angela stood at the center of the Kennedy International Terminal looking for the sign for the Super Shuttle. Bella had made the arrangements for the ride to the hotel before they left. Once they were on board, the girls stared out the window excitedly, wondering how long before they got into New York City.

Two hours and a harrowing ride later they arrived at The Dream Hotel. Bella was hungry and a bit grouchy over the long ride. They had been the last stop and she figured that was just her luck. Once inside though her sour mood dissipated. The lobby was beautiful, with a large cylindrical aquarium right in the center. The staff was extremely helpful and friendly and soon they were in their room, showered and changed, ready to go out into the city.

It was a beautiful night and they decided to just do a walk about and explore the area around them. Angela smiled and shook her head every time Bella texted Edward to share where they were.

_I'm standing in front of Radio City Music Hall._

OMG! A Broadway sign!

Edward, it's beautiful.

Rockefeller Center is like a giant underground mall. I didn't know that.

_We got lost and couldn't find our way back out. LOL!_

Angela just lit a candle in St. Patrick's Cathedral.

For every text she sent, she received one back. Edward sounded just as excited as she was, living out each experience with her.

_We're taking a cab to the Empire State Building._

Bella stood on top of the building in awe. The sky had darkened and the lights had just begun to come on. Her heart pounded and a smile lit her face. She was _so_ happy. She had this amazing view that she was sharing with her best friend and she had Edward. Angela took her picture in front of the skyline and she sent it to him before calling.

"You're so beautiful," he answered.

"It's beautiful _here_."

"Wish I was there with you."

"So do I. But we'll be here together soon."

She could hear the smile in his voice, "Yes… yes, we will."

-xx-

"Hi," he said, his voice sounding breathy and barely audible.

"Hi yourself, I was just thinking about you," Bella lay back in the bed as she stretched out her legs.

"You were? What about?" His voice sent ripples of delight down her spine and she sighed, smiling softly before answering.

"How much I miss you."

"God, I miss you, too Bella… you have no idea how much."."

"How are things with your family?"

"Well, I won't be spending Easter over there, let's just say that."

Bella sighed, frowning deeply. "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. I've been to see mom and dad. Everything's going to be fine… at least with them. I had a really good talk with mom. She forgives me, Bella. She's still upset that Emmett is hurt, but she forgives me."

"That's wonderful." Bella's smile grew as relief flooded her. She had been so worried. "And Alice?"

Edward sighed, his voice dropping. "She canceled." Anger replaced relief and Bella felt a sudden urge to kick Alice Cullen right in the ass. "Mom says she'll come around. I hope she's right. I talked to Jasper and he's working on her, too. I don't know. I'll just keep trying I guess." He quickly changed the subject, not liking the lurking sadness that was associated with his family "I'm going to pick you up at the airport."

"I'm flying into Jacksonville."

"I know. I'll be there."

******* So? What's next? We are getting very close to the end now. Maybe 2 more chapters? **

*******Love to all my reviewers. You are awe inspiringly insprirational. :) **


	33. Chapter 32

*****Thank you to my team of fabulous ladies. You all help me so much. RoryCullen, AnotherJen, and JulieGirl. I say it again and again, but it will never be enough. Without you this story wouldn;t be what it is. I love you all! :)**

*****Disclaimer: The characters from this story belong to another. Thank you Mrs. Meyer for introducing them to us and making them so fun to play with.**

_**March**_

Rose sat at her dining room table, opening her bills and sipping a glass of wine. Her MasterCard statement was high and she scowled as she scanned down the list of charges, reviewing each one. _Black's Auto Repair._ She was seized by the memory of vivid blue eyes. Eyes that had shown heartbreak and sadness... _Emmett_. There had been something about him, _something_that was still with her.

She'd made another trip to Black's. The boys that worked at the shop thought she'd come for a tune-up, but that was just an excuse. What she'd really wanted was information. They were surprisingly helpful. She'd learned all about Emmett Cullen's broken heart.

Rose had been shocked and disgusted when she was told what had happened. Emmett's brother had been screwing around with Emmett's girlfriend right under his nose. It was horrible. No wonder he'd appeared so miserable. How could his brother have done such a thing? Rose couldn't imagine doing anything even remotely as awful to her own brother.

Rose had wanted to find Emmett right away and help him to forget. She'd wanted to be there for him and make him feel better. It was a preposterous idea; they barely knew each other and rushing in would only lead to him pushing her away. She remembered the damaged look in his eyes. That was something that needed time to heal; he would need time on his own. She suppressed her impatience, but it wasn't easy. Rose was not a woman who liked to wait to get what she wanted and she _wanted_ Emmett.

She thought about him constantly - his eyes, his handsome face, and his body. God, even his voice lingered in her thoughts. The only thing she couldn't remember was a smile. Oh, he'd smiled, but it had been polite, half–hearted and hadn't reached his eyes. She wanted to see his real smile... to _make_ him smile, more than anything. He should be happy... _she _could make him happy.

What if seeing him again changed things? Would she feel the same or had she built him up to be more than he really was? She doubted _that_... she remembered everything very clearly and did not believe her head had been swayed in any way.

A visit to her brother was in order soon and maybe while she was there... well, who knew? Maybe she would run into Emmett. _Maybe_ she would be able to look into those blue eyes and see something other than sadness.

Maybe this time, _he _would see _her_.

-xx-

Edward regretted showing up unannounced the minute he walked through his parents door. He'd come to see Alice since she was in town for the weekend. He'd hoped to talk to her, to try and make things better and possibly heal the riff between them. Seeing Emmett there destroyed that hope.

Emmett stood, his fists clenched, eyes, dark and furious, narrowed on his brother. What the fuck was _he_ doing there? He stepped back away from Edward, taking a deep breath. "No." One word encompassed everything he was feeling. Just _no_ - no to Edward, no to the anger rising in him, no to self-doubt, and no to despair.

Edward sighed and closed his eyes, his voice shook as he said, "I didn't know you'd be here, Emmett. I'll go."

Emmett turned his back on Edward, unable to look at him without feeling sick. Pain shot through Emmett's chest and he shuddered. He'd thought he was doing better, but seeing Edward just brought everything back- the pain, the hurt, the loss. He didn't want this. He didn't want to go backwards. "_I'll_ leave."

"Emmett," Alice said, placing her hand on his arm.

"Nah, it's alright. I gotta get back to work anyway." He gave her a squeeze. "I'll see you later." He had to walk past Edward to get out the door. Their eyes locked. Edward looked miserable, but Emmett just didn't have it in him to give a damn.

As Emmett walked out, Edward's gaze shifted to Alice. She was glaring at him, her anger clear. His self-hatred returned in force. He shouldn't have come, nothing was going to change. "I just wanted..." He swallowed harshly, and looked away from her. "Damn it..." It was pointless, he should leave. "I need a minute and then I'll go." His chest felt like  
it was being crushed as guilt and remorse choked him. He hurried past Alice, closing the bathroom door firmly behind him. Leaning on the counter he took in deep breaths, his hands shook as he turned on the water. Splashing a bit of cool water on his face, he tried to get in control of himself. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out and he was able to stand on his own.

Alice was sitting in the living room and as he walked past she called to him. "Edward?"

He turned to face her. "Why did you come?"

"I wanted to talk to you. I had hoped..." his voice trailed off as he shook his head.

"You hurt him, Edward. You hurt our family. We'll never be the same again." She looked down at her lap.

"I know." He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared hard at the floor. "I understand why you hate me."

"I don't hate you." It was barely a whisper and her voice trembled.

"You sure act like it." Cautiously, he walked over and took a seat next to her on the couch.

"I don't, but I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you." She sniffled as she took a shaky breath.

"I don't always do the right thing, Alice. I'm not perfect and I know you don't understand why I had to do what I did. Maybe you'll never understand or forgive me, but I am still your brother and I do still love you. I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

She still wouldn't look at him directly, but just hearing her say that she missed him, that she didn't hate him… Edward closed his eyes, a small sigh of relief escaping him. It wasn't much, but it was a start. He'd take what he could get.

-xx—

Emmett sat at the bar nursing a beer. All the anger and hurt that he had worked so hard to suppress had resurfaced when he saw Edward. It was duller, but it was still there, digging at his heart.

The TV over the bar was showing a rerun of Sports Center and he tried to concentrate on that, but it was no use. His brain just wouldn't shut up. It was like it was on repeat - Edward on the floor, Edward with a bloody nose, Edward's hand reaching out to him, Edward tossing the football with him, Edward sitting at the counter eating a dish of  
ice cream...

Sighing heavily, he took another drink of beer. It was hard to reconcile the brother he remembered in his youth with the man that he was now. To Emmett, they were two totally separate people.

The empty stool beside him was suddenly filled as the guy from the paint store, Tom, took a seat. "Hey," he said while waving the bartender over. Tom ordered himself a beer. "Nice to see I'm not the only one needing a drink at eleven o'clock in the morning."

Emmett grimaced and nodded his head. They finished their beer quietly, some unspoken agreement between them to just chill. After the beer mugs were empty, Emmett broke the silence. "So, what brings you here?"

"Family. Father, actually." Tom looked down at his empty glass. "He called me this morning. First time we've spoken in five years."

"Shit." Emmett shook his head, unable to even imagine not talking to his dad for that long.

"Yeah… shit." Tom looked up at Emmett curiously.

"Family. My brother slept with my girlfriend." Emmett winced as he said it, looking to the bartender and pointing at his empty glass. He wasn't sure why he had admitted such a personal thing, but there it was, out in the open.

Tom's eyes widened fractionally. "Ouch…"

"Yeah." Emmett let out a brief, dry laugh.

Conversation lagged as the beers appeared in front of them. About half way through his second glass, Emmett motioned to the pool table. "Pool?"

"Sure."

-xx-

Edward stood at the large window, gazing out as the planes flew in and landed. He'd flown into JAX at eight this morning and had been waiting ever since. After exiting his plane he had wandered the terminal aimlessly. He had breakfast and a cup of coffee, bought a book to read. Time had passed slowly and he was anxious to see Bella.

He checked the flight board again. Her flight was on time and should be making an appearance very soon. He paced, impatient to see her, excited and nervous all at the same time. He could see the plane as it taxied in. His eyes never left it as it connected to the runway door.

His heart beat fast, as his neck strained and his eyes scanned the area the passengers were currently passing through. She was wearing a pink cotton dress with a white sweater. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail. It had been so long since he had seen her and he couldn't stop staring.

Edward swallowed, a smile stretching across his face. "Bella!"

She turned toward him, her face a mask of surprise, changing to delight. "Edward?"

They met in the middle, hands unable to keep to themselves, touching and feeling. Lips met, eyes closed, soft and savoring. His fingers traced along the shell of her ear, down the line of her neck. "I've missed you," he whispered, breaking the kiss.

"I missed you too." Time stood still as they stared into each others eyes- without doubt, without fear or sadness. Edward bent, kissing her again, this time a little more passionately, a little more needy. His arms wrapped completely around her and pulled her close. The noise and crowd of the airport faded around them. He saw only her, felt only her. His body hummed with just the feel of her, the soft weight of her body, the pressure of her lips against his. His heart soared.

Bella leaned into him, surrendering completely, knowing that she wanted this, wanted _him_. Her skin tingled, her insides melted as she gave him everything.

He smiled, ending the kiss. His thumb stroked her chin, his eyes searched hers. "I love you."

Bella's cheeks flushed, her eyes lit up as she wound her fingers in his hair. "I love you, too."

Together they made their way to the rental car waiting for them in the parking lot. Inside, hands clasped over the center console. She gave him directions to her grandmother's but other than that they didn't say much, too caught up in each other to speak.

Edward carried her suitcase inside and set it on the floor. "This is where you've been staying?"

Bella nodded, taking his hand and leading him out back. The beach stretched out before them. "Wow." Edward breathed in, the scent off the ocean adding to his feeling of contentment.

"I know. It's beautiful," Bella said.

Edward hummed quietly, as his gaze shifted to her. She was more beautiful to him than anything, including the vast beach that spread out before them. "Is your grandmother here? It's so quiet."

"She's at a friend's." Bella turned toward Edward, her arms encircling his waist. "It's so good to see you. I missed you. We could make lunch and eat by the water?" She wanted to talk to him about so many things, but at the same time she just wanted to relax and soak in his presence. They had plenty of time now, no rushing off, nothing keeping them apart.

Edward's fingers skimmed over here hair. "Sounds great." He kissed her lightly, his lips lingering over hers.

-xx—

_**May**_

Emmett, Mike, and Tom stood around the pool table, but none of them were paying any attention to the game. Instead, their focus was on a group of young ladies laughing and drinking at the bar.

"Lauren would skin you alive if she saw you right now," Tom snickered, glancing briefly at Mike before his eyes refocused on the black haired beauty giving him the eye.

"I'm married, not dead and I would never do anything. I can look... just not touch." Mike  
nervously shifted his pool stick to his other hand as he looked away and took his shot. "Besides, Emmett's the one with the drool all over his chin."

Emmett wiped at his jaw, just in case. There was a tiny red head with a nice ass that kept looking his way. He was thinking about going over there and buying her a drink.

"Holy shit," Mike fumbled with his pool stick, his mouth dropping open as he stared at the door.

Emmett followed his line of vision to one of the most stunning women he had ever seen. She was tall, _crap_... at least six feet, with legs that went on forever. Her platinum blonde hair hung straight down to her waist. She had full hips and generous breasts and Emmett  
immediately forgot all about the little red-head.

Rose knew exactly when he looked at her; she could _feel _it. Her heart raced as she took him in from the corner of her eye. He still looked the same to her… gorgeous. Taking a deep breath, her gaze focused on her brother.

"Rose," Tom said while shaking his head.

Emmett startled at the name, his attention shifted to Tom. "You know her?"

"She's my sister."

"Shit..." Emmett's eyes followed her as she made her way across the room.

"Tommy," Rose said, trying not to stare too blatantly at Emmett. She wanted to keep her cool, to not act over eager and blow it. She pulled her brother close, hugging him tightly.

"Rose." Tom smirked as he looked at her. He knew what his sister was up to. She'd been unable to hide her curiosity about Emmett when Tom had mentioned him on the phone. After much prodding he'd finally gotten her to admit that she had met Emmett before. Releasing her from their hug, he gestured towards Emmett. "This is Emmett and that guy over there is Mike."

"We've met." Rose finally looked directly at Emmett. His blue eyes showed his confusion as his head tilted to the side. "You fixed my car once."

How in the hell had he missed her? Emmett had a slight recollection of fixing Clara's granddaughter's car, but he didn't remember her looking like this. Had he been blind? Had he been so buried in himself back then that he had missed her? He nodded apologetically. "I'm sorry, Rose. It took me a minute, but I remember. How's the car?"

"Good." Her eyes shifted away from him as she glanced toward the bar. Damn she was nervous. She didn't feel like herself. What was it about him that left her so tongue-tied?

Tom stepped in, and she sighed in relief. "Rose seems to think she's unbeatable at pool. What do you say we prove her wrong?"

A few beers and games of pool later, Rose was more relaxed. She was able to speak coherently and even flirt a little with Emmett. Emmett was flying high. This girl was something else - beautiful, smart and funny.

After winning two games against Mike and Tom it was Emmett's turn to play against her. He didn't fair very well. "Maybe if I had some real competition this game would be more fun." Rose smirked cockily and lifted her eyes to Emmett as the eight ball sank in the right corner pocket. She'd beat him.

His smile grew, deepened, and before he knew it, took over his whole face. It was the first completely real smile Emmett had displayed in months, the first time he'd felt truly happy.

Rose's eyes widened. Deep dimples were on each one of his cheeks, eyes brightened and appeared even more blue if that was possible, his lips parted showing off his pearly whites. "Damn… I knew your smile would be amazing."

Emmett's eyebrows rose, his mouth parted. She'd thought about his smile? Emmett stepped toward her and took her pool stick from her hand. "Want to ditch these two and get a table? I'll grab a couple beers."

Rose nodded, glancing quickly at her brother who was shaking his head. He gave her a wink and turned back to his friend Mike. "Looks like it's just you and me."

Emmett stood at the bar, suddenly nervous. As he waited for the beer, his mind ran wild with confusion and apprehension. Would this be like it was with Kate? He didn't think so. This already seemed different. But what would come of it? Was he ready for anything more than that? He wasn't sure. He still thought of Bella, even now. He'd loved her for so long, he didn't know if he could move on. He was jumping the gun though. Who knew what would happen with Rose? Maybe nothing… He looked over at her, his eyes catching hers. Nothing? He almost laughed at himself. This was definitely _not _nothing.

Beers in hand he sat down next to her. They sat a minute contemplating each other while quietly sipping their beers. Rose's pulse thrummed in her ears. Emmett's palms were sweaty and he wiped them along his jeans. Slowly, they relaxed and started talking. It was more than she'd hoped for. It was more than he expected.

*****Two months... I know. I've got a million excuses, but it is what it is. Sorry.**

*****I am a Co-Admin on a new FaceBook page devoted to Rob P. I adore the man and love talking about him. Come join me. We want this to be more of a chat room. A place to discuss all things Rob in a respectful way. It's called Rob's Room. **

**https:/www(dot)facebook(dot)com/#!/RobsRoom1 If the link doesn't show do a search for Rob's Room. Hope to see you there. **


	34. Chapter 33

****So, this is it. Finally. The last Chapter. Thanks for sticking with me.**

****Thanks to RoryCullen for helping so much with this chapter and her never ending encouragement to finish this story. ;)**

****Thanks to AnotherJen and JulieGirl For being there for me throughtout this story.**

***Disclaimer: The usual. Stephanie wrote Twilight and gave thes characters to play with . **

_**Chapter 33- Ready**_

Bella shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Scanning the area around her, she fidgeted nervously with her purse strap. God, what had she been thinking? I mean really, was this the best place to face Edward's parents for the first time? Maybe she should have gone to see them. Maybe Edward should have invited them over for dinner. It was too late now though. At any minute Carlisle and Esme Cullen would be joining her. The two seats beside her were reserved just for them. Bella chewed her lip, as her heart gave a nervous flutter. She felt a little sick remembering the last time she had seen Esme. She'd been half naked, and had just given Esme's son a blow job. Bella's cheeks flushed as goose bumps raised up her arms. Yeah… not such a good moment to see Edward's mother. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her racing heart. She probably shouldn't think about Edward and blow jobs if she wanted to stay calm. A small smile played across her lips as she slowly settled into her seat. 

The Graduates began filing in, giving her something else to focus on as she strained to see Edward. They all looked the same- black caps and gowns, purple sashes; it was hard to tell which was him. Meany Hall was filled with students and their families, all chattering loudly. She glanced behind her and caught sight of Esme and Carlisle. Edward's mother was looking directly at her with a soft smile on her face. Bella's breath caught in her throat, as she struggled to get in control of herself. Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked furiously. Damn it… just looking at Esme made Bella feel all the guilt and sorrow she had been trying to get rid of over the past few months.

Before she knew it, Esme was beside her, sitting and taking her hand. "None of that, Bella. It's alright." She squeezed Bella's hand gently. "This night is not about that." She turned toward the students. "Can you see which one is Edward?"

Bella stared down at their clasped hands, drawing a shaky breath, grateful for the direction Esme had given her. "I can't tell, but he did say he would be in the second row." As she said it, her phone beeped from her purse. It was a text from Edward.

_Stand up, and wave your arms or something. Where are you?_

A nervous giggle burst from her lips as she looked down again at the students. Esme tilted her head, her eyes curious as she gazed at Bella. Holding up her phone, Bella let Esme read the message. They shared a smile before Bella stood, stretching up on her tip-toes. She still couldn't tell which was him. Well.. He did ask her to wave. Raising her arms in the air, she moved them about, hoping to catch his attention. She was sure she looked ridiculous, but she just didn't care.

Edward stood, his eyes shifting over the crowd. If he could just see her, maybe his pulse would stop racing. He was so damn nervous. Not about graduating, but instead about how his girl was fairing with his mother and father. He caught sight of two arms flapping about wildly, and grinned. Crazy woman… He waved back and watched as she bent to his mother and pointed him out to her. His eyebrow's lifted in surprise and delight as both ladies smiled and looked his way. Sighing in relief, he turned back towards the milling student population and took his seat.

Music began to play and the crowd quieted. Impatiently, he waited and after two long hours, he finally held his diploma in his hand. He had a feeling of accomplishment and it was with pride that he walked into the reception area hunting out his family.

He saw her first- his beautiful girl. She was smiling, with her brown hair pulled back and styled, flushed cheeks, wearing a purple dress that matched the sash on his gown. His arms snaked out, encircling her and pulling her close. "I did it." 

She smiled up at him, her eyes alight and happy. "Yes, you did." Placing a small kiss on his lips, she brushed a strand of hair off of his forehead. "Congratulations."

"We can start now." His eyes searched hers. "Are you ready?"

Bella nodded. Of course she was ready. Everything was waiting for them now. Their future together looked bright and happy.

Turning towards his parents, Edward gave them a smile. He let go of Bella with reluctance as his mother stepped forward to give him a hug and his dad placed a hand on his shoulder. 

-xx-

"Edward, are you ready?" Bella knocked softly on the door before turning the handle. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, suit jacket lying across the mattress next to him. Her heart gave a tug, knowing the apprehension he must be feeling.

"Hey..." Sitting next to him, her hand stroked though his hair.

"I don't know if I can do this." It came out as barely a whisper, the words tripping over his tongue. His mouth tightened into a harsh line and his brow furrowed as he fisted his hands.

"Of course you can. Alice wants you there. Your parents too, and they're expecting you."

"I'm not worried about them." His hands rubbed roughly down his face. He looked up at her, the green in his eyes muted, the grey swimming with conflict. "Ugh... this sucks. My baby sister is getting married. I should be ecstatic. I feel so selfish, but damn it… I wish you were going with me."

"Edward..." They'd talked about this. She didn't feel comfortable going and she didn't want to cause any disruptions or cause anyone any tension. It was suppose to be a happy day and Alice and Jasper didn't deserve it to be ruined. Bella opted to stay home.

He stood, moving away from her touch. Grabbing his jacket, he slipped it over the blue dress shirt and grey striped tie. "I should go," he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. Edward knew he was being a bit of a jerk, but he was unsettled and feeling sorry for himself. He wanted her to go. Period. Everybody else could just deal with it. He stopped once to look at Bella, and some of his anger left him. She looked so sad. He wasn't really mad at her, more the situation he found himself in. Frowning, he knelt in front of her and placed his hands on her thighs, squeezing them in reassurance. "I'm sorry."

"It's going to be alright, you know." Her fingertips brushed lightly over his cheek.

He figured if that were true, then she would be coming with him. "We'll see." Doubt lined his face as he stood. "I've got to go." Placing a quick kiss on the top of her head, he turned to leave.

Bella listened as his footsteps echoed down the hall, followed by the latch on the front door. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath before standing. She looked around his bedroom, running a hand along the sheets they had been sharing. The last couple months here had been incredible. Living with Edward was something she hadn't expected to do, but being far away from each other wasn't an option. Renting a place for the summer seemed silly and they'd agreed that she should stay with him until the move.

There were boxes stacked to one side, some empty, waiting for the last pieces to be packed. She wanted to do something, _anything _to ease the discomfort in her chest. Why was she such a coward? Maybe she should have gone with Edward. Regret weighed heavily on her heart.

Taking two empty boxes, she carried them into the kitchen. Carefully, she pulled out plates and bowls, wrapping them in bubble wrap and newspaper then stacking them in the boxes. She was so involved, she didn't hear the door open, and almost dropped the plate she was holding when two arms encircled her waist.

"I need you," Edward said softly. "Please come with me, Bella. Don't make me do this alone."

Turning in his arms, she was met with pleading eyes. The ache in her chest dissipated as she gave in to want they both wanted. "I'm not dressed."

"I'll wait."

-xx-

They sat next to his Aunt Heidi and Uncle Felix. He hadn't seen them in at least three years and his Aunt was full of questions. She kept Bella and Edward occupied, speeding the time by until the wedding started. Nervously shifting on the hard pew bench, he tugged at his tie and glanced toward the front of the church. The priest had just walked in and shortly after the music started.

Emmett was the first groomsman down the aisle. Edward's hand tightened around Bella's as his mouth dried out and as his heart rate spiked. He couldn't look away while Emmett took his place up front. It had been months since he'd seen his brother and there was a small, lonely hole in his chest that yearned for that missed relationship.

Emmett glanced around the room, searching, looking out for Rose. She was there somewhere. His eyes skidded past familiar faces, and smiles before coming to a startled halt on Bella sitting next to his brother. Shit... Alice had warned him, but he thought he'd be okay… and he was… maybe. Well, sort of. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this. His heart skipped a beat and twinged in loss and hurt. His breath caught in his throat as he wondered if he still loved her. He wasn't sure, because he felt… different. The need to be by her side was gone. His eyes flicked to Edward, the brief glance between them made his fists clench and anger burn in his stomach.

He quickly looked away and sought out warmth and comfort. He sought out Rose. When he found her, his fingers unclenched, the tension left his body and he smiled again. She looked lovely… and worried. Her blue eyes drilled into his, questioning. She could read him so well and knew he had struggled upon seeing Edward and Bella. Her eyebrows rose in silent question and Emmett nodded at her. He was okay. As long as she was there, he was okay.

Edward had felt the animosity drilling into him from Emmett when they appraised each other and it saddened him. Sighing, he again recognized the rift between them may never heal. Emmett didn't linger, instead he continued to search the crowd. Edward watched as Emmett's entire demeanor changed when he found what he was looking for. He visibly relaxed and even smiled. Turning his head, Edward followed his brother's line of vision. A woman, blonde and very pretty, was looking back at Emmett. His mother had mentioned that Emmett was seeing someone; that must be her.

All other thought left his mind when the bridal march began to play and the crowd stood. All eyes and attention turned to Alice. Oh, wow… his baby sister was lovely. He felt a hand squeeze his and looked down at Bella to give her a smile.

Emmett's smile widened as he watched his sister come down the aisle . She was beautiful and her face glowed with happiness. His heart swelled with love as she walked up with their dad.

Emmett and Edward were both unable to take their eyes away from the sister they both adored, as she swore to love and cherish her new husband. Both laughed when she started to cry and was unable to complete her vows. Both teared up when she kissed Jasper and officially became a Whitlock.

-xx-

The hall was done in white and silver, flowers adorned every table, and a band was set up in the far corner that had already begun playing music. Edward had gone off to use the men's room, leaving Bella alone at the table. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, nervously looking around. More of the Cullen family were to join them but they hadn't arrived yet and she felt awkward sitting at the huge table by herself. Luckily, it wasn't long before Edward's exuberant Aunt Heidi arrived.

The band quit playing and the announcement was made that the wedding party had arrived. Emmett's name was called and he walked in the door with one of the bridesmaids. She watched him for a minute with a slight sadness, a little recollection of things past. He must have felt her stare, because he looked back at her. A small frown turned down his mouth and he blinked a few times before nodding and turning away. A tall, gorgeous woman had come up to him and placed her hand on his arm. Taking her hand in his, he looked at her warmly, his frown gone, replaced by a brilliant smile. Bella glanced between the two of them before looking away. Emmett had a new girlfriend.

Edward was back before Alice and Jasper arrived and the rest of the nights festivities commenced. They watched the cake cutting and bouquet toss. Emmett caught the garter much to his sister's amusement and Alice and Jasper danced their first dance together as a married couple.

After dinner, Esme and Carlisle came over. They chatted for awhile before Edward took her hand and whispered, "You ready to dance, pretty lady?"

Bella flushed and smiled, her hand taking his as he pulled her up and led her to the dance floor. He twirled her around the floor, smiling and laughing. One song ended and another began. He led her around family and friends, introducing her as his girlfriend. There may have been one or two confused glances from those she had met before but no one called her out.

"Time to say hi to Alice and Jasper." Edward pointed out, before leading her their way.

Bella felt a little sick to her stomach as nerves took hold of her. Edward's arm wrapped around her waist and he pulled her to him. She stood in front of Alice, trying to smile, and offered a quiet congratulations. Alice thanked her and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Bella and hugging her. Relief flooded through Bella as she choked up and her eyes teared. She wanted to cry and to laugh as she felt Alice's acceptance.

-xx-

"Alice looked beautiful." Rose laid her purse over the back of the couch. She turned to face Emmett, a worried frown marring her face. "Are you okay?" The night had ended on a sour note, when Emmett's brother had approached them.

Emmett leaned his forehead against Rose's shoulder. Kissing her soft skin, he felt the tension from earlier leave him. "It was uncomfortable and weird… I didn't even know what to do or say…" Turning, Rose slid her arms around his waist, as she burrowed into his chest. "He said I looked happy and he was glad that I had found you." Emmett ran his fingers through her hair, swinging it over her shoulder, giving him access to her neck. "I couldn't even think. Part of me was so angry, but another part… I don't know it was just different. "

"I'm glad I was there," Rose said as her hands ran down his arms, pulling off his tuxedo jacket. She'd felt the tension between Emmet and Edward from across the room. Emmett had looked so upset, and uncomfortable that Rose had gone to him immediately. She was glad she had. She didn't want him upset, she was working too hard at making him happy.

"Me, too. You're like my rock, Rose. Grounding me, keeping me sane." Emmett's pulse quickened when her fingers glided over the nape of his neck. His fingers skimmed along the straps of her gown. "Do you need to go change?"

As she shook her head no, she looked up at him. Emmett was suddenly lost in eyes the color of the sea. Breathing ceased, pulses raced.

"I want you to make love to me." Rose's already pink cheeks, deepened, her eyes dropped briefly from his, and her nerves began to overtake her. But this was Emmett. She had nothing to be nervous about. She looked up again and smiled.

Emmett swallowed, his eyes searching... questioning. "You're sure?" They hadn't gone this far yet. He was ready, but he wanted to make sure she was too and he didn't want her to feel like she had to do this. "Only if you're ready, Rose. Not because of tonight. Not because of a misplaced need to make it all better. I want it be right."

Her lips met his in a soft kiss. "I love you, Emmett. That's why I know it's right. I want us to be together."

Emmett's palm grazed along her cheek as he bent to kiss her. He hadn't been as upset as he'd thought. His anger had been brief. He'd mostly been filled with confusion. Everything he felt was changing, and it was all because of this beautiful woman in his arms. 

-xx-

"I'll miss you so much," Angela's choked out, clutching her friend to her.

"I promise I'll call and we can email… and skype. You'll have to come visit me soon, too." A few tears fell down Bella's cheeks as she gave Angela one last squeeze before letting go.

Footsteps echoed down the hall before Edward's head peaked around the corner. "Bella, we should get going."

Nodding, Bella wiped the tears from her face and smiled. Angela smiled too, looking from Edward to Bella.

A few more tears were shed as Bella watched the familiar building fade behind her. She would miss Angela so much. She was her best friend and confidant who had always been there for her.

Edward gripped her hand, pressing gently and her heart settled. Her tears dried and were replaced with the warm glow of happiness and anticipation. She was ready… So very ready.

Edward. New York. NYU. Were all her dreams really coming true?

-xx-

Edward watched Bella, as she walked through the apartment. He knew it wasn't much. It was small, and a little run-down. There was no air conditioner, and one of the windows stuck. The yellowed paint was peeling in places, and there was a weird stain on the kitchen floor. Being an intern really didn't pay that well, and she was still in school. He didn't want her worrying about having to get a job, her studies were too important.

She stopped to look out the window in the bedroom. There was a fire escape there that led to the roof. It was his favorite part. Her lips were turned up slightly and there was a light in her cinnamon eyes. "I love it."

Breathing a sigh of relief, he took his hands out of his pockets and gestured towards the window. "Are you ready to see the roof? There's a great view."

Bella's eyes skimmed down his body before flickering to the bed. She bit her lip, shaking her head. "Not right now."

Shit… Edward's eyes widened slightly as he took in the heat from her eyes and stepped toward her. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well… since we are going to be living here…" Her words trailed off when Edward's hands grasped her waist and he pulled her to him.

"You really like the place?" He needed to be sure.

"It's perfect."

As his grin widened and his eyes crinkled, Bella lost what little breath she had left. He was beautiful, and it was so good to see him this happy… as happy and content as she was. She traced a finger over his smile, marveling at the way he made her feel. "Kiss me," she whispered, then lost all train of thought when his lips met hers.

-xx-

Bella gasped as her fingers clutched at Edward's arms. Her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she threw her head back, letting loose a long throaty moan. "Please, Edward. I'm ready... please."

Edward looked up at her from between her legs, a small smile playing on his lips. "You're ready?" He rose, his body sliding up along hers.

"God, yes... please..."

"Just what are you ready for?" he breathed into her ear, a soft laugh escaping his lips.

"You." Her legs wrapped around his waist as her feet pressed firmly into his ass, pushing him towards her.

His laughter disappeared, as a rush of want jolted down his body. "I'm ready, too," he whispered, his lips brushing hers. With a quick thrust of his hips he was buried deep inside her. He stilled and swallowed hard. "Damn it, Bella," he breathed brokenly, his lips trailing along her neck. He reached for her hands , threading her fingers with his as, he slowly began to move. His mouth parted as grunts and sighs escaped his lips. His cheeks were flushed as he rose up to look down at her.

Bella stared up into eyes of green fire, and she squeezed his hands tightly at the burn that blazed through her body. Stretching and arching, her skin met his. "Oh, God…" She trembled as she was overwhelmed by him. "Edward… Edward." Freeing her hands, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed him to her. Her tongue played along the shell of his ear as she whispered incoherently.

The soft breath against his ear, the muffles and warm pants were driving him crazy. It was too much; it was _always_ too much with her. He groaned, and shuddered. Faster. Deeper. "Fuck…"

She watched him, the way his eyes crinkled, the muscles in his shoulders tensed, his tongue flicked out to wet his lips. Her pulse raced, as her finger nails dug into his back. There were no other noises in the room, only Edward's breath, Edward's moans. Tears filled her eyes as everything built and spiraled through her.

Everything inside Edward tightened, collecting in a sharp pounding beat, begging to break free. Below him Bella stiffened, crying out sharply, as her eyes bore into his.

He swore, his release washing over him, his head falling to rest on Bella's shoulder. His body trembled and his legs were weak. Before he collapsed, he reluctantly drew away from her, only to curl up at her side. Bella lay flat on her back, stretched across the new sheets they had picked out together. Her breath gradually returned to normal, as she stared up at the ceiling fan slowly circling above her. Her skin was damp with sweat and she turned on her side to let the breeze from the window cool her off.

The sounds of the city filtered in, car horns honked, radios played, people talked. Bella smiled as she listened to the world around her and her fingers played along the wet hairs on Edward's forehead. "We should really invest in an air conditioner."

His fingers trailed along the sweat pooling between and below her breasts. "I don't know. I kind of like you this way."

Her nose wrinkled in distaste and she turned facing him. "I need a shower." Her eyes ran over his body, taking in his disheveled state. "_You_ need a shower. I mean really, it's been two days and we haven't even left this apartment. We're in New York! Let's go out."

Edward smiled, leaning in to give her a chaste kiss, before nodding in agreement. "Dinner and Times Square?"

Bouncing out of bed, Bella grinned. "I'm first."

**The End**


	35. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

**2014**

"You need to stop meddling, Alice." Edward's fist tightened around the phone.

"You already missed his wedding. Do you want to miss the birth of your nephew, too?"

"They're having a baby?" His eyes closed and he swallowed. His head started to hurt.

"Yes. A boy, due in December. Edward, you have to talk to him."

"I've tried."

"When was the last time?"

Edward hung his head, his fingers nervously tapping along the window. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd tried reaching out to Emmett. It'd been years.

"You two are ridiculous. Time moves on, people change, things change. He loves Rose and you love Bella. Everything has worked out for the best. Can't we just try to be be together as a family? I miss Christmas." She took a shaky breath and Edward knew she was crying. "What about Taylor? Don't you think your niece deserves to have both of her uncles present?"

Edward sighed. She was right. They had distanced themselves from each other and his family was paying the price. "What do you want me to do?"

"Come home for Thanksgiving. Bring Bella. I'll invite Emmett and Rose, too."

"I don't know, Alice..."

"Just be here. Please."

He'd do it. It scared the shit out of him, but he'd try

-xx-

**2017**

Tony Alex Cullen giggled and ran across the snow that covered his front yard. Behind him, a tall man with red hair and green eyes, grinned as he patted the snow in his hands, forming a small ball.

He gave chase, surprised how fast the young boy was. The snowball was faster and caught Tony right in the behind. Screaming in delight, Tony turned and grabbed his own snow, tossing it back at his uncle.

Preoccupied with the child in front of him, Edward missed the sneaky little miss now covertly creeping up behind him. Rosy cheeks, and a bright smile, pink stocking cap and mittens, Taylor Whitlock grabbed the back of her Uncles jacket as he knelt down. Edward gasped as cold snow melted down his back.

Standing, Edward shook himself, much like a wet dog, trying to displace the freezing water. "Taylor!" He yelled, spinning to catch the girl in his arms. More giggles ensued as Edward hung her upside down.

A green vintage mustang pulled into the driveway, it's motor roaring and load. Tony jumped up and down, his hands over his ears. "Daddy, Daddy!"

"Hey, buddy." Emmett called as he stepped out of the car. Little arms wrapped around his leg, and Emmett bent to lift Tony up in the air. "Are you having a snowball fight?"

"Uncle Ewad make a fort and we made snow ball." Tony snuggled against his daddy, his tousled red hair standing on end, his blue eyes round and adoring.

"Sounds like fun." Emmett said, his eyes flicking over towards his brother who was just putting down their niece.

"Hello, Emmett."

"Edward." With a small smile and a nod, he walked past Edward and into the house.

Edward followed Emmett in, his hand warmed by pink mitten covered fingers.

Taylor stopped next to Tony. Both children rid themselves of gloves, coats and boots.

Edward followed the smell of baking cookies. Finding a tray of chocolate chips he grabbed one, still hot and proceeded to gulp it down. Next to him Emmett did exactly the same thing. Grinning like boys they ate another and another until a shrill shriek sounded behind them. "Boys!"

Two guilty faces turned to face their mother. Emmett licked the corner of his lip, afraid there may be crumbs there for evidence. Edward swallowed quickly, the last crumb getting caught in his throat. Coughing loudly, he sputtered while his mom stood there glaring. "That's what you get and don't think I don't see that chocolate smudged across your face, Emmett. You're just as guilty as Edward. These are my Christmas cookies and if you boys eat them all now we won't have any for later..."

Edward cleared his throat and made for a glass of water, his mother's complaints ringing in his ears. Rolling his eyes behind her, he looked at Emmett and flapped his hand about. His mother was really on a tangent now.

Emmett grinned and mom whipped around to glare at Edward. Lifting his arms in innocence Edward drank his water. While his mom's attention was on him, Tony came into the kitchen. Eying the cookies hungrily he turned huge puppy dog eyes to his dad. Emmett grabbed a couple more cookies off the tray and handed one to Tony.

Grinning madly, Tony took a big bite, chocolate smearing on his chin. He walked around his grandmother, a happy look on his face, half a cookie in his hand. Emmett tried to grab his arm, but it was too late. "Can I have some milk, Mema?" Cocking an eyebrow at her grandson and giving an exasperated look to her sons, Esme turned and stalked out of the kitchen.

-xx-

**2020**

"I can't believe you guys are finally getting married." A small smile, played on Bella's lips as she adjusted her dress. "I mean, you've been together for years."

"We just weren't in any hurry. We're happy and we had a lot going on." She stood still as her best friend Kate buttoned up the back of the dress. The last eight years with Edward had been busy. There had been law school and interning and multiple moves. Now, finally things seemed to have settled down.

"Bella, you look beautiful." Kate grinned, appraising her.

Bella felt beautiful.

-xx-

**2022**

"Holy shit. Holy shit... really?" Edward couldn't stop grinning. He reached out and grabbed his wife, pulling her close and staring down at her.

"Mmmm, Hmmm..." Bella laughed, nodded and pulled the stick from her back pocket. Right there, plain as day was a pink plus sign. It was positive. She was pregnant.

-xx-

**2023**

The Christmas tree was huge, ornaments hung from every limb. Some were homemade, some store bought, but all handled with care and love.

The family that sat around the tree was happy. Every face bore a smile. The children sat on the floor, ripping paper and pulling apart packages. There was Taylor and Sam two sisters, but both so different. Taylor wore pink sparkly shoes and a pretty dress, Sam wore a black shirt, denim skirt, and black chucks. Next were Tony, Amy, Madeline, and Alex. The four siblings were loud and boisterous. All but one had red hair, the youngest, Alex, was a blond. Then there was Rebecca. Small, not a yet a year old, she enjoyed being passed around the room. On her head a shock of dark brown hair, long for an infant, messy and soft. Right now she sat on the knee of her favorite uncle as he pressed a teddy bear against her stomach making her giggle. Her grey eyes stared up at him in adoration.

Bella sat next to her husband, but her attention was on Rose as she whispered a secret. Baby number five was on the way. Edward opened a box for Sam, rising an eyebrow at the assembly instructions inside. Emmett enjoyed time with his niece and wondered what Rose would think if he told her he wanted another. He was afraid to ask. Alice smiled, holding Jasper's hand and watching all the gifts erupt.

Grandma and Grandpa Cullen, settled back, smiling and content with their family around them.

****Cheesy? Maybe. But I love a happy ending. **

****Thanks everyone for following me on this journey. **


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